#we would also play on neopets during class on the shitty school laptops. the ones with the nubbins instead of touchpads.

[angerissue]

Anonymous asked... Your Bruce Banner is BRILLIANT. Click here to send me something!

Sorry for taking so long to respond to this! I've been going back and forth on what to say, because it was so nice to see this in my inbox, and I wanted to reply properly. I'm not an innately confident writer, and because of the chilly reception that adaptations like this usually get on tumblr, there are often occasions where I wonder if I'm writing Bruce well. Sometimes my assurance disappears. But messages like yours are super encouraging, so thank you.

I've been writing for a long time. I've had one or two things published, but nothing substantial, and certainly not novellas or novels. I remember when I first took a real interest in writing stories, and my characters were absolutely terrible, haha. My first original character was based on a book for young readers about dragons (who could assume human form) and people. In this book, there was a teen girl who had dragon wings. I can't remember the name of the book, but I used like 90% of the character's traits for my first OC, and I didn't really put much thought into it beyond this. Call it a product of me being ten years old, but the OC was goofy and corny, and my writing was beyond dramatic, holy smokes... But at least it formed a great foundation for what not to do, moving forward.

When I was in high school, I took an immediate liking to English class. Digging into media and writing essays was very enjoyable for me! Some of the material felt too simplistic, like a deeper meaning couldn't be derived from it, but I still really loved looking for metaphors and nuance in different texts, and devising different ways to present my findings, and sometimes bullshit them from scratch. I jumped headfirst into AP English soon after that. I particularly remember the assignments for Kafka's "The Metamorphosis", and Swift's "A Modest Proposal", which were pretty strange and surreal texts, but they were fascinating!

(That is the kind of literature I love to encounter. Things that are "out there", that make you think, that have something to say about certain topics, and that leave a lasting impression.)

During this time, I picked up a few other OCs, including some that were inspired by my lucid dreams and the film "Avatar" (2008). I also loved analyzing and discussing films that I'd watched, and I became more and more interested in "character study bait" films, including "Hunger" (2008), "Taxi Driver" (1976), and "American Psycho" (2000). The more focus that a film had on a character, the more I liked exploring it and looking for details. "Breaking Bad" was absolutely captivating to me because of all the colour palette and script choices. And certain characters jumped out at me as well, such as Jesse Pinkman, Wikus Van De Merwe, Tony Stark, and Jake Sulley, who all received varying amounts of attention in fics.

Bruce Banner was another character who really stood out, when I finally decided to give him a chance. My first exposure to him was "The Incredible Hulk" (2008), and even after that single film and its somewhat anemic script, I noticed there was a lot going on with him, and I wanted to explore it. It helped that he was a science fiction character too, because that is my favourite genre, and that I'd always been a sucker for werewolf and monster tropes. I hadn't even gotten into the comics yet or learned about his family life (that happened shortly before I graduated), but I was already so invested in him! And it snowballed from there.

I think it's the combination of my keen interest in Bruce and my love for analysis that has resulted in this portrayal. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I like to think he's still recognizable, and he is very much the same character. He was simply given different options from canon, and he's developed accordingly. But he's never wandered too far from his roots. Everything about this portrayal can be traced back to something I've seen, somewhere, in canon.

I'm also deeply proud of my decision to make this portrayal exceptionally self-aware about the psychology of trauma. I put a very heavy emphasis on how trauma informs someone's decisions throughout their life, which canon has rarely bothered to dissect (the comics on occasion, and the Marvel Cinematic Universe only like, once). I've said it before, but Bruce is often depicted and handwaved as "yet another superhero" and is often dumped into the "superhero genre", which is conflated with formulaic, flashy popcorn flicks. I try to write him deeper than that, and more well-rounded. I've never been a fan of shying away from gritty, dark, or personal shit, because it can often be very revealing and insightful, especially for a character like Bruce. I also feel like this makes him a more accessible character to someone who doesn't necessarily like the MCU or Marvel. If all of the "bam, pow, superheroes and capes and high stakes" stuff takes a break, and the painfully human aspects can shine through more, it humanizes him that much more. I think that's part of the reason the television show and Ruffalo's performance in "The Avengers" was so well-received.

(But this is all just my opinion.)

So thanks again, anonymous! I'm really happy to hear you like the direction I've taken him.

I have many other messages in my inbox, including some old ask memes. I'm slowly working through them. Thanks for your patience, everyone.

#( out of control. ) #( answered. ) #anonymous #thanks for sending this! and sorry for the insanely long delay. 💖 #that dragon book was my favourite thing as a kid... on top of the warrior cats series. #i also remember when i was back in junior school... my friend and i always pretended to be dragons. #we hid under our desks and snarled and roared at each other lmao. in front of all our classmates. #we would also play on neopets during class on the shitty school laptops. the ones with the nubbins instead of touchpads. #it was awesome. and embarrassing but i have no regrets. #this friend was also the person who got me into warriors. #it's funny to think that series is reviled on tumblr because it has 'bad things' in it... #because when i was a kid? i had zero problems with it. i wasn't impressed upon by the 'bad stuff' at all lol. #but yeah that is my commentary on silly tumblr shenanigans for the day.