#watch things. blah. its all annoying. be quiet brain. hush.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

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#i am plagued. plagued by thoughts lmao #its not funny. its distressing and i want them to stop #its worse when im around people a lot. like when im by myself my brain is more contained #but when im around ppl my brain is like: how do u like this?! behold *upsetting thoughts* #and im like. ya kno. i dont like that. i dont like that at all. pls stop that #im just tired. i got invited to go hiking but then there was a train in the way so we went to the zoo instead #and it was fun but it also was probably slightly too much. like i dont know how to describe #it pushed my boundaries a bit more than anticipated. bc my brain is annoying and freaks out at stupid things #and the situation overlaps with an old situation and gives me stress dreams #the point is i would like my brain to stop sending me upsetting thoughts #pls be normal. thsts all i ask. #ah i think that thing i said wasnt quite true. i dont think the thoughts get worse around ppl its just that theyre different #like ppl directed thoughts r more upsetting to me than alone directed thoughts. bc those r just like extremely annoying and mostly dont #actually make me upset. its more like someone yaking my hair every so often rather than someone grabbing me by the hair and forcing me to #watch things. blah. its all annoying. be quiet brain. hush. #hhhh i need to get professional help lmao. maybe next year. maybe maybe #i dont even know where to start with that #unrelated