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lightsandlostbells · 5 years

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Skam season 3, episode 9 reaction

Hey everyone! It has been a while since I posted one of these, but I wanted to talk about O Helga Natt around its anniversary. And I also wanted to post this before the bloopers were released, heh.

Talking about this episode and especially O Helga Natt almost makes me want to throw my hands up in the air, because how can I possibly do justice? This is where the story has been heading this whole time; this is what Isak’s story has been building to. It is truly extraordinary film-making and storytelling. Watching it in real time and getting to cry in unison with fans across the globe was one of the most rewarding experiences I've had watching a television show.

Episode 9

Clip 1 - To Isak my son

deLillos’ Hjernen er alene is playing at the start of the clip - an obvious reference to episode 5 cuddle scene. Also Tarjei is a big deLillos fan so that’s cool they used that band.

I have no adequate words to describe Tarjei’s acting in this scene. It’s so good and full that you just want to appreciate it frame by frame, so I apologize if I sound redundant singing his praises.

The irony of the title of this clip - “Life is good” from the “Cherry Wine” lyrics Even sends - should be pretty apparent since life is clearly anything but good for Isak at this time, and anyone still reeling from the hotel scene would not need to be reminded

Poor Isak. He’s gone through hell in the past few hours. Tarjei’s value as an actor is never more apparent than in scenes like this. He can convey so much with his eyes and just the littlest facial reaction. Isak looks so wiped and despondent without being over the top sad. Even his body language tells you so much! The completely deflated shoulders, the stillness. You know how all the energy and happiness has been sucked out of this kid.

Good job Isak for going and looking up mania, by the way. I mean, Wikipedia is maybe not the best source, but he went and educated himself. Though obviously he’s probably burning with more questions, it’s a start.

The section of the Wikipedia article on screen mentions depression, as slight foreshadowing for later in the episode.

Isak’s phone is getting texts, though we don’t see them yet. They must really be like pinpricks to his heart. He must know or guess they’re from Even (or someone connected to Even like Sonja) and he just doesn’t want to deal with it or potentially see more bad news.

It’s only been like 9 hours since the end of the hotel clip. How much sleep do you think Isak got? (None.) Did he cry for hours? Did Eskild give him a hug and make him something to drink?

When Eskild appears in the door and asks if Isak needs anything, Isak doesn’t answer for a moment. Because really, what can he possibly say? What does Isak need in this situation that Eskild can provide? Because no amount of comfort or a cup of tea or anything else is going to change the fact that Even is apparently bipolar and not legitimately in love with him, that this incredible relationship of his dreams was fake. What Isak needs is to be told that last night was a dream and Even walking out of that hotel room didn’t really happen, but Eskild can’t provide that honestly.

Eskild, bless him, is still in the doorway, and he’s weighing what he needs to say. You can tell he wants to say the right thing or at least something that will genuinely help Isak, but the guru is stumped. This is not an experience he’s handled.

Carl also plays this really well. Eskild is dialed down a few notches and what he brings to this scene isn’t Eskild’s playfulness or humor, which would be out of place, but his kindness and desire to help the people he cares about.

What did Isak tell Eskild about how everything went to hell, anyway? The whole story, or the abridged version? Because I wouldn’t be surprised if Isak just didn’t talk much or explain the situation, other than it was over with him and Even, or Even didn’t really love him.

I’m also not sure how much experience Eskild has with something like bipolar disorder, so if Isak in fact told him something like “Even is manic and our relationship was fake the whole time,” he might not have been equipped to explain that’s not how mania works.

When Eskild says, “It will pass, Isak,” Isak is barely reacting (Tarjei’s acting!!!! So subtle but so good!). You can tell the words don’t land like Eskild wants them to - maybe Isak doubts this pain will pass, or he know it will but doesn’t feel like this heartbreak can last anything but forever. But I also think Isak doesn’t want it to “pass” - what he wants is to cling to the happy moments when his time with Even felt more real than anything in his life.

Eskild tells Isak that it might not seem like the heartbreak will pass, but it does. Not gonna lie, I want to know all about Eskild’s heartbreaks, because this part, at least, is him speaking from experience.

Isak doesn’t even reply to that. Not out of rudeness or anything, just because I don’t think he has the words or the energy at this point.

When Eskild says to let him know if he wants to talk, Isak just nods after a few moments. Man, Isak barely speaks in this scene. I mean, most of it is him on his computer, but even when Eskild’s around, he can’t summon more than a few words.

When Eskild leaves, he shuts the door but doesn’t completely close it. It’s open just a little bit, which was very smart and perceptive of him. Isak spent so much of his time shutting himself up in his room (something that Eskild would have noticed) as well as shutting himself off from the people around him, that Eskild is wise not to close the door all the way. By keeping the door slightly open, he gives Isak that one bit of connection to the outside world even if he understands Isak isn’t in the mood for talking or socializing at the moment. It’s just a reminder that Isak isn’t alone.

Isak gets another sound of notification from his phone for a text message, and again, TARJEI’S ACTING. You can see him dreading to pick up his phone and read the message, but he knows that he better do it and rip off the Band-Aid. Or he better read the messages because it’s eating him up not to know.

The texts are of course the lyrics to “Cherry Wine” by Nas and Amy Winehouse. (There’s a typo in the lyrics that I think indicated that Mari or whoever copy + pasted the lyrics from a specific lyrics site that also had the typo, lol.)

Even does a lot of communicating in lyrics and drawings and other artistic or abstract methods, and it’s not different when he’s manic, except that the level is more … fervent, shall we say.

But man. These fucking lyrics. I think it’s clear that Isak doesn’t really get what Even’s trying to say. He associates the lyrics wtih Even’s mania, like Even going too far again and doing too much as with his Pretty Woman fantasy in the hotel room, or with Even’s pre-hotel texts from Thursday night (which are now making more sense to Isak in context). And Isak probably associates them with his mom’s Bible verses that she spams to him at length.

But Even is trying to convey something real to Isak. We don’t know his exact mental state at this time but there’s an obvious sincerity behind the text. He wants Isak to understand. The lyrics refer to the “noise of my head” and to intense feelings - mania, the idea that Even’s emotions are too much to bear. But that the solace in this point is “an immaculate version of me and my baby / With all respect cause you the only one that gets me” - Even is trying to single out their connection and their relationship, especially that Isak gets him. I think he’s trying to remind Isak of what he said about Sonja - don’t listen to her, because she doesn’t get us, you’re the only one - last week, Isak understood what Even was saying about “only you can feel what you feel” and now Isak needs to remember.

“Where is he? The man who was just like me / I heard he was hiding somewhere I can’t see” - Even wonders where Isak is, how he’s doing - he wishes Isak were still there with him. He also singles out the connection he feels, “just like me” - they have a bond and a natural connection.

The lyrics about it being good and pouring some cherry wine - Even wants everything to be okay with them, wants to return to normal, to the place of domesticity and comfort they had prior to what happened at the hotel

“Life is good no matter what” - I think he definitely implies that life is good no matter what with Isak. With Isak, nothing else matters.

Additionally we know Even is a Nas fan, but it’s possible he also selected that song because he knows Nas is something he shared with Isak, Nas is special to the two of them as a duo.

Isak does not know what to make of these lyrics, though. I think he gets maybe a little that Even is trying to reach him and reference their relationship, but he doesn’t understand the depth, and he assumes it’s just manic rambling (again, not helped by the resemblance of Isak’s mom’s texts with her Bible quotes to Even’s texts with song lyrics). Even only thinks he feels this way about Isak. It’s so painful.

Isak’s reply to Even is something that, on the one hand, I completely understand from an emotional perspective, but on the other, I yelled “NO!” when I read the subs. I get it, it has been a very long night and Isak is still confused as fuck, he’s only beginning to process what happened and make sense of it via Wikipedia, and he thinks that their relationship was all fake. He needs space, he needs to not get more messages from Even that will confuse him. And yet, this is of course painful as hell and you want to yell at Isak not to send that message.

I think a lot about what Even was going through after the hotel scene, and this is really one of the most heartbreaking parts for me to imagine from his POV. He’s trying to reestablish this connection with Isak and assure him that their love is real and emphasize the singularity and importance of their bond, and instead Isak sends him this short, blunt message that doesn’t give away any warmth toward Even and asks him to stop contacting him (for now, anyway). Imagine how Even felt reading that message. All of his worst fears are coming true. Isak has seemingly rejected him on the basis of his mental illness, Sonja has intervened … “life is good” with Isak, but Even can’t have life with Isak, it seems.

“Slutt å meld meg” - stop texting me - that’s kind of an echo of the end of episode 7, where Isak asks Even to break up with Sonja or let him be, except this time Even can’t run to him.

I fucking love how Isak writes the message and then hesitates before sending it, and then when he does send it, he does it quickly and forcefully to get it over with before he changes his mind. Almost like it pains him to send the message, too.

Guys, I cried the first time I saw this scene, and I’m tearing up now. When we hear the sound of the new text message coming in, we expect it to be Even again. It wouldn’t be unlikely for Even to reply something soon after Isak sent him something, even a brief acknowledgment like “OK, I’m sorry.” Although from Isak’s reaction, I wouldn’t be surprised if more likely he thought Even was so manic that he couldn’t stop himself from texting lyrics and other things that would confuse Isak. And if you were watching this scene in real time, or even binge-watching it after the fact - all that is on your mind, probably, is the hotel scene, Even’s mental illness, and Isak’s heartbreak. In real time, we were all a mess speculating what would happen to Even and to Evak and crying over the hotel clip. I mean, Julie had to apologize to her own crew for inflicting such torment on them! She had to post an “Alt er Love” to her own Instagram to keep us from losing hope! So I think most of us, in that chaos, forgot about what happened at the start of that hotel clip, when Isak carefully types out that text to his mom where he comes out and tells her that it will be OK. Hell, I think Isak forgot that he did. He got distracted by Even surprising him with the suite and them having sex and eating burgers and getting the creeping feeling that something was wrong with Even, and then obviously everything that happened once Even left the suite naked. Coming out to his mom must feel like ages ago even though it wasn’t even 24 hours.

You see Isak dreading that next text message, and then picking up his phone and staring at it, and for a long moment we the audience don’t get to see the text itself, we only get to see Isak’s stunned reaction to it. Whatever it was, it wasn’t something he expected.

Julie is honestly really gifted at timing and editing the actors’ reactions for emotional impact, and this is one of the best examples in the show. That extended pause is so we can just soak in Isak’s astonishment and Tarjei’s wonderful acting, the slow, small smile that gradually starts across Isak’s face. That delay before we get the beautiful message, and it wasn’t what we expected, but it was exactly what we needed in this moment of hopelessness. We had forgotten about the text to Isak’s mom, and likely so did Isak, but her reply came at the best possible time, with the best possible message.

This is one of the moments that solidifies the 21:21/birth/rebirth metaphor, like this is actually the scene that demonstrates it was a deliberate choice by Julie rather than some random happy accident where Julie unintentionally created that symbolism and zealous Skam fans overanalyzed it. We find out from the text message that Isak was literally born at 21:21 on June 21, and maybe it’s a lot of 21s but it works, we know that his literal birth is connected to his spiritual rebirth.

Mama Valtersen telling him that she will love him always is so reassuring. Especially when Isak is doubting someone else’s love (Even’s) is real, it’s extra good to be told he will always be loved by someone.

Also I just loved the way she said it? It feels like Biblical and epic to me, and her Bible texts haven’t always been the warmest and fuzziest but here’s one where the tone adds to the message. She has loved him from the moment she saw him.

Additionally, not to make this touching mother-son reunion all about Evak, but … guess who else has had significant feelings for Isak from first glance?

To expand on that topic, though, I do think while Isak’s relationship with his mom obviously serves its own purpose and has its own weight in Isak’s life and his arc, it also serves as a mirror of sorts to his relationship with Even. Obviously one is familial and one is romantic, but these are two mentally ill people he loves and chooses to accept in his life. Isak’s father doubted that his mother would be able to accept Isak with a boyfriend, but when given the chance to speak for herself, she subverts those expectations and reveals that she will always love Isak, conveying her acceptance of his sexuality. Sonja thinks Even’s feelings for Isak aren’t real, but when Even gets to speak for himself (particularly in the O Helga Natt text,but really any time he’s with Isak) he subverts her expectations and makes abundantly clear that he loves Isak and that his feelings are real. Two mentally ill people subverting the expectations of others who try to speak for them. Two mentally ill people Isak will decide that his life is better off including rather than rejecting.

That tear rolling down Isak’s cheek. He has likely cried so much in the past few hours, but now he’s crying over something positive rather than something painful.

I don’t think Isak realized exactly how much he wanted her to accept him until he read that message. Just the sheer relief of it! I kinda feel he always kept that fear at bay, out of sight, just like his relationship with her. Trying to minimize her importance, such as in the locker room scene. Like well, if she doesn’t approve of his sexuality, he doesn’t fucking care. She’s not in his life anyone. Who gives a shit what she thinks? (But of course he really does care and it’s been giving him anxiety all season.)

The way Isak holds the phone to his chest, over his heart, like he’s going to hold on to this feeling. The intense relief, that his mom accepts him. The hope that maybe their relationship isn’t dead and buried. It’s just what he needs at this moment.

Clip 2 - Magnus saves 2016

Jonas and Mahdi are having a conversation about Dennis Rodman and “Kim.” At first I was like … Kim Kardashian? And I was prepared to write this huge screed about how great it was that Isak mentioned Eskild’s interest in Kim Kardashian as a thing that marked him as too gay or gay-gay in the Pride clip, but now we had two apparently straight boys also talking about Kim Kardashian to subvert those expectations. And then I remembered that oh yeah, Dennis Rodman is pals with fucking Kim Jong-un. Wah-wah. In 2018 that seems so much less weird than everything else wrong with the American political hellscape.

Isak shows up with waffles and Mahdi takes that as his cue to exit. SEE YA!

Now the first time I saw this clip, I thought, while it was great, parts of it were a little contrived. (A not-entirely-positive opinion about S3? GASP.) It’s not a big thing and I’m a lot more fond of its role in the season now since I recognize its overall purpose, but one of the parts was that Jonas didn’t know why Isak was gone from school and that Isak hadn’t told him. I do think that I understand why Isak didn’t tell him - he was so depressed that he just didn’t want to talk about it, he wanted to retreat from the world. So I buy that. But I do kind of doubt that Jonas wouldn’t check in with Isak if he had been noticeably absent from class, considering all the bullshit that had just gone down with Isak so recently. Isak missed a week of class not long ago, if Isak is missing again it’s cause for concern.Jonas isn’t a pushy friend and gives Isak his space, so I can expect it from that perspective, though.

This is one of the downsides of Skam’s real time format - sometimes I do feel that they draw out events that would have been covered more quickly, or handled off screen, just so we can see the big reactions and moments in a clip instead of handled briskly in a text. Like I think the real reason Jonas didn’t know was so Isak could tell him in this clip, in front of Magnus, and Magnus could tell him about bipolar disorder.

But also, this season is so good that I can easily overlook nitpicks like this. The show has built up more than enough goodwill at this point, and I do enjoy this scene as a whole.

Anyway, Isak says he’s a bit down, Jonas asks what’s up, ever the helpful bro. Isak says that Even went out naked in the middle of the night and that he’s apparently bipolar, just as Magnus plops down with his mouth full of sandwich.

Oh, Magnus. We thought you were just a fool, but it turns out you’ve got unexpected reserves of wisdom. Kind of a theme in this season, all the people who turn out to have good advice if you just talk to them and listen to what they’re saying!

Magnus casually says his mom is bipolar when he sits down, like it isn’t a big deal at all. He might have said, “My mom’s an accountant,” or, “My mom’s a Libra.” He looks completely chill when he says it.

This is another thing I thought was contrived the first time I saw this clip - that Isak just happened to have a friend with a mentally ill parent with the exact same MI as his boyfriend, who could give him advice on how to handle it - but now I love it.

Think about it: all this time, Isak has been struggling with his relationship with his mom - keeping it kind of vague, really, just alluding to stress and family problems - and all this time, he’s had a friend who also has a mentally ill mother. Someone who has kind of a clue what he’s going through. Magnus’ relationship with his mom is a parallel to Isak’s with his mom, but unlike Isak, he apparently has a very close, seemingly untroubled relationship with her.

Isak learns a lot this season about sexuality, religion, and mental illness, but one of the other lessons he learns - one of the strongest, in my opinion, in how it’s developed in the narrative - is pretty simple: Reaching out to your friends is one of the best resources for help you can get. Imagine if Isak had happened to talk to Magnus much earlier about his mom. Imagine if Magnus had mentioned his mom had bipolar disorder, so that when Even turned out to be bipolar, Isak wasn’t so in the dark about the disorder. I mean, maybe Isak wasn’t at the stage of development where he could accept this kind of message, but still! Magnus wasn’t someone he was super close to like Jonas, but Isak has appeared to know him and hang out with him from like … S1 or S2, actually, and they’re been hanging out regularly for a few months now.I’m not saying everything would have been okay if Isak had been aware of Magnus’ mom earlier, I don’t think it’s that easy, but Isak has been holding back and repressing himself so much, and this knowledge may have helped out his knowledge of both his mother’s and Even’s conditions. It’s when Isak shares his problems with his friends that he can get advice like this.

Isak is so taken aback by this information. Magnus also has a crazy mother?? (Again … all this time, Magnus has had a crazy mother? Magnus has known someone with bipolar disorder? And it wasn’t this huge dramatic thing that Isak would have known about because of the pain and sorrow and stress it caused Magnus? It was just flying under the radar this whole time?)

“She’s not crazy, she’s bipolar.” AHHHHH, MAGNUS. That line is so simple but so important. Magnus treats his mother’s mental illness as a factual condition rather than an area for judgment.

Isak’s interest is piqued. Magnus: not only good for weird hookup anecdotes and BDSM dreams.

He wants to know what Magnus’ mom is like. Magnus is like, my mom is AWESOME. (There’s a text message from one of the previous episodes, I think it’s episode 5, where he does mention his mom with like, heart emojis).

A really great detail is that Isak has met Magnus’ mom. That’s something that really confounds Isak, because evidently this women seemed normal. She didn’t give off vibes that she was craaaaaazy. She was just Magnus’ mom. Isak is flabbergasted that she was normal - she’s normal but also has bipolar? Does’t compute.

And I mean, I think it is important to note that Isak’s mom seems to have more drastic symptoms of mental illness, and maybe doesn’t come across as “normal” with how she talks or at least with what she’s saying. And Isak just experienced Even’s mania by seeing him ramble nonsensically and walk out in public naked in the middle of the night. Isak’s experience with mentally ill people, that we know of, has involved them acting in more extreme ways - and I think that hotel incident is contorting a lot of Even’s actions in his mind, and Isak is forgetting that Even was “normal” most of the time, too.

When Isak says Even is bipolar, Magnus just nods, like it’s no big deal. Because to him, it isn’t! It’s something that’s an everyday fact of life, having a loved one with bipolar disorder.

Isak mentions that Even went out naked in the middle of the night, and Magnus’ response was to laugh.

I remember when this season was airing, around this episode there were a lot of like ... Skam antis cropping up in response to the show’s sudden popularity and hype - and obviously no one has to like the show, but frankly a lot of the backlash was coming from people pissed that this thing they didn’t care about was suddenly everywhere, or that their own fave TV show wasn’t getting as much attention (or GOD FORBID, had to share the attention with a new, shiny show). And I remember some cries of ableism around this time because of some of the mental illness discussion, a lot of which I thought was purposefully misinterpreting the story for Woke points. Stuff like Sonja’s speech in the hotel scene was ableist (yeah … it was. That was the whole point,and it was specifically refuted within the narrative) or that Even’s text message was ableist because it was him groveling to Isak for forgiveness and that he apologized for being mentally ill (no, he didn’t, and in any case it was the text of a suicidal person, not something we’re supposed to take as right and justified). One part that also had people upset was that Magnus is dismissive of Even walking out naked because he thinks it’s funny and like … okay, I can get why people would find that dismissive, although Isak himself is like “It’s not funny” so I’m not sure why that context is ignored. Like, the thing is that we as audience members saw the hotel scene from Isak’s POV, and it was this horrible, shocking thing. We were worried about Even’s well-being, we were worried about Isak’s reaction.

But for Magnus, who sees bipolar as a normal, everyday fact of life, it’s a funny anecdote! And I mean, I’m on Isak’s side because that is a holy-shit kind of incident. I absolutely do not blame him for not being amused when Magnus starts laughing, because it was a traumatic and potentially dangerous thing. But I don’t think Magnus is an awful guy for hearing a brief summary of what happened and laughing. He’s coming from the perspective where he’s dealt with these kind of incidents and he survived, his mom survived, and they probably laugh about them later. Magnus shares an equally outlandish story about his mom sending in a resignation letter for the regional director of the railway, and he can laugh about it. Maybe at the time it was stressful and caused problems, but in retrospect it’s funny.

(Also, Magnus reacts differently from Jonas - Jonas was like What??? Because in his mind, it is a wild thing. Magnus laughs because he’s used to stuff like this, apparently.)

Magnus asks where Even is, Isak says at home, and Magnus clarifies that he means mentally, not physically. I LOVE that little moment, that Magnus’ instinct is to ask how Even is doing mentally. I think it says a lot about his experience level, that he knows how these manic/depressive episodes go.

Isak says he hasn’t talked to Even because it’s all been bullshit from his side, and you can see Magnus be like, “...what? I saw him giving you those heart eyes in the hallway, man, I don’t buy this for a second.”

I love Magnus just saying what we were all thinking at this point. Watching in real time, we were so desperate for someone to just sit down Isak and explain to him that Sonja was wrong and Even loved him and his feelings were real, and here’s Magnus being our unexpected savior.

Magnus is so confused, because these things are so obvious to him that are not obvious to Isak. Isak has been with Even a while and he hasn’t been manic the whole time, so why would his feelings not be real? When Magnus’ mom is manic, it’s like he can’t reach her. Sort of like Isak not being able to reach Even in the hotel room, when they were eating burgers and Even’s speech had clearly gone farther than Isak could get to him. But Isak has been able to reach and connect with Even plenty of times before that.

Isak says that Sonja said he had been manic the whole time. Magnus asks who’s Sonja? Isak: “His ex.” MAGNUS’ FUCKING FACE. Like, oh, Isak. You are dumb. You are really dumb.

And they call Magnus a doofus, when here’s Isak believing everything his boyfriend’s ex told him.

Lmao, I love that a lot of this scene is Magnus speaking from experience as someone with a bipolar loved one, and then this part is like … just plain relationship common sense that even someone with as little game as Magnus can understand. You don’t just buy everything your boyfriend’s ex is selling. Are you really going to trust his ex telling you he doesn’t have feelings for you?

“Wow! Wowwww.” That’s one of the best deliveries on the show, and we don’t even see David’s face.

Also, props to David for this scene. He gets to show off Magnus’ hidden depths, obviously, and he plays it so naturally and is such a funny voice of reason that again, I can totally roll with this late development. I like this inclusion of Magnus’ mom because it does give depth to a character who had previously been the goofball friend.

What would a Magnus season have been like? Would we have met his mom? It doesn’t sound like there would be a lot of ~drama to mine from that relationship, but it would have been nice to see.

Magnus tells Isak just to talk to Even, he isn’t brain dead just because he had a manic episode (excellent job, Magnus) and says to talk to him when he’s calmed down. Jonas says what we’re all thinking, that Magnus is pretty cool. Magnus: You’re just realizing that now? But he also says that Jonas is pretty cool, too, which is just fucking adorable.

Meanwhile, Isak has this tiny, tiny smile break his tired expression, like he has gotten just a sliver of hope from this conversation. This whole clip has been him getting his world turned upside down, all his preconceived notions about mental illness being turned on their heads, getting some sense knocked into him. It’s beautiful.

Clip 3 - Twisting the knife, thanks Julie

Oh Jesus. I believe this scene was submitted to Gullruten for Tarjei’s acting nomination, and you can easily see why. He’s acting off basically nothing, just him and a phone, a voice on the other line, and yet he manages to do so much.

I’m going to link @toneelspeler’s post about Tarjei’s acting in this scene, because she’s the acting expert and says it way better than I ever could. Give it a read (and check out her other acting posts!)

Isak studies his phone, preparing to call Even. (Even Kosegruppa, may it forever be that way. May Isak and Even both take that as their name upon their marriage. Or Even Kosegruppa and Isak Mannenimittliv.)

Isak stresses about calling. He just stands there for a moment, clutching his phone to his chest as he mentally prepares himself to call. He wears a shirt with “The Scream” by Edvard Munch on it. Edvard Munch was a Norwegian painter who is widely believed to have suffered from bipolar disorder, and “The Scream” was inspired by a hallucination he had. It’s a small detail, but a clever one.

He finally calls Even and you can see the debate still raging inside him as the phone rings, wondering what he’s going to say, how he’s going to deal with this. But then when it goes to voicemail, you can see he’s somewhat conflicted. On the one hand, he doesn’t know what he’ll say to Even, he doesn’t know what he’ll hear or how the conversation will go, but he always wants to hear Even’s voice again, he wants to speak with him. It’s disappointing because he misses Even. Also, if Even isn’t answering, then that might not mean anything good. It might mean Even has slid into a depressive episode.

Someone does call back, but it’s not Even, it’s Pappa. And you can tell Isak doesn’t really want to have a conversation with him at that moment, and that he’s weighing whether to answer, but he does anyway. Which I think is because he’s decided it’s better to face his problems head on, maybe, and because he knows he can’t put off a talk with his dad forever. Or maybe he’s just like, well… how much worse could it get?

Isak’s dad over the phone seems kind of falsely jovial. Or maybe not false, but like he’s consciously trying to inject some levity and pleasantness into this conversation that he knows probably isn’t going to be very warm. If you want to think more positively about Isak’s dad, maybe he’s trying for warmth because his son did just come out to him the last time they spoke, and he wants him to know that he is okay with it. The fact that he brings up Isak’s boyfriend on his own suggests to me that he wants to talk about it.

Isak just sounds tired, of course. Not really in the mood to talk, just giving short answers and getting the necessary info.

The camera cuts from the wider shot of Isak in his room, visible from the waist up, to just Isak’s face after Pappa mentions the boyfriend. Because of course that’s the jolt for Isak, a shift in the mood of the conversation, and visually the cut signifies that. It also gives up a closeup of Isak’s face not just so we can appreciate Tarjei’s acting, but see this very bare, raw moment from him, with nothing else in the way.

That blank reaction and pause from Isak at first, and then going into saying it was just a joke. Maybe because he just doesn’t want to get into the topic right now and it’s the fastest way to shut it down. Maybe a reflex left from when Isak wanted not to seem gay. Maybe because he still isn’t sure that Even’s feelings are real and that it wasn’t a joke. Maybe because it’s easier to say it was never real than to acknowledge that all that Isak has lost if it were real.

Isak’s dad doesn’t really know how to react to that. Like, Pappa Valtersen is not the best dude, but I think he probably knows enough about his son, or at least about parenting, or human emotion, to suspect that Isak is perhaps lying about it being a joke but knowing not to push it at this point. Either that, or he’s taken aback that Isak apparently opened up to him about something in his life, however flippantly, but it turned out to not be real.

Pappa turns the subject back to the concert, saying he’s looking forward to seeing Isak and his mom. I think from the second Isak said his relationship with Even was a joke, he has been regretting it, or turning over whether to tell the truth, until finally he needs to take back his comment. Tarjei’s acting with his eyes is so good here! Isak needs to say it wasn’t a joke, because he can’t dismiss the weight of what he and Even had. It wasn’t a joke to him. And now he’s heard from Magnus that it probably wasn’t a joke to Even, either. Isak can’t throw away this relationship and say it was nothing.

“It wasn’t a joke. It’s just over.” Ouch. You know, I’ve always wondered why Isak says it was over here, when he was just calling Even, and when afterwards he sends him a text? It feels as if Isak is trying to salvage the relationship from those actions. Maybe this is his worst fear, worsened by Even not answering his phone, that it really is over.

Additionally, though it’s a painful moment, I’m proud of Isak for admitting that it was real and not walking it back - it’s another step in him being comfortably out of the closet, he didn’t take back his coming out to his dad.

Isak’s dad asks whether he’s sad about it - again, Isak’s dad kind of sucks overall, but I kinda feel for him here, like it’s not necessarily the most elegant or sympathetic way of asking, but you can get that he’s fumbling to reach his son.

And of course Isak sheds that single tear just as he denies that he’s sad about it. Oh, baby.

Oh man, the way once that first tear falls, the sadness and emotion just starts to escalate, and you can see Isak racing to end the phone call, because in a second it’s going to be too much. And once the call is finished, he has to wipe his face and compose himself, his breath coming shakily, because he’s overwhelmed with all the emotions.

Lmao, I remember that watching in real time, this was the equivalent of Julie kicking us while we were down. Just what we needed: another clip of Isak crying to himself, yayyyyy.

Anyway. Bravo, Tarjei. Some of that was clearly one take, and he managed a wonderful emotional transformation. He doesn’t overact, he doesn’t underact. He gives you exactly as much as you need to understand Isak’s state of being, and to leave us on a bleak but open-ended note before the Friday clip we knew was going to make or break Evak. Even if you thought a happy ending was coming based on Skam’s idealistic nature, it was easy to put yourself in Isak’s shoes and feel the uncertainty if things would turn out okay.

Clip 4 - O Helga Night

So here we are. I’m not even sure where to begin. There’s so much to say about this clip that I really think I might forget something, and two days after posting this I’ll have a 3 AM epiphany about something that wasn’t mentioned. I apologize if I leave out a big part of the clip’s significance or symbolism. But that’s a testament to how incredible the scene is, that there are so many layers.

I’ll start with this: This scene works brilliantly on all levels. It works as an individual scene; I’ve seen several Tumblr posts with the video of this clip that have garnered thousands of notes and lots of comments like “I’ve never seen this show, but this is beautiful” or “I don’t even know what this is and I’m crying???” It works even better as a climax to the entire season, tying together multiple threads and themes, incorporating several types of symbolism that have developed throughout the story, and involving several areas of growth from Isak’s arc that demonstrate what he has learned over the last few months. It works on an acting level. On a writing level. On a directing level. The music works. The editing works. It works as a romantic scene and as a spiritual scene and as an inspirational scene. We start to cry because we are worried when Isak gets that text message, and we remain crying long after the scene ends not because we are sad, but because we have seen a moment of unparalleled tenderness. There aren’t a lot of series or films that I can point to where the tears feel so earned; not mechanically drawn up by routine tearjerker dialogue and events,but created naturally because this is the point the story has been building to all along. There aren’t a lot of canons I can point to that can pull off a scene like this and have it come from such a genuine, profound place.

Also, if you were in the fandom and diligently waiting for that Friday’s clip, you probably remember that NRK originally reported this episode as being like 40+ minutes long, which would have meant a giant Fredag clip. Then shortly before the clip dropped, the episode length was changed to 18 minutes, which had everyone going WTF and wondering how they could possibly fix Isak and Even in that amount of time. After the clip aired, I don’t think anyone was complaining.

Let’s see if I can write about this scene without sobbing.

Prior to this clip, Isak’s mom sends him a text message saying that this is the church where Isak was baptized, adding another element of rebirth to the story.

In the full episode, this scene doesn’t have the usual timestamp indicating when the clip is happening, probably because the scene is just too pretty to have that plastered over it, and like … fair.

From the second I pressed play on this clip for the first time, right after it was uploaded to the Skam website, I knew it was going to be special. Look at how gorgeous the opening shot is. We see the wide shot of inside the church, the neon blue cross, the two people gathering in front. I love that there is a moment of silence, just before the organ starts where there are just some hushed sounds, whispering, maybe. It gives you chills before the music even begins.

I love that we start at the back and the camera slowly moves up the aisle, because we are with Isak, literally in step with him as he advances toward his parents. This is a tremendous moment by itself for Isak, who has no idea that he’s about to get a text from Even; he only thinks that he’s going to be facing his parents after a long time. I don’t think he’s seen them in months. You can see the trepidation on his face. I don’t think it’s dread, I don’t think it’s like he doesn’t want to be there, it’s just that he knows there’s so much going on in his family dynamic and there’s a lot to deal with. And Isak isn’t the same person as when he last saw them! He’s grown a lot, he’s changed, he’s come out to them, he knows that he doesn’t have the ideal relationship with either of them.

He’s a little unsure when he greets them. Not unhappy, just unsure, a little awkward. He hugs his mom and his dad and of course we don’t see their faces, which is probably for the best - it would have been a distraction and interrupted the flow of the scene.

I think he relaxes a bit when he sees that okay, he met with his parents and the world didn’t explode, they’re going to get on with this concert. It’s fine. It’s a lot, but he’s fine. (Tarjei’s face!)

Isak gets the text notification and pulls out his phone. We then get this incredibly powerful text message that tears our hearts to shreds. So much to say about this message.

Now, when I watched this clip for the first time, I was sitting there refreshing the Skam website, and so I watched it without subtitles. Obviously I didn’t know exactly what it said, although it was clearly from Even, and there were several phrases that jumped out at me: 21:21, bipolar. I knew what “Elsker deg” was because the Skam fandom was making plenty of posts about how to say “I love you” in Norwegian in the hopes that Isak and Even would say it. So this was definitely a bit of relief at first glance. And I mean, hey, it was Even, finally breaking the silence after almost a week! We were so worried about Even, but he wrote something to Isak, yay!

I realized it was a suicide note not based on the words of the note itself, but from Isak’s flashbacks during Nils Bech’s singing. The R+J reference with the neon cross, scenes I recognized as Even talking about death or tragedy, a Wiki article about depression. The whole season was hinting at something to do with suicide, so I was primed for it, and I figured Even was suicidal from those images, plus Isak’s reaction afterwards. I mean, he was running out of the church, I don’t think he would have done that without good reason.

That being said, when the subtitles were released, the text immediately pinged me as a suicide note. It might not read to everyone as a suicide note, for reasons I understand (because it doesn’t read that way to Isak at first, either) but it did for me, for a pretty obvious and personal reason: I have written a suicide note. More than once. At a couple of dark times in my life, I sat down and tried to write my final thoughts in this world to my loved ones. I found it really hard, because there was an infinite amount of things I wanted to say, but my suicide notes were full of comments similar to Even’s. Lots and lots of apologies to the people I thought I had wronged. Mentions of things that I thought were significant to them, places and experiences that we had shared. Pessimistic statements like how I was alone, it was never going to change. Asking them to remember the good times or the positive aspects of our lives together. Saying I loved them. The whole thing rang so uncomfortably familiar that it was impossible for me personally not to see the signs of Even saying goodbye.

Let’s take Even’s text message line by line, for the most part:

Dear Isak - This is a very formal way to begin, like an actual letter Even has prepared, not just a casual text message. It sounds like he has written out this message beforehand and given it a lot of thought.

I’m sitting where we met for the first time and I’m thinking about you. - First of all, my fucking heart. Just picture Even sitting in the bathroom for God knows how long and thinking about Isak. Like this damn school bathroom holds such sentimental value to him because it was where he first met Isak, the man of his dreams. The first place he spoke to this guy he’d been pining for from afar for months. A guy who turned out to be even better than Even expected. Even is thinking about Isak. He’s about to end his life and he’s thinking about Isak, wistfully. Returning to sentimental or nostalgic places is unfortunately pretty common for suicidal people. It’s a way of saying goodbye. So that’s another tip-off of Even’s mindset.

It’s soon 21:21 - I’ll get into the 21:21 significance to this clip in a little bit, but let’s just acknowledge again that Even treasures everything he shares with Isak. Isak and Even ran off at 21:21, now 21:21 is theirs. (I know Julie included more 21:21 stuff in her scripts for S3 that we could discuss, but I want to focus on stuff that is in the show itself now.)

I want to say a thousand things to you. - This line might go a little under-looked, in my opinion, and I get why because it’s not as Evak-specific like some of the others with their 21:21 and parallel universe mentions, but honestly, it gets me right in the gut? It just conveys the enormity of Even’s feelings for Isak and all that he wants to share with him. All that he never thinks he will get the chance to do.

I’m sorry for scaring you. - This refers to the hotel scene, obviously, and a large part of me wants to be like, “Noooo, Even, don’t apologize for that.” The way Even apologizes for so much feels like it’s another factor of his suicidal mindset - he wants to make amends with Isak before it’s over, and he also just feels terrible about himself and what he’s done to someone he loves.

I’m sorry for hurting you. - This is probably not just in reference to the hotel scene and the aftermath but every part of their relationship where Even thinks he may have hurt Isak. Breaking things off with him in episode 5 without explaining why, running hot and cold on him or going back and forth between Isak and Sonja. Though I do think that Even thinks he really hurt Isak with the hotel incident, too, especially if he has an idea of what Sonja said to him. Even thinks his mental illness hurts people around him by default.

I’m sorry for not telling you that I’m bipolar. - To clarify, not that he is sorry for being bipolar (although I think Even has plenty of negative thoughts about that) but sorry that he didn’t tell Isak. I don’t think this is something we’re supposed to judge Even for, by the way, or think is justified - he is suicidal and he blames himself for all that went wrong. It’s his call when to disclose his mental illness, but because he didn’t tell Isak, the hotel getaway went awry, and so he feels guilty for that.

I was afraid of losing you. - AHHHHH. This line hurts so much. To have it put so plainly and vulnerably what we suspected previously - that Even was hiding his mental illness from Isak out of fear of rejection - breaks my heart. It was the worst thing to Even, the thought of losing Isak.

Had forgotten that it’s not possible to lose someone, that all people are alone anyway. - This is when the note takes a dark turn, really. The lines before that give off some warning vibes but could be assumed as an apology text. This is when it really becomes clear that Even is in a bad place mentally. It sounds so fatalistic - Even was worried about Isak when he shouldn’t have wasted the effort, because he could never have Isak, anyway. That he was always alone. That his relationship was Isak was destined to end in disaster. Like the brief period of happiness they had together was never meant to last. Even doesn’t have anyone, he can’t have Isak, he’s alone with his thoughts. And as he told us in episode 5, he only way to escape is death.

In another place in the universe we are together forever, remember that. - Another line that set off warning bells for me. Asking Isak to “remember that” - why does Isak need to remember if things will turn out okay with him and Even? Shouldn’t he just know that? Saying that it’s another place in the universe that they’re together forever - why another place? Why not this one where they can be together? It’s lovely and romantic that he imagines them together forever, but alarming that it has to be a different world then theirs.

Love you. Even - The first time we hear Even (or either of them) say I love you, and it’s beautiful, we all know they love each other, but consider that Even is saying this now, in this text, because he thinks it’s the last opportunity for him to say it.

Skam didn’t do a lot of big dramatic speeches with Evak. We got some with Jonas and Eva (for example, after she kisses P-Chris or in the skate park or in the S1 finale) and some with Noora and William (Noora talking to William before he leaves for London) but a lot of the dialogue between Isak and Even is more on the sparse, understated side, in my opinion. That doesn’t make it any less meaningful, it’s just that Julie tended to pack a lot of meaning in one or two lines rather than a whole paragraph. There are worlds of feeling in the short, simple lines between Isak and Even ( “Can I stay in here with you forever?”/”You can” for instance). It’s really effective for me especially because Isak is not a very verbose person and Even often communicates in gestures, drawings, or song lyrics to illustrate his feelings.

This text is one of the closet things we get to a big dramatic speech, and it’s a text message, not a verbal monologue. Even, who has been the mysterious new boy for much of this season, leaving us constantly guessing as to his motivations and secrets, has finally laid himself bare, exposed his feelings in detail. Except for one little thing, which is that he plans to end his life.

Isak doesn’t realize the nature of the the note at first. I don’t blame him. The text is worded ambiguously enough that it’s easy to miss, and we know Isak doesn’t have suicidal or depressive thoughts like Even (remember, he flat out doesn’t get what Even is saying in the cuddle scene and calls Even’s POV dark) so he’s not drawing from his own experiences. A ton of viewers didn’t recognize that it’s a suicide note at first, and no shame in that.

I think Isak is just overwhelmed by the fact that Even has finally contacted him again and Even is telling him all this heavy romantic stuff. I’m thinking about you, we’re together forever, etc. I mean, Even tells Isak he loves him for the first time! You can imagine that the “Elsker deg” overshadows anything else at first. Even does love him, Even’s feelings were not fake. What Isak and Even had was real. Isak must feel relieved and overjoyed; a small smile spreads on his face as he reads the text and Nils Bech starts singing O Helga Natt.

So now we’ve got Nils singing, and it’s really cool how involved he was in this season! His song “Waiting” was in the S3 trailer, “That Girl” was in episode 2 as the closing song, and now he’s got the climactic music for Isak’s story. In fact, I believe this scene was written with Nils’ singing in mind. He is also, just to reiterate, the “Bech” in Even Bech Næsheim. It’s awesome that they used the music of a real-life gay man so heavily in a season about a gay kid.

Not gonna lie, my eyes can never stray from his pants. Also, his orchestra appears to be all women, which is neat! And of course we have that giant neon cross just hanging out being him, resembling the one from Romeo + Juliet.

To discuss the choice of song a little bit, not to be mega obvious, but … O Helga Natt is a Christmas song, and this clip starts at a Christmas concert. Christmas - again, not to be massively fucking obvious - is a holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. So it’s another clear birth/rebirth reference. O Helga Natt refers to the holy night Jesus was born; “O Helga Natt” as a clip refers to this night of rebirth for Isak.

I want to tread carefully because I don’t speak the language, but some of the lyrics of O Helga Natt line up with certain actions in the clip. Norwegians/Swedes (because the song is in Swedish), feel free to correct me if I make a mistake. I’m going off a translation of the lyrics.

For one example, Isak realizes Even’s text is a suicide note after the lyrics are something like “for us he suffered the pain of death.” It’s not right on that lyric, so maybe a reach, but I think it’s worth mentioning. After all, the references to death were included throughout the season as clues to Even’s state of mind.

Isak is watching this performance and everything is normal until Nils looks into the camera, effectively making eye contact with Isak. Which, from an in-universe perspective, is perhaps coincidence, but it’s that shift that signifies Isak’s transition from just watching this concert to making the connection to the text message from Even. I mean Nils might as well be Isak’s guardian angel telling him to haul ass out of there.

It’s pretty subtly acted and effectively directed. Isak is just watching Nils and then he blinks and his gaze shifts from Nils to the neon cross. We get a very, very quick montage of flashbacks, from Isak and Even lying in bed during the cuddle scene, Juliet lying on her deathbed, Even in the Mikael video. Cut to Isak making the connection, it’s written on his face. Cut to another quick montage: the Mikael video again, Even’s note with “I don’t sleep cuz sleep is the cousin to death,” Even lying in bed at the hotel, the Wiki article about bipolar disorder (specifically the lines about depression). These are rapid fire images, and honestly the impact of some of them really depend on your memory of this season, if you have been filing away the clues episode by episode. They’re all moments linked to depression or death. The Romeo + Juliet suicide, Even lying in bed telling Isak the only way to escape your thoughts is to die. Even saying an epic love story has to end with death. Even mentioning song lyrics about death. Even saying that the only way to have something forever is to lose it. I think this was really rewarding if you were watching in real time and making note of these recurring hints, because this was quite literally the payoff for noticing. All those moments were presented in this montage that flashes by in like a second or two.

Isak puts the pieces together. Man, imagine if he hadn’t seen Romeo + Juliet and that neon cross didn’t trigger any associations in his head? Would he have realized and made it in time? In-universe, it’s a good thing Isak decided to stalk Even on Google and watch that video so many times it aroused his curiosity about Even’s favorite director. And that he went for R+J instead of like, The Great Gatsby (Nils would needed a random green light instead of a neon cross).

Isak’s look of realization is really well acted. It’s not too obvious or overplayed, it’s just this dawning sense of placing Even’s text in a different light. He pulls out his phone and we see the text message again, so we can contextualize it with that talk of dying and depression. We can see what might be romantic imagery and sentiment, a love confession, start to seem like a goodbye.

Isak doesn’t waste any time, he gets up from the pew and walks out of the church. I wonder what his parents thought? Like he probably texted them afterwards that it was an emergency, but damn, their son just up and left. They thought he was going to the bathroom or something and he just peaced out for the evening.

Notably, in Romeo + Juliet we have Romeo going toward the altar, toward his doom. In Skam, Isak turns away from the altar, rejecting this fate.

We get one last shot of Nils singing before we take a break from his angelic voice, and then we get another montage. This fucking montage. This is what made me start to cry the first time I saw this scene. Christ, okay. I’m going to try to type through misty eyes. There’s a lot going on here so hopefully I don’t miss anything.

The first time I watched this montage, I was such a wreck. I was sobbing, and while up to this point I was very convinced Julie was not going to kill off either Isak or Even, and that they would get a happy ending, this montage managed to make me doubt. While it was playing and Isak was running, I really genuinely feared that Isak would get to Even but like, there would be an ambulance and paramedics would be wheeling out a body bag on a gurney. And in that brief moment I felt with such conviction that my heart was going to be absolutely broken if Even was dead. I was going to feel such a sense of anger and betrayal that I had gotten sucked into this story and it hurt me that much. I legit did not know how I would deal if Even died. I mean, I thought I would function as a human being, but I was like … I will never be able to trust any canon again if they fuck this up. So thanks for that minute or so of sheer terror, Julie Andem.

The montage runs chronologically backwards. It starts from the most recent time Isak and Even were together, this moment of perfect unity and happiness where they kissed in the elevator, and travels back through the big moments of their relationship: Isak and Even reuniting and having sex for the first time in episode 7; Isak and Even kissing and affirming their feelings and seemingly about to enter a relationship in episode 5; earlier that episode when Isak and Even lay in bed kissing, tucked away from the world; bursting out of the pool kissing in episode 4, then Isak kissing Even for the first time underwater; Isak and Even locking eyes across the room while kissing girls in episode 3; Even looking at Isak in the windowsill in episode 2. Then Isak approaching Even on the bench in episode 1 for their first real conversation,and finally, Even in the bathroom, “meeting” Isak.

It runs backwards for two main reasons. First, Even has told Isak that he is in the place where they first met, and the montage is a visual countdown where we go back, step by step, to that place. It indicates why Isak is running and where, just in case you missed it. We travel back through their relationship as Isak travels back quite literally to the beginning.

Second, symbolically, this is part of the rebirth metaphor. If the pool scene is the spiritual rebirth of Isak as he accepts his sexuality and begins to live as a more authentic version of himself - including as a gay man - then the church scene stands out to me as the rebirth of Isak and Even as a relationship. We go back to the beginning of Isak and Even so they can be “born” again, this time with their big secrets and insecurities exposed between them so they can be together honestly. Additionally, it is another form of rebirth for Isak as a person. This scene combines the various threads of the season and the lessons he has learned. I wouldn’t say this scene is a test, but it’s a demonstration of how Isak has grown as a character - can you imagine the fuckboy Isak of the season premiere in this situation? It’s a rebirth of Isak into the person he’s meant to be.

The montage also serves the purpose of absolutely fucking you up by making you remember these glorious, beautiful moments with this amazing fictional couple that you have been getting to know over the past few months/weeks/hours. You really feel the scope of Evak, the depth of the feelings there in the development. And no doubt this is what Isak is also remembering: all that he and Even have gone through up to this point. All the wonderful times. Everything he has to lose. He is incredibly in love with Even and at this moment he is so fearful he might not reach him in time.

We see him Isak running through the streets of Oslo and I doubt he stopped to take a bus or whatever, he just had to keep moving, it didn’t matter. Isak finally arrives at the school and comes into the courtyard, out of breath and petrified. We see the flashback of Even and Isak meeting on the bench, because that’s probably what Isak thought of where they met - it’s where they had their first actual conversation, where Isak learned Even’s name, etc. In the present, Isak sees that damn bench and it’s empty. No one is there. Isak and the audience feel our stomachs sink into the ground. You know he’s thinking he’s too late.

But then - one last flashback clip as Isak realizes maybe Even didn’t mean the bench. We again see Even being a charming weirdo at Isak in the bathroom, inside the school. It’s like a life preserver. A moment of hope. Is that what Even meant by the place they met? Because, of course, it’s where they technically met even if they didn’t really talk inside of it. (And because Even is a sentimental weirdo who would hang out in the bathroom just because he met Isak there.)

We see Isak turn toward the school, and hallelujah, just as Nils starts singing again, Even comes out of the school. THANK GOD. Everyone in the whole world collapses in relief. Isak is not too late, Even is alive, Even is here. Even doesn’t look particularly well - he’s all bundled up in a hoodie, like he wants to hide from the world, and you can tell from his body language that he feels done with it all - he’s slumped over and not full of energy. But he’s still here.

Even sees Isak and stops in his tracks. He just freezes. The look on his face is pure shock. He did not think he would be seeing Isak. He didn’t think Isak would come for him - Isak has been thinking for days that their relationship might be over, but at the same time, Even was also thinking it was over. And maybe it’s just such a big moment crashing through his wall of sadness, that Isak is there with him now, that he can’t even move. How do you cope when the person you most want to see but thought you’d never see again is suddenly right in front of you? That Isak read his message and ran to their special place, where Even said he was?

Isak looks back at Even and of course goes to him. They walk toward each other and the shot is absolutely beautiful, it’s dark but the light is warm. How lovely is it that they walk toward each other? And slowly, too, not running into each other’s arms. The emotions, the relief, the love, they’re just too big, and these boys are so vulnerable right now (especially Even) that they need to take it slow. Isak doesn’t overwhelm Even, he approaches him carefully.

Their faces as they approach each other, damn. Especially Even’s, because again, he is completely thrown by this moment. He can’t believe it. And I bet you anything he is scared, and nervous, because this is Isak, beautiful Isak, seeing him for the first time after learning Even is mentally ill. Isak now knows this truth about Even that Even is ashamed of and tried desperately to keep hidden; Isak, who said he was better off without mentally ill people in his life. Even thought he would lose Isak if Isak learned that Even was bipolar. And yet here is Isak. Even doesn’t know what to expect.

Isak and Even are once again dressed somewhat similarly. They have on a kind of maroon sweater or hoodie, jeans, brown shoes. But the way Even is dressed is very guarded, with his hood up, hair covered by a hat, very closed off from the world, while Isak - who we’ve seen dress like Even before by retreating into his hoodie when he’s at a low point - seems more open in his appearance. His head is entirely uncovered, no hat or hood, and his jacket seems open and unzipped. Because it’s now Isak’s turn to be warm and open, he’s not the one struggling here. In fact his purpose is to bring Even out of that shell and make him feel like he’s not alone.

This scene is one of the big 21:21 moments - because Even brought it up in his text, mentioning it was almost 21:21 (the clip was released at 20:24). Besides Isak’s mom’s text earlier this week, the other big scene I associate with this imagery is of course the clip titled 21:21 (pool scene) and O Helga Natt mirrors the pool scene in its imagery. Like with that scene, you have Even standing still on the left as Isak approaches him from the right, with a bright light between them in the distance. There’s even some rain as a counterpart to the water of the pool, and I don’t know if that is just a happy accident of filming, but it adds to the baptism imagery, the water coming down over them.

In both the pool scene and O Helga Natt, you have Isak approaching Even - you have Isak making the decision to act on his own. He’s being proactive to reach Even. Again, this is a rebirth of the self, his character maturing and growing.

By the way, the image of Isak approaching Even? That shot’s one of my favorites in Skam, ever. It’s so simple but so full of feeling.

This is where I’m not positive about the translation again, and feel free to correct me, but the lyrics of “O Helga Natt” at this point when they’re approaching each other contain “du ser en älskad broder” which I believe to something like “you see a beloved brother.” Seems fitting that this plays when they see a loved one.

While there’s a level of caution, especially from Even’s side, Isak doesn’t pause or hesitate as he approaches Even. When he gets close to him, he just immediately leans in for the life-saving nuzzling to happen.

Many shows would have them fall into each other’s arms or start passionately kissing, or Isak would make a dramatic speech, or there would be a lot of dialogue. Skam goes for such a raw, tender approach that it makes a lump rise in my throat. Isak slowly and carefully rubs Even’s face with his. He makes sure that Even can feel him there, feel his warmth when it’s cold enough to see their breath. It is simply about making Even realize that Isak is present and close to him.

Isak also gets in a nose rub, because that is Isak and Even’s thing, that is their gesture of comfort and affection and love. That is a grounding technique that’s developed between them, without even talking about it.

Also, so often we have seen Even initiate these touches. He’s the more experienced one, the more confident of the two, the more extroverted and less repressed. Isak isn’t totally shy about touching Even, but he has often followed Even’s lead on how to touch him. Now it is Isak’s turn to initiate this physical contact.

Even kind of accepts this face nuzzling but he’s also clearly in disbelief, and he closes his eyes. Like he can’t believe it. But when he closes his eyes, he’s blocking out everything but Isak’s warmth and scent and the feel of him nuzzling his cheek.

That fucking muscle in Henrik’s cheek as Isak nuzzles the side of Even’s face = A+ acting, bury me. (This is so obvious I feel ridiculous saying it, but Tarjei and Henrik act the hell out of this scene.)

There are so many spectacularly gorgeous moments in Skam, that you could single out a number as the most beautiful, but for my money: I don’t think any single image gets me quite as strongly as Isak paused with his cheek to Even’s, and Even deciding to nuzzle Isak’s cheek back, and rubbing his face along Isak’s.

Jesus Christ, that moment. Even has been in disbelief and now he’s accepting the love Isak is offering, he’s settling back into himself. He’s showing that Isak has gotten through to him. What a character moment.

Isak takes Even’s head in his hands after that, because it was the turning point, he knows Even is responsive. They look into each other’s eyes, because Isak needs Even to see him.

“You’re not alone.” The one line of dialogue in the clip.

That is the only line of dialogue you need. Not “I love you” or “I’ll always be there for you” or a long monologue. What Even has been indicating all season, both directly and indirectly, is that he is afraid of being alone, or he is convinced he is alone. He just stated it definitively in his suicidal text message, like that is his final conclusion. Even needs to be reassured otherwise. And Isak has made sure that Even is not alone, he’s run to him, and he’s gotten close to him physically, and he’s going to make sure Even isn’t alone after this, either.

The way Isak says it with such simple assurance, and the way Even has to close his eyes because the feeling is too overwhelming. Ugh, crying now.

If you were in the fandom at the time the season was airing, you may remember that after this clip aired, someone posted a picture they snapped of Tarjei and Henrik filming this scene and standing in each other’s faces. There’s a cut between shots before they kiss, and I’ve always wondered if that was because the person stopped to take the picture at that point, lmao. You can see a car drive by in the background. (Or maybe not, because I remember the picture didn’t have Tarjei cupping Henrik’s face? I’m not sure. Anyway, the person who snapped that pic is blessed for not spoiling the fandom.)

That kiss between them. Isak is firmly cupping Even’s face, not letting him go, but he’s not pushing the kiss. There’s this pause before it happens. Because it’s overwhelming, and because I think Isak wants to make sure Even is comfortable with this kiss, so he’s not going to initiate it. He’s letting Even know that he wants to, but he’s waiting for a signal from Even before they proceed. And it’s when Even indicates that he is on board that they kiss.

This kiss is one of my favorite Evak kisses for the sheer amount of emotion behind it. The feeling that this kiss carries all the weight of the world behind it for these two characters. I adore it.

Also, I love the timing of the music with the editing of the clip? For instance, Nils’ voice during this part with the kiss feels particularly angelic, and then it cuts out and we hear just those strings … it’s so powerful.

You know what else is powerful? How Even breaks off the kiss, because the kiss is so much. It’s completely overwhelming, and a lot to handle for someone who’s in a very fragile state. But I think he also can’t quite believe it, still. He thought everything was over. It isn’t. Isak is here, kissing him, showing that he still wants to be with him. Isak has saved him, like in his dreams.

The lyrics to “O Helga Natt” are about salvation. “O helga natt, du frälsning åt oss gav / Oh holy night, our salvation you gave.” This whole night is about salvation. Isak who had been saved by Even from loneliness and living a fake life now saves Even from being alone and death. That’s where “I’ll save you right back comes in.”

That shot of them looking at each other, before Isak goes in for the hug - breathtaking. Another one of my favorite images in the whole series. They are too far gone for words at that point, and a hug will say everything that is needed, anyway.

And that hug! Of course, the hug. Wow. That the clip ends with Isak clutching Even for dear life, and then we pull back to see that Even is clutching Isak back. Our final image is two boys holding each other in the warm light of the schoolyard. By themselves, but not alone. It is exactly the message we needed: one of unwavering kindness and support. And just like that, Isak and Even’s relationship is reborn, starting over again from the beginning, this time with no secrets between them.

Do you think, when Even saw Isak on the first day of school, that he imagined Isak was capable of running to him and saving him and loving him so thoroughly?

There’s no music during the end credits, because I mean … what are you going to play, even? Just let the viewers cry in peace.

This scene won a Gullruten, for good reason. I know it was because we fervent Skam fans went wild with voting, but come on, it still deserved everything.

Thematically, this clip combines many of the lessons Isak has learned throughout the season:

Isak has learned to accept his sexuality, so he does not hesitate to run to Even because he accepts that Even’s love for him is real and he loves Even. His internalized homophobia doesn’t play a role in this scene. He has grown enough to embrace his love for another boy rather than trying to repress his sexuality.

Isak has learned that he wants to accept mentally ill people in his life. Not only does the scene start with him reuniting with his mom at the concert, but he has educated himself enough to recognize symptoms of depression and suicidal thoughts, and presents himself as fully on board with Even and ready to support him.

Isak has learned to reach out to the people around him for help and to take their advice. Eskild, Sana, Jonas, Magnus … he has a strong support network for himself and he’s learned not to isolate himself. And it’s because Isak has learned not to isolate himself and cut himself off that he is able to extend this lesson to Even. He is able to take the support he’s received and turn it into support given. “You’re not alone” is the lesson Isak has been learning all season.

When I was writing this reaction, I managed to come across in my drafts a post I wrote back in 2016, not long after Skam season 3 aired. I didn’t post it at the time, I guess because I wasn’t as involved in the fandom and the draft felt pretty personal and overly earnest, and I never posted it probably because I just forgot about it. It was by accident that I found it now. However, I want to include what I wrote then, back when S3 was still new, because not only does it explains how this clip pays off the 21:21/rebirth symbolism and the R+J references, but I’m not sure I could say it any better now than I did then about the outstanding relief of this clip:

it’s kind of incredible how during s3 there was always this low-level prickle of dread, especially watching in real time, because the possibility of suicide was always there, starting from 3.02, when Even says that the main characters in a love story have to die for it to be epic. there were the blatant references to Romeo + Juliet, a well as Even’s recurring comments about death (“the brain is alone” in the bed scene, “Did you think I’d died?” in the pool, “I don’t sleep ‘cuz sleep is the cousin of death”) which were this dark cloud over even the happier moments. after the locker room scene, when people really began to hypothesize Even was mentally ill/depressed, it seemed inevitable from all the clues that the story was pointing at a future suicide or an attempt, and that informed the ongoing audience reaction. whenever Even was absent from the clips for a while or didn’t reply to a text, I would see speculation and worry that he had killed himself. and it wasn’t just with Even, either - remember when Linn’s sleeping pills were mentioned during that miserable week of episode 6, people were freaking out that Isak was going to steal her pills and OD. because there were all these thematic hints that you couldn’t get away from, that left a sick feeling in your gut even when Even and Isak were kissing in a pool or cuddling in bed.

and yeah, some of it probably was because we are so used to seeing stories like this where the lovers do die, that Even’s remark about love stories needing to be tragic to be epic seems like a common enough sentiment. especially stories where gay couples or mentally ill people need to die for it be Meaningful and Deep. we’ve seen plenty of those. it says something that even after Skam had built up enough goodwill in me that I trusted the show to know better than to pull some Bury Your Gays BS, or to kill off a mentally ill kid after taking the time to stress how people with mental illnesses can lead normal lives, I was still crying and yelling at my laptop the first time I saw Isak running from the church, because I was terrified of what he would find.that I could not turn off the part of my brain that said suicide was a very real option and the inevitable conclusion of this storyline.

and then, instead of a story about suicide, we got a story about rebirth

the biblical references have already been pointed out many times (Genesis 21/the birth of Isaac/21:21, baptism/the pool/the rain, the God costume, the Christmas concert/O Helga Natt/birth of Jesus) as well as the ultimate subversion of the R+J suicide (Isak turning away from the church altar rather than going toward it).

I think part of the reason why the O Helga Natt clip struck viewers so profoundly is that the show finally acted on this underlying thread that had caused us so much fear and dread day by day with every ominous comment about death or unanswered text message or shout-out to a sad movie. it finally and explicitly put the pieces together with that quick montage of Isak in the church where he realizes all the hints that had been haunting us for months, it finally got us to the place where we could acknowledge that yes, Even is depressed and suicide is a real possibility

and then it washed away our fears by rejecting this ending as inevitable or showing us the “epic” love story ending in tragedy. instead it showed two people who don’t die, but go back to the beginning (quite literally). we already have the “rebirth” of Isak in the pool, as he begins to accept this huge part of himself that he had denied and start moving toward a better, happier, more authentic version of himself. and now there is another. because of their unconditional love and acceptance, they get a chance to start again. a spiritual and personal rebirth.

Skam played me like a piano and I genuinely feel like a better, more hopeful person for it. thanks, Julie Andem

Social Media/General Comments

I was fucking distraught this week thinking about Even. I get so damn sad thinking about him and what he would have gone through this week. In real time we were all beside ourselves with Even’s absence. We were practically begging for any news of him. But of course Julie held out on us for maximum tension and despair.

Really, though ... my heart breaks thinking about how miserable he must have felt when he realized what had happened in the hotel, and how Isak told him to stop texting. I know Isak had it rough this week, but Even was going through a depressive episode and I don’t think he had the support network Isak did. He has his parents and Sonja, but Sonja was probably not someone he wanted on his side at that point, regardless of her intentions.

I already talked about the Isak and Eskild text post-hotel scene in the last reaction, but I’m going to say again: one of my favorite moments on the show. And while I’m not sure I’d call it a direct parallel to the end of this episode, it is notable that when Isak texts Eskild, Eskild too drops everything to rush to Isak’s aid, just like Isak ends up running to Even. Again, not that Isak isn’t a nice kid on his own, but I think Isak learns from the kindness and support he gets from others during this season so he can ultimately be there for Even.

There’s a Kollektivet text early in the week. They’re out of toilet paper. Why is it always toilet paper they’re out of? Didn’t Eskild win a year’s supply of toilet paper in S2? Is Isak hoarding it all for his bedside?

Linn gets unusually talkative in the text message, describing her previous heartbreak, so she’s clued in enough to know that Isak is going through some shit. She talks about at first she was depressed, but then comes the hate.

Isak says he will never hate Even. I love that line so much. At this point Isak thinks his relationship with Even was fake, that it was all a lie, a result of Even’s mania. And Isak isn’t angry with Even, I think. He doesn’t hate Even for it. He doesn’t blame him. It’s a mark of how much he loves Even and a sign that he understands that Even’s mental condition is not Even’s fault.

There’s a very short biology buddies text, as Isak skips another day of school and Sana prints his homework for him. She asks him if everything is ok - a nice little sign of concern - but he doesn’t reply. Awww. Isak, don’t cut yourself off again.

Isak has several significant texts with Magnus in the middle of the week that add to Magnus’ role as Evak cheerleader and bipolar expert.

Apparently Isak and Magnus both watch Westworld. Narcos, Stranger Things, Westworld … regardless of your opinions on those shows, those aren’t trash TV, those are pretty well-regarded series. I’ve mentioned it previously but I’m firmly against Isak’s taste in films and TV being super lowbrow.

Isak texted Magnus first, so Isak is learning that Magnus can help him and he should reach out to his friends for advice. Magnus asks about whether Isak has contacted Even, bless him. I bet that was helpful to Isak if it wasn’t sure how to broach the topic to Magnus.

Magnus doesn’t know a lot of specifics about Even’s condition (like how long he will be depressed) because of course everyone is different, people’s conditions vary based on stuff like whether they’re taking meds. Isak has a lot of questions like whether Even would be hospitalized. Magnus says he’s probably not and encourages Isak to just talk to him. He gives Isak some fake advice about not using words that start with ‘p’, but he’s just messing with Isak, probably because he can tell Isak has a million questions and is worried about the whole thing. And Magnus, of course, has a super chill attitude toward bipolar disorder, this wouldn’t faze him.

After that text, we get the clip where Isak talks to his dad, which is the day after the clip with Magnus explaining bipolar disorder, so Isak waited a day to call Even. I guess he was gathering his courage. (Or they just wanted to show Isak calling him and didn’t want two out of the week’s four clips to air on the same day). After that clip, Isak texts Magnus back, telling him Even hung up on him (did Even actually hang up or did he just not answer?)

Magnus advises Isak to text Even, which Isak does. The text is short, sweet, and polite. Isak says he hopes Even is well. The most important thing, I think, is that Isak tells Even to call him when he feels like it (so on Even’s own terms) and sends a heart emoji, which they’d exchanged before in their episode 8 text messages, when they were together and all lovey-dovey. So he’s letting Even know that he cares, he wants to hear from Even. A turnaround from the previous text to Even, which was “stop texting me.” But I think Even is so depressed though that this sweet text message can’t get through to him. He probably still focuses on that “stop texting me.” Maybe he’s afraid of what Isak will say. Or he just thinks Isak is better off without him, or he lacks the energy to talk to him.

There’s a fair amount of time between the first Magnus-Isak text and the clip, then to the second text with Magnus, then to the Even text. Especially that last one. I think Isak was really debating what to say and dealing with a lot of nerves (or you know, they wanted to stagger the updates a bit).

I love the Isak and Vilde texts from this week. Not that they’re great or happy to hear, but they’re important to the narrative.

Vilde drops in and is like, “Not to gossip but here’s some gossip.” She heard Even has psychological problems. Not content with just asking Isak whether he is gay, she’s got to get in on that craAAAaazy Even gossip train.

Why did she feel the need to tell Isak this? She said it’s because Isak has a relationship with Even, but … why? Is she that concerned about Even being a psycho? Is she that much of a busybody? Does it make her feel important to have this information and bestow it on Isak? Like … what is she expecting, Isak to go, “Gee, thanks Vilde, I didn’t know that and I’m so glad you told me!” (But I mean, him saying that sincerely, not in a sarcastic way.)

What does knowing her S4 home life say about her sharing this with Isak? Consider that Vilde has, similar to Isak (though she doesn’t know), a parent with mental health issues who seems to have problems with depression or alcoholism. Vilde would no doubt hate for people to go around talking about her secret problems (and it is shown to hurt her in S4) so why doesn’t she bestow the same courtesy to others? I think it is largely about wanting to be important in people’s minds and be in the know about the gossip.

Isak just wants to know where this rumor came from. Vilde says it was someone from Bakka who said Even snapped and wrote crazy stuff on the revue Facebook wall. So just like that, the pertinent parts of Even’s backstory slide into place. The odd details like Even transferring in his last year, repeating a grade, not having social media … this one bit of gossip puts those clues into perspective. I mean, if this was all we had gotten about his past, this would have been enough for me? Of course I would be hungry for more, but this says enough.

I like that this season never actually has a big moment where it’s like “and that’s why Even transferred!” It’s up to the viewers to put the pieces together. And it’s through a text that we get this final piece.

Vilde’s reason for sharing this information is confirmed for me when Isak is just like “OK” and she felt the need to reply, “I just thought you’d want to know,” as if she’s disappointed he didn’t have more of a reaction to her graciously telling him this bit of information. She wants to feel important for having the gossip. Isak is like, why would I need to know that? Vilde says she’d want to know. I’m sure she would, she’s concerned with appearances.

Isak shows a huge moment of maturity, by saying what if Vilde fucked up, would she want people to spread rumors about it a year later?(Another thing that makes me feel terrible for Even - he’s switched schools for a fresh start, but as we see, he can’t totally escape his past.) He tells her to grow up. It’s not very nice, but of course he’s not wrong.

Vilde gets defensive and says there’s no need for him to get mad, she was telling him as a friend. I wonder if Vilde was also sharing the gossip to get some points with her new Gay Best Friend. But I’m very proud of Isak here. Even’s past doesn’t bother him, and in fact he gets mad on behalf of Even. The Isak of early s3? He might have cared about what Vilde has to say. This gossip may have bothered him about Even. This current Isak, though, shows compassion and empathy for Even’s struggle and realizes Even is more than his mental illness.

Like some of this is the crux of Isak’s development - the way he defends Even here and says he won’t hate him in an earlier text, not judging him for his past. Isak doesn’t ask Vilde for more details, there’s no indication he’s disturbed by this information. In fact, it’s possible he’s just slotting into place moments from the past, like why he couldn’t find Even on social media and why Even is the same age as Sonja but she’s graduated and he hasn’t. If anything, I think this information just made him understand Even more rather than turning him off.

Then the next morning, Vilde sends him another text message apologizing and saying it was a jerk move, and Isak says it’s OK. I wonder if Vilde took in Isak’s words - that if she fucked up, would she want people spreading rumors a year later? Not just about her mom and home life, but about what happened with William in S1, if people were still talking about that a year later.

Additionally, probably for the best that she’s on Isak’s good side if she wanted to hook up with Magnus (not like this was a hard feat, though). I don’t think that was the main motivating factor for her apology, I think she sincerely regretted it, but I’m sure the Magnus factor helps.

There’s a late-night text with Jonas, so maybe Isak’s insomnia is back, although Jonas is up at that hour, too, so who knows. Jonas wants to know if Isak’s heard from Even, too, and tells Isak to go to him. Jonas, giving the good advice and supporting his BFF’s happiness as usual.

Isak says Even would have answered his call if he wanted to talk and that he’ll check in over the weekend. Which is both Isak respecting Even’s boundaries, perhaps, and Isak maybe being afraid of pushing things and Even rejecting him.

This time Isak’s “family” event is real! Can’t blame Jonas for his skepticism, though, or his joke about Isak raging against Mahdi.

As mentioned above, Isak’s mom texts him again about looking forward to seeing him in the church where he was baptized. It’s the last text from her of the season, in either social media or a clip, and it would have been nice perhaps to get another in the final week, but I’m fine with this as a sendoff. Isak and his mom aren’t 100% perfect now, but they can work on having a relationship. And of course, it’s a good lead up to the church text and the symbolism there.

As always, please let me know if I misunderstood something from a language or cultural perspective.

If you’re still reading these, thank you! Especially after the long break I took. I’m almost done with this season’s reactions and I’ve loved talking about it with people and hearing from you all ❤️

#skam reactions #skam season 3 #skam #isak valtersen #evak

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