#when unprompted. but if you ask me?? i'll never shut up. literally never

[aquickstart]

pls may i have some saltburn takes. i saw u liked my post abt oliver never having read the reading list and it made me giggle.

OH YES DUDE oh i Loved that post because it brings up actually something that for some reason i haven't seen discussed much. oliver's unreliable narration.

i have a brilliant, i think, genius four-question plan for making people understand saltburn, and it has worked before and i will maybe elaborate on it, but not right now. right now i'll talk about one of the questions.

who is oliver telling this story to, and why?

we've established that he's an unreliable narrator at least because it's the logical conclusion for a movie shot in a way that opens and closes with his narrative. but what does oliver being untruthful actually mean for what we know about anything and everything that happened. have you ever obsessed over this particular question. well. i have.

my hot take, first of all, is that oliver is not that smart. he's clever, but the point of the movie is that he's caught up in and driven by desire; desire, pointedly, in the moment, merging desire, adapting to circumstance and leading him on. his want is not concrete from the beginning. his want is insatiable hunger that grows.

so, okay, from the top. the whole meet-cute with felix? because of a punctured tire? eh. idk if that's true. the money thing at the bar, pretending to not have any while he actually did? eh, perhaps. chronologically he then lies to felix about his dad, and this is big, this is deliberate, this is what ties felix to him for good.

what if the first two instances were coincidences? like, felix genuinely in trouble then, oliver genuinely out of cash. makes sense to become attached and actually do something, something impulsive, drastic, when felix seems to be drifting away, and lie about his dad.

interjection: you might be saying, nadia, he lied about his family from the get-go. well of course. i didn't say he's not smart enough to clock what image of a damsel in distress felix would gobble up. i'm saying he didn't do it for the long game, because there was no long game to speak of, as narrator-oliver would have you believe. i think he wanted felix so badly in that moment of several months in oxford, i think he was so blinded that he would've said anything. and he did.

now, i've briefly talked about oliver's feelings about the invitation to saltburn, and i think this is very important here. in the moment, he couldn't possibly know what exactly this invitation could mean, in the long run, only that it is definitely the next step in progression of desire for felix. present-day oliver interjection, and i believed him, after felix said he could leave anytime, i read as a slip up, an admission that oliver didn't plan shit, or at least from the beginning he didn't. it lured him in as soon as he got there, gothic house driving mad-style. he held on to a dream of something elusive (felix as a friend? lover? forever-partner in whatever capacity? i want him so bad i don't care what he is as long as he's there? please? please?).

the other obvious hole to poke at is in the end. venetia very conveniently takes the razors he places for her, and while sure, it could be read as him just hinting at how he conveniently read her fragile state and took advantage of it, i don't buy it. (i'm honestly even tempted to suggest he met elspeth on accident, to then spin a pretty story for his own sake, but him keeping tabs on the surviving cattons all those years tracks with what we know about obsessive oliver; he's definitely known about her flat for a while.)

but those are all minor stuff. i get completely if you think i'm reading too much into it and this is all just a headcanon after all, to be fair. BUT. but.

my second big take is that oliver was/is madly in love with felix. i know, shocking. but you have probably seen people say he wasn't. i will elaborate.

i wasn't in love with him. i loved him. i hated him. what does this sound like. have you ever had a friend come to you after a breakup fuming and telling you how they'll never end up with this asshole for sure and then get back together with him and then break up and say the same thing again.

i loved him, but i wasn't in love with him. i know everyone thought i was, but i wasn't. have you never told anyone something of the sort, specifically the last part, to emphasize just how it's everyone around you that's kinda hung up on whatever it is, and you've moved way past it, actually. have you never told yourself that.

i have. i know many other people who have, too. so, who is oliver telling this story to, and why? there's no one but dead elspeth in front of him. there's no one but himself. fun fact: each time you recall an event, it distorts under the influence of the mix of past and present emotions. each time you recall, you mold memory (source, e.g., x). the way i personally see it, oliver, for whatever reason, retells the story in order to solidify his own memory of it in the way that he wants to remember it. whatever he says, this is his final word, and this is his final truth.

this is also why details slip through, like my beloved i believed him, like the emotional i hated him growing into self-convincing, misleadingly dismissive, definitely unsure i hated him by the end. those are the true emotions that he recalls, those are the times that are hard to rewrite, for whatever reason.

of course, he hated them all. but before that, he loved felix to the point of blindly following where felix's desire led oliver, at least the way oliver perceived felix's desire. it failed, crucially, when felix's desire brought them to the center of the labyrinth, where oliver could not be the desired anymore.

my third hot take in connection to this is that oliver did not know he would kill felix until the very night he did it. he didn't know it, i think, until the last hour, until felix refused to reconcile completely, until he made his blood run cold. i also briefly mention it here, specifically how farleigh is tragically connected to felix's death, in my opinion. this tracks with, again, my strong belief that oliver lies, lies and lies throughout this whole story about wanting to take everything from felix from the beginning; no, he fucking didn't. he wanted felix. he wanted felix to be his. that was number one priority. he wanted felix and whatever else came with it, undoubtedly, but not the other way around.

paradoxically, he also wanted to be felix; he wanted to be him and be with him just as us tumblr people can often relate and the tragedy is that you always have to choose. felix pushed him away, so there was no other choice but to take what was left of felix that oliver could take. hence the clothes wearing, the table scene talk, the refusal to leave.

felix chose not to choose oliver, so oliver became felix. it's his fault. felix promised oliver could leave. felix left instead. what was oliver to do.

but to your point about the books, i think it could be either way, actually. i think he could have lied about it because technically that's also in character for him, he was performing for an audience of his tutor. but i also think that he was, genuinely, a nerd before he came to oxford, and he didn't, and still doesn't, have any friends, and he hates his sisters and his mother and is miserable. he's the perfect profile of someone who'd read king james' bible over the summer, and then some, imma be honest.

so, yes. i think oliver lies about most things in saltburn and i think he's pathetic, lost, confused, grieving, angry, horny, down bad and in denial. and i fucking love him. i so fuckin do.

#saltburn #oliver quick #saltburn meta #thank u so much for ur ask. this was my excuse to finally vomit this up. #honestly i think asks are the only format in which i will actually write out all of my thoughts coherently esp the longer stuff #bc i feel obligated to answer #and when i dont i just abandon stuff. i know all my saltburn meta. vika does. finn knows ALL of it and more. i dont feel like sharing much #when unprompted. but if you ask me?? i'll never shut up. literally never #anyway. this is it. thank u again. fun. #ask #horrorsequel #saltburn journaling

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

OFF WITH YOUR HEAD

PART 2 OF HEADS WILL ROLL

SYNOPSIS: Whenever school is in session, Eren will just keep finding new places to corner you.

PAIRING: BULLY! EREN x FEM! READER

DEDICATED TO: you guys, always you guys.

WARNINGS: unedited, slight dubcon, groping, degradation, bullying,

WORD COUNT: 2.4K

Gooooood Morning Paradis Birds! Remember to give a big round of applause to the football team for clutching the victory against reigning champion Marley High! We stay undefeated thanks to our excellent and hardworking team. Special shoutout to Captain Eren Yeager for guiding the team to another flawless victory-

You're half-heartedly paying attention to class, sleepily listening to the school announcements over the speaker until the mention of his name douses you like a shock of ice-cold water.

You can't catch the rest of the announcement because your class erupts into cheer, enthusiastically clapping their hands for the boy of the hour.

The only one not joining is you.

Eren's smile is brighter than 100 kilowatts. In the back of your mind, you wonder where he learned to smile like that. When his emotions became so practiced.

Mr.Berner tries to calm the kids down, especially Sasha who bangs on her desks and howls, creating even more hype and ruckus. The class, now in a chattier mode, excitedly breaks into little conversations.

"Man, thank god. That school is so pretentious, I'm glad we finally have something over them."

"Jeez, I know our team was good, but it's this good-?"

"-Bro, year of XXXX is stacked as fuck. It's literally never been this stacked before. We have a whole team of prodigies, it's insane-especially Eren. "

"Yepp. My dad went to Paradis too and he said shit like this never happened during his time. The academic comps were one thing, but these footballs wins? We're being put on the fucking map."

The announcements are still going on, but it's hard to hear over the noise. You're only able to catch the tail end, a useless tidbit about the word of the day.

pre·mo·ni·tion a strong feeling that something is about to happen, especially something unpleasant. Here is an example: "She had a premonition of imminent disaster" Have a good day folks, hope it's free of any premonitions!

Overhearing the unceasing praise of the boy who pinched your thighs until they bruise blue and purple was a little painful-but you were used to it. After all, he's putting Paradis on the map. Whatever the fuck that means.

While you didn't love sharing this class with him, he was seated far across the room and surrounded by a gaggle of friends. You might as well have been invisible, the way he did not acknowledge you. Maybe you should treat it as a small mercy.

Unwittingly, your eyelids grow heavy. You're sitting in the back of the class, no one would notice if you took a little nap right? Assured by the fact no one will notice, you lower your head into your folded arms and let your thoughts float.

You dream of vaguely nothing but shadows of smiles, tufts of dark hair, and the smell of the wind at sea until a noise confined to the shape of your name breaks the harmony.

"[y/n?]"

"[y/n?]"

You startle awake with pairs of eyes piercing their gazes at you. Swallowing thickly, you apologize to Mr.Berner who looks worried. He's a good teacher, and one of your favorites.

"I'm sorry Mr.Berner. I had a migraine so I laid my head down." You lie smoothly, with more grace than you knew you were capable of. Course, you could have just said you were taking an unprompted nap, but that would disappoint your lovely teacher.

He sighs, "Guess that can't be helped then. Go to the nurse ok?"

Bingo. The nurse was an understanding lady, she'd let you sleep the rest of the period off. You nod, and start to gather your materials, relieved the class' attention on you was beginning to dwindle.

"Wait, Mr.Berner, let me take her. What if she gets disoriented and falls in the hall?"

Fuuuuck. You should have known. You should have expected this because attached to the request dripping with faux concern was none other than the precious jewel of the kingdom. Eren's intrusion makes your peers perk up again at the scene unfolding in front of them.

You smile, lips tightly pressed, "I'll be fine. I don't want to distract anyone from the lesson and it's a short walk-

"It's still potentially dangerous.", Your teacher interrupts, pinching the bridge of the nose, "And while I'm completely surprised by Eren's sudden streak of altruism, he's right. Something could happen. He'll take you there safely."

A very convenient streak of altruism, all right. You think it over in your head, yeah the nurses' office is right down the hall, and once you're there, he'll leave. Sure, he'll taunt you but you can handle a few minutes worth of cruelty.

It's awkward getting up, and walking in front of the class while Eren props the door open like a gentleman. You know what a sharp contrast it must look like, you and him, you cowering into yourself, not meeting any eyes while he stands tall and confident.

"Do you have everything?" His tone is one of reassurance, and for the barest of the moments, feels too familiar. You know he's not being genuine right now, and for the first time, you question if he was genuine back then.

"You can hold onto my arm if you're too dizzy to walk." He says as you guys slip out of the classroom, purposefully a little too loudly. You hear coos from girls and a stray "She's so lucky!"

He must have heard it too, because he lowers his head to whisper into your ear, "Yeah, very lucky, aren't you?" Wisps of dark hair tickle your cheeks. You see the glint of tiny silver hoops and wonder when he had gotten his ears pierced. The illusion breaks and the performative charming prince's reassuring smile is replaced by a sneer.

"Didn't know you could lie like that, by the way. Some good girl you are if you're trying to ditch class like this." Fingers dig deep into your waist as he drags you along the empty hallway that seems to stretch on for miles.

Your breath gets stuck in your throat, "How did you know I was lying?"

Viridian eyes narrow, "I've seen you get migraines before." There's a knock on your heart. As if realizing he was talking about something far away ago, a vindictive edge laces into words pouring out of his mouth, "I bet you wanted this to happen, didn't you? Wanted to get us all alone."

He's trying to get a rise out of you, that much is obvious. So you ignore him to the best of your ability.

...which quickly proved to be futile, as you suddenly find your arm pinned to your back, and your front facing the nearest walls.

"I asked you a fucking question bitch." He's practically growling, "Fucking answer me."

If there was a world record for the shortest temper, best believe Eren Yeager will have collected that accolade too. He's getting too worked up, and you could definitely feel his harness poking the back on your ass, as he grinds into you.

You manage to crane your neck, wanting to have your face shoved into the wall, and then venomously spit out, "You're not looking for answers. You just want me to repeat whatever you think is true."

This position brings back flashbacks to the library when he caged you in against the bookshelves, and like then, he spins you around to face him quite abruptly.

His smile is full of sharp teeth, "No. I know I'm right."

You don't respond. He moves in closer, his breath fanning on your earlobes. Your body can't help but let an involuntary shudder, and you close your eyes, not wanting to see his pleased grin or the way the fluorescent light makes his hoops gleam like silver bullets.

One calloused finger flicks your nipple, "Do you want to know why I'm right?"

At your lack of response, the dark-haired boy rolls your nipple in between his fingers before pinching it painfully, eliciting a small whimper out of your fuckable lips. "N-no", you answer finally. You're wearing your thinnest bra because of the seasonal heat, and you can't help but regret that decision right now. The fact he's only paying attention to one of your nipples is driving you insane. Not that you want it, but you're so fucking sensitive right now. You struggle in his hold, causing him to hold you tighter, and by now his nails were probably embedded into your skin.

He chuckles at your honesty, rewarding you with a thick stripe of his tongue over the collared shirt of your uniform making you gasp. Did he just-, over your shirt too-, you look down and see a very visible wet spot.

Taking advantage of your distracted state, a eager hand snakes under your skirt until it settles in the middle of your panties. He licks your earlobe before speaking, his voice like ice under your heels.

"You were so fucking wet that day in the library while saying you hated me the entire time," he pauses as his fingers scissor you through your panties, as if to drive the message home, "About as wet as you are right now."

There's a wet spot there too, also caused by him. You crush your eyes shut, "Eren...please just take me to the nurse." You're not even struggling anymore, holding onto him out of your own accord, worried that if you don't hold onto anything-you'd fall on your knees.

The very headache you lied about having seemed not so non-existent after all.

Eren hooks his arms under the plush of your thighs, "Yeah. Of course, that's what I came to do, right?"

*

You had hoped you'd be granted a reprieve in the nurses' office but you'd forgotten that luck was never really in your favor. Because while you guys had entered the squeaky-clean office, the nurse was nowhere in sight.

Instead, a note sat on her desk in unassuming frilly cursive that Eren read with glee.

Sorry students! Minor emergency to take care of, and I'll be back by the middle of the next period. If you're badly hurt, see Mr.Ackerman in room 203. If not, just sit tight! Feel free to take up the beds.

Thank you,

Ms.Ral

Eren had turned to you with shining green eyes, "Since no one's here, I guess I'll have to keep you company. Don't want you to hurt yourself."

There was something claustrophobic about how Eren stood in front of the door as if to signify to get out of here, you had to get through him.

"Maybe I can get Mr.Ackerman..."

Eren's sudden bout of laughter makes you wince and retreat inside of yourself, "For what? A fake headache? You really wanna inconvenience him like that? Mr.Ackerman?"

You take slow steps backward until the back of your knees hit the school bed, making you stumble as you clumsily take a seat. Eren's been marching forward with every retreating step you took, and it's no surprise when he pushes you down the bed, strong hands on the side of your head, while his muscular legs force your thighs apart so he can settle himself in between.

"We have some time to kill, you know." Strands of dark hair fall into his eyes, and without thinking, you reach upwards to brush them aside.

He grips your wrist before you make it that far, nearly gritting out a "What are you doing?"

You just stare, not really knowing why that was your impulse either. Finally, you mouth out, "I want you to leave Eren."

The grip on your wrist is tighter than ever, and you very well know that you're going to have new finger-shaped bruises before the old ones even finish healing.

"And I want to stay." He punctuates each word slowly, and all you can think is how being pinned to a bed is much less painful than having the hard surface of wood digging onto your back.

You're fully aware of the heat in your core, and having Eren on top of you doesn't make this it any easier because fuck, he is attractive. Maddeningly so. And maybe you want him to go away so bad because you're afraid that if his fingers are caught inside of you, you'll thank him for it.

As if reading your mind, he lets go of your wrist (making a mental note of your sluggish movements and slipping resistance) and massages your warm hole from your panties.

"Eren please" You grit out. He merely chuckles, "What are you asking for, whore?"

You could feel tears threatening to fall. This was so embarrassing. Did you want this? Yes, yes. yes, yes. You were so wet right now and had enough of the teasing.

He alternated his kneading from slow and soft to fast and rough, and you couldn't help but let out the prettiest little moans Eren's ever heard. Since you lose all pretenses of resistance, his other hand roughly brushes against your hardened nipples, straining against the fabric of your shirt.

Okay, he decided. He's going to make you beg.

"Beg." It's announced like a command, and while you hear it, you don't really register it because your hips are busy chasing the heat, and it's all too much of an utter disappointment when his long thin fingers leave.

"I said beg slut."

"Eren, please, please. I need you so bad." You're blubbering and you don't care. You just want his pretty fingers to shove aside your panties and rub against your folds. You think back to the library, how wet you were, how the stupid fucking phone call from his coach interrupted him pumping his fingers inside of you. And you didn't know if you were happy or mad he left. But now, all you crave is the blissful wave of pleasure- the very pleasure he's been denying you.

Eren looks down at you, green eyes scrutinizing. After a long while of what it seems to be him just staring, he wipes his fingers on your skirt, brushes back his hair with a wayward hand.

"Looks like I should head back to class. See you later."

Too numb to say anything, you watch him leave with a smirk on his face. When you're sure he's walked away, you curl into yourself and cry.

#attack on titan fanfiction #eren x y/n #tw dubcon #bully eren yeager #bullying #toxic eren #yandere eren x reader #eren x reader

[birdmenmanga]

okay please give me a blorbography on these unhinged middle school kids you keep putting on my dash

THANKS FOR SENDING ME AN ASK ABOUT MY UNHINGED MIDDLE SCHOOL KIDS BESTIE <3 <3 <3 genuinely if you did not do it I would have sent myself an ask and just answered it as though it wasn’t me at all

hee hee. I'll do my avian men first because the series is half as long so there aren't as many choices, and I’ll do Kekkaishi down under that lol

Birdmen

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): I hate doubling up on my choices and I want to torment Eishi more than he is my favorite character so I suppose Takayama Sou has to be my blorbo by process of elimination. I do seriously think about this guy all the time.  He will really say shit like it’s nothing. “One finds prodigious strength at the scene of a fire...” like he just says that??? unscripted??? he just drops lines like “the secrets to the universe? which one?” and “there’s no way to make everyone happy, right? then why not change the rules of a world like that? from the outside.”???? like holy shit bestie. I think you have some issues!! but by god!! go king give us inscrutable and inexplicable actions!!! Show up in my dreams unprompted or whatever!! go off!!

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): SAGISAWA REI. he is SUCH a scrunkly scrimblo. he keeps wanting to go to the lourve despite the fact they’re trying to decide the fate of birdmen and humanity at large. he has the best taste in women. the inside of his brain is like schrodinger’s cat. both full and empty at the same time. when it’s full it’s filled with rose jam. I think I’m being influenced by bells here, but I do think he is SO charming. he’s like “wow we should make a club!! that’s a normal activity normal people do, right?? I am getting a good grade in enjoying my student life and making friends”. I would love to be besties with him

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): I feel like I could pick anyone not from the bird club and they would qualify as a scrimblo bimblo. I guess if I had to pick ONE I’d pick Jonathan :((((( And I don’t mean Fox, I mean Jonathan specifically. There’s just something so tragic and compelling about his relationship with Jasmine... like good lord. what was going on in his head when Lily was pretending to be Jasmine. was he thinking that he deserved whatever she did to him and that’s why he didn’t tell Fox? on god. shoveling gravel in my mouth.

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): Gabriel (NOT Raphael). Look, I know it's kind of a pick from the left field but you can't be a glup shitto if it's not like that!! Gabriel just has excellent vibes idk what to say!! She's lovely and gorgeous and I love her swag!! I was so excited that Milan was getting laid I was like wow!! go besties!! get it!! I was so happy that Gabriel survived the fighter jets and I was really really looking forward to when she woke up again. You don't understand. I YELLED when she jolted awake. And then it turns out that her baby is piloting her comatose body like a mecha now?? That will haunt me for the rest of my life. What the fuck? Rest in peace, Gabriel.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): LOL. TATSUME NAOYUKI LMAOOOO. Yes yes yes I know, I know I say Eishi's the wettest most pathetic guy all the time but truly. he has nothing on Tatsume <3. Eishi could NEVER dream of being kidnapped as a middle-aged professor and confessing to stalking an elementary schooler. He's not unhinged enough to stab himself in the torso on three separate occasions and lay down in the street simulating the circumstances where he ran into Takayama for the first time just to try and get him to show up again. Literally nobody comes close to the pathetic feralness of Associate Professor of Tokyo University and evolutionary biologist Tatsume Naoyuki

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Do you even have to ask. Karasuma Eishi <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): I would send Robin’s supervisor to superhell, except the problem is that he WANTS to go to superhell, defeating the purpose. My second choice is Wang Guang Feng. idk what it is about that guy but his vibes are just off, big time. I can see why Takayama didn’t choose him.

Kekkaishi

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): uuuaaaHGGHAAAAA SUMIKO SUMIMURA MY BELOVEDDDDD. SHE LITERALLY LIVES IN MY MIND RENT FREE... She’s trying so hard, and even so she still fails to connect...she spends a decade building her grave where she'll serve penance for the rest of her life... so beloved by everyone around her and still constantly feeling like she’ll never be human enough to be worth loving... good god I’m going to cry. I’m going to lay down on the floor listening to Dante by R Sound Design while I murmur “let my use my monstrous powers for your sake” over and over 

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): LOL PROBABLY SEN KAGEMIYA. he is just SO scrunkly!! I could grab him by the scruff and shake him around like a ragdoll!! I want to feed him those jelly cups they make for hercules beetles. he’s soooo hypocritical. he will be like “nope I am a rational guy who makes excellent decisions so I will definitely not go save you nope nope not a chance” and then be like “argh you’re such an idiot! I hate that I have to save you!”. Even tanabe says that he’s the closest thing to a tsundere. truly a scrunkly.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): SOJI HIURA. WHERE IS EVERYONE’S LOVE FOR SOJI. WHY AM I ALONE ON THIS HILL. Soji is literally one of the most guys ever!! He likes chocolate cake because the color is nice!!! He likes mechanical pencils and watching washing machines and writing kanji and he’s also a perfect killing machine who’s learning how emotions work what more could you want??? he TAKES NAPS in the AFTERNOON!!! WHY DOES NOBODY ELSE LOVE HIM LIKE I DO??? I GENUINELY DON’T UNDERSTAND....

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): GOD WHEN SHUUJI SUMIMURA HAS A MOMENT... like you know. most of the time he is just chilling. just saying “ohhh sweetie go take a nap I know you’re tired” “omg I made too much food would you like to take some home” etc. etc. but Sometimes. Sometimes. His overwhelming love for his wife who is off at war all the fucking time comes out and boy. does he shine in those moments. He loves his wife so much. Did I mention that he loves his wife a lot? He’ll throw tea at you if you badmouth her. He is really such a guy. There isn’t a better father in fictional media.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): You know usually I gravitate towards the “otherwise pathetic” aspect of this one but you know what? We’re going with problematic and controversial this time. Kakeru. Absolute girlboss. Oh yeah you made a spell to cause the heat death of the universe because your beloved mentor got killed?? You’re so valid have a nice day. I usually hate characters who are like “HAHAHA I WILL DESTROY YOUR TOWN! VIOLENCE AND DESTRUCTION. AS A TREAT.” but something about Kakeru just hits different. idk she’s fun :3

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): LOL. Yoshimori and Toshimori Sumimura. Yoshimori’s obviously a given since he’s the protagonist and he gets attached to people so easily and he’s so soft and lovable yet so unhinged and reckless. it’s really an awesome combination to violently hurl against a brick wall!!! Now, Toshimori might be a weird one. But in my head I have an AU where he gets kidnapped by Soji and starts hunting mystical sites with Kakeru and Michiru and man... he is going THROUGH it in that one specific scenario and I am loving it. I keep dropping him in the plinko over and over again trying to see whether different things will happen. what a lil guy. what a shame he could be broken

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): Kaguro. Hate that guy. vibes are absolutely rancid. if anyone deserves to get sent to superhell it’s him. he already knows he’s going to superhell he’s just trying to have as much fun as he can before he’s gone. he didn’t deserve to be in Yoshimori’s shinkai. get lost loser

Okay now that I’ve written out my blorbos for both series, some observations: I just really like characters who are one step removed from humanity, huh? I mean my faves are apparently Takayama, Sumiko and Soji. They’re all definitely in the same genre of characters. inscrutable. difficult to communicate with. difficult to control. but still so beloved. still so beloved.

I also see a strong pattern in the characters I wanted to send to superhell LOL. I feel like I simply don’t like evil characters!! I was SO ready for Guang Feng to become an antagonist of some sort, because he’s coded EXACTLY like an asshole guy who Eishi would want to beat up in a fistfight except there’s not a single fistfight he could ever win!! But I understand from the narrative themes that it wasn’t going to happen-- a distinct lack of conflict between birdmen is integral to the plot. Regarding Kaguro... I just don’t know. I just don’t think the Kokuboro arc was very compelling. Byaku, Kaguro, Matsudo... I just didn’t find any of them particularly interesting, and I didn’t get attached to any of them. Kaguro tried really hard to be evil but yoshi’s right. he really has no substance at all. just go to superhell king.

regarding the horse plinko. genuinely if you’re not putting the protag through the horse plinko what are you doing?? writing domestic fluff about them???? couldn’t be me (THIS IS NOT A CRITICISM OF FLUFFY CONTENT. I LOVE READING IT!! I JUST CAN’T MAKE STUFF LIKE THAT. ITS JUST NOT HOW I WORK...)

anyways bestie thank you so much for allowing me to go off about my blorbos <3 <3 <3

#asks #ashe-is-here #birdmen #kekkaishi

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: You're with him right now, aren't you? Nancy: With how that convo just went you're gonna need to be Rio: Oh Rio: No, I'm actually at work but I can go back if I need to Nancy: It's me giving fair warning, it's up to you Rio: I don't know what to say Nancy: Me either Rio: This isn't how we wanted this to go down Rio: but I guess there's no speech that would prepare anyone, yeah? Nancy: Unlikely Nancy: You're the only ones who had any time to prepare and you're struggling, like Rio: It's just Rio: if it was anyone else, we wouldn't have to make this big thing of it, it feels awkward Rio: I know it isn't anyone else and that's the point but it doesn't take away from that feeling Nancy: Well, I'm glad you feel awkward too 'cause it's fucking weird Nancy: And he doesn't care at all so Rio: It's just hard for him to hear that Rio: it doesn't feel it Nancy: I literally don't understand this Nancy: You hate him Rio: Well Rio: I don't Rio: It's a headfuck, I know Nancy: Do you? Rio: Yeah Rio: This is why this is the last way we wanted this to come out Nancy: Like there's a better one Nancy: It's still Rio: You can say it, whatever you want Nancy: I've slagged him off to you so many times and the whole time you've Rio: It's not like I've been repeating it, I promise Nancy: That's not even the issue Nancy: God, this is so strange Rio: What is? Like, your main issues personally anyway Nancy: I don't have words for any of this Nancy: We grew up together, all of us, and then me and him drifted but it was okay 'cause so did you and him Nancy: You understood what he was like instead of falling under his spell like everyone else Rio: I still do Rio: I've not been fooled into thinking he's something he's not Rio: but yeah, I've seen other sides of him too Nancy: He told me why you two really stayed away from each other Nancy: So no you don't Rio: It's hard to explain Rio: it doesn't strictly mean I bought into all that Rio: and I did still see what you were saying, regardless Nancy: I don't get why you'd do this Nancy: You're so much better than it Rio: I know it's unconventional, and lots of people are going to have lots of opinions Rio: but I care less about how hard it might be because I love him more Nancy: I don't care that you're cousins, I care that he's him and you're you Rio: Like I said, I've seen different sides Rio: and you've got to admit, he's been getting better Nancy: You don't think I've seen every side? Nancy: That's how I know which one wins out Nancy: I love him too okay, but any change has come 'cause the Chloe thing scared him straight for a while Nancy: He doesn't know how not to revert to type Rio: It's just a different relationship Rio: no one is entirely themselves with any one person really Rio: he's not always been that, he wasn't before, he doesn't have to stay it Nancy: He's been a prick way longer than he wasn't and we both know it Nancy: Harsh but true Rio: He's got his reasons Rio: don't we all? Nancy: I don't want you to get hurt, alright? Rio: I know Rio: and without sounding disingenuous I am glad you care Rio: but it's too late to go back Rio: I don't want to Nancy: Gross Nancy: Don't give me any more details, like Rio: 'Course not Nancy: Did you really have to come for my parents entire relationship dynamic and repeat it with your own spin? Nancy: I'm joking but like also not Rio: I know Rio: the parallels were not lost on me Nancy: If you break up I'll have to move countries again Nancy: Lord knows what you'd have to do Rio: Yeah Rio: It is scary, not gonna lie Nancy: I literally can't and won't pick sides Rio: I'm not going to ask you to, can't promise he wouldn't but you know Rio: hoping it's not gonna come to that, call me an optimist Nancy: Okay that's cute Nancy: Don't make me a believer this fast, thanks Rio: Sorry, like Nancy: Can we like call him by a code name or something? Nancy: This is just Rio: Only 'cos I'm dying to hear your suggestions now Nancy: Don't make me laugh right now Rio: Soz again Rio: I promise I'm never going to come to you with the kinda info that'll have you wishing you were deaf Rio: Never have, 'cos ew boys, yeah? Nancy: I was literally gonna say Nancy: I'm too gay for that whoever it is Rio: Exactly Rio: I know it's going to be weird for a while for all the other reasons but aside from that, just another straight boy right Nancy: Yeah Nancy: Some of your exes have been even bigger pricks too, but don't tell him I said that Nancy: He'll take it as a trade up Rio: My lips are sealed Rio: Though if anyone's trying to deny that then they got bigger problems Nancy: I can't believe you've used those lips on him after how the first time went Nancy: I'm dead here Rio: He was like, what, 9 Rio: Again, the eternal optimist Rio: but hardly with how much he bragged on all his practice so Nancy: Don't Rio: My bad Nancy: Did you like him then? Nancy: When he was 9 I mean, not when he was bragging Rio: I mean Rio: Not to the degree we've been keeping the secret that long Rio: I guess I had a crush on him Rio: pass you the sick bucket, like Nancy: Lord Nancy: I know he did on you, he told me Nancy: Unprompted, which is another level of gross, thank you Nancy: It's like he was in the closet over this in place of me ever being Nancy: So dramatic, like Rio: I'll save my 'cute' for him, don't worry Rio: well you know, do anything for you, like Nancy: Can I come and see you? Nancy: Like I know it's gonna be so awkward in person probably and I wanna get it over with so we can just Rio: Of course Rio: I'd like that Nancy: I miss you Nancy: Even if you do have rubbish taste in boys Rio: I miss you too Rio: all of you Rio: but I don't miss being there, you know Nancy: I get it Nancy: I feel the same about London Rio: Yeah Rio: I thought you would Nancy: I know it's Drew and I really shouldn't expect him to be anything other than the worst but I can't believe he outed you like that Nancy: So fucked up Rio: Yeah, I really hoped he wouldn't but Rio: guess he had no reason not to now Nancy: But like did he ever? I don't understand why he waited Nancy: It must've given you so much false hope that he'd actually keep his mouth shut Nancy: That's cruel Rio: I guess 'cos he wanted to fuck me himself Rio: put it bluntly Rio: couldn't really be talking shit and doing it at the same time Nancy: That makes sense but why not tell everyone after the baby shower, you know Rio: Yeah, I don't know you know Rio: Buster reckoned maybe he was trying to keep Indie on-side a bit but Rio: that worked well for him Nancy: I don't want my brother to be right about anything right now but Nancy: Could be true, I guess Rio: Kinda makes sense Rio: or he just wanted to fuck with us with false hope and sense of security, like you said Rio: Idk, but I'm relieved in a way, like you said, when would ever be the 'right' moment? Nancy: I can relate, obviously not exactly Nancy: But when I finally kissed Sian after wanting to for such a long time it was like Nancy: Not the best example considering what happened after though Nancy: Try not to crash and burn, like Rio: Noted Rio: At least you had the balls to, good idea or not Rio: decidedly not but Rio: maybe we'd have never done it without being forced, idk Nancy: Buster would Nancy: It was obvious how much he wants to be with you Nancy: Gross too but Rio: Yeah Rio: I lowkey stopped him a few times but pretend I didn't admit that he'd only be annoying Nancy: Of course Nancy: I get it now, why he trashed his room that day Nancy: I never did get the real story out of him but it makes so much sense now Rio: That was more about the Chloe thing Nancy: Yeah? Nancy: Oh so he wasn't lying Rio: Don't sound too shocked Nancy: Compared to earlier I'm positively zen Rio: Ha, I have that affect Nancy: You calmed him down that day, didn't you? Nancy: Oh god Nancy: I'm gonna go ahead and repress Rio: Unless you wanna rephrase, probably for the best Nancy: I need you to tell me the safe zones of both our houses so I can exist in there only Nancy: But I also don't wanna know Rio: ... Rio: I dunno if you want me to stay silent or if that says too much Nancy: Please tell me my room was off limits Nancy: I will die Rio: Of course Rio: Not a total animal Nancy: I'm too relieved to argue the pros and cons of what you just said so Rio: 🤐 Nancy: There is one thing I HAVE to ask though Rio: Go on Rio: Slightly concerned but Nancy: Don't worry I'm rolling my eyes at myself Nancy: But be nice to him, yeah? 'Cause I can't but like he's never been in love before Rio: I promise Nancy: He acts tough but I could take him easily Nancy: Especially with things like this Rio: I know Rio: let's not start singing no stranger to heartache though, yeah? Nancy: All I'm saying is, if what happened to me happened to him there'd be nobody left alive Nancy: He's the most dramatic McKenna there is Nancy: Worse than dad and nan put together Rio: I mean, not gonna argue Rio: you are handling it really well, you know Rio: even if you still feel the same mess now as you did then, it doesn't show Nancy: You're the only person who's said anything close to that to me Nancy: So thanks Rio: This family is just shit at talking to each other Rio: not coming for them 'cos well Nancy: I feel like mum is never gonna look at me like she used to Nancy: not to come for Buster's dramatic flair but Rio: I know Rio: She will, she's pretty good Rio: Assume Buster told you she worked it out Nancy: Yeah Nancy: I'd be more shocked if she hadn't 'cause of course Nancy: It's just she's never treated me like I'm stupid before, you know, not with the dyslexia stuff or any of it, but that was before this Rio: Feelings aren't logical though Rio: I reckon she's stinging that SHE didn't know, you know Rio: not for the 'I told you so' or anything but so she could've helped you deal Nancy: I don't know whether to be flattered or horrified that I'm better at keeping secrets than you and him combined Rio: Using all that closet angst you never got to, obviously Nancy: Which reminds me, I can't help wishing Chloe knew about this 'cause of how angry she'd be Rio: I have good news Nancy: REALLY? Nancy: did everyone know but me or what, like? Rio: awks 😬 Rio: but no, her obsession worked to her advantage and she was able to piece together us being at the same place enough times Nancy: Her and mum getting jackets now Nancy: Sorry Drew you missed your chance Rio: Honestly Rio: He did not put the effort in Rio: won't tell you the full deets 'cos you won't wanna know Nancy: umm? Rio: We'll leave it at he may as well have walked in it was that blatant Nancy: OH Nancy: oh my god have you and him ever....when I was there? Rio: Gurl Rio: don't ask Nancy: RIO I KNOW THAT MEANS YES Rio: Shh Nancy: That's despicable Rio: Well that's a bit steep Rio: it's hardly a war crime Nancy: I'm calling it a hate crime Nancy: I can Nancy: I'm gay Rio: 😂 Rio: You clearly didn't hear anything so count yourself lucky Nancy: Please I just assumed it was another posh blonde if I did Nancy: Been there, done my best to ignore that Rio: With this accent? I think not Rio: I was stealth Nancy: I didn't have a glass to the wall sounding out how you said vowels Rio: Trust, you'd know Nancy: CAN YOU NOT Rio: You brought it up! Rio: I'm not trying air my business or his Nancy: I have to go find some ground to swallow me brb Rio: 😏 okay babe Nancy: how is that a euphemism? Rio: idk, your mind, honestly woman Nancy: can you at least promise to keep your hands off each other when I visit or not? Rio: We managed this far, I think we'll be fine Rio: not PDA all the way from here on out, like Nancy: Okay Rio: Thanks, Nance Nancy: For what? Rio: For still being normal with me Nancy: If it was abnormal to fancy Buster I'd be too busy judging half the female population to even speak to you Nancy: Besides, I'm saving my big reinvention for when uni starts, like you said Rio: Yeah? Is that warning me to expect my shade and silent treatment in the post, like? Nancy: Maybe Nancy: Depends what you do between now and then Nancy: You can't see my hair flip but its happening Rio: Oh God, don't become Chloe, like Rio: a misstep if ever there was one Nancy: 😱 Rio: You know, don't be THAT mad I'm with Buster, not goals Nancy: Wash your mouth out Rio: I'm sorry but you never gave me a codename Nancy: That Prick ™️ Nancy: But I meant the comparison between me and her Nancy: That was a deep cut Rio: Yeah, she wishes Nancy: If she tries to date me next just know I predicted it Rio: I'll pray for you Nancy: Such an unholy union what else is there to do? Nancy: I love you but I'm not taking the heat off you that way, like Rio: Not to be that bitch but Rio: kinda owe me twofold now so Rio: tick tock Nancy: BITCH NO Nancy: I also draw the line at boudoir photography Rio: Damn 😂 Nancy: I'll recommend you someone Nancy: They won't be as good obviously Rio: 'Course not Rio: I know my own angles, it's cool Nancy: And nobody loves himself more than him so he's bound to as well Rio: I mean, his feed is pretty poppin' Nancy: 🙄 Rio: 😂 that was just a normal compliment Nancy: How did I not know you're so disgustingly in love? My god Rio: Gay drama, probably Nancy: Sad but true Rio: At least you've got an excuse Rio: everyone else needs a word Nancy: Honestly Rio: Though I'm cool with most of mine skillfully avoiding 'cos I don't need to do this 10x over Nancy: oh no Nancy: imagine Rio: Lucky only some of them are highkey Rio: that's enough Nancy: Yeah Nancy: not that I can say anything 'cause about to excuse myself to cry over my brother having a girlfriend when I don't Rio: Awh babe Rio: wanna hit the town when you come? Nancy: To drink, definitely Nancy: anything else with my track record is a no Rio: Your track record of 1 1/2? Rio: Come to me when you've got at least half a dozen failures, like Nancy: You don't think that's enough mistakes to be making? Rio: Nah Rio: Need I remind you your track record with drinking is not flawless either Rio: but you gotta live, babe Nancy: I'm scared, okay? Rio: That's alright Rio: they won't bite 'less you ask Nancy: 😂 Nancy: What if I'm not ready, I don't wanna fuck anyone over again Rio: It's just the club Rio: harmless, meaningless flirting is the standard Nancy: Yeah? Nancy: Will you actually come with me? Rio: 'Course Nancy: Despite Buster's coffee shop masterclass, which feels like a million years ago anyway, I don't really know what I'm doing Rio: I can show you Rio: but you gotta do it how you would, you know, you can't go too hard with an act Nancy: 🙈 Rio: It'll be fun, been ages since I flirted with a girl Nancy: Don't tell my brother that he'll get bored 😂🙄 Nancy: Help me though I need it Rio: No danger, trust Rio: I will, bring outfit options Nancy: Obviously Nancy: When are we doing this? Nancy: In typical lesbian fashion I need to angst for like 4 years prior Rio: Whenever you can get over Rio: I work most nights but I've got plenty time banked so it won't hurt Nancy: Let's make it happen soon Nancy: Everyone's doing my head in here Rio: Whenever you want, babe Rio: your brother is only as busy as usual so Nancy: Is next weekend too highkey? Rio: Nah, sounds good to me Nancy: Okay Nancy: Anything 🍀 you're missing let me know and I'll pack that too Rio: Just some decent tea, tah Nancy: That ain't even London that's just our house Nancy: Full offense mum Rio: 😂 the real beef comes out Nancy: You missed a chance to say the real tea Nancy: Come on Rio: Damn Rio: really let myself down, like Nancy: mhmm Rio: Ah well, what can ya do Nancy: Do you think if I ask your mum to cat sit while I'm there I'll ever see her again? Rio: Your Ma or the cat? Nancy: Either or Rio: I don't think she's that cold Rio: but one of mine would defs go in and give her TLC Rio: the cat, that is Nancy: 😂 Nancy: I'll text you when my flight's booked then Rio: 👍 See you then babe Nancy: Until then, remember I loved you first 💋 Rio: 😂 Love you too silly bitch