#we're all fictives of the same guy so it's less weird than it could be but even still

[thethingything]

hmm I could work on art, or I could play video games, or I could work on trying to process whatever the fuck our brain did earlier (merging), and that last one is probably the sensible options but I still feel really weird and I'm not sure I'm up for diving into some potentially messy emotional stuff

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #fusion mention #see the thing is we're aiming for functional multiplicity and we don't intend to fuse deliberately #the idea of fusing kind of freaks us out too much for us to ever actually want to do that #but at the same time we'd kind of accepted that some alters might fuse but we'd never knowingly experienced it #and thinking about it as a hypothetical is a very different thing to actually experiencing it #because like oh okay now I'm all three of these people but I'm one guy #I'm me but I'm also all of them and I have all their thoughts and feelings and memories and that's really weird #I'm still using 🍬 as my tag because I'm still the same guy but I'm like. more. I don't know how to describe it #we're all fictives of the same guy so it's less weird than it could be but even still #we're one guy but sometimes more one or the other but still very much the same person #like how you act different and feel like a different person in different scenarios but it's still you #that but those different forms of being you are the alters that merged together? #I kind of like it? but I also feel really weird because it's fucked up my sense of identity? I don't know how to feel about it #we definitely don't want to merge the whole system but I maybe wouldn't mind merging with more fictives of my source #that's a big maybe. I think at least some of the fragments? if they were cool with it. maybe I'd freak the hell out and hate it #the other two were fragments I think? it'd maybe feel different if they weren't fragments #like if it was Sylvain or Cypress. then again we regularly forget Sylvain is even a fictive #wait shit have I mentioned Cypress being a double before? his name's Seb but he picked Cypress to use on here and it kind of stuck #anyway yeah this is a big mess of thoughts and I'm not really sure what I'm doing ahdjkkjlfkll #vent post