taliasahbaz

[taliasahbaz]

i’m just so angry all the time.

and i don’t know what to do with it.

[taliasahbaz]

“He won’t realize it tomorrow, a week from now, a month or even a year from now, no, but he will realize many years down the line what he missed having with you. When he’s in an unhappy and loveless relationship, he’ll think of you and your unrelenting passion and fire you burned for him. He’ll think how you wouldn’t allow him to walk all over you, and will begin to admire your stance on standing up for yourself, and recognizing your worth. You see, back then he wasn’t ready, mentally and emotionally, to refuel you like you fueled him. He didn’t know how to handle your flame so he allowed you to burn out. But believe me, the day will come, when he finds himself thinking how his life got to the point of doing what he thought made others happy, only to realize the one thing that made HIM happy, was you.”

[taliasahbaz]

stormstorm

[taliasahbaz]

High sensitivity

I don’t know why I think of this possibility only now, while I should have realised it way sooner (c’mon, I’m a fucking psychology student): I must be a high sensitive person! 

Like, I’ve always been a huge crybaby, from the cradle to emerging adulthood. If someone is pissed off at me and starts screaming: I start crying. If I’m pissed off: I start crying. If I think about past hurt: I start crying. If I watch some drama movie: I start crying. For the most banal things (like looking forward to eating spaghetti, but then come home and have fishsticks for dinner): I start crying. Sometimes even without a clear reason. And from the moment the tears are flowing, it seems almost impossible for me to stop. Lately, I’ve been like: “DAFUQ IS WRONG WITH MEH?!? Am I like depressed or something?” But apart from the crying, a huge need for sleep, difficulty falling asleep, low energy, concentration problems and total lack of motivation (mostly in the education department), I cannot say I’m suffering from other symptoms. So I was like “Hmm…could I just maybe be…too sensitive? Hypersensitive?” I filled in some checklist on the internet and I recognised myself in many statements. Let’s see:

I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment.

Other people’s moods affect me: When people cry, I cry (big surprise)

I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days, into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation.

I have a rich, complex inner life.

I am made uncomfortable by loud noises: My mom shouting at me, killing!

I am deeply moved by the arts or music: I remember that I used to be moved, accompanied by crying (of course) by dolphin music as a child

My nervous system sometimes feels so frazzled that I just have to go off by myself.

I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time.

I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.

I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things.

I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, works of art.

I find it unpleasant to have a lot going on at once.

I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations: I need to! I have (undiagnosed) dermatillomania/compulsive skin picking. When I feel overwhelmed (which happens a lot), I can’t help but scratch myself since it provides some sort of “relief”. Doesn’t really help my eczema…

When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise.

When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy: I’m still seen as such by many

[taliasahbaz]

And, I’m sad. Again.

[taliasahbaz]

Sad birds still sing.

[taliasahbaz]

Beautiful Amsterdam

#amsterdam #sky #pink sky #clouds #views

[taliasahbaz]

I Photographed The Cherry Blossoms… In Amsterdam!

[taliasahbaz]

[taliasahbaz]

just don’t

[taliasahbaz]

The worst feeling is realizing you were used by the one you cared for, so they could get over someone else.

[taliasahbaz]

“Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.”

— Oscar Wilde

[taliasahbaz]

“She was life itself. Wild and free. Wonderfully chaotic. A perfectly put together mess.”

— The Better Man Project

[taliasahbaz]

[taliasahbaz]

✿ He was her favourite drug ✿

[taliasahbaz]

[taliasahbaz]

- وقل ربِّ أعوذُ بكَ من همزاتِ الشَّياطين وأعُوذُ بك رَبِّ أن يحضُرُون - كل شيء يحدث لسبب ما - كن خيِّرا وسيعود الخير لك - لاشيء يدوم - لا إمام سوى العقل - تألمت فتعلمت فتغيرت - ناي - استقلال - كُلنا خطاة