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mpileons · 2 months

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behind the goal posts | alexia putellas x reader

chapter 1 <

Summary: Everyone knows Alexia Putellas. Star football player and the face of Barcelona. However, what they don’t know is that she is been in a secret relationship for years, and that relationship is slowly slipping out of her hands.

Word Count: 2.8K

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A/N: i got a bit too carried w/ the angst.. oops. and i didnt proof read this so i apologize for any inevitable mistakes :)

Chapter Two …

Present Day –

As 12AM hits, I find myself still waiting for Ale to come home from training. I decide to call my bestfriend to prevent my thoughts from further spiralling. “Hey chica, wait what's up?” my best friend's voice blares through my headphones as a frown etches onto her face, sensing that something is off with me. “Did she do something?” I start to shake my head because I know if I speak my voice will betray me and all my anxieties will be laid bare for her to see. It’s not that I don't want her to see, more that I don't want to acknowledge any of this. I’d like to believe that Alexia and I are still in that honeymoon, that she’ll come home early and shower me with kisses while we make dinner,that we will go back to watching films while our limbs intertwined till we didn't know whose body is whose. I know deep down that we have derailed so far away, we are slowly plummeting into an abyss of resentment and I don't know how to save us. “Y/N please talk to me” Kira’s voice brings me back to earth, I see the anxiety increasing tenfold on her face as she watches me intently. “I don't know," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper as I fiddle with the strings of my hoodie.

"It's just... Ale was out late last night, and she's still not home. And she's been so distant lately. It’s like I am living with a ghost, I can't shake this feeling that something's wrong." I rush out as quickly as humanly possible, as if I say it fast enough my brain won’t think about it and therefore it won’t become real.

“That’s strange, have you brought it up with her?” Kira's voice held a gentle probing, her concern evident. But then again, I couldn't fault her for that. Our nightly chats had become a lifeline, teetering on the edge of panic. It's strange, really. Ale used to be the one to ease these moments, but now, it's her actions that stir them up.

Present Day | Alexia’s Point of View —

As I step into the dimly lit apartment, the sharp remnants of the night at the club are still echoing in my mind. However, the laughter and camaraderie of my teammates felt distant now, replaced by a hollow emptiness.

I moved through our shared apartment with a sense of detachment, a space that was once so familiar now feels like a ghost town. The weight of exhaustion drags at my limbs as I head towards our room. But as I pass by the closed door, I can hear a snippet of a conversation that catches my attention, drawing me to a sudden halt.

"... it's strange how Ale used to calm me down from these attacks and now it is her that is causing them," Y/N's voice, tinged with worry and frustration, drifted through the door, sending a pang of unexpected guilt coursing through my chest.

For a moment, I stood rooted to the spot, Y/N’s words hanging heavy in the air like an accusation. The weight of her evident disappointment bores down on me like a crushing weight, quickly suffocating and stealing every word out of my mouth. How had I become the source of Y/N's pain, when did this happen?

Without another word, I retreated to the living room where the walls feel like they are closing in around me as the echoes of Y/N's words reverberated in my mind. Hours passed in agonising silence, the tension in the apartment thickening with each passing moment. And then, as if on cue, the dam burst.

Present Day | Y/N’s Point of View —

I took tentative steps to the living room to check if Ale had come home, the faint scent of alcohol hanging in the air further proving that she’s back.

As I rounded the corner, my gaze fell upon Alexia slumped on the couch with her head bowed and a half-empty bottle of whiskey clenched tightly in her hand. Her usually vibrant eyes were now dull and unfocused, the lines of exhaustion etched into her features.

A sudden surge of anger and frustration takes over my body. I naively thought that maybe today would be different, that today Ale would come to me instead of seeking comfort from a bottle.

But as I stood in front of Ale and truly take in the sight in front of me, a different surge of emotions come. I am quickly overwhelmed with a wave of guilt as I watch the woman I love more than anything crumble beneath the weight of her own self-destructive tendencies. No matter what I try to do or say, nothing can seem to get through the indestructible walls she had built around herself, the walls she once used to let down around me.

All of a sudden, I couldn't muster up any anger towards the woman who firmly held my heart in her grasp. I could shove aside my own emotions, even if it meant indulging in self-destructive tendencies, just to care for her.

"Ale," My voice was soft, barely more than a whisper as if my words would fracture her even further. I slowly approached the couch, my heart aching with a pain I couldn't name. "What happened tonight?" I asked while tentatively taking the bottle out of her grasp.

Alexia's head snapped up at the sound of my voice, her eyes glazed and distant as she struggled to focus on me, an effect from her excessive drinking that has become more familiar to me than I’d like. "Nothing," she muttered, her voice slurred with the aftereffects of alcohol. "Just... just another night out with the girls."

My eyes furrow with concern, I try to find any piece of the woman I loved, the woman who would buy me new flowers immediately after the previous flowers died, the woman who would wake up earlier before practice just to spend time with me, the woman who would bring me food to the library while I was drowning in assignments. But all I could see was the shell of that woman. All I could was emptiness and it was killing me. She was killing herself while clutching my heart within her hands, bringing me down with her.

My voice trembled with disappointment as I settled beside Alexia on the couch, the tension between us crackling like electricity. The atmosphere in the room felt heavy, suffused with the weight of unspoken grievances and broken promises. "You promised, Ale," I began, my tone beginning to edge with unbearable frustration as I decide to confront her broken vows. "You swore you'd try to get better, that you wouldn't let this control you anymore. That you would try for me, for us."

Alexia's eyes flashed with a mix of shame and defiance, her fingers stealing the bottle from my hands and tightening around the bottle in her hand as she clearly tried to brace herself for the impending conflict. The lines etched on her face increased tenfold. "I know," she admitted, her voice strained with the evident weight of her own struggles. "But it's not as simple as just trying, Y/N. You don't understand how hard it is. You just don’t."

My patience waned quickly as I met Alexia's gaze, my own resolve beginning to falter under the weight of our unresolved issues. "I'm trying to understand, Alexia," I defiantly retorted, my voice rising slightly with frustration. "But how can I when you won't let me in? You keep shutting me out, pushing me away every time I try to help."

A spark of anger ignited within Alexia's eyes as she rose to meet my challenge, her own frustrations bubbling to the surface. "Maybe if you actually understood what I'm going through, you'd realise that I'm not doing this to hurt you," she shot back, her voice tinged with bitterness. "I'm doing this because I can't bear to see you disappointed in me again."

The raw emotion in Alexia's words further broke my heart, the sting of guilt mixing with her own simmering anger. "I know, but you promised, Alexia," I murmured, my tone quiet but sharp with anger, "It just seems like you don't care about keeping your word anymore. You're drowning yourself in alcohol, and you're dragging us down with you."

I can see Alexia's gaze harden, her own frustration boiling over as she shot back once again, Never one to back down. “Don't act like you're perfect, Y/N. You're always on my case, like you have it all figured out. But guess what? You don't. You never have."

I clench my jaw as I fight to keep my temper in check, I know that Alexia isnt in the right state for this discussion, but her words hold some flicker of truth which is why the words spill out despite my best efforts. "I may not understand everything you're going through, but at least I'm trying. What about you, Ale? Are you even trying anymore, or have you just given up once again?"

The accusation struck a nerve, and Alexia's temper flared, her voice rising to match my intensity. "Of course, I'm trying!" she exclaimed, her hands balling into fists at her sides. "But it's not enough for you, is it? Nothing I do is ever enough!"

My eyes flash with hurt and indignation while my voice trembles with emotion. "That's not true, Ale," I protest, my heart aching at the sight of the woman I adore unravelling right before my eyes. "I just want you to be happy, but I can't stand by and watch you destroy yourself. I can't do it anymore when it is destroying me further knowing I can’t help you despite my best attempts to."

Tears welled in Alexia's eyes as she struggled to contain her rising emotions, the weight of their argument bearing down on her like a crushing weight. "I don't know how to be happy anymore, Y/N," she admitted, her voice breaking with despair. "I feel like I'm drowning, and I can't find a way out."

The distance between us grew with each passing minute, each second driving a deeper wedge between our fractured hearts. And during the chaos of our bitter exchange, I just had a sinking feeling that my love might not be enough to save us from the impending darkness that I know will consume us completely, sooner or later.

Exhausted and emotionally drained, my voice immediately softened, a tremor of uncertainty lacing my words as I try to grind the words I thought I’d never say out loud, not to Alexia, not even in a million years or in a hundred different universes did I think I’d say this to her.. "Maybe... maybe we need some time apart," I suggest, the weight of the admission heavy on my tongue.

Alexia's breath caught in her throat, her eyes widening in disbelief at the suggestion. "A break?" she echoed, the word heavy with resignation and a hint of desperation.

I nod, my own heart aching at the realisation that our relationship might be hanging by a thread. "Just... for a little while," I murmur, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. "To figure things out."

6 Months Ago | Alexia’s Point of View —

As the sun set over the horizon, casting hues of pink and gold across the sky, I led Y/N to a secluded spot in the park since I decided to surprise her with a special outing to a drive-in cinema. I see her eyes widen in surprise at the sight of twinkling fairy lights strung between the trees and a soft glow emanating from a cluster of candles.

With a nervous but determined smile, I take Y/N's hand and lead her to a cozy spot in front of the car. We start to settle onto a blanket spread out in the back of the car, the air filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers and the distant sound of birds chirping.

As we cuddle together under the starlit sky, the screen flickers to life with the opening scenes of "La La Land," Y/N's favorite film, I had put that somewhere in the depths of my mind when she told me, knowing it will somehow be important later on.

During an especially poignant moment in the film, I reach into a nearby picnic basket and pull out a carefully crafted scrapbook that took me longer than I’d like to admit. After all I am athlete not an artsy person. But for her, it’s all worth it.

I watch as she curiously flips through the pages, her eyes widening in surprise and delight as she sees photos of our many movie nights together, interspersed with handwritten notes and film strips capturing precious moments we’ve shared over the last few months.

My hands start to lightly tremble while I intertwine Y/N's hand with mine, as I feel her hand fitting perfectly into mine, a warmth spreads through me, comforting the trembles that threaten to give away my nerves. "Y/N," I start, my voice barely above a whisper but laced with the depth of my feelings, "I never imagined that one person could fuel my heart with such love and devotion, I can’t even imagine my life without by my side and I ..."

Y/N's eyes meet mine, shimmering with unshed tears of happiness. Without a word, her gentle nod speaks volumes, affirming the depth of her love and commitment. "Yes, Ale," she murmurs, her voice a soft caress against the night air, "I choose you, now and forever."

Present day | Y/N’s Point of View —

Before I can even take a step forward, a familiar blonde head of hair envelops me, momentarily throwing off my balance. "Geez, Leah, trying to knock me over?" I chuckle, returning the embrace of my lifelong friend. Football was never my thing before Ale, but Leah and I go way back to our days in the primary school astronomy club, and our bond has only grown stronger since then. Proving our friendship to be stronger than any time zone or country.

"How do you manage to shrink every time I see you? Is there something in the water in Barca?" Leah teases as she takes my luggage from my grasp and leads the way to her car. I just shake my head at her usual antics, gazing out at the Heathrow Airport parking lot. London. I haven’t been back home in years, never felt the need to with Ale around, but now that I've lost her, it feels like I've lost my home along the way as well. The realization hits me like a punch to the gut, leaving me feeling nauseous. In just a few days, I've lost everything that mattered.

Hours later, after battling the infamous London traffic, we finally arrive at my flat. It's a sad time capsule of my past life. Remnants of old friendships and memories linger in every corner, a stark reminder that while I've changed, the world around me has kept on spinning. That time waits for no one, and as I sink deeper into my thoughts, Leah's concerned voice breaks through the silence. "Are we going to talk about it, or are we gonna keep pretending like nothing's happened?" she asks, her honesty cutting through the tension. I join her on the couch, resting my head on her shoulder with a heavy sigh. "I don’t know," I admit, uncertainty weighing heavily on my mind.

“Cmon, as your favourite bestfriend I think i deserve more honesty than that.” She tries to lightly joke, but I know her words hold some level of honestly. And the words hit me harder than I expected, and for a moment, I find myself at a loss for words. She's always been there for me, through the good times and the bad, but this... this feels different. It's not just a bump in the road; it's a complete upheaval of everything I thought I knew. I know nothing anymore.

"I know," I finally say, my voice barely above a whisper. "It's just... it's all so overwhelming, you know? I thought I had everything figured out, but now... now I don't know what to do."

Leah quickly wraps an arm around me, pulling me closer in a comforting embrace. "It's okay not to have all the answers," she reassures me, her voice soft but firm. "Just take it one step at a time. We'll figure it out together. You still have me no matter what. You know that.”

I nod, grateful for her words of wisdom. But even as I try to take comfort in her presence, a nagging feeling of unease lingers at the back of my mind. How do you move forward when everything you once knew has been shattered right in front of you? Where do you even begin?

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women-are-hot · 2 years

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You And I (Joelle Smits)

Summary: joelle and y/n have been hiding their relationship for a few months, but a day at camp two of their friends found them being all over each other.

Warnings: literally just fluff.

Note: i kinda really love joelle, so they’ll for sure be other fics with her in the future. also a big thanks to the person that made this gif. two people actually made a few for me, so thank youuu!

I was on my plane right now on my way to the Netherlands.

We're finally going to a national camp once again. I feel like it's been years since the last one.

I also get to see my girlfriend, Joelle. It's also been a long time since I saw her, because she plays for Wolfsburg and I play for Chelsea and then the pandemic didn’t help.

It's actually only our families that know that we are together.

We should probably soon tell our friends, but we will keep it a secret a little longer.

—

I was finally in Amsterdam, so I took an uber to the hotel.

I walked into the hotel and there my best friend stood, Jill Roord.

She was also playing for Wolfsburg. She had actually just moved there from Arsenal.

I runned to her and jumped into her arms, since she was higher than me.

"I missed you, little one" Jill said and smiled, knowing I hated that nickname, cause I was very short.

"At least I'm not as short as Daan," I replied sassy.

I then got hit on the back of my neck. I looked around and there Daan stood looking angry.

"You are not that much taller than me," Daan said, pissed.

I just laughed at her.

"Did you hear the keyword 'taller' ?" I teased her.

Daan just pushed me for fun and pulled me in for a hug.

I had really missed my dutch football family.

—

After some time talking and catching up, we got our roommates.

I was rommed with Jill as always.

Joelle was rommed with Shanice and I know Jill & Shanice hang out often together, so maybe, Joelle and I can get some time alone together.

We actually have not said anything to each other, but we're hopefully gonna do it soon.

"Hey Y/n. Are there any teammates you fancy?" Jill asked me suddenly when we got inside our hotel room

"From club or national team?" I replied.

Jill then smiled, probably because I didn't say no.

"Club" she said and we sat down on the bed.

"Nobody" I answered,

Jill's smile then got even bigger.

"Do you fancy any of our teammates?" she asked me excitedly.

I smiled, thinking about Joelle.

"Who got you so smiley" Jill teased me

"Well" I started.

Jill then begins to jump around the room.

"Omg. You’re so in love" she said.

I just laughed at her.

"But the question is, who is the lucky girl?" Jill asked.

I blushed, but I don't know if I actually should tell her about Joelle.

"Okay. Maybe I have a little crush on Joelle, but please don't tell anyone" I answered.

Jill just looked at me with a big smile.

"I promise to not tell anyone, but maybe we can invite Shanice and Joelle out on a walk later. Then you can talk with her" Jill said.

I smiled at her, almost laughing cause I was literally in a relationship with Joelle.

"Yeah, that would be cool" I responded and hugged her.

—

We were now going to go on a walk with Shanice and Joelle.

I was very excited, because it had been a long time since I had seen Joelle.

So I hope we get some alone time.

"Are you ready?" Jill asked me

"Yep. Let's go" I answered and we then got out of our room.

We walked down to the lobby and saw Joelle and Shanice already standing there.

"Took you long enough," Shanice said with a laugh.

"Jill took forever to choose a freaking outfit" I replied and we all laughed at Jill.

We decided to walk around in the city, maybe find some place to eat at.

Jill and Shanice were going a little in front of Joelle and I, so we had some alone time.

"So has Germany been good?" I asked her.

"Yes. It's amazing being in Wolfsburg. There are many great challenges and the girls are fun too, but I still miss my girl" Joelle answered with a sad smile.

I looked around and saw no one was around, so I decided to kiss Joelle on her cheek, hoping no one but her saw it.

"I miss you too," I said.

Then Joelle licked her lips, took my hand and followed us to a place where no one could see us.

There was not much space, so I was pressed against the wall with Joelle standing right in front of me.

Joelle then kissed me, slow and meaningful.

We just stood there kissing for some time, then we stopped, cause we both needed air.

"I miss you so much, love. I hope one day I get to kiss you every time I wake up in the morning and every time I go to bed" Joelle said and took a deep breath.

I smiled at her fast talking,

"I miss you too, babe. Every freaking day," I responded.

Joelle then kissed me once again.

I then remembered that Jill and Shanice also were on this little trip.

"Babe, what about Jill and Shanice?" I asked Joelle, as I stopped kissing her.

"Oh, you are probably right. Maybe we could ask to switch rooms. So we could spend the night together" Joelle responded with a little cocky smile.

I blushed a bit at her smile, since she was just so hot.

"Yes, but just so you know, I told Jill that I had a crush on you" I said.

Joelle didn't answer, she just smirked.

"You have a crush on me?" she asked

I rolled my eyes. Joelle laughed and then kissed me again.

"Save that for later" she whispered in my ear.

I gasped at her dirty mind.

"Come on. Let's go" she said and took my hand.

We then got out of the place. I didn't even know what it was, whatever.

We walked for some minutes then Jill called me

"Hi Jill. WHere are you guys? We can't find you" I asked her.

"We're at the sushi place a little longer down the city, but we should actually ask where you guys are. Are you in the toilet fucking each other or something?" Jill said with a laugh.

"Seriously Jill. We were just talking like normal people and then you guys just poofed away" I replied.

"Okay. Let's just say that. Now bye, my sushi is coming" Jill said and hung up right after.

Weirdo!..

I then looked at Joelle and took her hand.

—

Joelle and I then found Jill and Shanice at the sushi place.

I sat down beside Jill and ordered some sushi.

"I saw you two hold hands. What was that about?" Jill whispered to me

I looked at her with big eyes.

"Nothing happened Jill. Trust me. We just talked about Germany and how things are going for her" I whispered back.

"Yeah right" Jill said.

I rolled my eyes at her and then saw the sushi come to our table

"Finally bro. I want sushi now" I said, making the girls laugh at me.

—

When we were done eating, we walked back to the hotel.

"Hey Jill and Shanice. Would it be okay if we switch rooms, so Y/n and I could room together?" Joelle asked them.

"Of course. Y/n, let's get your things into Joelle's room" Jill answered with a smirk.

I sighed as I walked with Jill to our room.

"This is your chance Y/n" Jill said.

"Whatever" I replied as I rolled my eyes at her.

I took all my things and walked into Joelle's room.

Only Joelle was there in her bed, so I jumped into her arms.

"Take it eyes, babygirl" she said and kissed me.

I deepened the kiss and took control, but that didn't last long, cause Joelle took her hands to my butt and flipped us around, so she now was on top of me.

She deepened the kiss even more and took her tongue into my mouth.

We were so lost in the kiss that we didn't hear the door open and Jill and Shanice came inside.

"What the fuck is going on" Jill yelled, so we could hear it.

Both Joelle and I jumped, surprised when we saw them stand right there.

"Uhhh-" Shanice didn't give me the chance to finish

"When did this happen?" she asked with her mouth open, probably still shocked.

"We have maybe been dating for some time" Joelle replied with a nervous smile.

"For how long?" Jill asked.

"9 months" I answered and laughed nervously.

"Shanice, you owe me some money," Jill said with a smile.

I looked at her confused.

"You made a bet on my dating life?" I asked her.