the-book-squirm

[the-book-squirm]

I think I’ve just accepted that I’ll be going into hospital :(

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Today my psychiatrist looked at me and said, “you need to be in hospital.”

I cried and perhaps persuaded her that we could do ECT as an outpatient, however, she said I’m psychotic and perhaps don’t have the ability to consent to treatment. Also my parents are going away soon so I’d have nowhere to stay after.

So I’m seeing her again on Thursday and also having a second opinion as to whether or not I can consent, if I need it, if it needs to be done “involuntarily” and if I need to be admitted.

So that was all pretty shit.

I expected her to just adjust medication or wait for this agitation and hallucinations to end but it all seemed quite serious.

I’m quite nervous.

I hate it there :(

[the-book-squirm]

Holidays are over as of today and back to work tomorrow

😩

I was struggling af the beginning bur now I am sooo relaxed and can’t accept that I go home today :(

Luckily we’ve booked two escape rooms today, will be stopping at this amazing ice cream place before driving home and I’m having dinner with parents so it’s not like I’m just driving home and then sitting around the unit, feeling sad.

#personal #holiday

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Back on risperidone.

Back to akathisia.

Uggggh.

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I was sad because my friend’s working and we could have been drinking/swimming/eating but I have Uber eats and a view so yknow... not too bad... 🤷🏻‍♀️

#personal #holiday

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I’m not asking this to be rude, but do you have mental illness?

when i checked my spotify stats yesterday, my most listened to track for this year was the angry birds theme song. hope this answers your question!

#100% me but it was Call Me Maybe. got manic and listened thousands of times bahaha

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honestly when aliens arrive we should start having sex with them as soon as possible. so when they decide to take over a lot of them already have emotional connections/physical offspring and will form a sizeable resistance. not me, i don’t want to, but i know a lot of you would be into that, and i’m telling you it’s okay, you’re actually the last hope for our species.

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So I’ve finally watched Ratched and I would just like to take a moment to appreciate how fucking sexy Sarah Paulson is like ohhh my god.

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Just a reminder that it is not your vet’s job to report if your pet got into recreational drugs. We aren’t snitches, we have no obligation to report drug use. We do, however, want to save your pet so please be honest with us about what your pet got into. It could literally be life and death for them.

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On holidays and playing with watercolours

#painting #watercolour #watercolor #birds #illustration

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Liana Farmer on Instagram

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I wonder when The Fray was writing “How to Save a Life” they knew that it would be used in every hospital/doctor TV series ever at some point.

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I’ve had soo many thoughts about what I might study but I’ve finally started the process to see what credit I’m eligible for in an Anaesthetic Technology course (they are basically like an assistant to the anaesthetist. I did a similar job (clinical assistant where I worked in theatre) as a student and really loved it, plus it’s about a 5 minute walk from my new home).

I’m hoping I’d get enough credit that it would make it a part time course

🤞🏻

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the reason you were able to read more and do more activities in a day when you were a kid than you do as an adult isn’t because you got stupider, it’s because as a child you generally had your base needs taken care of and your schedule provided to you, so you didn’t have to use as much of your mental and physical energy on planning, life maintenance (ie food and administrative tasks), and general executive function. of course you could focus on reading a novel in two days, somebody else made your lunches and you never thought about phone bills and you didn’t even have to decide for yourself when to take a bath. c’mon

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I mean it’s disappointing that I won’t be able to do all the beach/sunrise yoga and swimming I had planned (I mentioned it to the surgeon and he looked at me like I was insane and said Uh NO?!) but it’s gonna be chilllllll and I’m so excited.

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I GO ON HOLIDAYS FOR TWO WEEKS AS OF TOMORROW AND I. CAN’T. WAIT.

#personal #5 November 2020

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Supposed to be working tomorrow but psych wanted me to have more ECT so here we are