#y'all just think that you're entitled to relationships with a women even if they don't want you

[with-the-flickers-of-light]

Ok, so.

[deep breath]

Since this is a Taylor Swift fan blog (even if it's one with zero (0) followers), it feels important to address my thoughts on the Matty Healy situationship.

Warning, this is going to be a post critical of the relationship. I absolutely do not believe that being a fan means that I have to support all of Swift's decisions. Also, content warning for swearing, light discussion of exploitative/abusive pornography, anti-Semitism, racism, sexism, and just general shittiness.

If you want anything tagged or fact-checked, please let me know!

Before diving in, my general thoughts on celebrity relationships:

As a general rule, I don't believe in speculating about celebrities' relationships. I am only really looking into Healy now since the publicization of the Swift/Healy relationship seems to be quite intentional at this point. And while I don't believe in holding women to a higher standard than men, or in erasing their professional achievements to gossip about their personal lives, I also believe that we as consumers get to choose who we support. Professionals are entitled to privacy, yes, but "privacy" is not a free pass to ignore moral wrongs.

For me, my basic stance is that I understand "The Man", but that many of the behaviors discussed therein should not be appropriate for anyone, whether a man or not. So no, this isn't about me being a misogynist and overriding Swift's professional achievements with gossip about her love life. This is about me pointing out that no one is free from accountability -- whether or not the media holds you accountable, somebody will.

I do believe the rich and famous have at least some responsibility to do good in the world. You have privilege, you have a platform. Hell, the world could refuse to ever give you another cent and you'd probably remain better-off for the rest of your life than most people. And especially if you choose to cultivate parasocial relationships with your fans, you have to realize that making shitty choices will feel like personal betrayals to them. As a celebrity, you know that your public decisions will be held under scrutiny and that they will impact the general population, because you hold influence.

And finally, on the nature of romantic relationships: I identify as aromantic-asexual, so I will be the first to admit that I do not understand all the urges that go into dubiously intelligent relationships. Nonetheless, I hold that while attraction may be involuntary, a relationship is a choice. (There are, of course, cases of abuse where the "relationship" is really not a choice on one side, but based on all we've seen I do not think Swift/Healy is one of them.)

That said, we arrive at the issue of Healy.

Healy is not the kind of person I am interested in supporting, financially or otherwise. I'm not going to list off all his crap -- it's well-known enough to be on Wikipedia at this point. (Which I hear is in a bit of an editing war? Never a good sign, y'all.) This post is about my response, because you can find the facts elsewhere (and you've probably already read them elsewhere).

If he was middle-of-the-road questionable -- like, if all he did was eat raw meat -- it could be excused. Whatever, I'm not going to ever be a fan of that, but I'm also not going to give a damn aside from doing a double-take at the headline and then sighing.

The licking fingers and kissing fans thing... that's. A, uh. It's a choice. That's the point where I'm kind of like... what? But sure, I guess you could argue that it's a morally gray area, because it's weird, and dubiously consensual, but I dunno, fans could be into that or something? Definitely not something I'm into, but pending further investigation on the case, I could bring myself to just roll my eyes at another trashbag.

And then we get into his recent, shitty statements. "It was just a joke/ironic/satire" is a bullshit excuse and in the year 2023, we all know it. If you're a celebrity who has a PR team, I sure as hell know that you know it. I am willing to forgive misguided jokes if they were from a bygone era and the offender has since apologized for the harm they caused.

Hell, maybe I could bring myself to accept the "ironic Nazi salute"; sure, maybe he was trying to bring awareness to Trump/Kanye-gate by drawing that parallel. I could convince myself that he really was acting in good faith, because there is a maybe possibly potentially decent outcome he could've been angling at.

To be clear, I don't believe it. I think we all know to not do the Nazi salute, even in satire.

But even if I did, well.

I am not willing to forgive Healy "joking" about masturbating to exploitative pornography of black women in the year 2023, without even an apology (to the best of my knowledge). I'm not going to speculate on whether or not he really was joking, but whether it was a fact or a joke, it's fucking disgusting. Whether it's a stage personality, a joke, an ironic comment, or satire, if it's you causing harm, then it's shitty. At best, it's ignorant and reckless; at worst, it's... I don't even know what to say. And again, in the year 2023, it's not hard to tell what could be harmful in said "joke" about porn, so I don't put much stock in the "ignorant" column.

There is no possible good outcome from a "joke" like that, which means there is no possible positive spin for me to try to play. There is no reason to be that shitty.

The evidence is clear and simple, and it leads to the conclusion that supporting Healy is not something I can be at all interested in or tolerant of.

What about the good things he's said?

Well, let's keep this short and sweet: human decency is not a transaction. Good actions don't cancel out bad actions, except for when the good action is a fucking good apology that genuinely seeks to make reparations for the bad action.

Okay, but why should Swift take responsibility for that?

Straight up, whether or not Swift is a "feminist" is irrelevant to this conversation -- this is the standard I apply to people regardless of what beliefs they claim (although it would come with an extra helping of hypocrisy if you do want to claim to support women and POC). What's relevant is that she has chosen to publicly and positively associate herself with a known piece of shit. And being in a relationship with Healy is tacitly supporting his views. There is no way she -- a self-proclaimed "mastermind", a "calculated/smart businesswoman" -- doesn't know this.

There is no professional benefit to associating with Healy, either. The David O'Russell movie could be hand-waved with "it was a professional opportunity". Where the Crawdads Sing could be reasoned away as "separating art from artist". But her dating life is 100% a personal choice. The only benefit to dating Healy is dating Healy. There's no other opportunity here, just the chance to spend time with and tacitly support a dirtbag.

(I know that she knows that "they're nice to me" does not magically make a shitty man a good person. You know how I know that? Because that's what she said during Scooter-gate. So there are no excuses here.)

She is a grown woman fully capable of cognitively processing the consequences of publicly supporting Healy. I don't care what she says in "Don't Blame Me", I am blaming her, because it's her own damn choice. She is making the choice, consciously and with no other benefits, to publicly take the side of someone known for racist and sexist behaviors.

And that's something that we can absolutely hold her accountable for.

Because at this point, supporting Swift is also tacitly affirming Healy's problematic behavior.

So how does this situation resolve?

There are 3 parties in this situation: Swift, Healy, and the fanbase. At least one of us has to step up and do better.

Swift could wake up, realize just how bad this is, and do better.

Healy could have an epiphany where he realizes just how bad his actions have been, and make a concerted effort to do better and make reparations.

We as a fanbase could walk away, because we are unwilling to tolerate the bullshit.

At this point, it seems kind of unlikely that wither Swift or Healy are going to change for the better. That leaves it up to us.

And now for the tricky part: deciding what to do as a fan.

Blech. It's easy enough to come to the conclusion that Swift's recent behavior has been unpalatable. It's harder to figure out what to do about that.

As fans, I know that there are a lot of emotions involved. There's the parasocial relationship that you want to hang onto; there's the importance her music may have played for you personally; there's basic appreciation for the technical construction of her work. And I know there's definitely the undying hope that maybe this is all a misunderstanding and maybe she really is better than this.

Either way, to me, there are 3 steps to getting clean from supporting problematic artists:

Stop public support. There's a time for silence, and there's a time to fucking speak now. Stop wearing merchandise, or repurpose it. Don't keep running a stan account as if nothing has happened.

Stop active financial support. Don't put money into her. Don't buy albums, merchandise, or concert tickets.

Stop passive financial support. That's streaming on Spotify, things where you might not be paying, but she's still getting money.

And then the final step is severing emotional connections. Stop singing her music for fun; stop listening to already-purchased music. I don't include this in the 3-step process because in my opinion, it's not a prerequisite to cut out a problematic artist's art to stop supporting the problematic artist (unless that art is reflective of their shittiness). What you choose to do in private without any interaction with the artist is your own business. It impacts no one but you if you continue listening to your existing downloads of Swift's music.

With all that in mind, for now, I'm not deactivating this blog. I'm going to let my queue finish itself off. And then I'm probably going to write a few reflections on some of her more questionable lyrics, because I do think there are some... interesting things in there that deserve to be discussed.

When all's said and done, though, this blog is probably going to go into indefinite hiatus, because I'm not interested in running a hate-blog, nor am I willing to continue running a fan-blog.

So. Yeah. That's where I'm at.

#taylor swift (critical) #matty healy (critical) #oh my god why was the suggested tag healy x reader slkjfddsf #swift/healy (critical) #essay (ish) #personal #not proofread #why am i like this

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Here's How You And Your Partner Can Engage In Some 'Gratitude Sex'

How grateful are you for your sex life?

Shellie R. Warren

Nov. 22, 2021 06:51PM EST

When I wrote the article on how to have "comfy sex" for the site (check out "What Is 'Comfy Sex'? How Can You Get More Of It?"), someone wrote me and asked, "Where do you get this stuff from?" Honestly, a lot of it I make up although what initially inspired my "different kinds of sex" ideas is a piece that I wrote a while back entitled, "8 'Kinds Of Sex' All Married Couples Should Put Into Rotation." Personally, it is my heartfelt belief that a part of the reason why some people — especially those who are in long-term relationships — find themselves getting bored with sex is that, far too often, they only look at it from a physical perspective. And yeah, if all you're thinking about is how intercourse literally happens and whether or not you're going to get an orgasm from it, not only can that get old, real fast, it can also keep you from experiencing so much more of what coitus has to offer…if you choose to stay open to it.

Since this is the month when all-things-gratitude are the focal point, I figured that now would be as good of a time as any for us to explore what it means to enjoy some "gratitude sex" with our partner. Sex that, yes, let's them know that you are grateful for being able to experience something so precious with them. Yet also taking another approach on gratefulness — sex that is "pleasing to the mind or senses; agreeable; welcome". Ready?

1. Customize Your Presentation

One of the things that I like so much about the place where I get waxed is the atmosphere; especially the bathroom (and I can't say that about many bathrooms, chile). It's super clean. It's decorated in a really warm and inviting way. And it smells amazing. And all of that makes me more comfortable about taking off all of my clothes and going spread eagle in order to get the job done. My point? You know, it's interesting because, when I was having a convo with a husband recently, he said that something that he doesn't think that women recognize a lot is how much ambiance matters to a man. "I know society makes y'all want to think that as long as we can 'get in' we don't care about much else but that's actually some real bulls--t. I like candles. I like soft bedding. I like a sexy scent. Men like the right setting too."

I totally get this because when we take out the time to "set the stage" when it comes to sex, it sends the message that we've put some real forethought into planning out the experience…because that's how much our partner means to us. So, definitely make cultivating ambiance a top priority if you want to engage in some gratitude sex. Even before you touch each other, it lets your partner know just how much you adore them and are grateful to share what's about to go down.

2. Set Aside Some “Atypical Time” for Nothing but Intimacy

Remember how I said in the intro that a definition of grateful is "welcome". I've shared in a different article before that another husband once told me that he's someone who likes lingerie outside of sex. "If a woman only wears it before sex, it sends the message that she thinks that we don't care to see her being sexy AF outside of the bedroom and that's simply not true. Honestly, I like lingerie when my wife is just walking around the house. Once it's about to go down, she can be butt naked for all I care."

An atypical time to wear lingerie. Copy that. Do you know what else men are "welcome" to? An atypical time for intimacy. If you always do it at night, switch things up and initiate in the morning. If the weekends are more your thing, catch him off guard on a Tuesday afternoon. Something else that's cool about gratitude sex is when you aren't caught up in the routine of the act, when you "break code" a bit, you are basically saying, "I am so glad to be with you that I want you now" — and if now is at a random time of the day or night, who gives AF? So be it.

3. Tell Your Partner What You Appreciate About Them. Sexually.

When it comes to the semi-long list of top reasons for why so many couples end up calling it quits (including married folks who end up getting divorced), if there's one thing that I don't see mentioned nearly enough but absolutely should, it's that they don't feel appreciated by their partner. I get why that's so important too because when you appreciate someone, that means you value them, that you are fully conscious and aware of what they mean to you, and yes, that you are grateful for them.

Since the focus of this piece is all about physical intimacy, take a moment and ponder — when's the last time you verbally expressed the things that you appreciate about your partner, strictly as it relates to what happens in your boudoir? Maybe you appreciate how good they are at dirty talk. Maybe you appreciate how they take their time. Maybe you appreciate how much they care about you gettin' yours (and how they are able to tell when you don't). Maybe you appreciate how they pick up on your non-verbal affirmations or the fact that they are fully present, even after the act is over. Far too often, we take people for granted in areas where we think they should automatically know how we feel. If you want to be a master at gratitude sex, never assume — always express.

4. Be Compassionate in Your Foreplay

A grateful individual is typically a pretty compassionate one as well. What do I mean by that when it comes to sex? Well, the main definition of compassion is to see someone suffering on some level and have a desire to relieve it as a direct result. How this can translate into intimacy is, if your partner is totally down but you know they had a long day, how about offering them a massage? Or if it's evident that they are super stressed out, how about giving before receiving (if you know what I mean)? Or if they are feeling a little self-conscious about their body as of late, why not treat their sensitive areas as spots that you want to love on the most?

Synonyms for compassion include empathy, grace, mercy, tenderness, and heart. Putting yourself in your partner's shoes. Giving them favor when their performance may not be totally up to par. Being patient with them the way you want them to be patient with you. Bringing a "Force MDs spirit" into the bedroom (the real ones know). Caring about their feelings and emotions. All of this defines what it means to be a compassionate lover — what it means to incorporate compassion into your foreplay.

5. Speak Your Partner’s (Sexual) Love Language

I say it often because I totally believe it to be so — one of the biggest mistakes that are made, on the regular, in relationships, is folks are too caught up in giving their partner what they want to receive instead of what their partner actually desires. This can be the case in the bedroom too. That's why, last year, I penned "Are You Ready To Apply Your Love Language To Your Sex Life?" for the site because how your partner may want to receive sex may be different from how you prefer to. 

Words of affirmation folks like seductive expressions. Physical touch people are big on erogenous zones. Acts of service individuals appreciate a cleaned bedroom. Quality time folks cherish afterplay (more on that in a bit). Gifts people like a little something that's waiting on their pillow before foreplay transpires. Pretty much, in every area of a romantic relationship, you can never go wrong with knowing what your partner's love language is. When it comes to sex specifically, do you? And if so, do you speak it fluently?

6. Fulfill a Sexual Fantasy

Again, another definition of grateful is "pleasing to the mind or senses" and fulfilling a sexual fantasy of your partner (as they do the same thing for you) definitely qualifies. When I'm in sessions with married folks (especially ones who have a somewhat extensive sexual history with other people), I'm big about pushing them to fulfill fantasies. Why? Well, aside from the fact that it's erotic as all get out, oftentimes a fantasy is something that hasn't actually manifested outside of one's mind…yet. 

So, if one or both people are feeling a little uncomfortable or insecure about their partner's sexual past, something that can help to "drown out" those emotions is to create new experiences with one another because, I can almost guarantee you, that no matter what you and/or your partner may have already done, there are still things on your sexual bucket lists that you still have yet to do. Do those things together. What in the world are you waiting for? Because having a whole set of customized sexual memories is definitely something to be truly thankful for.

7. Get into Eye Contact Sexual Positions

Wanna know if someone is truly present with you? Wanna know if you are truly present with someone else? Maintain eye contact. You know, I actually read an article that said when folks go out of their way to avoid making eye contact, it can mean that there are walls up, they don't trust you, or that they aren't being very genuine. And while I wouldn't say this 100 percent applies, across the board, in the bedroom (because some sexual positionsavoid all eye contact and yet are still pleasurable like a mutha), I do think that if you and yours are never in some variation of the missionary position, that should be discussed — because if there is a time when you should want to feel like you are totally connecting with your partner, it's when he's inside of you and again, eye contact helps to make that happen.

8. Make Afterplay a Top Priority

A complaint from women that I tend to hear a lot when it comes to sex is how often men will fall asleep, immediately after sex. In response, what I typically remind ladies of is the fact that science is the underlying reason. After men ejaculate, they release a considerable amount of the biochemical prolactin. When that happens, it causes them to feel tired and drained which is why they want to fall asleep. This is where the article, "Sure, Your Foreplay Game Is On Point. Now What About The 'Afterplay'?" comes in. Although I don't know many men who want to have a full-on deep discussion following sex, cuddling counts as afterplay. So does snacking on something or even watching a movie together (even if he only lasts for half of it).

The main thing that I like so much about afterplay is it's a reminder, to both people, that your partner is not just some random jump-off. What I mean by that is, it's not uncommon for casual sex partners to get off and get up and go. On the flip side, when you truly care about someone, you tend to want to cherish time together as you bask in the afterglow. If you want another way to show your partner how grateful you are for sharing such an intimate time and space with them, make sure that afterplay is on the agenda. It makes sex very…sweet. It really does.

9. Pillow Talk About Each Other’s Sexual Goals

Famed author Zig Ziglar once said, "What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals." And yes, I am big on encouraging couples to set short and long-term sex goals with one another. It helps to keep them from getting stuck in a sexual rut. It encourages them to step outside of the box and try new things. It gives them something special to look forward to on a regular basis. It challenges them to rise above their sexual status quo. 

It conveys that they are not only prioritizing their sex life, but they are proactively looking for ways to make it better than ever. So yeah, two people who use their pillow time, at least a couple of times a month to set some solid sex goals are two people who think their sex life is just as important as every other part of their relationship — and when you've got a partner who thinks this way…how can you not be grateful for that?

10. Keep a “Sex Gratitude Journal”

One more thing. Something that I think all people should have is a sex journal. You can read more about that via the article, "The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)." Along these same lines, something that I think all couples (who are in an exclusive sexual relationship) should have is a sex gratitude journal. I'm telling you, there is something that is very thoughtful, very endearing, and very special about two people who literally make the time to handwrite thoughts, moments, and experiences that they shared with one another, sexually, that they are truly thankful for; especially when they make sure to put a date and time on their entries. Then, when things are a little challenging, one or both feels a bit of a disconnect or it's around the anniversary of the relationship's beginning, they can look through the journal and recall so much that is good about their bedroom chemistry.

So, as you're on the quest to implement more gratitude sex into your life, make sure to cop a fresh journal, to post entries and keep it on your bedroom nightstand. Whether you're the one writing or reading the entries, there's no way that you can put the journal down and not feel valued, adored and even a little horny. Just as sex should make you feel. Always.

Featured image by Getty Images

Want better sex? Science says show more gratitude - Big Think ›

Gratitude Enhances Our Desire to Fulfill Others Sexual Needs ... ›

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[serpenteve]

Gotta love it when dumbasses who aren't even in the fandom and have no clue what's actually happening are spewing their hot takes on us being upset on how leigh talks about us literally calling us a cult and insinuating we're dumb bitches who can only think as far as a fictional jawline, saying how she based that character on her abusive relationship, please learn to stfu if you don't know what you're talking about, she never said that you imbeciles, all she said was the book helped her while she was writing it and getting out of an abusive relationship, y'all need the salvation, and if you don't know the facts and have no reading comprehension don't talk about things that don't concern you, the level of entitlement is insane? So we're not allowed to be upset about character she flip flops about every 2 seconds and specifically encouraged people to ship with her main fl and talked about his complex motives and so many other things, the character who's literally her most popular one from the trilogy, the one she recently used a Fanart of to tell people to watch the show so it gets a season 2, when people learn to mind their own business is the day I'll know peace, you need to have worms in your brain to shit on women regarding a situation that you have no knowledge of beyond a tweet that got put on your tl, if you wanna be condescending at least use Google you swine. Some creatures just need to be banned from sharing their dumb takes altogether for the betterment of humanity.

Honestly, I was so confused when I started seeing this "Leigh based the Darkling off of her abusive ex!" takes because I remember when she made those posts about how her inspiration for the Darkling was the fucking Goblin King from Labyrinth with looser pants and those old posts are still up on her Tumblr.

So then I go and read her IG post and her Goodreads highlights on Shadow & Bone and got even more confused because the only thing she said was that she was in an abusive relationship while she was writing the draft (and I'm relieved she found the strength and courage to leave her ex) but somehow antis are now weaponizing a real woman's trauma for their own stupid fictional ship war?? And it would be one thing if they were just spreading this rumor but now they're actually harassing people, many of whom are abuse survivors themselves, and calling them "abuse apologists". Literally, what the fuck is wrong with people.

And as for Leigh herself flip-flopping on Darklina shippers, I honestly think she's throwing us under the bus because it's easier to paint a part of the fandom as naive stupid cult members instead of examining the plot and character problems readers have been pointing out and been salty about since the book's publication that directly led to 3/4 of fandom literally shipping the heroine with the villain like:

#viv answers #sab salt #anti leigh bardugo #why leigh why #she has her own issues but the antis are next level #and she's just adding fuel to the fire at this point #cw: abuse

[poemmynerdicous]

"16 WAYS ON HOW TO KEEP A MAN"

So you feel like you found the one; he sends butterflies and dragons in your stomach whenever he's around. He calls you beautiful every single second. But for how long? Will you be able to keep him that way? Yes sister, above all reasons, you are responsible, to make him stay. How to? Here are 16 proven and tested ways on HOW TO KEEP A MAN:

1.MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A MAN TO KEEP.

What I mean by this is that make sure you are keeping a "MAN"; someone who's matured enough to have a life-long commitment with you and not just a "BOY" who will have tantrums as much as you also have yours too. So girl, find a man that you'll share your toothpaste in the morning, will dine with you in mid-day, watch movies with you in the night and make wishes with you at 11:11; not someone who's just willing to share bedsheets and bed with you  (y'all know what I mean).

2. MAKE SURE HE'S WILLING TO STAY IN THE FIRST PLACE. Ironic isn't it? As much as the title of this article is concerned, these ways is to help you keep a man. But honey, the old saying goes like this "You can never keep someone who doesn't want to be kept." Make sure that he is very much sincere and inlove with you to make these things work. If this step is not applicable nor not the case with your man, then proceed to number three.

3. ASK HIS ACTIONS IF HE WANTS TO BE KEPT OR WILLING TO BE KEPT THROUGHOUT THE PROCESS.

Finding a man who'll stay is a diamond in the rough nowadays. There are even situations that you can't even have just one, even just one man to consider your own or be your "make-believe" right man because instances, looks and money won't allow you to have one. LMAO. So girl, make sure that if you have a man that you want to spend your life with, his actions says that he wants to be kept or even if he doesn't want to, for the time being, he'll eventually want to stay and see your drooling face in the morning when you wake up as husband and wife one day. Actions speaks louder than words dear. Besides, no toothbrush nor mouthwash will ever prevent a man's lips from lying so better yet make him prove it through actions and sincere efforts.

4. KNOW WHAT HE LIKES AND WHAT HE DOESN'T : A MUST.

It's has always been one of the first step in a long term relationships, may it be friendly or romantic type of relationship. Knowing what he likes and what he doesn't, assure you that you will never go wrong in you choices and actions when it comes to the man of your life. The food he likes, the colors he prefer, the perfume he uses, and even the music he likes. By then, you'll be able to choose easily what to give him in special days and occasions or whenever you feel like giving something that he'll surely like.

4. COOK HIM GOOD FOOD.

Yeah, I know... I know this sounds cliche but hey, it always works sis. The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach. If a woman cooks good food, she will not only make her man stay, but will morelike to win the hearts of the family of his partner too.

5. COMPLIMENT HIS EFFORTS AND PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

It isn't only us girls who wants to be complimented and to be told we are beautiful; men also want to hear from us about what we think about how they look, how his work and efforts are appreciated and how much you like him near you. Simple words like, "I like your shirt", "You smell good", or even "Thank you, Handsome" will definitely melt the macho man inside him.

6. SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH HIM.

It's always given that time is bound to be one of the most important components of long lasting relationships. In men's perspective, they are more likely to stay with a woman who knows how to value time and balance it with work, personal life and of course, time for him. Go out on a date with him, watch movies with him, and do things the two of you enjoys the most.

7. NEVER EVER MAKE YOUR MAN JEALOUS.

For women, we are entitled to be too paranoid at times, thinking that every single girls around our Babe is a threat. But honey, jealousy is different in men. When they're jealous, they tend to keep it as much as they could for the sake of they're manliness. If he says never go out with men he doesn't like the vibes of or men who acts weird around you, just listen to him and do it. So always be observant towards his actions so you'll be able to know if he being a "jelly-oh-jealous" baby. Well, he's a man too. He knows when another man has different intentions because he's been there too; before your relationship ever existed.

8. GIVE HIM TOKENS OF LOVE AND GIFTS SPECIALLY IN SPECIAL OCCASIONS.

Men are definitely not showy most of the time. He will never tell you that he likes the shirt you two ran across the department store nor tell you he wants a birthday present on his birthday. But believe me, he's the happiest when you give him gifts or simple tokens of love. It makes him feel loved and important. I mean, after all his efforts and love, he deserves presents too.

9. KNOW THE BOUNDARIES OF BEING A "GIRLFRIEND" AND A "MOTHER".

Darling, believe me when I say that men feels irritated when their woman act like a "Nagging Mom". You can't go nag all day like a cringey mom that nags at his son 24/7(well that's what most mom's do. LOL). He already have a mom, what he needs is a loving girlfriend.

10. BE NOT TOO TIGHT NOR TOO LOOSE.

What were you thinking when you read this one? Well, whatever may it be, what I mean here is that never ever make your man feel suffocated nor being neglected. Allow each other to have a social life, be with their friends and give a "ME" time for each other. A good amount of air to breathe and waves to feel in a relationship keeps the boat sailing properly.

11. NEVER EVER SLEEP ON BIG FIGHTS AND CONFLICTS.

A small hole in a relationship will eventually grow over time if not resolved right away. Usually, a man compromises the argument just for the sake of fixing everything. But it can never be always like that. It doesn't matter who started the fight, it doesn't matter who's wrong and who's right, because what matters is that you guys know how to say sorry and swallow both of your pride to fix everything. Your man may not tell it to you directly whenever you fight, but it hurts him when he see's you cry.

12. EXERT SOME EFFORT TO LOOK GOOD FOR HIM.

Even though our man tells us that we always look pretty with or without anything in our faces but hey, there's no harm in exerting extra efforts in putting on makeups, spraying perfume and wearing nice dress when you're around him. This is not to actually make you change yourself to someone else or put on heavy, scandalous makeups and clothes just to please him. But the mere fact that he sees that you still try your best to look good for him make him feel that you are still excited to see him and have a good impression from him.

13. TALK ABOUT FUTURE PLANS WITH HIM AND MAKE IT HAPPEN TOGETHER.

Making plans and picturing yourself together for the next years is one of the sweetest thoughts in relationships. Talking about your future with him like your future house, your future kids and other plans in life, will make him see like you are really into him and that you are really committed to end up being with him for the rest of your lives. But of course, your plans together should also be put into actions. Imagine, you two, looking back to those days when you guys are just sketching your dream home then you eventually have one, with your kids with it and still the unconditional love for each other that makes your house, a HOME.

14. NEVER BRING UP YOUR EXES IN THE PICTURE.

Remember this girls, never ever bring up exes in the picture especially when you guys are quarrelling. Never compare him to your exes nor tell him to just go back to her peacocks before. Don't compare him to your exes as if they did better than he does. Well, because if they did, you wouldn't call them exes now, would you?

15. ALWAYS RESPECT EACH OTHERS' FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, AND DECISIONS.

You can never avoid arguments with each other. Knowing that us, women, are usually more sensitive than men, we ought to start arguments; sometimes even the petty things could even up being a huge argument whenever we feel like quarreling with our partner. But beyond any arguments, beyond any doubts and conflicts between the two of you, never ever disrespect each others' feelings. Of course that includes not doing anything that will void your commitment with each other, hurt each others' feelings, tell lies and anything above the sun that can disrespect each others' feelings (in short,don't date nor see another dudes when you're dating a man already, Hun). Respect his personal space if he asks for it. If you want your man to respect you and your feelings, give him it to him too.

16. ABOVE ALL WAYS TO KEEP YOUR MAN:

"TRUST AND LOVE HIM WITH ALL THE CELLS IN YOUR BODY, YOUR MIND, YOUR SOUL AND YOUR HEART."

Sis, believe me when I say trusting him will make him stay. Just like how you like him to trust you. Trusting him will make him see how mature your relationship is, how strong your foundation became, how much you really love him and remind why he loved you in the first place. Trusting him, is loving him. Sure, he could make you cry or will not buy that bag you really wanted, but honey, no man is perfect. So are you. He'll be wrong, he'll commit mistakes, but when the moment he sees you still believe in him and you still trust him despite of his imperfections, he'll think that he will never ever need another woman rather than you.

Being the woman, gives us privileges in relationships, yes. But let us never forget that in a healthy commitment, it will always be give and take. You guys have to assist each other to grow better together and always think that your love for each other is stronger than all the doubts in the world (stronger that Thanos with all the infinity stones with him). So step up your game and prove him that you too, is a diamond in the rough, worthy to be kept with his arms a lifetime~

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