thechangelingchild

[thechangelingchild]

[thechangelingchild]

[thechangelingchild]

[thechangelingchild]

[thechangelingchild]

[thechangelingchild]

[thechangelingchild]

[thechangelingchild]

all creation cries

holy forever

#Youtube

[thechangelingchild]

[thechangelingchild]

[thechangelingchild]

I wish some moments had been captured on video.  But then again, that might ruin them. It’s not my place to mess with life. A moment is more meaningful when it’s just a moment. Fleeting. 

Dovelyy diary 07/06/11

[thechangelingchild]

I want to write a dozen letters

signed, and stamped, and sealed

and send them off to reach my lover

to tell him how I feel.

[thechangelingchild]

“Most people die at 25 and aren’t buried until they’re 75”

— Benjamin Franklin (via johnnygallagher)

[thechangelingchild]

I can't possibly study for my midterm. I'm busy trying to become 2014 Dove Cameron.

“Well, let it pass, he thought; April is over, April is over. There are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same love twice.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald, Magnetism

[thechangelingchild]

Returning to Simplicity from Dove Cameron

Dear Diary,

Concrete Wall by Zee Avi has been playing for the past hour on repeat, I’m on very heavy pain medication for my wisdom teeth, I have an untouched white mug of now cold milk, and I have never felt more at peace with myself. 

I blocked ten people from my Twitter today. It’s very interesting to me that the kindest, warmest and loveliest people are people whom I’ve never had any contact with in my life, and may know me better than any of the people who think that because they’ve met me, they know me. I feel a deep aching sadness for people who judge before they love. If you judge before you love, you have no time to love, and therefore you are hurting yourself. Like holding onto a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone, you create a scar in your palm while waiting for the right moment to throw it. 

Boom Sha Clack Clack. 

I’m purifying my life, starting tonight. Tomorrow, I’m waking up, gathering all clutter and color, somehow synonymous in my mind, and giving it to someone who needs it. I’ll later replace it with all white objects. White bed, white bookshelf, white dresser, white bedside table and white candles. I’m also starting a 100% pure diet tomorrow. I want that feeling of purity that my life has ben grazing past and shaving pieces off of these past few months. The dust has been collecting under my fingernails, and I’ve been meaning to pay attention to it. I think that starts tomorrow. 

When my father took his own life, I couldn’t imagine anything bigger than that ever happening to me. I couldn’t see past it, it had a hazy, impermeable face, and I couldn’t even look at it or open my eyes while I was making my way through it, hands in front of me, step by step. But now, I think it was that exact incident that was making way for something even bigger. Impossibly bigger. Bigger than myself, or anything that had happened to me up until that point. I’m just now beginning to realize the gravity of where my life is headed. I think my psyche is protecting itself from anything that it doesn’t have the bandwidth to deal with, but I’m slowly feather-dusting away the matter and starting to see the golden writing on the floor boards. 

Boom Sha Clack Clack. 

People are so impossibly wonderful. The ones who aren’t obviously wonderful are the wounded ones, and they should be shown the most love. 

I’ve noticed that the more comfortable I become with myself, and the more that I fall in love with myself, the more I am capable of loving others fully and with all of me and with a much deeper level of understanding. I have this overwhelming sense of full-ness. I feel full and complete in this moment, and at this stage in my life. 

I love run on sentences. 

I burnt my thumb while lighting my Vanilla scented candle. But I’m kind of appreciating it right now, It’s reminding me just how alive I am. 

It’s always a very strange thing, filming the last scene. I can’t explain the feeling. 

Acting in general, is very strange. In order for your character to be realistic, compelling or convincing, you need to, on some level, actually feel the things that you are speaking. And when you spend so much time with one person, feeling the feelings of your characters, really feeling them, you are bound to form a bond. You have an experience that no one else can have, an experience that is your own and that you share together. In a few short weeks, you can develop feelings that might otherwise take years. You form inside jokes, share secrets, you get to know each other’s quirks and downfalls. They get to know you on a very intimate level, they know about all of your struggles, your weaknesses. They’re protective of you. You have to be vulnerable with each other. It’s intense, to be thrown together like that. 

Boom Sha Clack Clack.

I miss Cozi with every piece of me. She’s such a light in my life. I’ve always wanted to be an older sister, and through filming The Disney Pilot, I feel like I have learned how to dance that dance. It’s so impossibly hard to break that kind of bond. Filming with someone is such an intimate thing. I bonded with the whole cast, of course, but Cozi and I had far more scenes together than anyone else. A bond like ours is bound to happen with all of that time spent together. I remember on the last day of filming the pilot, I broke down in tears when I hugged her. And cried sporadically on the way home thinking about how much I was going to miss her. I don’t know what I’ll do with myself if the pilot doesn’t get picked up. She’s such a wonderful person, so full of love. We’re so much alike, and yet, she makes me a better person. The world needs that little one. I can’t wait to see what she does for it. 

I’m going to miss Simon so much. There are a few people in your life, and there will only be a few, who just know you. They see you for what you are. That instantaneous comfortability. That is the main deciding factor in casting rooms. When people connect, you can see it on screen. The camera picks up the emotion, if it’s palpable. I learned so much from him, and I couldn’t exactly tell you what it was that I learned, and I’m not sure I would want to be able to articulate it. I feel that it might lose it’s magic. I have a strange feeling that we’ll work with each other again in the future. 

I cannot wait for it to be Fall and Winter. The idea of white pea-coats, fur-lined boots, hot cocoa, egg-nog lattes, falling leaves, pine cones, cold air, cuddling to stay warm, the flickering of a fireplace, endless days of baking for the holidays, long movie days with Veronica, reading for hours and hours under a blanket with warm tea, journaling in a coffee shop…it practically has me swooning.

The prospect of rain. The sound of the rain on my roof at night. The way that the rain can always make my perfectly straight hair, curly and untamable. Wild. The way that the rain can softly lull me to sleep at night, and shatter my nightmares to welcome me to a new day in the morning. The gift of puddles that the rain gives me to play in. The ever encompassing feel of the damp air, the wind carrying you on your everyday path of ordinary errands. The Washington trees, looming one hundred feet over my head, protecting me from the sun and the outside world. Telling me their centuries old secrets by the fire at night, keeping me quiet, listening to their wise tales. Yes, I think a trip to Washington with my best friend Veronica is long overdue. 

Speaking of Veronica. 

What a blessing in my life is Veronica. She’s so incredibly wonderful. I couldn’t ask for a better best friend. It’s odd to write about her. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to find words that fit her perfectly. I’m not convinced they’ve been invented yet. She’s the epitome of beautiful. Completely unabashedly and unapologetically herself, and I’m not sure anything is more beautiful than that. She’s like warm honey. She sees right through me, and she’s loved me since before she knew me, and she’s something that I didn’t know I needed. She fits me. 

I have a very strong desire to tear up the carpet on the floor of my room. I’ve been wanting to all night. 

I think I need to move. I’m getting restless. 

Boom Sha Clack Clack. 

Time to heat up that milk that I’ve long ago abandoned. 

I hope your night is full of endless discoveries and beauty~

Returning to Simplicity. 

All of my love, 

Dove

[thechangelingchild]

I always dreamed that I would one day receive a letter with lots of stamps on it because it would have been lost in the mail. That I would rip open its seal and find that a distant aunt or uncle had left me an old and forgotten house. That I would find there treasures and whispers of the former owner’s life. One that was full of adventure and magic. That I would inherit a home not just a house. Who knows? I haven’t checked the mail yet today. I could find a fat faded envelope hidden between the bills.

Spiderwick house

[thechangelingchild]