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#please help

Pogubiłam się w tym co czuje. Ale to ponoć dobre, gubić się w tym wszystkim, to czasami pomaga odnaleźć siebie. Ten idealny styl, i ulubiony film, te łyżeczki cukru dodane do ulubionej herbaty, piosenka która porusza nasze serce, zwykła bluza, z którą wiąże się tak wiele. Wiecie odnalezienie harmonii i spokoju pośród burzy myśli.

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My fellow nonbinary entities, I call upon you for help, Im struggling to find a level that fits me the three I am thinking about are agender, neutrois and apogender. Here is what I do know:

- I don’t identify as male or female

-I feel very uncomfortable with my chest

- I am comfortable with they/them pronouns

-I have absolutely no freaking clue what gender is really

So I need your input, what does gender feel like/ mean to you? Because I have no idea

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Trigger warning: eating disorder

Ok, so,

I’ve always had an extremely bad body image and low self esteem (along with crippling social anxiety but that’s a whole other story). We won’t get into why blah blah childhood trauma. 

Emotional eating was a big part of this and I’m sure you can imagine the cycle of salef hatred->eat->quilt/shame->self hatred->eat etc. Started dieting at age 10, started purging at age 14. This method helped me maintain my weight but I never dropped (I was at a healthy weight btw, even if my habits were the opposite of that). At 16 I lost a ton of weight due to a severe depressive episode and just literally not caring enough to eat. I was underweight, unhealthy, never exercised, never went outside, on the verge of passing out most of the time. But I liked the way I looked. Sometimes I thought I could stand to lose more. It wasn’t the best time for me.

Then when I was 17 I tried to kill myself. Life kind of sucked for a long time after that, but I started treatment, got on medication and going to a therapist. My eating went back to the way a person should eat. Failed my matric (high school), went to a multi-course accademy and moved out of my parents house at 18, but my roommate was never around and I was really lonely and sad. Moved back in with my parents, who I don’t have a good relationship with and my depression got the better of me. I started the emotionall bingeing again but was unable to purge anymore because of a massive haitus hernia (caused by my bulimia) that made it incredibly painful for me to throw up. I gained almost 30kg in a year. 

In April 2019 I tried to kill myself again. I got put into a long term treatment programme (for depression and social anxiety, not specifically for an ED), which I began in the beggining of May. Meals were planned specifically and we had to exercise 5 days a week. I lost the weight I had gained and was the healthiest I’ve been since before puberty. 9 months later, I came home in Feb 2020. Unfortunatly I’ve had to stay with my family including my very emotionally abusive step father. In my country we were put on a mandatory 3 week lockdown, and today it’s been extended until the end of April. Being bored and also stuck with my family 24/7 has brought on my old habits. I’m trying really hard but a lot of the time I end up crying in the kitchen at 3am eating everything out of the cupboard. I don’t want to go back to the way things were, not after working so hard.

I really need some help, trying to resist the compulsion to eat isn’t working and I can’t exactly go to my therapist during lockdown. Any tips would really help me out. 

TL;DR Being stuck in quarantine with my family is causing my BED to resurface and some tips and other help would be very appreciated rn

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Did they explain in the movies about Erik’s powers being more than just metal and that it involved magnetic fields as well or did they just let him fly out of nowhere???? It’s a serious question, I really don’t remember,

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Men are d i s g u s t i n g .

Hear me out, please.

It was around a year ago. I was minding my own buissnes, when a random guy texted me on facebook. I was like, whatever, it happens, right? But after, like, 10 days of talking he asked me to be his girlfriend. I immidiatelly thought he was going to ‘lead me on’ (i was right). But I decided to play along, curious how long will he play this 'game’. And guess what. A FUCKING YEAR. Our looked basically like:

-hey

-hey

-how you doing

-fine. you

-fine

-ok, bye, love ya

So that was it. Today, a year after, he told me I was 'easy’ and that he just wanted to fuck me. (Consider the fact that i’m uderage, and he knows about it) I said that I knew he was going to do that, to which he answered with 'yea, sure’. After that, he told me that i was a 'bitch’ and a hoe, and that he has contacts and if i don’t shut the fuck up he can kill me if he only wants. Obviously bullshit, but I was already tired with the conversation and told him to just never text me again. So he decided that i’m apparently a 'coward’ and told me to 'go fuck myself’. He probably wanted to say more, but i blocked him.

I feel like i swallowed a rock. I don’t really care about the things he said, what worries me more is how many other girls did he harras like that? How many of them had no idea what they were getting into? The fact that this is one of thousands, hell, millions on this website hurts me.

Should I be angry? Should I be sad? Should I be hurt? What should I feel? What should I do?

Can someone please tell me how to make that heavy feeling disappear?

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I’m losing my girlfriend because of the stupid eating disorder… She gave me an ultimatum, her or my weight and then she have started ignore me. I don’t know what to do. Stupid ED!

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Hey Tumblr!

I am in need of some assistance! Currently my English class is discussing/reading Frankenstein and I remembered seeing the production of Frankenstein that starred Johnny Lee Miller and Benedict Cumberbatch. I’ve searched everywhere and have not been able to find a full video of it. There used to be one on YouTube but it was taken down. Can y'all help me? It doesn’t matter who is in which role (though I am partial to Miller as TC).

Please let me know if you’ve found one or have one to gift!

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Hi guys.

I don’t know what to do. I’m genuinely so scared about how much the whole coronavirus thing has effected our finances and I’ve been having panic attacks about it on the daily. I have £12 to last us to the end of the month, we’ve maxed out the credit cards, we’re running out of food, and we have bills to pay. Its humiliating to even need to ask, but I don’t know what else to do. If anyone could spare a dollar or two, I’ll genuinely owe you everything. My life. I’m selling off a bunch of stuff on depop and eBay etc. (c_hall_19 on depop for my precious Taylor merch!!) but there’s only so much that can do when everyone is also struggling with money. If you could donate anything you’re comfortable with to caitlinhall47@gmail.com on PayPal it would mean so much to us, and help me be able to afford my medication. This is the first proper home I’ve had in years. I don’t want to lose it if we can’t make rent.

Even if all you can do it share this post around a little bit, thank you so much.

Please, I’m begging.

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