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strigoithing · 5 years

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To the “bros” in my life

Guys,

when I get my little check every month it goes to my rent and providing my life, I can not feed a child.

I do not have a son. I do not have any kids. I do not want kids or need kids. I have fibro. I can not just “put it away now” and “get it together” and be a Parent. I am going through menopause and at the very latest late peri because I rarely have a heavy bleed during a month no more than a few drops, but unlike most women I am Pagan and my moon shed is not embarassing it is something I celebrate.

I will never have a mother’s body. I will not have leaky boobs. I will not have cellulite on my thighs and hips. I will not have strange pain in my toes and my feet from birthing children.

Because I already had it. My daughter died, she would have been 17 this march 27th. Tornado. Don’t need to try again. Don’t want too, can not anyway. I do not ovulate to bleed, to have a child, do not have basal body temp anymore do not get aroused around the time of ovulation..man you men are stupid. My child ended up going to dfacs. Father had a drug problem long story short abusive relationship, dfacs took her away. I do not feel like a failure. I am ascended, sometimes it feels good to fail. I knew my daughter would not be alive always and knew, she needed to go elsewhere in the world that me and the father could not take her. Vampire children too this means my daughter was also strigoi. Took her father’s energy at nine months old at a dfacs meeting. Funny. From what I understood she tried to later bite the family cat... haha.

Men just want to trap and cage women and our choices. I am Pro choice. I always will be. My body was racked with emotions and items I did not want..you can’t just whisk away milk from the breast if you don’t want it there. You literally become a dripping cow. It is gross and you smell and you have to shower all the time, and you never have a moment’s peace between your body and the child and the father. Cause you either are oozing, or taking care of the baby or the father’s trying to have sex with you when you are trying to get what little sleep you can get, because you are up every three hours for a diaper change or a feeding.

I am not having a hysterectomy or having my tubes tied because I am a natural pagan woman who wants to keep all her parts, even though I have endometriosis and adenomyosis which is not cancer causing. Hysterectomies are recommended for women like myself because of the adenomyosis which is gas in the vagina, and cervix, so see, having kids is not something I should be putting my body through. If I had a kid right now, he or she would not survive and would probably not be born alive, not because I am unhealthy but because my body is strigoi morte and it is not recommended for people like me to have kids. Not only this but mentally I have enough problems with life and just myself, not to mention a kid. I have been through the body change as my kind requires, spirit and mental and so on. Kids is not something I will be having, nor will I be a surrogate mom, I do NOT WANT ANY KIDS IN ANY ADOPTIVE OR ANY NATURAL WAY. I can not afford children and I do not want this kind of deal to be with some man in any way shape or form. If it won’t work with a woman its not working with a man either.

What is adenomyosis in the uterus? Adenomyosis is a condition in which the inner lining of the uterus (the endometrium) breaks through the muscle wall of the uterus (the myometrium).Adenomyosis can cause menstrual cramps, lower abdominal pressure, and bloating before menstrual periods and can result in heavy periods.Dec 3, 2018Adenomyosis: Symptoms, Causes, and Treatments - WebMD https://www.webmd.com/women/guide/adenomyosis-symptoms-causes-treatments

Not only this but the price of having a kid in today’s society has skyrocketed, was at the store with a friend’s friend and baby formula today costs about 28.00 a can and I would not breast feed my kid because it is really painful and not fun to go through. Women of low income rely on ebt and wic, and wic alone pays for an infants food for the first yr. A formula voucher is at least $80.00 16 yrs ago and now is at least 135.00. Not to mention clothing, other foods, medicine, and diapers, school meals and school materials, and so on....no thanks I only get $771 a month in ssi and can not work mentally or physically. I also live in transitional housing and am trying to move but it will then be pubic housing.

I also get food stamps and its only 154 a month.

Many men or children in my life - Tim, Chris, Kevin etc people from louise lane think I will want to care about a child and raise a child and be a mom and a “winner”, and they can control my life and my money and how I spend it and where I spend it, and who I spend it on. This is a form of terrorism and I have to choose for me. My choices for me shape who I am as a woman, a woman who manages her “shit” well. I can not burden myself any more than I have ever been burdened.

I am not motherly. I was adopted, and I am strigoi, my parents are strigoi and gave me up because it can be mentally draining on a woman who is strigoi to raise children, people always say moms have a bond with their children, no they don’t. I did not come to this planet to get pregnant and get knocked up by some man who swears he is a man and not a kid. It takes more than juice in the fridge and a big bank account to be a mom or a dad.

All the men in this thing think having a family will erase their bad child hood and it will not, some void will be filled because they are a father. It won’t. you will only wreck more lives. You can’t build a life on a lie. They are still kids themselves mentally. It won’t force you into being a man or a father or a role model or a masterful husband or something. Being that mentor for YOU begins with how you treat your own self and live your own life well and not like a druggie or a dope head. You are not fooling me or anyone. I know you are not family material or husband material. Oh btw I don’t want to get married either....

Can’t if I am going to get the survivor’s pension. Can’t marry at all. Not that anyone is trying to love me in a justful manner, they just want to be a controlling manipulative twit bastard.

Thanks again for trying to ruin my life but no thank you,

Ana Massien

PS. I am quite grown and quite a winner already seeing I don’t like dick butt men try to ruin and run my life. You guys need to grow the fuck up while I hang out with my friends some more and shop online and buy tunics which is why I “need my money controlled” *rolls eyes* Jealous little shit and no woman is gonna look at you and think you need her for more than a surrogate mom to make me jealous with and I don’t even care, tim.

#about my life #about me and kids #about me and children

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