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#uhhhhhh see yall again in like 12 hours
sposca · 3 years
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since we’re not getting any renga content for another week or so we must take things into our own hands
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obannthepunished · 6 years
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uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains
"They call me eagle-eye fjord where i come from." "maybe raven. i dont know." that theory about Fjord being the Hawker is suspicious rn (Apparently theres a third i missed whoops) sam apparently similar thoughts maybe bc Nott brings it up
Jester finally teaching kiri basic phrases, like "go fuck yourself"
Beau + Fjord taking first watch
Caleb checking out the dodecahedron
(Unrelated odd point: i have a current dislike/distrust for liam, which is bullshit bc... i love liam. and caleb and vax. but apparently smt is wrong.)
Dodecahedron is Very Old, and has been shaped/polished Cay uses the haversack as a pillow
BEAU/FJORD Beau: "I think I messed up. I think I should apologise." I HURT? Oh beauregard. oh marisha. "i wanna try, I guess" F: I think he deserves that. He's been good to us. i regret not writing fic now 8(
"OOH, terrible" "YEP." "five" "five" (collective "ooh")
Nott + Jes second. they roll not great.
Tinkle tinkle "nnhnohfishnott"
Kiri is poofed up asleep aAW
trident goin for FRUMPKIN NOOO (pause whilst they look for range on dismissal)
Kiri wakes up "Go fuck yourself :("
Theyre waiting for fish head they could just reappear Frumpkin tho...
Jester is sacred flaming, Molly has a sword active + stabs, Caleb fire bolt, Nott fires an arrow, Fjord eldritch blast, Yasha stabby
Molly + Nott + Caleb miss Fjord hits, Beau hits, Yasha hits dunno bout jes
frumpkin poofs back but doesn't see anything else.
???? alarm lasts 8 hours, not until triggered yall it should still be up. they need to look up the spells smh
Nott messaging to tell yash to hide the bodies
LAst watch is Yash and Caleb i need to stop shortening names
Caleb asks Yasha for people advice :') He's writing it down... i love him Yashas advice is basically "Fucking Bathe" And cay confirms he keeps himself gross because people ignore him more that way 8( Baby
C: "Do you know what i miss? shaving." Y: "I could shave you right now with my sword. I've done it before, you know, to... not have hair on my arms-" Omg shes doing it omg theyre doing it omg I DONT HAVE TO DRAW FACIAL HAIR IN MY FANART ANY MORE FUCK <3333
cay forgets he has a dagger jesus fucking christ
i love everyone making comments + taliesins just amazed like, borderline heart eye emoji look at this whole scenario
M: (to Caleb) "Well done, she [yasha] likes you!"
Nott is Not Happy About Water N: I'LL STAY WITH KIRI everyone else: Convincing her to come N: I'll stay with kiri, and if there's any trouble... we'll see what happens
Fjord goes first, he sees, with his 60ft darkvision, architeture of room. mistly natural, some bits not.
Fjord botches his stealth roll but matt botches his perception even worse. and my thing crashed im so mad.
Fjord is Not a good swimmer. hes like. 30ft swimming speed. Things being left: Caleb's books (2) Molly's coat
travis willingham going "kiris gotta die" then dragging everyone who gasped through the dirt
beau gets fucking 37 on her stealth check Matt: "That's some vax numbers right there!"
The visual aid is... so extra. lights. smoke. what the fuck matthew. (note: when ur best friend is called matthew this is a phrase you say too much)
Surprise round for erryone but Molly and Yasha (purrsonally, i think they were too busy talking abt how beautiful cay is now ;3c)
everyone rolled shite for initiative tho
Caleb casting haste on molly O:
Fjord is very very adept at everything
everyone on crit role can do maths better than me 8(
the marrow fuck beau and fjord royally
watching call lightning forming + marishas face as she slowly realises :)
jes gets the first hdywtdt + crushes a fish with a lollipop
Caleb is taking blind potshots with the glove of blasting boyy. One even hits!
moll gets 3 attacks i love my beautiful devil child
N: Are you guys alive and do you need anything? you can reply to this message~ C: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK N: oh,, alright.
Taliesin's relief when ashley actually hits is very good.
Beau goes down! D:
hi unrelated taliesin sticking his tongue out at sam fills me with indescribable joy
NEW: Horny twink gets double penetrated by feisty wet ones.
... which is to say two fish dudes stab molly.
Jes heals Beau, but we all know fine fucking well if she hadn't, Yasha would have done it on her next turn. still might since she's only on 11
Cay using dispel magic O:
Molly gets the second hdywtdt "I'm literally just a windmill at this point"
FJORD gets the third F: "I see Molly loojin' around, give him a little wink-" (murders) M: Fucking arsehole F: (witty comment) PEACE OUT (blinks out again)
"Sevens are scary" - Taliesin
Yash gets the next hdywtdt Xorhasian Neck Tie Jesus christ
I was right tho Yasha was seriously considering healing beau, it just takes her action
Two more fishfucks 8(
More call lightning
Sams flask says "lost my best friend over a bowl" and that hurtie
caleb is boutta die. Yasha is boutta die first lmao oh no. i love taliesin jaffe an inhuman amount. Yash gets pulled OVER beau and marisha makes like grabby hand motions which is VERY cute
ok NOW caleb boutta die. he Shield's, and then fragments "Caleb will remember this"
Beau looks at Yasha, looks at Caleb, and goes to CALEB (sobs) blasts a ki point and everything
Molly gets a nat 20 oh he's such a babe
Nott spending her turn justifying herself to Kiri
Fjord blinks back in and fucks up ANOTHER fishfuck
Yasha casting healing hands on HERSELF good.
"You dont have a printout of your character sheet????" "Oh yeah I do after you asked me nine times" liam wh
both yash and caleb are at ONE hp
B, spening her last ki point: HEYCALEBWESHOULDTALKLATER
Beau gets the HDYWTDT tho
Molly is Very Sick from losing haste
Caleb goes the fuck down Fails his first save
everytime tal says "im gonna try something weird"  i heart eyes emoji shame he cant do jack fuck though
Nott Burning Bolt shoots the fishfuck for 24 damage jeeeeez doesnt die but drops lightning
Fjord: (appears, fails, disappears)
if Caleb permadeaths i WILL cry
PLEASE YASHA PLEASE GOD JESTER PLEASE THEY KILL IT IM CRYING SO HARD no like literally i am actually crying bc matt very deliberately did that so that he didnt kill Caleb
Jester uses her pearl of power to regain a slot, and use it to cast prayer of healing for SHIT rolls.
Jester goes back to Kiri <333 baby. baby bird.
Matt mercer keeps using words ive only ever seen written and im ALWAYS ???? about their pronunciation
Fjord finds some L00t Like boxes and longswords and a pool of water with dozens of metallic objects mostly outlawed diety symols. changebringer moonweaver. others i forgot. stormlord. everlight. asmodeus ooh, bane strife emperor. and tiamat.
"a little black bird that's fluttering to try and get dry" fuck thats so damn cute. Marisha has the :D face
Calebs books are dry
wooden box + pool are magic. like. WITHIN.
Enchantment in the box. Molly collecting the moonweaver pieces
JESTER FINDS TWO SYMBOLS FOR THE TRAVELLER? HOLY SHIT Different make, pure silver one, burnished bronze another door arch with the road
Molly gets 12-13 symbols
Nott mage hands just so good even drunk
in the box is a blade, gold, jewel encrusted Molly shoves Nott aside to get it cause its a scimitar style
Caleb finds the arch-heart symbol? Takes one
Yasha takes 4 symbols for the storm god.
Bane/strife emperor symbol Fjord is curious about chained coffin he throws it into the pool. nothing happens.
JEster goes to pll it out and gets a big catseye yellow gem,  magical, but not a school of arcane magic. it has a line groove in it, very deliberate, an oval.
"something about that [orb] is very familiar"??? (Matt to Travis)
i was right about the orb being familiar
C: (abt the gold sword) This blade is called Summer's Dance C: "Mr. Mollymauk," M: "Mr. Caleb."
Blade allows user to cast Blink basically, and is stronk
official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...
i think its probably misty step and not blink 
official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...
on the sword i mean
caleb tries to ID the orb
fjord touches it "sky is moonlit + cloudless, clothes not your own, nor body, overcoat + human skin. thick calloused skin. left hand stone. look down, see body of previous owner, dead in blood. natural landmass seawater night. flash. right hand grasps falchion. voice booms. potential. jams the stone into gut, cCONSUME. vanishes into belly. looks into water. REWARD." "Vandrin."
i dont kn ow what the fuck is going on.??? everyone else sees this o shit
oh shit is the eye the symbol of Fjord's patron?
"he was my mentor, a captain of mine. a man named Vandrin." Y: What happened to Vandrin? F: I'm not sure. he captained the ship i worked on for many years, and their was an incident. an explosion, terrible weather, waves, "i was knocked overboard" when f woke up he was back on shore
"how did you survive" "I'm not entirely sure."
explosion was sabotage.
the pool is saltwater.
Molly shoves Fjord's head into the water
comes up "You okay???" "Do it again" "Tap three times when you're done!" Fjord drowns
they take as much as possible up and out and decide to dynamite everything in. dramatic exit..
They take the bodies down and lay them in the swamp to rest and decompose.
Beau tries to pull Caleb aside and he just stonewalls her until she actually apologises.
Caleb "I give beauregard a hug and say 'idont know what im doing. just. go with it." BEau very AWKWARDLY hugs him back Beau consulting Fjord, Caleb consulting Yasha The entire other side of the table clapping.
Beau: UH. GOOD TALK. FRIEND. (awkward silence) Beau: Seriously though. Friend? (pause) Caleb: Uh. Ja. (brb dying)
there is a single yellow eye on the hilt of the falchion.
episode END
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