thestudiousstoner

[thestudiousstoner]

That moment when you drafted a HUGE exposé on someone (with receipts) and Tumblr deletes the file.

Cool.

#mine

[thestudiousstoner]

In exactly 60 days, I'll be a wife! Life is crazy.

(taken back in Aug 2023)

#mine

[thestudiousstoner]

Some recent favorites from my Momentum homepage. They're so pretty!

#mine #momentum

[thestudiousstoner]

gentle reminder you can rise up from everything. you can recreate yourself. nothing is permanent. you are not stuck. you have choices. you can think new thoughts. you can learn something new. you can create new habits. all that matters is that you decide today and never look back.

[thestudiousstoner]

Dear girls and boys that are pro-mia...

Before you scroll past, thinking that this is just another anti-mia bitch fit, please hear me out.

At the moment, I am sitting in my bed, a dozen pillows holding me upright, because I cannot lie down. I’m hungry, but only drinking warm water, because I can’t chew nor eat or drink anything cold. I have not slept in two days. And every ten minutes or so, I get a shooting pain from my bottom jaw, up through my cheekbone, into my eye, so intense that its too much to even cry. Why? Because of an illness that you like to embrace, one you have nicknamed like an old friend, bulimia.

I used to be a bit like you. Granted, I was never pro-Ana or pro-Mia; I truly have an illness that I didn’t ask for, that I struggle with every day. But I was like you in thinking that all of the bad things that I do to my body would pay off. I would be skinny, which meant that I would be beautiful. And all of the bad things that they warn you about, that happen to your body after prolonged purging or starvation wouldn’t happen to me. But the thing is, and I know you’re probably rolling your eyes, skinny and beautiful are not synonymous. And some of those bad things that I thought could never touch me, did.

When I was 11, I got braces. By 14, after said braces and after two periodontal surgeries, I had beautiful, straight, white teeth. All of my teeth were accounted for and together, they created a smile worth over $10,000. I used to hate my smile, despite its perfection. And I’m kicking myself for that, now. I’m 24 years old and those perfect, white teeth are yellow. Once sharp, their edges are rounded and dull. My front tooth has a big, brown cavity in it that everyone can see when I smile. And in the last two years, I have lost 4 teeth. Depending on what the dentist says about my current situation, I could be looking at 5 and 6. My smile still continues to be one of my insecurities, but now, it’s for good reason. For I have ruined it.

I am sitting in my bed, a dozen pillows holding me upright, because I cannot lie down. I’m hungry, but only drinking warm water, because I can’t chew nor eat or drink anything cold. I have not slept in two days. And every ten minutes or so, I get a shooting pain from my bottom jaw, up through my cheekbone, into my eye, so intense that its too much to even cry. In the last 24 hours, I have taken 8 extra strength Tylenol, 6 extra strength Ibuprofen, 2 Vicodin, 2 lidocaine patches, and I know, that is an INSANE amount of medication for one tiny body in so little time, but nothing has come close to touching the pain.

THIS is just one of the many things that happens to your body when you have bulimia. Why in the world would someone want this? You starve yourselves or make yourselves purge because you think that that is the price of beauty, right? Is there anything beautiful about rotten teeth? Teeth that are discolored, eroded, teeth that break when you chew? Teeth that hurt, all the time? If there isn’t anything else that can convince you, not the risk of heart attack, esophageal damage, heart failure, death…let this be it. Take it from someone who is living the HELL you are confusing with heaven. Cut the pro-Mia bullshit, stop glorifying illness, talk to a professional, and save your pretty smiles. Save your bodies. Save your life.

Side note: This could also apply to pro-ana, but I can only speak on behalf of one.

[thestudiousstoner]

I haven't been on this blog in a hot second. What's new?

I'm 30 now. Have I been on here since I turned 30? I assume so because I'm actually 31 but I don't remember what my last personal post was. So yay, thirties!

I'm also currently a sophomore at university, which is crazy. I'm flying through my degree.

I'm getting married in 94 days.

Tumblr is apparently a paid service now if you want no ads?

#mine

[thestudiousstoner]

watching the sunrise at the marsh

#mine #sunrise

[thestudiousstoner]

[thestudiousstoner]

[thestudiousstoner]

this might be a hot take but i actually don’t think humans were meant to know what is going on in everyone’s lives all over the world every second of the day and constantly be available for conversations or collaborations or call-ins for work and texts and phone calls and social media posts without end. i think we were supposed to just help the people around us and spend time with our family and friends and eat yummy bread and berries and relax

[thestudiousstoner]

Here is a little scruffy Eddie to help you get through the day

Please give credit if you repost or use

[thestudiousstoner]

😭😭 I love piggies so much

[thestudiousstoner]

GORDON RAMSAY: Right mate, I had a look at the walk-in and it's a fucking disgrace. How often did you say you swap out the imprisoned child whose continual suffering is the bedrock of your patrons' happiness MANAGER: The suffering child? Once a year, chef GORDON RAMSAY: My eye you do! Yours's been in there so long he's gone beardy! Fuck me, he looks like he could just rent a car and drive off any day now. No wonder everybody who sees this place walks away from it

[thestudiousstoner]

[thestudiousstoner]

Women, if your guy acts like this LEAVE HIM.

[thestudiousstoner]

my niece doesn't know she's right 🌷

[thestudiousstoner]

happy friday from the would-be besties 🍕💨