#whereas when i write it now i'm doing it because i'm writing (1) repressed newly-out woman

[novelconcepts]

Hi! Hope you’re having a good Friday (or like. At least chill - that’s probably all most of us can hope for at this point tbh).

I just started reading your work with your Bly fics as I’m generally not much a fandom person (maybe the only person on tumblr who’s not??) but Bly really just grabbed me and wouldn’t let go. Anyways. I’m curious about your journey as a writer during your time writing for various fandoms over the (what I assume to be) years. Like...are there things you prioritize in your writing that you didn’t always? Parts of your process that have changed or developed? Also I’m curious if you always felt comfortable writing smut or if that’s been something that’s developed over time (lots of fic writers won’t go there). Now it clearly seems to be what the masses are clamoring for. Also lastly, along the lines of smut a bit but also generally, do you feel any particular sense of reaponsibility/pressure to write about things a certain way in your stories or include certain things in the smut? I imagine it could be a tricky balance with wanting to respond to prompts but also staying within your comfort zone.

I meant to answer this last night, and uhh...had such a chill night that I was asleep by like 10. But! My journey as a writer over the years. Honestly, I don’t know. I started writing in earnest for fandom when I was about 19, when Glee happened to us all, and I don’t....know that I prioritized things any differently, so much as wasn’t as good at doing what I do now? Like I was a lot less experienced, both in life and in writing itself, and I think that had a huge impact on how well I could craft character voice and dynamics. I’ve just sort of slowly been creeping my way toward doing it the way I want to--and I’m certainly not there yet; might never be, being something of an artistic perfectionist--over the past 12-ish years. I think my reason for writing has even changed; when it was Glee, or Pitch Perfect, or even Orphan Black, I think I wanted to fix things that didn’t feel right, or feel enough, in canon. With Bly? I’m mostly writing because these characters feel really real to me, and I want to steal more time with them. I want to keep them alive for myself--and anyone reading--a little longer. I think that’s the newest facet of my writing, honestly; it’s the first time I’ve ever processed playing in a sandbox as “I miss them, and I want them to have more time.” In terms of writing smut: I think I used to come at it with a lot less grace. I recently thought, “Huh, this Control series is the most recklessly sexual thing I’ve ever written”, and then happened to scroll back through some Glee and Orphan Black pieces and went, “Oh. Oh dear. That’s not true at all.” With how I write it now, I tend to care a lot more about what’s happening with the emotional state of the characters and what the sex says about them/their dynamic, and a lot less about writing up a play-by-play for the sake of eroticism. I also try to keep clear of some kinds of phrasing, at least with this particular set of characters; you’ll notice I don’t use a ton of euphemisms for body parts, or whatever, largely because the more real the characters feel, the weirder I feel describing their bodies in unnecessary detail. I’d hope the scenes are still getting across a level of passion and interest and all, because that’s...what they’re there to do, but I would also hope it doesn’t feel like “the author just wanted to see them bang in new and interesting ways”. It’s just not really what I’m trying to do. The hot factor is, in writing, secondary to the introspection and emotional resonance, which sounds...truly pretentious as fuck, but no less true. Character always comes first, no matter what kind of story I’m writing, and I try really hard to make that clear.  Which is also a part of where the balance comes in--there are just some requests that are made that don’t seem to suit the characters as I’ve translated them in my head. For instance, I don’t know that I’ll ever write a hardcore jealousy sex scene, because it doesn’t fit the way these two women relate to each other in canon. I wouldn’t say I feel pressured, because...if I take something on, it’s because I want to explore it. No one is making me write the way I’m writing. But there have definitely been prompts--both smutty and perfectly innocuous--that I’ll probably never fill, because the version of Dani and Jamie living in my head (and, after 40-something stories, they are very much a translated version built by repetition of both watching and writing--I try to get the voices as right as possible to canon, but in the end, this is a “copy of a copy” kind of thing) don’t suit said prompts. I feel that way about people asking for bondage and jealousy, and I feel it about people asking me to write them as parents or with pets. It’s interesting combing through and seeing “okay, I see why you asked for that--the way I see them, it doesn’t fit.”

#ask #that was a lot. i hope it answered what you were asking #but yeah i...actually really like writing smut. but for what it can show of character #and if i were to try to write the hottest sex i possibly could with no holds barred i'm sure it would look different #but it would also probably feel more wooden. and more like i was trying to appease someone else #whereas when i write it now i'm doing it because i'm writing (1) repressed newly-out woman #and (1) emotionally-repressed newly-open woman who loves her completely #and i am fascinated by every facet of what their relationship might look like #in any possible universe #so...as long as i'm finding new ways to engage with that relationship i'm happy to keep writing them #and hopefully i just keep getting better at it #Anonymous