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tinayoufatlarrdd · 3 years

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Games

Blue.

As far as Harry’s eyes could see, everything was blue. It’s so peaceful and calming. The sound of the ocean sweeping the sand, distant kids’ laughter carried away with the wind that softly brushed his curls.

If he shut his eyes, he could almost paint her eyes. Her eyes were quite indescribable—they were not just blue, there’s a splotch of green and a slight hazel. They’re… perfectly iridescent, just like her.

It’s not a secret between his circle that Harry really liked her, he had been for quite awhile now. But every time he suggested them—even when it’s so subtle—to go beyond the friendship mark, she always pulled away further from him. She drove him crazy.

Harry didn’t know either how despite having dated several other people since he lost hope on her, he couldn’t seem to erase her from his mind. Perhaps it’s true what people say, you always want what you can’t have.

“Dreaming about me?”

Her voice disrupted his little siesta, he almost believed she had entered his realm of dreams. There she was, head blocking the sun, cheeky smile teasing Harry who just stared at her, infatuated.

“Hey… You made it,” he sat up and couldn’t help but smile.

She looked so beautiful with her bucket hat on, and of course her lovely skin glowed under the sun and highlighted by her floral yellow bikini.

“I know, crazy, right?! One day I’m in on the other end of the country and the next day I’m here, the other other end of the country!” She giggled.

She sat down and laid her rotan basket filled with skin product, towels, and a bottle of wine. Harry’s eyes were so fixated on her that he didn’t realize there’s another person behind her the whole time, unfolding the towel and laying it out on the sand. She then sat on the towel with the other person.

“Silly me, I forgot!” She grinned, realizing that Harry had been staring at her company. “Harry, this is my friend, Y/N. Y/N this is my friend, Harry.”

Y/N turned to Harry and gave a cordial smile. Harry waved his hand as if saying hello and examined her for a second. On the contrary, Y/N was not at all smiley. She was so quiet that he didn’t even notice her. Her shoulder-length hair often covered her face and she wore baggy t-shirt and shorts instead of bathing suit. Harry didn’t really pay attention, though. It’s not a surprise that his lifelong crush often had all type of friends over from every place imaginable in the world. She was just that easygoing.

“Y/N is my childhood friend. She just moved to the city so she’s staying at my place for a couple of months,” she explained as she put on her sunscreen.

“Well, Y/N, be prepared for the Oscar-winning fart,” Harry teased.

She playfully punched Harry’s arm. “It’s just that one time and we had curry!”

Y/N chuckled.

“Hey, let’s go to the water!” She stood up immediately and ran to the ocean.

Harry stared at her body that now looked smaller and smaller, until she looked like a tiny dot in the blue ocean. He turned to his left and saw Y/N flip open a book.

“So how long have you known Alessandra?” Harry tried to break the ice.

Y/N didn’t seem to realize that he was talking to her.

“Y/N?”

“Oh, hi, sorry?” Y/N closed her book.

“How long have you known Alessandra?”

“It must’ve been around ten years,” she answered shortly.

“Wow, you must’ve really known her well,” Harry opened a can of beer and passed another one for Y/N.

“Hmm,” Y/N grabbed the beer, opened it in one swift and sips it, not eager to answer Harry’s question.

Dead silence.

“So, what are you doing in the city?” Harry tried again.

“I just got a job at a restaurant…” she answered lowly, almost ashamed. “I want to be a writer though, so I hope I’ll get there.”

“That’s really great. Hey, good luck,” Harry seemed to have concluded the conversation, also not eager to continue this dead-end interaction. “’m going to the water.”

He waved a quick goodbye to Y/N and run to the water, joining Alessandra. He must’ve thought Y/N was quite a bummer—a terrible conversation partner.

Y/N didn’t mind that impression though. For years now, she had found that talking was not her best skill. She didn’t have the charisma and charm when it came to conversing with other people. So she learned to be content with just herself as her own company.

Y/N grabbed her book and for a moment, she observed those two.

They look really great together, she thought.

If it wasn’t a private beach, the media would’ve had a field day. An international heartthrob and a bombshell rising actress, tickling each other by the sea. Obviously, Y/N knew who Harry was. He was everywhere. Y/N could never deny just how talented and beautiful Harry was. In fact she was almost starstruck when she first saw him from afar today. Luckily, he didn’t notice.

She would be lying if she said a part of her wasn’t excited when Harry started talking to her. But after realizing how stiff their interaction went and how relaxed he was around Alessandra, Y/N knew she fit nowhere in this A-lister world.

She’s quite happy she got a chance to peek around this world for a couple of months until she found her own place in the city, and this would be that one summer she’s going to tell her grandchildren—that one summer I met Harry Styles by the beach with Alessandra Moore.

Which is why it was a surprise when Harry instead asked Y/N for a drink, when Alessandra was in the bathroom.

“Me?” Y/N asked, unsure.

Harry nodded. “How does Friday sound?”

“Are you sure?” Y/N was still confused.

Harry chuckled. “What’s wrong with a drink? It’ll be fun, love.”

Y/N timidly nodded. She couldn’t hide her blush and Harry could see it. He picked up his phone and gave it to her for her number.

“I’ll call you,” Harry said, right before Alessandra came back and sat between them.

Y/N smiled. She couldn’t stop smiling until the night of the date. She still couldn’t believe that it’s not even a week since she’d moved to the city, and she already got a date! At first, she didn’t even believe that she would make a single friend, let alone a date?

Harry did call her earlier that day, giving her the details on their date. Y/N paced around the room when she picked up the phone, but tried to hide it. She just hoped her excitement didn’t leak through the phone. She thought it would be a massive turnoff if Harry found out that she was that inexperienced in dating that she got overly excited over an invitation of drink.

“Hey, Y/N?” He paused. “If Alessandra asks, just tell her the truth, okay? Tell her you’re seeing me for a drink.”

“Yeah, of course…” Y/N agreed, although this request felt a little neither here nor there.

She brushed it off though. Perhaps Harry just didn’t want to make it weird, so it would be better to be honest upfront. After all, who knew? They might go for a second date, right?

Alessandra did ask why she dressed up and of course Y/N told her the truth. Alessandra’s smile fell for a second but she shook it off and went back to her bubbly self, wishing Y/N all the luck in the world.

When Y/N arrived at the venue of the date, she was shocked. She thought it would be a quiet restaurant, or a cafe… but it was a very packed nightclub. She walked through the people and found Harry in the VIP room, already wasted.

“You made it!” He yelled through the music.

“H-Hi…” she didn’t know what to respond.

She thought they would have a romantic dinner over a glass of wine, but it seemed that her idea of romance was deeply skewed by the films she’d watched. Maybe, this was what it really was. After all, Harry did ask her out for a drink. It made sense that he was already hammered beyond words.

“So, what would you like to drink?” Harry pulled out his phone and read through the menu.

She licked her lips. For a moment she thought if she ran away, he wouldn’t even notice. But just as she was ready to get up, he turned to her and moved closer to her.

Their faces were only inches apart, and he pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She didn’t kiss back and immediately turned away, face as read as a tomato.

“What’s wrong, love? Did you not like it?”

“No, it’s—“ she gulped. “It’s great, Harry. Thank you.”

Harry realized right there and then that Y/N had never been kissed before. He could tell.

“Hey, ‘m sorry,” he grabbed her hand.

“It’s okay,” she curved a smile.

A part of her was happy that she finally got her first kiss, but she knew she didn’t want it to happen this way. But she also didn’t want to look inexperienced or difficult. She wanted Harry to like her.

When the drinks that Harry ordered arrived, they started drinking and they talked. Harry asked how she got to know Alessandra. She told him that her mum used to work at Alessandra’s house as a gardener and she used to come over after school. Y/N could still remember the beautiful garden and colorful flowers. She could still remember everything.

Y/N was obviously too drunk to notice that their conversation would drive back to Alessandra. She would ask something about Harry—like what’s his favourite food—but he would avert the question and somehow redirect it to anything about Alessandra. And of course, Y/N would answer, she just wanted to keep the conversation going.

But the thing is, she didn’t know the answer to most of those questions. You see, she was never too close to Alessandra. Sure, she had known her for more than ten years, but to say they were childhood friends would be an exaggeration. How come, Harry would ask.

She told him how they never even went to the same school—Alessandra was private-schooled and she went to ordinary public school. She remembered staying for a maximum of three hours per day just to wait for her mum to finish pulling weeds as Alessandra and her mum sunbathe by the pool, in which during that time Y/N would do homework instead. They never talked. They didn’t really know each other. They were from different worlds. But one day, Alessandra’s mum found some ‘clubbing’ pills she didn’t know the name of in Alessandra’s backpack. In a moment of panic, Alessandra said it was Y/N’s and both Y/N and her mum were banned from the estate ever since. So the only reason she could stay at Alessandra’s place these two months, was because Alessandra owed her one.

I guess, she really did, Y/N thought to herself.

Harry never knew this side of Alessandra, and listening to Y/N, as he predicted, was some kind of window to Alessandra’s deeper world. He did feel bad for her, but as Y/N said herself, the past is in the past. Besides, they were both kids. Who wouldn’t do stupid things like that when they were kids, Harry mumbled. Y/N didn’t say anything to that, instead she just swayed along to the loud music. She felt like she could fly away after gulping her third Old Fashioned of the night.

It was already past midnight when Harry drove Y/N back to Alessandra’s place. He asked if it was okay for him to stay with her for the night, since he said he was too drunk to drive, to which Y/N said yes.

When they finally laid in bed, Harry pressed another kiss on her lips. She once again blushed and soon fell into a deep sleep, but Harry just laid there awake, staring at the ceiling.

His mind traced back to the day at the beach, when he chased Alessandra in the water and she started questioning him after seeing him talk to Y/N. What are you guys talking about? Do you think she’s cute? She’d ask, among other questions that Harry would’ve never thought would come out of her mouth. It was almost as if... she was jealous.

Alessandra had always seemed very secure with herself in Harry’s eyes. And Harry always felt like she got him wrapped around her fingers. Even when Harry started going out with other models or actresses, she never budged. As if she knew he would soon end up wanting her again. But this time, it’s different. Even his little interaction with Y/N toiled a slight reaction from Alessandra. That’s why he decided to ask Y/N for a drink—to get to know more about Alessandra.

When he woke up the next morning, Y/N was already gone. He read the sticky note by the bedside table.

‘Off to work. Suit yourself :) -Y/N’

He grunted, not at the note but at the throbbing pain in his head. He was limping his way out of Y/N’s bedroom when he saw Alessandra sit on the couch having her breakfast.

“Crazy night?” She asked, her tone quite straightforward and not as playful as usual.

Harry sat next to her, hand rubbing his temple. His disheveled look must’ve given Alessandra the impression that he and Y/N had a raunchy night, although that couldn’t be further from the truth. But Harry wanted exactly that for Alessandra to think.

“I didn’t know you took a liking to her,” she moved closer to him, still focused on the açai bowl in her hands.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. “She was fun. A sweetheart.”

“So, are you seeing her again?” she put away her açai bowl and turned to Harry, eyes never leaving his lips.

“Does that bother you, love?” Harry played along and moved closer to her too.

Alessandra rolled her eyes. She stood up and grabbed a glass of water, visibly annoyed by the whole thing.

Bingo, he thought quickly as if his hangover had suddenly dissipated. That reaction was all he needed to know exactly what he had to do.

Harry asked Y/N out again the next day, and the day after that, and soon it became daily. Y/N, of course, was getting excited with each date. She had reasons to believe that with this intensity Harry was truly interested in pursuing something with her.

They would get dinner somewhere or watch a movie or just sit by the park. And when they met, they would talk.

It was a bit strange for Y/N since Harry was still redirecting the conversations so that they would talk about Alessandra. He wanted to know what Alessandra was like when she was a kid, how she was with her parents, how she was like when she’s angry or when she’s sad—he wanted to know the Alessandra's childhood, the Alessandra that Y/N used to only stare from the garden and wished she could be her. It wasn’t the most comfortable subject but Y/N thought that perhaps because that was the only link that the two of them had, it would be easier to connect through talking about Alessandra. After all, she wanted to keep seeing Harry and if it meant narrowing their conversation subject to just Alessandra, she wouldn’t mind.

After meeting somewhere, they would always go back to Alessandra’s place, and for some reason Harry always stayed the night. Although, they had yet to do anything sexual. Sure, Harry would kiss her but he never made any further move. It was always just a peck, but it was enough for Y/N. It was more than she could ever dream of—laying in bed with the person that wanted to see her every single day. At first she was disappointed when she found that Harry was always gone in the morning, but she thought he needed to go to work and soon she got used to his weight leaving the bed in the middle of the night.

“Hey…” she trailed one night when they were in bed.

Harry mumbled a little "Hmm?"

“I know that Alessandra is the only mutual friend that we have but… is it okay if we talk about something else?” She sighed, already regretting what she said.

Harry turned to her, one arm supporting his head and the other playing with her hair. “Of course. What do you want to talk about?”

She shrugged. “I guess, I really want to know… you.”

Harry smiled and started telling her trivial stuff that he would also tell reporters when doing press for his film or album. Then he gave her a peck and went out of the room after she fell asleep to find Alessandra outside, night after night, sitting on the couch with her pouty face. It really is true what people say, you always want what you can’t have.

Initially, Harry and Alessandra would just tease each other—Alessandra would bombard him with questions on what he did with Y/N while trying to pretend like she didn’t care. But soon after a couple nights of this tension, Harry would grab her by her waist and place a long kiss on her lips. And God was it magical. It was everything that Harry had dreamed of.

Soon things would escalate as Harry had hoped for. Every night after he had his ‘date’, he would find Alessandra, burning with passionate jealousy, and they would kiss and eventually make love. Harry knew that it was jealousy that drove her to want him. But he didn’t care for her lips were so sweet and soft and their bodies tangled perfectly under the sheet, and he didn’t want to let go. And of course, the mornings that he got to spend naked in bed with Alessandra was even more magical. He would run his finger on every inch of her body from head to toe with and she would press her finger on his tattoos, tracing the shapes of each one of them.

Yet every night as he laid in Y/N’s bed, talking to her, he began to feel something strange. He felt more and more comfortable with her—something that he didn’t even expect in the first place.

He found that talking to Y/N was just so easy, he never realized that before. He never intended to open up to Y/N, but here he was, talking to her about his childhood. He told her how devastated he was when he found out that his stepfather had passed or how happy he was the other day because he finally cracked a song that he thought he would never finish.

Y/N always listened to him, she rarely said anything but she would stroke his hair gently and pressed a kiss on top of his head. There was something about her and Harry just didn’t know what it was yet. All he knew was he started to long for their midnight conversation. It made him feel peaceful.

And as he opened up more and more, he learned more about her too. How she always felt insecure since she was a kid, how she felt out of place in Alessandra’s house but she had no other choice because she needed to save money before renting a place, and how hard she’d worked for her dreams. Harry began to see how special she was, how different she was from the people that he’d met in his life.

She was always so understanding and loving towards him. One time she made him a little origami bird as a good luck charm because he said he felt uneasy for his upcoming meeting. Another time, she learned to cook black pudding because he mentioned that he missed his hometown. She was always there, any time of the day, any way Harry needed her. She always put him first.

And yet, he still couldn’t stop slipping away after Y/N fell asleep to find Alessandra and her jealous pout. Alessandra didn’t even try to hide it anymore and Harry found it extremely attractive. And the fact that she wanted him really made him feel good about himself.

Perhaps because he had always wanted her for years, or perhaps because they both found this love game to be very fun. They both knew it was the latter.

Y/N thought that she and Harry were starting to get somewhere. She understood that although they saw each other almost every day the past two months, Harry was still hesitant to get intimate with her. She felt that when she moved out to her own place, Harry would feel more relaxed. Perhaps, she would finally see him by her side when she woke up in the morning. Perhaps, she wouldn't have to feel his weight leaving her bed in the middle of the night again.

But as much as she told herself that this was real but, there was something inside her telling her to run away, as far as she could from Harry. She never understood how but she just had this feeling to move away. Everything was so perfect though, she thought. What could go wrong?

That night she woke up in the middle of the night after yet another date with Harry. He wasn’t there but it was not a surprise anymore. Harry always left… for work, she always told herself.

She wobbled her way out of bed to go to the bathroom, but when she stood by the door, she heard Harry and Alessandra’s voices. She knew she could just walk past them and head to the bathroom, but somehow she just couldn’t move. That something inside her told her to stay and wait.

“Is she good?” Alessandra asked.

“What do you mean, love?” Harry asked.

Y/N gulped. He sounded way flirtier than he ever was with her, but she tried to not think negatively.

“You know what I mean…”

Y/N could hear a pause and a little moan. She shut her eyes and shook her head, hoping that it wasn’t what she thought it was.

“Why are you like this?” Harry asked playfully. “You were never like this when I dated those models…”

“Yeah, because I know we’re on the same level,” she giggled. “I mean, she is practically… a nobody. How could you even be attracted to her more than me? It’s driving me crazy.”

“If ‘m ever attracted to her, why am I here with you now, love?”

Y/N choked. For a moment she couldn’t feel her limbs. There was a loud ringing noise in her ears, as if her brain had decided to shut off the whole noise to protect her heart.

She took a deep breath and counted to three before slowly opening the door. She just wanted to… see.

She didn’t realize tears that already rolled down her face when she peeked through the small opening, the sight that made her so sick she could barely stand. There, on the couch, Alessandra was full on straddling Harry. Laughter and moans mixed in the air and Y/N was just there, staring and not even able to comprehend what was going on.

One moment Harry was so eager to see her. Every single day he would ask to meet her. Every single day he would lay in bed, and tell her his deepest desires. And yet here he was, hands roaming Alessandra’s body. Y/N couldn’t wrap her mind around it.

Was it all just a game? Did he ever really like her? Did he just use her to make Alessandra jealous?

He did, didn't he? The voice in her head just grew louder. No wonder he never touched you, no wonder he always left in the middle of the night, no wonder he never cared as much as you did.

Suddenly, Harry’s eyes moved towards Y/N’s direction. His eyes were wide open when he locked eyes with Y/N’s.

He almost jumped as he ran towards Y/N but Y/N was quick to close the door and lock it.

Y/N walked to the bed and laid there, eyes locked on the ceiling as the sound of Harry’s loud banging on the door and Alessandra’s repeated ‘Harry, what’s wrong?’ filled the air.

Y/N didn’t even cry anymore, she just laid there, looking at one single imaginary dot in the ceiling. Maybe if she concentrated enough, she would be able to turn back the time and said no to Harry in the first place. Or maybe if she concentrated enough, she would be beautiful and attractive that Harry would want her just as much as he wanted Alessandra.

“Why do you care anyway? I thought it was part of the game,” Alessandra said after Harry stopped banging on the door.

He looked at Alessandra, eyebrows furrowed in disbelief of what she just said, “Game? Alessandra, that’s your friend…”

Alessandra looked at him in shock. “Are you kidding me? Harry, you started this.”

Harry knew she was right. Even when he never planned it, he knew that he had been using Y/N. The game that he was playing was out of line and hurtful. Deep down he knew it was, yet he didn’t want to stop. He was so caught up with the thought of having Alessandra that he forgot about Y/N and how far he had led her on.

But more than that, the sight of Y/N peeking through the door with tears down her face, not even saying anything to stop him, just broke his heart. He knew it took so much out of her to admit to him about her insecurities, and to witness the person that she grew to trust betray her… Harry pressed his hands to his forehead, regrets and shame filled his mind.

After that, he went on autopilot. He could hear Alessandra’s voice kicking him out but he didn't even bother to respond so he just left.

Now that Y/N had learned the truth, he couldn’t seem to care about Alessandra anymore. He just wanted to talk to Y/N again. He wanted to apologize to her. He wanted to see her.

He still couldn’t believe himself. He had stolen her first kiss when he was drunk, and her first trust, yet he had the nerves to continue his game just to get Alessandra. Come to think of it, he couldn’t even remember other qualities other than physicality that he found attractive from Alessandra. They never talked about anything, all they did was just flirt and mess around and make each other jealous. It really was just a game. How did he even want her in the first place?

Y/N was so kind and gentle with him, she listened to him. She cared for him. He gritted his teeth knowing he fucked up big time.

After shower, Harry rushed to Alessandra’s. He needed to talk to Y/N.

When Harry arrived, Alessandra was there. She was back to her bubbly self. She said something about waiting for Harry’s apology but Harry only shook his head in disbelief. Apology for what? For stopping our fucked up sex? He grunted.

Alessandra opened her mouth in disbelief as Harry barged in the house and went to Y/N’s bedroom. He rushingly opened the door.

Unlocked. Great, he was relieved.

But then, he walked into the room to see it empty, as if no one was ever there in the first place. He paced around the room, looking for a trace of Y/N but nothing was there. Nothing at all.

It’s as if Y/N had purposefully erased herself from Alessandra’s house… and Harry’s life. Alessandra looked inside as well only to have just realized the same thing.

As Harry ran to his car, he kept on dialing Y/N’s number but the only message that he got was the fact that the number was no longer active.

Harry didn’t know what else to do. He started driving, to where he didn’t know. But he had to keep searching because he just wanted Y/N back in his world.

#harry styles angst #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shot #tinayoufatlarrdd

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