Kellogg's has been hit hard by Woke Mob. Here's a list of changes to their cereal marketing that we've been demanding:
-The "Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs" slogan is to be revised to "I'm mentally ill/neurodivergent for Cocoa Puffs."
-Lucky Charms' leprechaun mascot, Patty O'Hatecrimes, must be changed to a normal Irish man who is critical of the british monarchy.
-Tony the Tiger and the Trix Bunny are now a T4NB couple, to cater to the furry audience.
-Fruity Pebbles can no longer use Fred Flintstone as a mascot, after his association with Winston Cigarettes was rediscovered. Consider using Jane Jetson as a substitute, to go for the Girlboss angle.
-In addition, we can't call the pebbles "Fruity" anymore.
-Captain Crunch is to be renamed to Draft Dodger Crunch
-Snap, Crackle, and Pop MUST become drag queens. more than anything else on this list, this one is non-negotiable.
Brother Gregor never spoke and often spooked the neophytes with his appearance, but he was a gentle soul and a phenomenal cook and knew more ways to prepare a fish than the abbot knew hymns
you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy
Grandmas were so right about puzzles and knitting and crocheting and solitaire and reading slow and slippers and baking and watching deer in the backyard send post