#well its not fast enough. and also tooooo many steps. everything too many steps.

[clown-femme]

I kind of resent when other adhd people talk about hyperfocus only because I'm jealous that I don't do that. I WISH I could zero in and stay focused on one task at a time. Can you imagine. I can't even do that with things I like.

That said I am also annoyed when people misuse the term hyperfocus to just mean 'the thing I'm into right now' but that is Beside the point

#i think my Heavy depression makes it hard for me to get the brain chemical response needed for the adhd brain employees to go 'mm yummy' #'more of this please' and make me lock into focus #i think there is a factory between my ears and there are two departments that are at odds #and one is my depression and the other is the adhd #and the depression has halted production of dopamine. it cut funding on serotonin and dopamine because of my life's conga line of misfortune #and the adhd side is like. goddamn we need some dopamine bad. we are going to try to do everything at once to get some. 87 tabs. #14 rps going on at once. three songs stuck in head. click teeth together too. #we are NOT touching a single thing that doesnt help the dopamine machine make more dopamine for us so cut all other activities. work??? well #work is hard. actually most things are hard. and they take too many steps. now i know things like our hobbies Might produce dopamine but #well its not fast enough. and also tooooo many steps. everything too many steps. #sit on couch and 87 tabs just enough steps. #this has to be the case until we can get enough dopamine from anything at all to want to linger on an activity #and then back to depression #where its like. see?? look. we dont do anything and we hate ourselves. we cant make ourselves do things that we like or dislike. #this is why we cant have dopamine or serotonin. #and then i am left on the outside unable to focus on my work or my writing or even on fun things like rp #sorry for wall of tags

[thehereticaldeserthermit]

ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟 ℙ𝕣𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕥𝕤

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How do they feel about people shorter/taller than them?

Gra likes it when other beings are shorter than him, he’d hesitate to admit it but its a tick linked to his Conquering days. 

What are they like on social media? 

None. He has no time for such frivolities. He has a never ending list of things to do. 

Their sexuality?

Chemistry. That’s his sexuality, he is attracted to whom he is attracted to. For the sake of RP and not pigeon holing him into the ONE ship that’s obvious, I voted to write him as bi-sexual, er I mean -skeKSis and all, also polyamorous, multi-shipper with all parties concerned consent. 

Preferred weather?

Heat. Gra does NOT like the cold, it was torture for him skulking about under that throne room in Har’rar, laying down the riddle of Lore for some clever gelfling to find. Much too cold for a desert vulture’

He cannot resist a thunderstorm. He adores watching, listening, smelling and feeling rain. To him its the purist cleanse Thra can offer. 

What’s their sleeping schedule?

It is all over the place. Oftentimes he stays up late into the night working on one task or another. His hyper fixation, his passion drives him and he loses track of time a little too easily.

Favorite music?

All. Especially when urGoh sings and or does a ceremonial drumming when they are in shamanic trance. 

How’s their cooking?

If you value your life   do not   eat anything this skeKSis cooks! 

He has an annoying habit of setting kitchens on FIRE. 

It’s movie night, what movie do they pick?

Something funny or an adventure for sure but he would not say no when you picked a romantic movie, secretly he’d enjoy it. 

How would they hold up in a pillow war?

He’d Conquer. 

What’s their sleeping position?

Asleep at his desk, face planted on his latest project. If he makes it to his bed he prefers to sink into a nest of pillows and his favorite fur blanket. Fair warning, he is prone to hogging the bed, stealing blankets, snoring loudly and sleeping -perfectly at peace-      on top of you. YOU  are  pillow.  ♥

Who do they go to for comfort?

Himself. He is used to being  a l o n e. 

He will turn inwardly, process and take an analytical approach to what ever it was that happened. 

urGoh would more than likely be the first choice. 

However, urVi is giving the other mystic a run for his money! 

Something small that they enjoy?

Blushes. He likes to collect them. He is quite keen upon appreciating little things others could give two shits less about. 

How do they feel about physical contact by others?

He craves it! He is annoyingly affectionate. When he is enamored with someone, he wants to be in close proximity of them. Expect lots of skeKSis kisses, licks, nibbles and nuzzles. He has no qualms holding your hand. He would adore nudging his foot against yours, playing footsies. He will sneak up behind you, whisper promises in your ear, wrap his arms around you.  Expect lot’s of kisses. Impromptu massages and the inevitable playful tickle fight. Gra experiences a lot through ‘touch’ and he is good with his hands, so if he cannot keep them off of you -yah got him gooOOoD’

What is enough to bring them to tears?

The idea that nothing on Thra will change or evolve. Staying the same until everything has been destroyed. 

Failing Unity.

Break his heart. 

Biggest pet peeve?

Liars.

He tends to give beings the benefit of the doubt, a chance or two but if it becomes a habitual turn of events ... ... 

How well do they take care of themselves?

He tends to be quite clean most of the time, favoring a dip in the grotto or a desert oasis, eating regular meals, staying hydrated. BUT he can get so fixated on a task, hyper focused that urGoh has to step in and ground him. When did you last eat? How many hours of sleep did you get? Drink some water skekGra before you keel over. I can FEEL your exhaustion and its making me nauseated. 

What’s something they like that may be surprising to others?

He’s super romantic and would rather no one know -until its too late. Ha!

Do they consider others family?

Yes, friends are family to him. 

Any bad habits that they have?

He is very high-strung and sometimes it is hard for him to wind down, de-stress and relax. 

What’s their idea of a perfect vacation?

Tropical beach! White sand, turquoise water, shells and stones to collect. Meals shared, splashing water in your general direction within the waves, afternoon naps on a blanket, falling asleep at night staring at a sky full of stars and the Three Sisters, a plethora of cuddles, a bonfire while listening to the tide come in. Poor bloke needs a vaca he’s been working tooooo hard. 

Do they get lost easily? Will they ask for directions if they are?

He has a good sense of direction a leftover flourish from his Conquering days. He’s been here and there, planting little seeds of truth in just the right places, so coordinates are important to him. IF he did get lost, he’d ask.

The strangest thing they have ever seen?

That Unity Vision, oh and his life flashing before his very eyes when the coffin nail was driven into the bone of his skull when his fellow brethren rejected his warnings.

How well do they accept advice?

He listens. He’s very headstrong and quite stubborn. Once he’s made his mind up on a matter there is little you can do to sway it. Oftentimes he is the one others come to for sagely advice and or guidance. 

How much do they swear?

Quite a bit. FAAACK is his favorite.

How do they take advice given to them?

Takes it in and decides on how to process it. He pauses and thinks it through but he is prone to being passionately rash, should the advice arrive just a snippet too late it becomes null’ 

Do they like being in pictures?

Yes, gaze upon the wonder and all that stuff. 

Is there anything they’re bad at?

Burning himself out. He will trail-blaze until he hits a wall of complete exhaustion. 

What’s their morning schedule?

Wake n’ Bake upper special. A strong tea. Light break of the fast and lets get to work!

Find The Shard Of Division ✔️

Forge The Dual Glaive ✔️

Separate And Systematically Gift Weapon Of skeKSis Devastation  ✔️

Create Rock Son + Secretly Stash Under Throne Room ✔️

Enchant skeKSIs Law book w/ TRUTH riddle for clever gelfling to find ✔️

Write History Of Thra, Create Puppet Show, Plan The Surprise! ✔️

SelfLove ✔️

Any past injuries?

The branding nail. Various cuts and scrapes from his Conquering days have left faint scars upon his flesh seemingly from another lifetime ago.

Something that disgusts them?

Creatures who live on foundations of lies and keen manipulators. 

#𝕊𝕦𝕣𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕖 𝕀𝕥𝕤 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕 ℂ𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟 ℕ𝕠𝕨 #||| Just for FUN |||