the-desperate-stargazer

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IT'S SEPTEMBER IT'S AUTUMN AND IT'S PUMPKINS AND LEAVES AND IT'S POETRY AND RAIN AND WIND AND IT'S HARRY POTTER SEASON AND HOT CHOCOLATE AND TEA AND DEAD POETS SOCIETY SEASON AND TAYLOR SWIFT SEASON AND SPOOKY SEASON AND IT'S BOOKS AND CANDLES AND AAAAAAAAA

[the-desperate-stargazer]

fatima aamer bilal, excerpt from moony moonless sky’s i know fire like i know my home; they burn the same.

[the-desperate-stargazer]

fatima aamer bilal, from so this is all i will ever be?

[text id: how did i grow old so young? / how did i forget to live before i lived at all?]

[the-desperate-stargazer]

To be young and light and full of life is beautiful in its own right. You see, I wouldn’t trade my twenties for my teen years or my thirties or for anything other than what it is –doesn’t that scream something?

–An excerpt from "This Daughter Survived Grief: An Essay" (2023) by Shabnam Siddique

[the-desperate-stargazer]

Driving me in their cars to catch sparkling sunsets, or dinner dates, or simply to see me safely home, I discovered joy in the soft company of gorgeous girls even though they’ve not known me for long.

–An excerpt from "This Daughter Survived Grief: An Essay" (2023) by Shabnam Siddique

[the-desperate-stargazer]

no offense but I’ve decided I’m gonna stop being sad and start being unbelievably powerful, creative, and full of love & light

[the-desperate-stargazer]

cat got my tongue/ and i don’t think i get along with anyone/ blood running cold/ i’m on the outside of the greatest inside joke/ and i hate/ all my clothes/ feels like my skin doesn’t fit right over my bones/ so i guess/ i should go/ the party’s done and i’m no fun/ i know i know/ i know/ i know/ i broke a glass, i tripped and fell i told secrets i shouldn’t tell/ i stumbled over all my words/ i made it weird, i made it worse/ each time i step outside/ it’s social suicide/ it’s social suicide/ wanna curl up and die/ it’s social suicide—

—Olivia Rodrigo in ballad of a homeschooled girl, from guts (2023)

[the-desperate-stargazer]

all joy and no cheer

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Natasha Trethewey, from Thrall: Poems; "Mythology"

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Tomihiko Morimi, The Tatami Galaxy (translated by Emily Balistrieri)

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may god forgive my wretched sins (spent money)

[the-desperate-stargazer]

i would like to stop making realizations about my childhood now. i think i've learned enough, thanks.

[the-desperate-stargazer]

today, i saw a spider and i pointed it out to someone, and they killed it. they didn't shame me. they didn't terrorise me. they didn't taunt me. they didn't laugh at me. they didn't humiliate me. they didn't gaslight me. today, i saw a spider and someone just calmly killed it.

#small poetry #emotional abuse #poems about trauma #childhood trauma #fear of spiders #phobia #healing and recovery #scapegoat #child abuse

[the-desperate-stargazer]

I’m no longer afraid of them. But what’s left is an empty hole where their love never was.

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everyone talks about cutting off a toxic parent

but no one ever talks about the pain of wanting a parent but knowing yours cannot love you the way they should

[the-desperate-stargazer]

I want to go back to the beginning. We all do. I think: hurt won’t be there. But I’m wrong.

Gregory Orr, from Concerning The Book That Is The Body Of The Beloved