#u can check that on wikipedia if ur interested but what it boils down to is that a bunch of academics have been up in arms since ~the 1920s

[serialreblogger]

Spelling was not standardized in Shakespeare's England

yes this is my point. william "sex jokes" "historical RPF" shakespeare is broadly upheld as the pinnacle of english literature, and zero percent of his works conform to any standardized spelling/grammar system

"shakespeare couldn't spell his own name" is shorthand for "the snobbery of ~english literature & canon~ is both self-contradictory and arbitrary in the extreme." & to me this means that anyone can create whatever they want and be just as good as any shakespearean sonnet. bc the only real qualifier for "good writing" is that somebody cared about the story they were telling, and the only real qualifier for "good reading material" is that someone, somewhere, wants to read it

no gods no kings no earl of oxford only a bunch of plays written in a drama club's groupchat and the people who keep investing them with meaning. there is no magic formula or golden standard. the only thing that gives any art any value is the people who choose to value it

#ask linden #this is about the title of my blog #shakespeare couldn't spell his own name and NOBODY CARES! #this is my point! #nobody *should* care! it doesn't matter!! #also that last line abt earls of oxford is in reference to the ''oxfordian theory of shakespeare authorship'' as the wiki page calls it #u can check that on wikipedia if ur interested but what it boils down to is that a bunch of academics have been up in arms since ~the 1920s #over the idea that The Venerable Shakespeare could have been some rube born to commoners #obviously plays so Erudite (& so uniquely appealing to the ''commoner'' demographic) could not have been authored by some paltry lowborn! #why that boy billy probably couldn't even write! #- which like. cmon man. u have about as much evidence as chemtrails here. and also like - #yeah there's a solid chance shakespeare wasn't super up on his penmanship! but that doesn't mean he wasn't capable of eloquence?? #like in all probability a lot of shakespeare's work might not have been penned by him #& in fact it's not unlikely that at least some of it was quasi-crowdsourced as actors & collaborating playwrights weighed in #Richard Burbage probably had a lot to do with Hamlet's character work & writing!! we know this!! #we do not create in a vacuum!!! art written in a groupchat is not less valuable or artistic for having peer review built into it!! #shakespeare was just some guy. & he's also a symbol #arbitrary as that designation may be. but the old white men who chose their canon chose him as a patron saint #so i will go on insisting that if we're to know shakespeare we had better know him properly. foul mouth gallows humour bisexuality & all #shakespeare #literature #linden's originals #linden in the tags

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs: 4.1.2017, 3.31.2007

the songs that debuted on the billboard chart this week and ten years ago this week.

3.31.2007

42) "With Love," Hilary Duff

This was thoroughly unpleasant. Hold up, before I check Wikipedia, I'ma guess Kara DioGuardi was in on this one? I think I've listened to enough 2007 at this point that I can recognize Kara DioGuardi's trademark blechery in here. /checks the credits/ OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY IS SHE SO TRASH. Kara DioGuardi has written plenty of bad songs, including the two most disappointing songs I've heard as part of this project. She's given a credit on "Be Good to Me," which you'll recall was a travesty, and she's given a credit here, on this bad imitation of a Timbaland song. I won't do a Worst 10 or anything like that, because why would I think about things I don't like any longer than I have to, but I guarantee, there’d be multiple Kara DioGuardi joints on a Worst 10. I'm not going to look at her Wikipedia page, for the same reason other people find it difficult to watch Hannibal, but also to keep life full of surprises.

68) "Survivalism," Nine Inch Nails

a fun thing about listening to political songs from 2007 is how quaint they seem now. remember when the problems we have today were still problems but like 1% as bad as they are now? say what you will about dubya, he never flew into a rage on a saturday morning and accused bill clinton of wiretapping the texas rangers. there was some shit being pulled in 2007, like f’rinstance remember that one time the president suspended habeas corpus for undocumented immigrants? that was pretty unchill. but at least he wasn't gleefully racist. at least he didn't propose we spend billions of dollars to build a monument to racism.

76) "Get It Shawty," Lloyd

I didn't hate this! This song is incredibly 2007, but it's 2007 in a way that's somewhat timeless, if that makes any sense. Like, in 2014, I wrote about Nico & Vinz's "Am I Wrong?" that, yeah, there's a few things in there that will mark it as being from 2014, but if you wrote this song in any era, it could have blended in with that era's trends and styles with aplomb, and we would have loved it all the same. There's a lot here that's very 2007, but at its core, this song is kind of perfect, could have been released today and sound like a hit from today and still occupy the same space in my heart. It's like "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)," or Amerie's "One Thing," just a solid song which'll make you go "Oh yeah! This! I loved this!" when it comes on.

90) "You Know I'm No Good," Amy Winehouse ft./Ghostface Killah 91) "Rehab," Amy Winehouse

It is uncouth to speak ill of the dead. It is also uncouth to write that sentence in this context, prolly, but let us be known for what we are. I hope she's doing better. (That bass on "You Know I'm No Good," tho.)

94) "Beautiful Liar," Beyonce & Shakira

Listen, team, we need to talk about restraint for a second, because there are a thousand ways this project could have gone wrong. You get two superstars on the track together, there's absolutely the risk of putting something completely overcooked on the market, some showy vocal battle, but everything here is so understated. The Middle Eastern-y sound could have been laid on too thick, but it's doled out in this tiny, almost imperceptible dose, and that sets the tone for the rest of the track. No one belts anything, because it's understood that there's nothing to belt about, just a dumb boy that isn't worth the effort, and Beyonce and Shakira are compelling singers who don't NEED to be belting all the time to get the point across. This is such a fascinating song! You would expect a song from two titans to attempt to set fire to the world, but this merely simmers, doesn't even boil, just simmers, and it's an agreeable choice.

96) "Like This," Kelly Rowland ft./Eve

The synth track on this song kind of, kind of sounds like the main menu theme of Yoshi's Island, at least sounds close enough to Yoshi's Island that I can completely fuck with this, even if I think the drum track is kind of illogical. (Bob! you should be making jokes, what is this music criticism thing.) UGH FINE oh wow kelly rowland follow beyonce much. you know how like you two used to be in destiny's child but beyonce had a much more successful solo career. hey where's the michelle williams one. um, michelle williams much? that's a person also who was in destiny's child as well, also. she's very less successful! how about that! having fun living a full life and hopefully retiring early after having made smart investments with the money you made from your time in a popular music group? what a putz!

2007 Top 20 In Progress, Except Not Really, Because 2007 Is Kinda Over if You Haven’t Noticed? But I’m Still Ranking These Songs as I Go Because I Don’t Know What Else to Do. 20) "Outside Looking In," by Jordan Pruitt (2.24.2007) 19) "Like a Boy," by Ciara (3.17.2007) 18) "Grace Kelly," by MIKA (2.17.2007) 17) "Get it Shawty," by Lloyd (3.31.2007) 16) "Break 'Em Off," by Paul Wall ft./Lil' KeKe (3.10.2007) 15) "My Oh My," by The Wreckers (1.27.2007) 14) "Mr. Jones," by Mike Jones (1.27.2007) 13) "Settlin'," by Sugarland (2.17.2007) 12) "Movin' On," by Elliott Yamin (3.17.2007) 11) "U + Ur Hand," by P!nk (1.13.2007) 10) "Doe Boy Fresh," by Three 6 Mafia ft./Chamillionaire (1.20.2007) 9) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 8) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 7) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 6) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 5) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 4) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 3) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 2) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 1) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) Jordan Pruitt, hanging on for one more week! Can she keep the miracle run near the bottom of the chart going? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO FIND OUT HOW MUCH I ENJOY “WHO KNEW.”

4.1.2017

14) "No Frauds," by Nicki Minaj, Drake, & Lil Wayne

This was a very boring song, most of which concerns a topic in which I'm not particularly invested? Like I guess it's kind of interesting to drop a diss track where you sound completely disinterested in the beef, the response is perfunctory and you're only responding because your opponent's name carries some weight and people'll give you shit if you completely ignore it. I’m down for a diss track where the participant is hella bored by this nonsense, but that probably wasn't the intended interpretation. I dunno. If there's one thing I learned from digging through just three months' worth of 2007 hits, it's that there are songs meant to be forgotten, and I have a feeling, if there is a 2027 and we're all still free, there's gonna be another obsessive white dude who's made poor life choices and poorer facial hair choices digging through the 2017 vaults, coming across this song, and realizing sometimes things are forgotten because they're forgettable.

61) "Regret in Your Tears," by Nicki Minaj

I'm of two minds on this. The first one doesn't think we put Nicki Minaj on this earth to make Drake songs. But also, I had a good time! It sounded inspiring, and the idea of a Nicki Minaj break-up song is so inherently interesting to me that I'd almost put it in the "down for this no matter what" category. I just think it could've been a touch more creative than "here's Nicki doing a sad song."

71) "Changed It," by Nicki Minaj & Lil' Wayne

That thing Nicki does at 1:45, "I am Billie Jean and the bitch is my SON," that's why we never stop believing. That's why we listen to this nonsense with entirely too much modern-day Lil' Wayne, because Nicki Minaj will ocassionally do things like that with her voice.

72) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky

I DON'T KNOW WHY FRANK DECIDED TO START BEING BREEZY AND MAKE SONGS THAT ARE FUN TO LISTEN TO BUT I APPRECIATE THAT HE'S ZAGGIN' ON 'EM. It feels shitty to give this song a couple of spins and then form a loud all-capsable opinion about it, because that feels like giving the intricacy and depth of Frank Ocean's songs short shrift. But it's his own damn fault for making this song so breezy! It's not necessarily lighthearted, it's not like Frank Ocean is ever gonna take us to his happy place, but it's airy and soft (you know, soft, like air sometimes is), it feels good to just let these sounds envelop you, and I haven't quite yet figured out how to express what I love about the transition to Rocky's verse, but trust that I loved it. (Maybe this doesn't need to go up the date the chart drops?) nah, we’re good

78) "Liability," by Lorde

This feels like a song that's probably going to be really dope in the context of the album, where it can play the supporting role it is clearly meant to play, but as a standalone track, I dunno. It's definitely more interesting than the average piano-'n-strings song, you can really hear that Fun. sound clear as day. It's just not particularly substantive on its own. Though, I suppose if it's being released as a teaser, it performs the job admirably, giving just a hint of what the album could sound like. I'm stoked.

95) "Prblms," by 6LACK

sadness is not the only valid emotion. darkness cannot exist without light. fucking christ, you people won't listen to "Run Up," but you'll listen to a parade of fucking dudes bleat about how shitty their relationships are. i don't get it.

The 2017 Top 20, Which Actually Is in Progress! 20) "Regret in Your Tears," by Nicki Minaj (4.1) 19) "Way Down We Go," by Kaleo (1.14) 18) "Everyday," by Ariana Grande ft./Future (3.4) 17) "Light," by Big Sean ft./Jeremih (2.25) 16) "Draco," by Future (3.11) 15) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 14) "Good Drank," by 2 Chainz ft./Gucci Mane & Quavo (2.11) 13) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 12) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 11) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 10) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 9) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 8) "Shape of You," by Ed Sheeran (1.28) 7) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 6) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 5) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 4) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 3) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 2) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 1) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) “iSpy” is a freshly-minted Top 10 hit, and I’m so excited for that. Light the way forward, KYLE. Show the world it’s okay to be happy and make fun songs.

Who won the week?

Frank Ocean had the best individual song, and that is to be commended, but oh my stars does 2007 ever take it. “With Love” would sink weaker ships, but we had “Beautiful Liar” and “Get it Shawty” on this one, along with the Yoshi’s Island sounds and the bass line in an Amy Winehouse song. “Chanel” took to the seas with one pretty cool Nicki song, two bleh Nicki songs, fucking 6LACK, and a Lorde song not meant to live on its own. It falls to the bottom of the ocean, and future underwater anthropologists (prolly a thing?) will find it in the wreckage and ask how..

Official Standings 2007: 1 2017: 0 (it kinda won last week, but I’m not counting that as a win, because honestly that was more scouting report than battle.)

Rough week for 2017, but hey: Drake made a new thing! If nothing else, at least this week wasn’t that.