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#unfortunately i am a horrible man enjoyer this has been consistent my entire life.
trans-estinien · 1 year
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Sometimes I feel like doing this with my brain
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#its 12 am and i should probably sleep instead of rambling but#man. its rough having your fav blorbo be a fucking terrible person#cause on one hand you have the villain woobifiers and people who just completely ignore major aspects of a character for a fucking ship#and on the other hand you have people who hate you for enjoying a character. and thinking said character is interesting#and yeah yeah i know not everyone will like me and i should just ignore it and keep on doing what i enjoy but. ugh.#and im also constantly worried that ill fuck up and become a villain woobifier myself#and im also constantly worried that when im writing my cannon blorbos ill fuck up and write something super ooc and people will get mad.#i think fandom was a mistake#but i also wouldn'tve met the besties without fandom so? you know. everything's got two sides#this is such a stupid thing to get all upset over but.#unfortunately i am a horrible man enjoyer this has been consistent my entire life.#and people usually dislike people who like your typical tumblr sexyman type character. which is fair most fans are insufferable#veils if you read this far this isnt abt you it's abt someone else. dont want to like start shit so i wont say names#but i saw. a vauge post from someone i thought was cool and i just. i knew it was directed towards the tags i left on their post#and i felt bad so now im having big anxiety over it. its really stupid i know#i am just going to retreat to my corner and hope to creation that im left alone. im just playing dress up with the blorbos#and like. they're entirely allowed to have their opinion im just. brain is convinced everyone hates me now for no fucking reason.#i gotta. work on this but idk how. therapy fucking failed cause i forgot about it 💀#but. i should sleep. its past 9pm so my brain is not to be trusted.#ok fuck it ill just say it i feel guilty that Emet-Selch is not only my favorite character but also my comfort character.#im not going to stop liking him because that wouldn't be fun. plus others opinions dont really matter i can like whatever characters i want
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titusmoody · 3 years
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It’s the end of the first quarter of 2021. Here’s a brief review of the things I watched/played/read.
Games
Donut County- pretty charming, very easy, fairly satisfying to play. I’d recommend Untitled Goose Game over this, though.
Heaven’s Vault- If you only have room in your life for one space archaeology game, play Outer Wilds instead. However, you get to translate alien writings yourself (in a simplified game way) in this one, so I’d recommend both. 
Donkey Kong Country 3 103%- so many fun level mechanics in this one. The difficulty of finding and completing everything in the game was spot-on for me.
Donkey Kong Country 2 102%- Each level mechanic in this one is explored and used in far more interesting ways than DKC3, though I honestly had more fun with 3 this time around. This one is the “dark, edgy” one aesthetically which is extremely dumb. Also, there was a lot of guesswork involved in finding some of the hidden stuff, which I didn’t enjoy.
The Room 4- I like escape room games. This one was good. It continued 3′s trend of trying to shake up the format a little, which is fine (better here than in 3, I think) but I wouldn’t have minded if all 4 stayed exactly the same, just with new puzzles.
Spider-Man: Miles Morales- Everything about it was competent. Not only was each gameplay activity fine-tuned to feel good, but the structure of the game also kept kept you experiencing a good variety of each activity. PS5 graphics are good, too. Nothing about it really got me excited to play it, it was just a good after work unwinding thing.
Cyberpunk 2077- Exactly the opposite of Spider-Man in terms of quality consistency. There are aspects of this game that are amazing, horrible, and every step in between. However, I’ve thought about it quite a bit and will probably continue to think about it for both good and bad reasons.
Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair- Donkey Kong Country has better level design and controls. Well, the best levels of this were every bit as good as the best DKC levels, and maybe I’m just so familiar with DKC levels that I zone out a little during the boring bits, but had to pay attention to every moment of this game. Still, I didn’t have as much of an overall good time as the DKC games I played earlier.
Hue- Good 2D puzzle-platformer. I’m no longer surprised by these, but I still appreciate them, much in the same way as I like playing escape room games. I was under the impression for a few years that because I understood the potential of puzzle platformers, it meant I wouldn’t want to play any more of them, but that’s simply not true. I had a good time with Hue.
Shows
Gravity Falls- It’s fine. Pretty entertaining. I wish there were more low-stakes kinds of episodes, just to get more familiar with different sides of the characters. It would have made the characters and setting feel more rounded.
Cowboy Bepop- I didn’t get the hype for this show when I first watched it at 21, and now I can say that it’s simply not my kind of show. I have much more appreciation for it now than I did the first time, but it doesn’t hit me emotionally the same way that it seems to hit so many people. 
Seinfeld- It’s Seinfeld. There was precisely one episode that I had never seen before, plus confirmation that I didn’t dream the episode that’s told in backwards chunks like Memento and is set in India.
Paranoia Agent- While it was disappointing that this ended up being a more simple morality tale than every Satoshi Kon movie I’ve seen, I still enjoyed watching this a lot.
Aggretsuko- I liked the mundane, every-day storylines like a modern, more empathetic Seinfeld. Unfortunately as the show went on, there were more and more wacky situations that no one actually gets into. I might watch the upcoming season if I hear that it’s less ridiculous.
Over the Garden Wall- This was really cool and I’m glad it exists. It’s ten episodes long, which is perfect for it. I thought it was at its weakest during the more lighthearted or humorous moments--precisely the opposite of Gravity Falls. The word “classy” comes to mind to describe this show. 
Beastars- Really good when it isn’t falling into anime plot and dialog cliches. A lot of this first season is dedicated to introducing characters and the setting, which I thought was very well done. I’m curious to see what Season 2 is like.
Movies
Scott Pilgrim vs the World- It’s a fun movie to watch. It definitely makes many of the characters’ flaws seem like more fun than it probably should, but I’m more bothered by the criticism I hear that boils down to “it’s a bad movie because the characters are bad people” which I suspect is an impression you only get if you lack both empathy and media comprehension.
Big- Kinda bad. It has iconic moments that are only possible with its weird premise, but it’s just not a premise that supports an entire good movie. 
Phantom of the Opera- Way better and way worse than I remember. Has the precise right amount of horses.
Knives Out- Not really a movie I needed to watch a second time, but it sure is good.
District 9- I didn’t remember most of this movie and unfortunately I zoned out for most of this rewatch, so I still feel like I don’t know what it’s about.
From up on Poppy Hill- Not one of the top tier Ghibli movies, but still really good in a down-to-earth way that I like from Ghibli. 
Enter the Dragon- I knew to expect everything to be turned up to 11, which is good because it really is a lot. I liked it, though.
Shutter Island- I have never actually liked this kind of twist-reliant movie. I thought I would for many years, but I was always disappointed. At least now I am aware that it’s not what I’m into.
Soul- The premise is much too convoluted, but it does have an excellent moment near the end.
Onward- I liked this one a lot. Why don’t more people talk about this one? It’s definitely better than Coco, which itself was really good.
A Silent Voice- The kind of movie that reminds me that sometimes Japanese storytelling is more to my taste than Hollywood style, in that scenes can be more emotionally ambiguous. 
Tangled- Good in exactly the same way as Frozen and Moana. I can’t really complain, but this isn’t the same situation as puzzle platformers or escape rooms. In this case, I do get a little sick of being completely unsurprised. This movie was made first, so it’s only by chance that this is the one that I saw last.
Monsters University- A good movie, but it really doesn’t have to be about the same characters as Monsters Inc. 
Monty Python and the Holy Grail- Still funny
The Departed- Good if you want an enjoyable crime thriller to watch, bad if you want a Scorcese movie.
Titanic- Getting very drunk and watching this with Brittany might be the best time I had in the past three months. Maybe I won’t think too hard about why a movie about the overdue, violent death of a social order resonates with me right now.
Prince of Egypt- Impressive and grand, but I didn’t really care about the characters or story.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan- A good but not great (by TNG standards) concept for an episode that was made extremely enjoyable by the added budget and longer runtime of a movie.
Star Trek III: The Search for Spock- Not as good, but still watchable.
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home- The kind of ridiculous concept you’d only make when you’ve already had three successful movies and are confident that you’ll be able to make at least another couple. The gang go back to the 1980s (present day to the original audience) and save the whales. It’s apparently exactly the right movie to watch if this is the third consecutive Star Trek movie you’re watching.
Mamma Mia- A lot of fun, but has weird problems that seem like they would’ve been easy to solve at the script level. Maybe if the conflicts had been introduced early on instead of dragging the whole pace of the movie down for much of the last 20 minutes, I would’ve enjoyed the whole thing.
Books
The Well of Ascension- The second book of a trilogy. Very competent. Introduces a whole lot of minor conflicts that really keep the momentum going and give the characters short-term goals that contribute to the overall plot and their arcs. 
The Hero of Ages- The final book in the same trilogy. Equally competent. I wish there had been more long-term payoffs, which is the trade-off you make by stuffing the books full of those short-term conflicts. Spoilers ahead, but not ones that I think ruin the experience of reading. It’s very odd that of three of the central characters, one dies, one becomes a god and then dies, and one becomes God. 
Check Please- About as pleasant as it gets. Full of the type of minor character that sitcoms end up running into the ground because they’re too one-note (Creed from The Office, for instance) but in a series with a pre-planned length, there’s no chance for it to get stale. Plus, I really liked both of the lead characters.
Milkman- Good book about “The Troubles” in Ireland. Very odd collection of characters, but the narrator had an extremely enjoyable voice to read. 
And Then There Were None- Classic mystery story for a reason. Feels more like a Hitchcock movie than Sherlock Holmes. I read it in one day both because the prose was easy and I wanted to know what happened next. Not much substance to it, unfortunately.
Homegoing- Extremely ambitous book where each chapter is narrated by the descendant of a previous chapter, alternating between two branches of the same family. I liked it quite a bit, though because I only finished it yesterday I don’t have much reflection done yet so my opinion has yet to solidify.
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graceivers · 7 years
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Review #26 - Ruthless
Ruthless Author: Lexi Blake Genre: Billionaires & CEOs, Contemporary Romance, Lawyers, Romantic Suspense, Workplace Romance Rating: ★★★★★ Recommendation: worth reading; might read again Summary: Riley Lawless is hellbent on seeking revenge for his family. Ellie Stratton happens to be innocently connected to the Lawless family’s downfall. The plan for Riley to seduce Ellie to get what he wants, however, takes many turns and soon changes both of their perspectives on what they know about each other and their own lives.
Female Lead: Sweet, amazing Ellie Stratton. Blake tirelessly writes Ellie as sweet and innocent and a bit idealistic even when her world turns upside down thanks to the Lawless clan and other people undermining her under her very nose. And still, after all is said and done, those amazing qualities persist. Her compassion is consistent and apparent and wins out in the end. Ellie has a pretty strong moral compass. She chooses to look toward the future instead of wailing about everything unfortunate thing that has happened in her past. She has appropriate and justified reactions to every twist that throws her life in a loop, and yet she rarely wishes ill on those who have wronged her. She has understandable insecurities given the position she is in as a female leader, but in the end, she is still a strong and independent woman who worked hard to get to where she is. Seriously, kudos to Blake for writing a WELL-ROUNDED female protagonist—one that is strong, one that stands up for herself, one that takes her life into her own hands, one that recognizes her insecurities and overcomes them, one that is vulnerable, one that is compassionate and loving and understanding and willing to forgive and all in all, GOOD. Male Lead: Oh, Riley Lawless. My favorite thing about the way Blake wrote this character is the duality between his aggressive and hard personality due to the circumstances and experiences of his life and the outright fear and vulnerability this character exudes when he is honest and comes to terms with the life he’s been forced to live. Riley is hellbent on avenging his parents and has worked basically his entire life since their deaths toward that singular goal. Given his horrible experience in foster care, though, he’s bruised and broken. He admits that he’s not normal. But oh, it was the most heart-wrenching moment when he told Ellie that he just wanted to be normal. That kind of honesty behind the usual hardness we get is exactly what I wanted to see in this character in order for me to really root for him and his relationship with Ellie.
What was even better was his character development, especially in regards to how he was approaching his relationship to Ellie and how his perspective on it continued to morph. Riley views her as a target first and maybe collateral damage, but once he worms his way into her life and they begin an intimate relationship, his perspective changes. He puts Ellie first! For the first time in Ellie’s life, someone has put her first. And even though Riley has so much to make up for given that he lied to and betrayed Ellie, he still puts her first. He does everything in his power to love and protect her. He’s willing to give up what he has left of his family and their crusade to avenge their parents because he loves her more than anything. Take note! Love is far more powerful than hate. That is something to be remembered, and Riley perfectly exemplifies that notion. But oh, it doesn’t stop there. No, when Riley is trying to win back Ellie and it’s not exactly going as planned, he recognizes his faults! He realizes what he’s doing wrong, how he shouldn’t be treating Ellie like some goal he should plan and execute, and he rectifies his behavior! He refuses to give up and decidedly changes his tactics because that’s what Ellie means to him. And because that’s how you treat a woman—not by demanding or giving an ultimatum or forcing her but by chasing while respecting her wishes and boundaries. That was seriously the best, and I commend Blake for infusing that into this book.
One tiny note, Riley’s sleeping issue. I love that that was incorporated into his character, but I think the issue was kind of left hanging when there was a point to its inclusion. I can’t really believe that for a guy who can only sleep in a room by himself with the door locked and a chair underneath the doorknob can suddenly get so much better after literally sleeping with Ellie for a night. Blake does include the revealing nightmare Riley has into that scene, which tells us that he’s not completely over it, but I personally thought the issue was a little glossed over. But… that’s me being a little nit-picky when I can understand that there are a lot of other parts of the story that require attention compared to this sleeping issue Riley has. Plot & Writing: Ruthless is a work of romantic suspense with all the right ingredients that made the book an enjoyable read. The female lead shines; the male lead is a three-dimensional character; the plot is dramatic and juicy and yet emotional all at once. I mean, okay, the definition of internal screaming was me reading the prologue because I had zero idea that the Lawless clan were kids in that moment until it was embarrassingly late, and geez, I basically loved every single Lawless child right there and then and would defend them no matter what they would do and who they would become in the future. Blake really got me invested in these characters from the get-go, and that was crucial.
I must talk about how much female empowerment I felt in this book through Blake’s writing. I mean, maybe it was enhanced because literally the last book I read was that abomination in my previous review, but seriously, Ellie Stratton was sorely what I wanted and needed. First of all, FEMALE CEO. I mean, she kind of has to fight for the title given the book’s plot, but still. She’s top dog at her company and everyone knows it, including the people trying to take her down. Not only is she all but the CEO, but she worked her way up. Yes, the company is her father’s, but she wasn’t just given the position and the company. She had been working there since a teenager and in multiple departments, so much that many employees showed a lot of courage and loyalty to her when others tried to undermine her reputation. But not only that, SHE’S THE ONE TO TAKE DOWN THE BAD GUY. I mean, Castalano, the bad guy, died not at the direct hands and effects of what Ellie or any of the Lawless’ physically did to him, but seriously. Ellie was the one that physically neutralized him as a threat. I love Ellie as a character so much in that moment, and I love Blake for putting that in. So much female empowerment. I love it.
I thought Riley and Ellie’s relationship developed at a pretty good rate. I wasn’t really keeping track of how long they knew each other before they decided they were falling in love with each other. Did I initially think it was too fast? Yeah. Somewhere in there, Blake said it had only been a matter of a weeks or at most like a couple of months or something. I could be wrong. And yet, I didn’t feel bothered by any instalove problems. It was so clear to me that Riley loved Ellie so much, that she changed not only his view on life but his life entirely. I thought the strong emotions and determination behind that feeling was genuine to root for the couple. Of course, Ellie was absolutely entitled to feel hurt and betrayed the way she did given that Riley lied and all but used her, but again, her compassion is what defines her character, and in the end, she can’t help but feel compassion towards Riley and his siblings. She can’t help but be on their side. Hell, she kind of already was when she found out both what her father did to their family and who Riley truly was. And though Ellie has every right to be angry at Riley for the rest of her life and never forgive him, well, life and death situations tend to make people reevaluate and sure enough, she realized that Riley’s relentless ways to win her back were in fact genuine and that their love could not be denied.
And then there was the fact that there was no dilly-dallying on Blake’s part. Blake didn’t keep secrets from the reader, and that was great. I know authors like to drag things out, keep readers in the dark and guessing as to what’s going to happen to create that suspenseful tone; hey, as a writer for fun, I’m probably guilty of it too. But Blake doesn’t go there. She flat out states what she needs to when she needs to. The fact that Ellie knows straight-up her father’s involvement in ruining the Lawless family was honestly refreshing. The fact that Ellie was brought into the Lawless revenge plan once she knew of Riley’s true identity was great. Blake got to the point and moved things along. The plot itself was suspenseful, and Blake honored that plot and relied on her story to set the tone. It worked out well.
Two slight, tiny things. First, there were a couple of typos. That was a little disappointing considering I read this off of Overdrive and it wasn’t self-published or whatever. Very minor in the end, but still, shouldn’t have occurred. And second, the epilogue was a tiny bit disappointing. Yes, I understand that Blake utilized the epilogue as a segue to the next book in the series. Unfortunately, I was kind of hoping for a better wrap-up for Ellie and Riley’s story. Alas, I hope that they’re going to make strong side appearances in the future books of the series. Secondary Characters & Plots: I LOVED THEM ALL. Seriously, all of them. Even the bad guys, I loved for playing their part in being bad. Again, I was absolutely Team Lawless from the beginning. If Riley is hard, Drew, the eldest Lawless, is twice has hard and aggressive. I mean, Blake describes him predatory. Is he a scary man? Probably, yeah. Am I going to read his book and root for him to find love? Absolutely. After finding love with Ellie, Riley is concerned and so wanting his big brother to find some light and warmth and to have love in his life the way he has, but Drew is so closed off and adamant that he won’t find it or get it or have it. It was heartbreaking when Drew kept having moments where he said that he didn’t get it or didn’t understand why Riley so vehemently protected and chose Ellie over avenging their parents’ death. Goodness, Blake really made me feel for Drew then.
And then Bran. Oh, Bran. His childhood was clearly the worst out of all the Lawless siblings having gone from foster home to foster home. It’s evident that something horrendous happened, which is why Bran can be so wildly violent. And yet! There’s the sweetest side of him that protects women. I mean, Blake wrote that Bran worships the housekeeper basically for doing her job! Cute isn’t the right word to describe Bran at all, but seriously, that soft side of him is exactly that. Bran is absolutely the philosophical one, the one with the psychology minor, the one that sees the world in that particular and almost poignant way. I love him as much as I love Riley and Drew and am equally invested and rooting for him.
Mia, the only Lawless girl, was great, though we didn’t get much of her. And again, Blake wrote all the other secondary characters very nicely by giving them defined roles. Even the McKay-Taggart clan/company/whatever! SERIOUSLY. I WILL BE FOREVER DISAPPOINTED THAT BLAKE HAS AN ENTIRE SERIES DEVOTED TO THE MCKAY-TAGGART COMPANY THAT I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO READ BECAUSE SHE PUT BDSM IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE BOOKS. Forever. Disappointed. I wanted read about Case and how he got together with Mia. I wanted to read about Case’s scary older brother. I wanted to read about Adam, the freaking hacker guy that was in Ruthless for like three pages when he was on the phone with Riley! And now it’s never going to happen. Sigh. Favorite Part(s): Every time there was a honest and communicative conversation between two characters. For a book about lies and deceit, manipulation and thievery, Blake incorporated quite a few serious and honest conversations between characters—between Ellie and Riley, Ellie and Bran, Drew and Riley. These conversations were very well done. They moved the plot along; they revealed character and subsequent development; they forced characters to genuinely communicate! For all that was planned to take down Castalano, none of it would’ve occurred had the Lawlesses as well as Ellie communicated with each other.
And of course, I loved the female empowerment I got from Blake’s writing. It deserved another mention. Final Thoughts: Ruthless was a pleasant surprise! Even though I have a massive to-read list, I was just browsing around Overdrive and thought I’d give this a shot. I am super happy that I did. The book had romantic suspense without the hardcore alpha/military stuff, inclusion of a female CEO-type, and still a solid romance overall. I liked Blake as an author; she made all the genres that I categorized this book under work very well together. Everything was seamless and cohesive, and I very much enjoyed it. Definitely worth reading in my opinion.
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