#where scully figures out where they've taken mulder

[deathsbestgirl]

thinking about this too much and i'm going straight to requiem with it.

if mulder knew during en ami, had been going to doctors...with the way scully's cancer was interfered with, her infertility, her pregnancy. i think it makes sense that mulder was also being monitored & interfered with. csm would have known.

part of what i like about en ami is he's finally treating her as more than an experiment or as a way to get to mulder. he didn't want scully to tell mulder about this, it was a caveat for him telling her anything. he spends the time psychoanalyzing her and trying to make him see as more than a villain. he tries to humanize himself. tells her she can have the cure for cancer, all human ailments. he tells her how she'd die for mulder but won't let herself love him. everyone knows she would die for mulder, sacrifice anything for him, give him anything. and it goes both ways.

csm may know a lot, but he doesn't know everything. he can plan for a lot, but he can't plan for everything.

if what happened to mulder from biogenesis through amor fati is the cause of his brain disease, something csm stole, had surgically removed from mulder and put into his own brain...was there concern for himself? granted, it couldn't have worked. it was a failed experiment, but having part of mulder implanted into him that developed a disease?

he did want a cure. and if it did exist, he could have taken it for himself. leaving mulder & scully with nothing.

csm doesn't know everything and he needed to figure out what scully knew. if she knew, not only would she have been driven as a doctor & as someone who was infected with a deadly cancer, but she would want it for mulder.

in the end, scully leaves with a blank disc and csm (presumably) throws the real one into the water, unlikely to by seen again. but that doesn't mean he doesn't have the cure. something, i think he would be interested in. to save his chosen few should the need arise.

but before that can happen, mulder is abducted. i know most people interpret mulder's reaction as angry, and that's part of it. his fear, especially concerning scully's tendency toward belief (beyond the sea, all souls). i think it's more complicated than that though. he knows about his brain disease. he remembers scully's cancer too well, her abduction, emily. mulder knows what scully would sacrifice for him. he knows what she sacrifices for others & the world. her safety, her autonomy, literally anything she has to offer. he knows what he almost did to get her cure for cancer...if mulder told scully about his brain disease, if she went along with csm without even knowing about it. there's no telling what she would do if she did know.

(mulder didn't want her to be used again, the way they both have been. he knows the pain of manipulation. he knows how her abduction affected her, and himself. they both know loss at the hands of this conspiracy several times over. he doesn't want this to be scully's life.)

the audience doesn't always understand how crazy dana scully is, but fox mulder knows very well.

in requiem, mulder tells scully the cost is too high. not for all the reasons they've been told, but the personal cost. he's at a point where he's starting to believe it isn't worth it. he wants her to live, like she wanted him to live. well, differently. mulder wants her to pursue the normal life she doesn't have, that she left behind to stay on the x files & to be with him. mulder was going to keep scully safe, he wasn't going to let her be abducted again. he convinces her to stay, but scully won't let him go alone. someone needs to have his back.

i don't know if mulder knew he would be abducted, that they were taking abductees with the brain activity he exhibited on biogenesis through amor fati. either way, he gets taken and not her.

scully doesn't find out about his brain disease until after mulder's been abducted. she denies the possibility because he would have told her, like she told him. when doggett suggests he doesn't trust her, she throws water in his face in a crowded bullpen. scully finds gibson in the desert, wanders the desert in search of mulder. hoping he'll turn up, having dreams of what he's going through.

scully suffers without him, has her prayers answered when he returns from the dead. she saves him from becoming a monster, and his brain disease is cured. and what if...this is what was on the disc? turning these people into hybrids eliminated human vulnerabilities, cured diseases, brought them back from the dead.

csm couldn't actually have scully know that. is a cure that takes away your humanity worth it? would she have found a way to counter it? (well, yes because she did.)

#oh no she's en ami posting again #anyway #just some #trish has thoughts #the mytharc is fun #but mostly i was thinking about it #for the m+s implications #mulder and scully #txf meta #en ami #requiem #the x files #csm #mulder's brain disease

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

Whumpay Day 16: "How did you get out?"

Deep Throat | @today-in-fic @whumpay2022

He's still shocky, hands shaking enough that Scully can see it, his eyes a little vacant. She doesn't say anything on the drive back to the motel, just tries very hard to control her breathing and not panic. The texture of the gun's grip is still imprinted in her right palm. It itches. She focuses on that, and on Mulder, who's staring silently out the windshield, his eyes flicking back and forth but likely not really taking in any of their surroundings. Scully knows she isn't observing very well right now — only enough to keep them on the road. She wants to — needs to — know what happened, but she doesn't think Mulder will answer.

She pulls into the hotel and sits him on the bed in his room, her hands roving over his head, feeling for bumps or lesions or anything that might explain his apparent memory loss. She runs her fingers across the back of his neck, and he freezes like he hadn't expected the touch. She stares down at him, a little taken off guard by the realization that in this position, she's the taller one, but she doesn't remove her hand. There has to be some explanation, some injury or reason for what's happened. She never should have let him leave.

"What did- how did you get out, Mulder? Why did they let you go?" She wonders if it was because of her, if she was a big enough threat in her casual clothes with a stolen gun to intimidate the men at the base into letting him go. She wonders if whatever they did to him will have lasting effects, besides the fear that's settled in her chest and reflected in Mulder's glassy eyes.

"I don't know," he replies, his voice unsteady. His breath hitches, picks up pace. "I can't remember. Scully, I can't-" he reaches for her, latches an arm around her waist like he's trying to ground himself, and maybe he is. "More memories stolen," he hisses, half angry but mostly just shaken.

Scully steps closer, lets him hold onto her. "It's okay," she whispers, a futile attempt to comfort him. She can feel him shaking, and instinctively strokes his hair. This is only their second real case together, but maybe they've already crossed a line. "You're alright, Mulder." Physically, at least.

He shakes his head where it rests against her collarbone. "My head hurts," he mumbles.

Scully swallows hard. "I'd give you something for that," she says, "But I don't know what they might have drugged you with, I don't know if it's safe." I don't know if it's safe — not just this, now. She's suddenly uncertain of whether anything is safe, anymore. What might Mulder have risked, besides his safety. His life? Their security? She thinks she'll be checking over her shoulder on the drive to the airport tomorrow.

"Figured." Mulder gives a dry, humorless chuckle. "Can you-" he hesitates, but Scully is absolutely certain that she would do anything he asked right now. She may be shaken, may be upset that he'd left her, but more than any of that she feels the intense need to protect him any way she can. "Just don't leave," he says, and Scully nods.

"I won't," she promises. "I won't leave." And it's a promise to herself, too.

#something akin to this has been in my head for A While but i might write out a longer fuller version #Lu writes #txf #the x files #txf s1 #dana scully #fox mulder #mulder and scully #msr #whumpay2022

[redheadgleek]

First Lines

Glee:

1. Kurt stalls at the closed door, his hand on the handle, and closes his eyes, listening to the cacophony of the crowd beyond. these inconvenient fireworks (Kurt/Blaine)

2. “Happy Holidays!” Blaine says, smiling at the passengers filing out of the plane. sure like never before (Kurt/Blaine)

3. The week before Prince Blaine Andreason’s seventeenth birthday, his brother was cursed. Love Me At Once (Kurt/Blaine)

4. Kurt Hummel’s nothing if not persistent in the face of failure. Marauder's Pact (Kurt/Blaine, 100 word drabbles, WIP)

5. “Okay. I’ve got height and weight requirements and possible careers down. What else?” When You Wish Upon A Star (Kurt/Blaine, WIP)

6. Kurt Hummel’s nose smudges the window as he takes in the tall buildings and the people bustling on the sidewalk. With Song and Celebration (Kurt/Blaine)

7. When Blaine cups his jaw and surges forward in reunion, Kurt clings. season of grace (Kurt/Blaine, 100 word drabbles).

8. The appearance of the small store with a bright yellow sign proclaiming “Cleaner Threads” feels like a miracle as Blaine rushes down the sidewalk. Pierce My Soul (Kurt/Blaine)

9. Dear Donor,

When we received "A Wedding" script last year, we removed a sticky note from the end of Act One that indicated that there were scenes from earlier drafts that were later removed due to length. A Wedding: Production Draft (Kurt/Blaine)

10. “How long have you two been married?” Jubilee (Kurt/Blaine, double drabble)

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Check Please:

11. During their first conversation graduation night, Bitty back in Madison, Jack in Montreal, Jack casually tells Bitty “I love you.” Wise Men Say (Jack/Bitty, drabble)

-

Lord of the Rings:

12. Plod on. Your path veers near the Nazgul city, where even light dies. Brevity (a collection of 100 word drabbles) Lord of the Rings

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Doctor Who:

13. She's twenty-five when he slides the ring on her finger. Tardus Semita (Doctor/Rose)

14. The quiet moments in between adventures she loved most. Astronomy Lessons (Doctor/Rose, drabble)

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Gilmore Girls

15. She somehow knew that one day she'd see him again. Aisle 7 (Rory/Jess).

16. Noise from the latest Stars Hollow celebration fades away as she escapes down the street. Sticks and Stones (Rory/Jess).

17. "I like your feet," she announced, solemnly looking down at said limbs poking out from the white sheets. One of the Moments (Rory/Jess).

18. "Geez, Rory, what is it with your town?..." Like Never Before (Rory/Jess, Paris/Brad, Rory & Paris, WIP)

19. My mother becomes absolutely crazy when it snows. What A Wonderful World (Rory/Jess).

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The X-Files and the opus that was never written:

"So, are you going to enlighten me about this case, Mulder? All I've heard so far, is 'grab your bags, we're headed to bonny England,' and that doesn't tell me anything." Fairy Tale (Mulder/Scully, unpublished, WIP).

Patterns: I can tell that I write drabbles, because i tend to write short sentences to convey the introduction. Other than that, I'm not sure. I've actually started less fic in the middle of a conversation than I thought I did.

Favorite first line: probably A Wedding. It just set up the story so well (and I still get comments every once in a while asking if it's real).

#first line fic meme #there's two xfiles fic that i want to write #this one which is basically a tam lin retelling #and another which is a sort of star wars inspired version of season 8 #where scully figures out where they've taken mulder #and she conspires to go rescue him #the WIPs hurt me #there's only three of them #one day maybe