#you cant say that abusive behavior isnt ok in romantic/platonic relationships
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people will talk about how it is important to recognize abuse and how it comes in many shapes and forms, but the second sibling abuse gets brought up, you then have to shut up, because you clearly don't have a sibling if you don't think that bullying them, making them fear you, screaming at them, putting them down, beating up them up, emotionally/physically abusing them, giving them trauma, guilt tripping them and other abusive behavior is an ok thing to do.
#you cant say that abusive behavior isnt ok in romantic/platonic relationships#and then turn around and say that it's ok if it happens between siblings#because siblings hating each other is soooo nAtUrAl it's in their DNA/s#teasing your sibling isnt the same as laughing about how you nearly caused your siblings death or how you gave them trauma#yeah i saw those tiktok screenshots on instagram and as someone with an older sister i despise them same as those memes of olders siblings#(mostly older brothers) joking about beating their little brothers up#sibling abuse#toxic siblings#older sibling#older siblings#younger sibling#younger siblings#middle child#abusive sibling#abusive siblings#abusive sister#abusive sisters#abusive brother#abusive brothers
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TG: i really
TG: dont want to be alone?
TG: i dont have any friends karkat
CG: DAVE.
CG: I AM YOUR FRIEND.
TG: hes all i have
CG: THAT’S NOT EVEN REMOTELY A TRUE THING.
TG: it is
CG: I MEAN I MIGHT NOT COUNT BECAUSE I’M MORTAL.
CG: SO IF YOU’RE GOING SUPER CATASTROPHIZING BIG PICTURE THEN YEAH I’M NOT GONNA BE AROUND FOREVER.
CG: BUT ROSE AND JADE EXIST, DUDE.
CG: THEY ARE ALSO FUNCTIONALLY IMMORTAL.
TG: they dont talk to me any more
TG: ive invited them over a few times
TG: john gets like
TG: jealous
CG: JOHN GETS JEALOUS.
CG: OF YOU TALKING TO ROSE AND JADE.
TG: he
TG: kind of has meltdowns whenever i pay attention to anyone thats not him
TG: but he cant help it
TG: i mean i can understand being insecure im trying to be sympathetic
CG: WHAT HAPPENS DURING THE MELTDOWNS?
TG: he just gets really cold and angry at me
TG: doesnt talk to me
TG: id prefer he talk to me
TG: so i dont talk to anyone else so hell keep talking to me
CG: DOES HE HAVE OTHER FRIENDS? PEOPLE HE TALKS TO OUTSIDE THE RELATIONSHIP?
TG: yeah
TG: mostly other versions of me
TG: which feels great by the way i love it when he does that
TG: i guess im a jealous asshole too
CG: OK, LISTEN.
CG: IF I SAY SOMETHING WILL YOU PROMISE NOT TO FLIP OUT.
TG: can i remain perched on the handle even if i dont pirouette
CG: YEAH, THAT WORKS.
CG: ALRIGHT HERE’S THE THING.
CG: TAKE A DEEP BREATH:
CG: JOHN HAS ISSUES.
TG: no fuckin duh
TG: dont we all
CG: UH, NO.
CG: NOT THE KIND OF ISSUES YOU ARE DESCRIBING, NO.
TG: obviously we cant all have the same issues
TG: but we all do have issues
CG: GETTING COLD AND ANGRY DOESN’T SOUND LIKE A MELTDOWN AT ALL IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT IS VERY EASILY CONTROLLED.
TG: ok maybe i am the one having meltdowns
CG: WHEN HE’S UPSET BECAUSE YOU TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE DOES HE ACT COLD AND ANGRY TOWARD EVERYONE HE TALKS TO?
CG: OR JUST YOU?
TG: just me
CG: OKAY, SEE, THEN IT’S SOMETHING HE CAN HELP.
CG: IF IT WAS TOTALLY OUT OF HIS CONTROL THEN IT WOULDN’T BE DIRECTED AT A SPECIFIC PERSON.
TG: what if its out of his control because its our relationship though
TG: its kinda different from everything else isnt it??
TG: so
CG: I KIND OF FEEL LIKE YOU’RE REACHING.
CG: THERE ARE WAYS FOR HIM TO LET YOU KNOW HE’S UPSET WITHOUT BEING A FROTHING DOUCHENOZZLE.
CG: SEE: TALKING ABOUT THINGS.
CG: I MEAN EVEN IF HE TALKED TO YOU ABOUT IT I’D STILL SAY HE HAS ISSUES BECAUSE BEING THAT FANATICALLY JEALOUS IS KIND OF. UH.
CG: BUT AT LEAST IT’S BETTER THAN BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE!
TG: we do kind of talk about it
TG: and like when we talk about it we seem to reach amicable agreements about what needs to be better
CG: SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS AGREE NEEDS TO BE BETTER?
TG: uh
TG: great this is gonna sound shit
TG: that i just need to remember he loves me and that as long as hes here im not alone
CG: …
TG: a lot of agreements about mental actions i need to be taking but not really any other actionable items
CG: OK I NEED TO SAY ANOTHER THING THAT MIGHT FREAK YOU OUT.
TG: im kneading my temples
TG: what
CG: REST ASSURED I’M ALSO KNEADING MY TEMPLES.
CG: IT SOUNDS LIKE HE’S ABUSING YOU.
TG: oh fgudjfg
TG: no
TG: no he isnt
CG: DAVE
CG: BREATHE
CG: OK?
TG: no
CG: I COULD BE WRONG, I AM JUST GIVING YOU THE IMPRESSION I HAVE RIGHT NOW.
TG: thats not even remotely whats happening here you cant say that
TG: yeah
CG: OKAY.
TG: you dont know what were like
TG: he leaves me really sweet notes
TG: he buys me flowers
TG: he tells me nice things
CG: I AM STILL ABSOLUTELY NOT CONTESTING THAT YOU GUYS LOVE EACH OTHER.
CG: OKAY?
TG: ok
CG: I’M JUST SAYING THAT A LOT OF THIS IS REALLY WORRYING.
CG: AND I GET THAT IT’S HARD TO SEE THAT IT’S WORRYING OR WHY IT’S WORRYING SINCE YOU’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF IT RIGHT NOW.
CG: SO I’M JUST TELLING YOU WHAT I’M SEEING. AND YOU’RE RIGHT THAT I AM NOT IN THE ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP, SO MY IMPRESSION OF IT *MIGHT* BE SKEWED.
CG: PLEASE DON’T SHUT DOWN ON ME.
TG: ok i
TG: i wont
TG: im still present
TG: what if this is the best i deserve though
CG: IT’S NOT.
TG: it is
TG: i should be happy i even get this
TG: i should be happy to be alive
CG: THAT’S RATIONALIZING.
TG: i think im really just ungrateful
CG: I AM PRETTY SURE THAT’S NOT THE PROBLEM.
TG: look maybe i do deserve this in all honesty maybe taking care of john even as he trains for the self-destruction olympics is how i can prove my worth to this world
TG: whos going to do it if not me??
TG: its not abusive if i can choose to leave at any time
CG: DRAGS MY HANDS DOWN MY FACE
CG: THAT’S ALSO NOT EVEN A TRUE THING
CG: AND BESIDES IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU CAN’T CHOOSE TO LEAVE!
CG: BECAUSE YOU’RE CUT OFF FROM ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS!
CG: AND COMMUNICATION WITH ANYONE WHO ISN’T HIM!
CG: YOU’RE COMPLETELY DEPENDENT ON HIM FOR COMFORT AND SAFETY AND SANITY SO OF COURSE YOU’RE NOT GOING TO CONSIDER LEAVING AN OPTION.
TG: ok um fuck
TG: lets not zoom out so much
CG: ZOOM OUT.
TG: theres nothing i can do about
TG: well
TG: i just
TG: i want to make this work can we please just focus on how i can make this livable
CG: YOU NEED TO TELL JOHN THAT YOU’RE UNHAPPY AND WHY YOU’RE UNHAPPY.
CG: AND IF YOU FEEL UNSAFE DOING THAT THEN YOU NEED TO DO IT WITH A MEDIATOR THERE.
CG: AND YOU NEED TO FIND OUT IF HE’S WILLING TO LET GO OF HIS HANGUPS AND CHANGE OR NOT.
TG: i cant
TG: you just have to give me some jedi mindtricks to play on myself so im not as affected when things dont go my way ok
CG: IT SOUNDS LIKE ALL THE RELATIONSHIP TALKS YOU’VE BEEN HAVING HAVE BEEN ABOUT *HIS* ISSUES WITH *YOU*
CG: AND IT’S WELL AND GOOD THAT HE FEELS COMFORTABLE EXPLAINING THE THINGS THAT MAKE HIM UNCOMFORTABLE
CG: BUT THAT HAS TO BE A TWO WAY STREET.
CG: BOTH PARTIES NEED TO BE WILLING TO COMPROMISE.
TG: i cant
TG: i cant do that
CG: OH MY GOD.
CG: LET ME GIVE THIS TO YOU STRAIGHT.
CG: THIS DYNAMIC CANNOT CONTINUE AS IT IS.
CG: THE RELATIONSHIP EITHER NEEDS TO END OR JOHN NEEDS TO BE WILLING TO FIX HIS END OF THINGS.
TG: karkat i cant tell him that i am unhappy
CG: DAVE.
TG: i have in the past
CG: THERE IS NO COMBINATION OF WORDS YOU CAN TELL YOURSELF THAT’S GOING TO RATIONALIZE ALL OF THIS SO HARD THAT IT MAKES YOU HAPPY.
CG: YOU CAN KEEP LYING TO YOURSELF AND IT’S GOING TO KEEP MAKING YOU FEEL FUCKING MISERABLE.
CG: BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING TO WONDER WHAT YOU’RE DOING WRONG WHEN YOU’RE PUTTING SO MUCH INTO THE RELATIONSHIP AND YOU STILL FEEL SO SHITTY ABOUT IT.
CG: AND HIS BEHAVIOR IS STILL GOING TO HURT YOU BECAUSE HE’S NOT TREATING YOU FAIRLY.
CG: AND THE ONLY WAY YOU’RE GOING TO RATIONALIZE HIS BEHAVIOR IS IF YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT YOU DESERVE IT.
CG: AND THAT’S GOING TO MAKE YOU CONTINUE FEELING LIKE A GARBAGE DUMP.
CG: SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE. YOU’VE CLEARLY TRIED RATIONALIZING ALREADY AND IT’S NOT WORKING OUT.
TG: karkat i cant talk to him about it and i need you to not make what im about to say a big deal because its not
TG: i have tried to talk to him about it before and he socked me in the face and
TG: told me i was
TG: i guess it doesnt matter
TG: but as long as i dont bring it up he wont hit me i need a solution that doesnt involve talking about how unhappy i am
CG: YOU NEED TO GET OUT.
TG: no
CG: NO DAVE I’M DEAD FUCKING SERIOUS.
TG: hes the only thing in this shitty world that makes me happy
CG: COME STAY WITH ME FOR A BIT.
TG: i cant
TG: he might need me
CG: OF COURSE YOU CAN. I HAVE SPACE.
TG: no karkat please listen to me
TG: i cant leave because hes the only person in the whole world that makes me feel okay
CG: DAVE
CG: YOU DON’T HAVE TO LEAVE FOREVER.
TG: i dont want him to hate me hes my boyfriend
CG: OR CUT OFF ALL CONTACT.
CG: JUST COME STAY WITH ME FOR A WEEK OR TWO.
CG: GET SOME SPACE TO BREATHE FOR A BIT.
TG: i dont want to be a burden on you
CG: YOU WON’T BE.
TG: how on earth could i not be
CG: YOU’RE GOOD COMPANY AND SLIGHTLY LOWER MAINTENANCE THAN A CAT.
TG: i dont know how to tell john id be staying with you
TG: he might break up with me if i do
CG: I CAN TELL HIM IF YOU WANT.
TG: …
TG: ok
CG: OKAY.
CG: I’LL GET THE COUCH PULLED OUT SO YOU HAVE A PLACE TO SLEEP.
TG: fuck
TG: karkat i cant hes really mentally ill
TG: i have to be there for him
CG: YOU WILL HAVE YOUR PHONE.
CG: IF THERE’S AN EMERGENCY HE’LL BE ABLE TO CONTACT YOU.
CG: AND IF YOU NEED TO GO HOME I WILL COME WITH YOU.
CG: I’M INSERTING MYSELF AS THE MEDIATOR. THAT JUST HAPPENED.
TG: no no no oh god that is literally the exact definition of a burden
TG: i dont want to be that
CG: LITERALLY NOT BURDENING ME.
TG: im sorry for bothering you i gotta go ttyl
CG: IF IT WAS A PROBLEM I WOULDN’T DO IT.
CG: DAVE
CG: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE GET BACK HERE
CG: WHAT YOU’RE FAILING TO REMEMBER IS HOW MUCH I LOVE MEDDLING IN PEOPLE’S RELATIONSHIPS GOD DAMMIT YOU ASSHOLE YOU DIDN’T BOTHER ME AT ALL I SWEAR TO GOD
TG: you promise
TG: that this isnt some massive inconvenience to you and you dont hate me
CG: I SWEAR ON TROLL WILL SMITH.
CG: I DON’T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER THIS ABOUT ME OR NOT, BUT I’M PRETTY FORWARD ABOUT HATING PEOPLE.
TG: hate me in a platonic despising way not a you wanna bang me way
CG: I DON’T HATE YOU IN EITHER A PLATONIC OR A ROMANTIC WAY.
CG: YOU WOULD KNOW IF I DID.
TG: ok
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