#wooahaes.txt

[wooahaes]

vernon would tell his friends he's busy and then say its his partner's cat's birthday and they'd be like what. and then he'd just send back a pic of said cat with a lil party hat on like its her birthday ??? obviously? say happy bday to her rn.

#wooahaes.txt #this is me thinkin abt one of my cats being 14 (her bday was in july skfhsdf not today or anything) #and being like. yeah vernon would celebrate that

[wooahaes]

dating wonwoo and going to the library he works at and asking him for help finding something and asking if hes free constantly. it always ends w him keeping a straight face and saying that he's happily taken (and ur like damn.... guess ill try again next time....)...... until one of his coworkers tells you off for being so relentless and never respecting when wonwoo says no. its probably seungkwan.

#wooahaes.txt #seungkwan is like wonwoo is too polite to tell you to go away and to stop flirting w him when hes in a VERY HAPPY COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP #and wonwoo is like. seungkwan. seungkwan its okay haha dont worry about it #and seungkwan just kinda mouths off only for wonwoo to just... wordlessly hold up his phone so seungkwan can see #his lockscreen which is the two of you squished into frame while at an amusement park or something #and seungkwan just. mentally he blue screens. hes gone. he will be apologizing to u for years.

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btw for anyone like. younger than me (so like under 23). im gonna tell u what a lot of ppl older than me have already said but ill say it again regardless:

please never stress about not having it all figured out. im still figuring shit out at 23 and looking into trade schools now because life is hard and things change and thats entirely ok. ur gonna figure it out a little more and ur still gonna be kinda lost because we're all not 100% sure of where we're going. there's always gonna be some aspect of ur life that ur not 100% clear on and thats ok! u can love ur job and still not know what u like as hobbies and explore that. u can have no idea abt ur job but know ur friends well. u can be alone but know what you're most passionate about. its gonna be ok.

#wooahaes.txt #btw i do not regret my degree and i never will!!! i might have moments where i might but i genuinely loved getting to study my passions #and i think that its helped me become who i am today to stay on that path

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juns the kinda guy who would start meowing back at my cat when she decides she needs to speak her mind

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[wooahaes]

cheol is the kind of person who emits this aura of 'you are safe with me.' i think you see it most in the tender way he looks at the others and the way he stands up for them when he needs to. but even aside from knowing that, he just has this look of being a giant teddy bear of a person, like he's a big brother you can depend on (and sometimes he'll tease, but that just comes with the vibe). the kind of dude u could trust with ur drink at a party because he knows some people are horrible, and he's honored you would trust him. he just has this energy of 'someone needs to choose kindness and i'm going to do it every day even if it hurts sometimes' if that makes sense

#wooahaes.txt #deep in my cheol thoughts tonight

[wooahaes]

how do we feel abt dad!jeonghan returning for december fics......

#wooahaes.txt #which. reminds me i need to schedule the ones ive written #ill do tht when i get back from town probably #idk i just like writing dad!jeonghan <3

[wooahaes]

i wanna do something w casual touch. like someone playing w ur hair, or ur bracelets, or pulling ur legs into their lap just to have u closer in a way. i saw one gif of i think it was seungkwan playing w vernons ear in such a casual way and idk i think it set me off on thinking abt casual physical intimacy like. playing w someones fingers idly. playing w the hair at the back of his neck.

#wooahaes.txt #im touch starved dont look at me

[wooahaes]

streamer or youtuber wonwoo au where hes playing a game w reader (not a streamer or youtuber, just his partner) that they know Very well and he doesnt but every time they die (they're playing on the hardest difficulty), they pass the controller to the other and its just. them being cute. ppl notice how wonu admires reader a lot whenever they play and he just has a soft lil smile on his face bc theyre so in their element and talking abt lil fun facts theyve picked up over time....

#wooahaes.txt #this is specifically me thinking abt k/h with wonu

[wooahaes]

if ive ever answered what my fave trope to write is and it wasnt "idiots to lovers" then i was wrong bc its idiots to lovers. i love writing two dummies pining for each other and being so painfully obvious to everyone but themselves. everyone else is sitting there like bro... bro just kiss already.... while these two are like omg woww ur hair is so soft omg ur so cute haha <3

#wooahaes.txt #idiots to lovers aka it can be literally any other trope too #besties to lovers? rivals to lovers? strangers to lovers? #they can all be dumb around each other <3 #it just has the extra layer of 'we are so oblivious to each other <3'

[wooahaes]

have i ever mentioned i think svt should jokingly release english names for themselves and all go around introducing themselves but have joshua toward the end so he can be like "yeah hi im kyle :)" or some shit

#wooahaes.txt #this is only funny to me but i feel like he would find like. some actual obscure name and play it completely straight #while everyone else is losing it or something idk

[wooahaes]

also ngl wild that the soulmate series was technically all because i sliced my thumb open on a can of carrots and went “man itd be fucked up if someone else could feel my pain considering how clumsy i am”

#wooahaes.txt #the chicken pot pie was good tho i should make it again sometime tbh

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mark would get into a rap battle with a baby and bow out respectfully bc the babys spitting bars. how can he beat that? did u hear those babbles? he just cant win, man, you can't expect him to come back from that

#wooahaes.txt #the same goes for vernon tbh vernon has the vibes of someone who would get into a rap battle with his own baby

[wooahaes]

i wanna talk about it, so i'm gonna talk about it.

cw for death & loss of a family member, mental health issues, shitty family relationships, suicidal thoughts. just... it's a lot of my thoughts because i need to get them out, end of.

i knew what i signed up for when i told my parents i would be the one taking care of grandma when she entered into hospice. i grieved then, i think, and that's why i've been so... okay now, in a sense. like, it hurts, but it doesn't feel like a new pain. it feels like that phantom ache you get when you think about past heartbreak, or how i feel when i remember my long-time best friend and i aren't speaking to each other anymore because we just drifted apart. i think now i feel both guilty and relieved. relieved that she's no longer struggling because i know my grandma always hated feeling like she's a burden (she's not and she never was, no matter how often we told her this) and being so reliant on us.

and guilty because i had a breakdown in the days leading to her death because everything had weighed down on me so heavily. i hate the things i thought in the heat of the moment while i was sobbing one night after she'd gone to sleep, so angry because of how much things had changed. she was getting worse. the nurse had taken out the catheter because she just couldn't do it anymore, so i was constantly being called to help her with that. i was tired. i just wanted to sleep, and my sleep schedule became this ugly, messy thing of sleeping when i could and being called every 1-2 hours (3 if i was lucky, and i've never been lucky).

i feel guilty that dad was the one who found her. i don't think she struggled. i think it was just... one minute she was here, trying to sip a gatorade, and the next she was gone. i'm glad she didn't struggle. i'm glad she's no longer struggling, even though i miss her. i wish i had eaten dinner with her more often, but she always shooed me away because of that feeling of being a burden. i didn't want to argue with her, so i did what she asked for me. but it's so strange because dad found her, woke me up, and we just... the shock broke both of us, we both cried. he called my mother, i called hospice, and within an hour, we had calmed down and were working on what comes next.

and then an hour later, we were all sitting together with the hospice nurse, waiting for the funeral home to come and get her, and we were laughing over stories. it was so strange. it was almost like we had all moved on quickly, except no one had because there was this tension in the air. i think if we hadn't been laughing and talking, we would have been crying. i think i'm honestly grateful that we were laughing.

i told a lot of my close friends. i vaguely posted here because i knew i'd talk about it more later, but i told my friends pretty much outright. initially it was shock posting, of me breaking because it happened so suddenly. and then i talked more with people. i decided that i just wanted normalcy for the most part, that i'd reach out to people or talk with them all if i needed to talk.

it just feels so weird. life moves so fast. i just want it to slow down for a minute.

the funeral is this afternoon and i'm not going. my parents understood even though my mother won't stop bitching about how she wishes i would go so she doesn't have to. i know it's because it's physically hard for her to go, but she's not the one who spent almost 6 weeks caring for grandma around the clock. she's not the one who was emotionally and physically exhausted by the end of it, the one who woke up every day wishing to kill herself because all of the stress was getting to her.

our relationship was actually good for a minute, but now she's back to being the bitch she's always been. one of my friends said something about the way his step dad used to be: if he was having a bad day, then everyone had to feel the effects of it. and while he grew, my mother's always been this way and always will be this way. she's never going to change. if she was, she would have changed by now. she knows she's hurt me. she's asked for forgiveness not because she felt remorse, but because she's worried about not getting into heaven or whatever. i wish she'd just realize we're never going to agree on anything, so avoid those topics so that we can pretend we're fine because i leave and never speak to hr again. it's what i do.

we're moving into my grandma's house. it was left to us in the will, and now it feels weird to go through so many of her things. we've already made the decision to donate her clothes (she was a tiny woman and all of us are very much not tiny) to a women's shelter in our city. we're slowly going through things, figuring out what we're selling, what we're keeping, what just needs to be thrown out. it feels like no one else here cares even though i know my dad does. he's lost both of his parents now, after all. it's hard on him and he's never going to show it because he's never been an emotional man.

i'm so tired. i just want all of the hard parts to be over now.

#wooahaes.txt #sorry to offload all of this and i hope no one reads it unless they want to #i'm just... very tired and no one is online #my friends have been so so sweet about things and i appreciate them so much #also thank you to those who left kind words for me on that other post. its hard and i appreciate the kindness a lot right now

[wooahaes]

svt fic where reader jokingly puts in “send ur cutest delivery guy” as a request and it sparks a long argument between all 13 members abt whos the cutest. not all of them even are delivery guys tbh theyre just like obviously they meant ME, the guy making their pizza 🙄 who else could they mean

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[wooahaes]

tbh idk what ill do w the idea but sometimes i think abt pianist seokmin x violinist reader au. i have nothing else to it but either theyre a famous couple who plays together or they end up pushed together by fate and end up falling hard for each other

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[wooahaes]

svt smau where everything in the plot plays out normally but at the very end josh (absent from the entire au) comes in like 'sorry havent checked my messages in weeks, whats up'

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