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forgottencillian · 7 months

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OOC | Cillian & Brigit

so!!!! cillian!!!! has!!!! feelings!!! for!!! brigit!!!! and unfortunately he is cruising to make it EVERYONE'S problem smdh hahaha ok so i feel like he's lowkey the laurie to their march girls and if we follow that analogy, brigit is DEF his jo, like, i feel like he grew up w them but it was always a lil different w brigit bc he was always a little bit in love w her, even before he really knew what that meant yknow like she's always just had this special place in his heart but then!!!!!!! she turned him down!!!!!!! w a laugh!!!!!

i deffff think that shut him down hardddddd and, like, he probs tried to play it off like 'hahaha yeah what a ridiculous idea omg imma laugh' but then he was like 'sick for a week' and couldn't come to work bc he was too busy staring into a frozen lake and writing tragic poetry while all his dreams of his future shattered around her (he was def v dramatic abt this to his poor bro idk what to tell you lkajsdlkfjdsjf) tbh, i think he always knew it was doomed bc she was a lady and he was a servant and, like, he was ok w that...(and still lowkey held on to hope bc she was never super conventional and her dad just wanted her to be happy etc etc etc and i think he bounced between whether he thought it was mutual too all the time etc) but then to learn that it wasn't even that standing in their way, it was the thing he had loved most (her laughter) between them just really...wasn't a fun time

once he 'recovered from his illness' he def tried to pretend it was nothing by being in particularly good spirits (supposedly) when she was around, and generally tryna play it cool, but i think he ~does hold her a touch more at arms length emotionally than he ever did before bc he doesn't wanna get hurt again, but he also can't resist being around her bc he still has feelings and, even if he didn't, she'd still be his bff and he will always love her etc and it's just...extremely complicated

anyway, idk how long ago the not!breakup happened? but that would def play a role in ~where he is now~ in this emotional journey, but i can say i do think that cassandra has made it at once better AND worse????? bc, like, its really nice to feel wanted after being rejected etc and he genuinely enjoys her company!!! but then he gets back from that and he kinda feels like a jerk bc he's lying to her and using her to help destroy her fam which is obv not a great (boy)friend move lakjdsfkjldsf but also like there's brigit right there and what is he doing messing around when the person he's always loved is right there and maybe he can still convince her they belong together, and, like, he just feels like hes cruising to get EVERYONE hurt and yeah its a M E S S and i feel like the result is that he just acts kinda...strange, like kinda running hot and cold and its all v emotionally confusing for everyone probably alksdjfkljdsjkf id say im sorry in advance but i know you're not even a little bit surprised me and my characters are out here causing chaos hahahaha

#brigit malconaire #ooc

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