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Dirk and Lil Hal  (Pages 7538-7542)

I present to you my first Homestuck voice project (aside from being recruited by two promptly abandoned ask blogs).

Download available here.

#ah yes. The Torture #reblog

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unsocialized gods

#thank you for the image description #fanart

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original:

unsocialized gods

#xe/xyr kramer is what inspired me here #like i saw xe/xyr kramer and thought to myself 'that is just jake english' and here we are #fanart

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unsocialized gods

#roxy lalonde #jane crocker #dirk strider #jake english #homestuck #fanart #okay sorry sorry i'm posting my backlog of garbage from twidder please forgive me i just think this is funny #i like the alpha kids so much they are sooooo messed up less than three less than three #i was trying to keep up the bit in this liveblog where i pretended to not know characters until they were introduced but i got too excited #humor me in the liveblog posts okay. i will commit to the bit

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slowly but surely gathering the energy to start on act 2 of my reread and subsequent liveblog posts. if you're into that sorta thing

#get excited for rose lalonde!

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many selves are worse than one

#dirk strider #ult dirk #ultimate dirk #homestuck #fanart #imagine choosing to call yourself something so lame as 'ultimate [name]' how embarrassing #what are you ultimate at. being cringe #[danganronpa splash art] DIRK STRIDER: ULTIMATE CRINGELORD

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iterations on a theme

#vriska serket #vriska #homestuck #fanart #vrisket my beloved

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master studies

#dirk strider #homestuck #fanart

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FOUR DIRKS stand in an ANTECHAMBER.

#dirk strider #theatre of coolty #homestuck #fanart #i suppose i'll post my inane fanart here as well #i initially wanted to draw things as i reread but things just happen y'know. it keeps hapening #anyway. i finally watched all of nakedbee's adaptations so expect some detective pony nonsense too at some point #acorn nickered as if to say [VILE SLURS OMITTED] etc etc

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#7: END OF ACT 1

KM: the predestination shit really was there from the beginning of the comic. wowie

AG: yeah it really feels that way huh

AG: Mom lalonde is like "my daughter's gonna need internet for this"

KM: SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY...

AG: bite the apple!! BITE THE APPLE JOHN

AG: also considering Eve was the first to bite into the fruit of knowledge there's some transgender shenanigans there

KM: june egbert REAL

KM: END OF ACT 1! WE DID IT!

KM: and thusly i end tonight's story time with a lovely desert landscape. who knows what lies beyond the sandy dunes...

AG: specially from the start, homestuck is such a cozy read

KM: if i didn't already know the deal with the exiles i'd be losing my shit. i can't imagine what it was like to have this update in real time

AG: it really felt like anything could happen at anytime

KM: i suppose i'm thankful to not have experienced that, especially as the story got more and more hostile to the audience

AG: I was never really a part of the fandom proper so I didn't really get any of Hussie's microaggressions

AG: still don't. Bliss

KM: then we both dodged a bullet! look at us!

AG: :D

KM: it's a lot of fun rereading it knowing what comes next. like i'm finally able to pick apart things i missed before

AG: yeah homestuck really blossoms with rereads

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #act 1

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#6: ACT 1

KM: OH GOD NO

KM: cool as a fuckin cucumber i dare say

KM: "help TT there's a meteor heading towards my house!!!"

KM: "Hmm. Curious!"

KM: i WARNED you man i TOLD you dawg

KM: good job TT dad egbert will surely never notice

KM: PAGE 214 GIVE IT UP FOR PAGE 214

KM: i wish the musical instruments were a recurring thing throughout the story. like all the beta kids have them and then like. nothing comes of it afaik

KM: yeah i think rose just misinterprets her mom's intentions to always be mocking even when they're not. emotional neglect is a helluva drug

AH: Yeah everything Rose’s mom does is just. Well-meaning but absolutely batshit over-the-top stuff and a drinking problem, and Rose goes, ah yes, my mother hates me, this is a mind game

KM: rose's mom is FAST jesus christ. i'd be scared too!

KM: SOPPING FUCKING WET

KM: only somewhat. alright then!

KM: credit where it's due hussie really did wonders with such minimal animation. very good sense of motion despite the few frames

KM: this is suppsoed to be iOS isn't it

AG: I think its closer to being macos but yeah

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #act 1

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#5: ACT 1

KM: fuckin. LMAO. "i put it there for the vibes john you wouldn't get it"

AH: "I'm so mature ❤️ also haha bathtub go across house"

KM: yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

AG: FIRST ACT IS GOOD

KM: YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

AH: AJHFJKDGH

AG: FAFDAFDS

KM: GOD he really thinks all his friends are joking!

AH: yeah it's 😬

AH: now that I'm seeing this again

AH: wonder if THAT'S why John thinks his dad sucks

AH: all his friends since he was a kid are like "my parent is horrible to me" or Dave who's like "my bro is awesome"(and obviously is not) and John is just like-- yeah! kids my age hate their parents! my dad sucks! that's normal!

KM: LITERALLY YES THAT'S IT

AH: hell yeah cracked the code

AH: I always wondered why lmfao

AH: by god

AH: little sweet boy with a sweet father thinking other parents are sweet like him and it's normal to rag on them

AH: John: "my dad PRANKS me it's SO HORRIBLE"

AH: John: has no irl friends but SO much pranking supplies and obviously loves pranks and probably pranks his dad back

KM: tbf i also didn't know the "standards" of parenthood until i went to a public middle school so it's definitely a symptom of a sheltered life. both on john's front and dave's. cus dave also thinks his situation is normal. at least rose has some sense

AH: yea

AH: Rose kinda seemed to parent herself which yeah that personality kinda comes about from that sorta situation

KM: exactly. she also seems to be logged on far more than the others

KM: beyond hobby stuff i should say. or well. one of her hobbies is psychoanalyzing people so i suppose the need for answers prompted a hobby

AH: yea def

AH: also possible rose got therapy

AH: her mom cares and is very rich but does Not know how to parent

KM: yes this makes sense as well

AH: probably got Rose in therapy and Rose prolly understood her situation better but then also assumed all of the stuff that was done out of well-meaning (the pillow embroidery and solidifying a gifted vacuum into gold) was some sorta mind-game

AH: my thought process is that she was in therapy for some time long enough to pick up some lingo but not long enough to work enough out

AG: I think Rose was among the only one of them with a chance at having a social life outside of internet shenanigans too

KM: i like to think dave went to public school but was so fuckin weird that no one bothered to actually get to know him

KM: john has homeschool vibes. rose has prep school vibes. jade has no school vibes

AH: yes to all

AG: yep accurate

KM: yes... yes........ it is a new game, perhaps that's it......................... . . . . . . .

AH: 😨

KM: lads. the shit is beginning to truly go down

AH: it's habbening

KM: kernalsprite. motherfuckin. deployed.

KM: they're so fucking cute ugh

KM: men_excitedly_pointing.jpg

KM: i'm sure it's nothing to worry about

KM: um

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #act 1

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#4: ACT 1

KM: god i wish that were me

KM: the people who can't handle the early acts are cowards this sylladex stuff is hilarious. also intensely interesting

KM: CARNAGE AND VIOLENCE AND GOOFS AND GAFFS

KM: the purple text speaks in riddles not even our protagonist can parse

AG: yesss it does I love the early acts!!

KM: sburban jungle also smacks. act 1 rules actually

KM: god TT really does just know what's going on right from the get go. if i'm recalling things correctly there are other people on earth who play the game but the only successful session to enter is the beta kids'. because TT reads and then subsequently updates the gamefaq that exists. speaking of the sburb gamefaq [Sburb Glitch FAQ] that's one of my chosen canon fanworks. along with others i shall elaborate on later

KM: well wait. there are other adults who play the game too. other dads. i need to read on more i think

KM: points at the text and jeers SLUR SLUR YOU USED A SLUR

KM: y'know. this is never really answered either. how tragic

KM: i forgot john thought his dad was a street performer. john. he does this all for YOU. silly billy

AH: ;_; he just loves his son

KM: once again, TT stands for The Torture

AG: Rose is so goddamn funny

KM: IT BEGINS. THE TORTURE.

KM: lmaoooooo this first act truly does set the stage huh. god she's so funny TT i love you

KM: and people say TT is the smart one. i have to laugh

AH: shes the kid who thinks shes a grownup and like, is absolutely not

AH: "i'm mature for my age" girl you're traumatized

AG: I used to relate to TT a lot when I was younger. Still kinda do in that I kinda acted like her when I was younger

KM: i did too. felt easier to pretend to know everything. obviously it wasn't

KM: i love this shit. it's adorable. it's naive. and above all, it breaks my heart.

AG: Jade 🥺

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #canon fanwork #act 1

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#3: ACT 1

KM: oh thank god. well that was a short reread! glad he's no longer stuck at home!

KM: CECI N'EST PAS UNE SOLEIL. aw shit yall

KM: i would reckon he never quite finds the thing he's missing, even after everything. i'll have to think more about this page (82) and come back to it. i have a feeling it's going to be a long day

KM: the track "showtime" smacks. a good first strife song betwixt dad and john!

KM: okay so here we have, amidst an earworm of a battle theme, a loving father presenting his child with a freshly baked birthday cake. he has proudly hung up a drawing by said child on the fridge. child wields a hammer and feels threatened. is this justified?

KM: MAYBE

KM: godspeed you maniac. i'll see you in therapy

KM: how curious that he wears the visage of something that has caused him so much grief. how does one wear one's trauma on their sleeve? surely not literally, that'd be ridiculous. right? ...right?

KM: gardenGnostic enters the game on page 110! contrary to popular belief, GG does not stand for "good game", it stands for "git gud"

KM: right right god forbid we let the mask slip huh TG

KM: me on april 13th, 2019, and then october 25th, 2019

KM: me screaming crying throwing up teaching myself python oof ow ouch it burns

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #act 1

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#2: ACT 1

KM: i still love this image he looks so silly

KM: this has it all. wasted time. stuck at home. TG clockwork refrance. TG horse refrance. this is what the refrance. THIS is what homestuck is about

KM: realizing that going into this much detail will cause my reread/liveblog to take me a very long time. months. years even. goddamn

KM: love wins. also, TT stands for "The Torture" in my mind. remember this

AH: heres how davejohn can still win

KM: i also find it amusing that the characters never refer to each other by screenname at all ever once the audience sees their names. just like real internet friendship i guess

KM: woah really? tell me more

KM: if regular non-sburb 13 year olds can allocate their strife specibus with actual weapons and/or dangerous tools i wonder what public school is like

KM: the more things change the more they stay the same

KM: egbert does not fuck around

AG: that's just striaght-up an ign parody

KM: i always thought the clown i mean harlequin decorating was excessive but then i went into my next door neighbor's office and the entire room is circus themed so like. dad egbert realistic salaryman

KM: imagine the first thing you do upon simply LOOKING at your grandmother's ashes is spill them all over the place. this kid is so stupid <2

KM: sniffles. hi dad

KM: tentacleTherapist shows off her purple text on pg63. shit's getting real

KM: interesting. why WOULD she know that, i wonder? she probably just knows her friend so well, that's certainly it

KM: i'm sorry what the fuck? i don't remember this at ALL is this mentioned literally ever again

KM: actually wait this is egbert thinking his dad is out to get him again when he was absolutely keeping the peanuts in the office to specifically avoid keeping them in the kitchen where they could contaminate other food. oh my god misinterpretation station

KM: well. surely john won't continue to be needlessly suspicious of his father who only loves him more than anything in the world. surely not

KM: the haunting piano refrain just comes outta nowhere lmao. flex those skills john

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #act 1

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#1: ACT 1

KM: alright. my friends. my romans. my countrymen. shall we begin?

KM: right off the bat page 4 i have a thought. does john ever actually do any coding at all

AG: he does!! You'll see later on

AG: well, kinda

KM: i see... there's so much i've forgotten...

KM: and this continues throughout the comic, to everyone's dismay

KM: based on how many people mispronounce "strife specibus" to this day i shall look upon the second sentence with an air of "yeah okay sure why not"

KM: me learning windows 10 tbh

KM: i love how the whole sylladex fiasco is caused by the fact that john seemingly does not have arms

KM: until... he does................

KM: john. obama has been in office for 3 months at this point c'mon buddy

KM: this is what linux looks like to me

KM: i'm also realizing that ~ATH exists in the beta kids' universe too. i thought it was exclusive to the trolls this whole time until right now wtf

KM: turntechGodhead enters the fray on pg26. TG also stands for "The Gauntlet" in my mind

KM: clasps my hands and nods sagely

KM: love the implication that no other human other than jane (i think she has a tire swing too) counts as a "real kid" by this logic. john and jane do have the most "normal" upbringings by a long shot so i suppose this counts as foreshadowing

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #act 1

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HOMESTUCK LIVEBLOG 2022: THE RECKONING: THE INTRO POST

three and a half years is long enough to justify a reread, i think.

first and foremost: i am simply having fun here do not harsh my vibe.

secondly: i'm using the Unofficial Homestuck Collection for this reread, which is cool and awesome and preserves the flash elements perfectly.

A BRIEF READING KEY:

KM = me

AH, AG, more tbd = the peanut gallery

i also post fanart here

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog