#and then back to depression

[clown-femme]

I kind of resent when other adhd people talk about hyperfocus only because I'm jealous that I don't do that. I WISH I could zero in and stay focused on one task at a time. Can you imagine. I can't even do that with things I like.

That said I am also annoyed when people misuse the term hyperfocus to just mean 'the thing I'm into right now' but that is Beside the point

#i think my Heavy depression makes it hard for me to get the brain chemical response needed for the adhd brain employees to go 'mm yummy' #'more of this please' and make me lock into focus #i think there is a factory between my ears and there are two departments that are at odds #and one is my depression and the other is the adhd #and the depression has halted production of dopamine. it cut funding on serotonin and dopamine because of my life's conga line of misfortune #and the adhd side is like. goddamn we need some dopamine bad. we are going to try to do everything at once to get some. 87 tabs. #14 rps going on at once. three songs stuck in head. click teeth together too. #we are NOT touching a single thing that doesnt help the dopamine machine make more dopamine for us so cut all other activities. work??? well #work is hard. actually most things are hard. and they take too many steps. now i know things like our hobbies Might produce dopamine but #well its not fast enough. and also tooooo many steps. everything too many steps. #sit on couch and 87 tabs just enough steps. #this has to be the case until we can get enough dopamine from anything at all to want to linger on an activity #and then back to depression #where its like. see?? look. we dont do anything and we hate ourselves. we cant make ourselves do things that we like or dislike. #this is why we cant have dopamine or serotonin. #and then i am left on the outside unable to focus on my work or my writing or even on fun things like rp #sorry for wall of tags

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

The funny thing about the PJO cabin system is that everyone's always all 'oh the twelve' this and 'the twelve' that but that's absolutely not even remotely accurate. To start, right off the bat it's thirteen, not twelve, because they don't count Hades. But not really because before Percy, there were no big three kids, so we're down to ten active cabins already but it's actually eight because Artemis and Hera don't make demigods.

And of those eight, Mr. D is stuck at camp (thus not really making new demigods all that often) and his only two kids don't even sleep in a cabin, they sleep in the Big House with him.

So, pre-Percy, there are seven active cabins at Camp Half-Blood:

Glee club, the Jocks, the Nerds, the Geeks, the Farmers, the 'Sketchy Kids' and the Popular Kids.

Or, in other words, the Apollo, Ares, Athena, Hephaestus, Demeter, Hermes (and the unclaimed kids) and Aphrodite cabins.

What's cool is that you can already see the cabin dynamics in the show. For example, the Athena cabin allies with the Hermes cabin for the numbers. The Hermes kids plus all the unclaimed kids? It's the biggest cabin in the camp by far. It's a battle strategy. Luke and Annabeth's close relationship is just the cherry on top for Annabeth. It'll be really cool to see how the show develops the differences in the cabins during the series.

#pjo tv show #pjo series #if i remember correctly it's the Hermes cabin then Ares and Apollo in terms of numbers. Aphrodite would probably be next. #but the Athena Hephaestus and Demeter cabins were always under twelve kids. #they state exact numbers in one book... and if you don't want spoilers turn back now #but after the war theres only three Hephaestus kids left so like.... the numbers go real fucking low #the entire camp population plummeta #iactually really fucking depressing watching this camp filled with small tiny children knowing that only a very small fraction of themlive

[minbinchan]

<3

#stray kids #bystay #staysource #createskz #staydaily #kpopccc #usersa #staytay #dreamytag #userbeepls #usertsu #usersemily #cheekyuser #bitsforkitts #melontrack #*mine #ot8 #sorry for the depressing post under this. we're back to our usual programming. i'll go to bed tho so gn

[lotus-pear]

"dazai would princess carry chuuya" "dazai would hold chuuya bridal style" no shutup dazai would pick chuuya up like he's a sopping wet kitten or a sack of potatoes

#its his love language to sling chuuya across his shoulder like a prized trout he just caught #skk height difference comin in clutch when dazai can hoist chuuya off the ground and dangle him in the air #and chuuya can bite and hiss and scream like a cat but his feet won't touch the ground #also sorry for not posting for the past month i got depression🥰 #dw i'm back now #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #soukoku #skk #lotus draws

[ivynotpoisonous]

Bears are so right about hibernation

#bear cub #cold winter #im crying #winter depression #gone with the wind #i hate winter #winter #coldness #cold weather #i'm cold #december #someone help #helpme #please help #help #i hate cold weather #i miss summer #i want summer back #let me hibernate #i want to hibernate #i need to hibernate

[charlottan]

have always hated when people are like "stories are supposed to crush u👿" "media is supposed to comfort u☺️" why are there people trying to prescribe art. something famously known for its very consistent style format background intent and audience

#i read a thing for annotation howework for a language arts class in high school about how good art makes you feel depressed or something #and i got so angry i annotated so much i ran out of space and had to write on the back of the page about how ridiculous of a thing it was #to say

[sticksandsharks]

Stormhead

a print for the INHIBIT: BOOK 2 Kickstarter!! I got to draw Victor, the anxious sadboy protagonist 🌩️😢

INHIBIT is a comic about troubled teens with superpowers, written and drawn by my brilliant friend @evegwood. they are soooo close to their goal, let's nudge them over that finish line!!

#inhibit #comic #webcomic #kickstarter #gogogo back them I already did and I want my big chunky book about depressed kids

[kkoct-ik]

can you watch them while i go eat

#kostik draws #ah... my ocs #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #gtwscar #grian #fanart #hermitcraft #hermitcraft fanart #hermitshipping #im happy im so back #i genuinely worried i wouldnt be able to draw like i used to after this depressive trauma resurgence episode #but im so back!! #now give me attention

[gascreates]

^^ infectious

#i now desire to read sickfics #this is an old sketch that i colored cuz i was dying to feel productive #depression and executive dysfunction are joining forces against me #i fight back by finishing something fast so i can feel accomplished for a bit #then maybe i can work on the bigger pieces/comics i want to get through #or maybe *gasp* work on a FIC #wouldn't that be crazy #atla #zuko

[terr-hedgehog]

new plushia just dropped

#back from the dead #just got over post concert depression #lmao not really it's still there but anyway #the band ghost #ghost band #ghost the band #ghost #ghost bc #papa emeritus #papa emeritus 4 #papa emeritus IV #papa 4 #papa iv #cardinal copia #plushia #tobias forge #digital art #the band ghost fanart #fanart #ghost fanart #nameless ghoul #deinogalerix content #1k #2k #3k

[noname-404s-blog]

#im tryin so hard #im trying #im sad as fuck #im useless #im crying #and heartbreak image #heartbreak #depressing quotes #tw depressing stuff #depressing shit #sadcore #depressing life #sad thoughts #im tryin my best #want you back #come back to me #tell me #everything is fine #sad aesthetic #sad af #i need therapy #i need heeeeelp #life is unfair #life suuuuucks #life sukcs

[sunserenade]

pov: your partner is a territorial little bastard (affectionate)

#halstarion #astarion #halsin #bg3 astarion #bg3 halsin #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #i missed drawing them #i emerge from the depths of my depression to give you this before i get back to work

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt

Tim is a genius, so it’s really no surprise that he’s got the number of each batfamily member saved in his phone long before he becomes Robin.

But then Jason dies (and comes back to life) and Tim is struggling to keep Bruce alive and Dick from spiraling.

To cope with the stress of having the lives of Gotham’s two most important vigilantes depend on him he starts leaving Jason voicemails and text messages on his old number detailing progress and setbacks, fears and hopes, and the dream of finally finding somewhere he belongs. Along with the crushing realization that Tim’s own hero — Jason— is long dead.

Unbeknownst to Tim, Jason listens to and reads every single one of the messages.

#Tim’s diary consists of messages sent to a dead boy’s phone #feel like crying today? #Jason is so angry at first #but then he gets attached #so quickly #Tim just detailing his daily life #and it’s absolutely depressing #Bruce Wayne is lowkey trying to not live anymore #dick isn’t doing much better #Tim is still a child but he wants to fix things #Jason comes back early #jason todd #batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #bruce wayne #robin #Tim drake #Damian Wayne #fic #prompts #Batman #batdad #batbros #enemy to caretaker

[dungeonmechoui]

Unprofessional yuri save me.. save me unprofessional yuri.. (image description in alt text)

#cithadol #cithis #pattadol #before anyone starts clowning the prison warden is Not a teen! seems to be the fanon for some people but respectfully i Strongly Disagree #anyway back to business - anyone else started shipping them after the modern AU company meal outing comic that kui posted some time ago ? #this ship is even funnier the longer i think about it because Pattadol is not even Cithis' warden ! thats mithrun ! #i could see cithis wanting to do her 'seduce my warden' strategy twice (see her lore page) but then she gets mister depression man #so all she can do to amuse herself is focus her efforts on the other cop there as a little hobby. probably helps that pat is young & pretty #but also deeply annoying so finding ways to make her shut up and stop nagging the crew is a motivating endeavor #okay ill shut up now #dungeon meshi #just cooking my stew (art tag)

[rheakira]

Achievement Unlocked! Nihilism.

#Clover UTY #Asriel Dreemurr #UTY #UTY Spoilers #Undertale Yellow #Doodles #I just think they'd make great depressed BFFs if they got to live in the end/got their bodies back after Pacifist