tomatology

[tomatology]

Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.

#bro are we... doomed by the narrative?

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two bros, both alike in sexuality

in a hot tub, where we lay our scene

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#she snatched it clean outta the air

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When a tgirl can’t come out call that male fraud

#and SEND TWEET #this is such a dumb joke #I had to exorcise this from my brain so sorry #shut up oli

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Siblings or dating?

#their relationship is purely carnal #when they kiss their moustaches interlock #monopoly man #pringles man #shut up oli

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1910s guy who calls including left-handed characters in stories forced diversity

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A fruit fly is a little messenger of god born to fly into your mouth and deliver 1 calory to you

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welcome back

Thanks it’s like I’ve woken up from a lovely dream away from this place

#jk it’s good to be back #I didn’t really leave my phone just offloaded the app #oli talks

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10/10 would date based on your blog alone

Commiserations on your taste, so sorry about that

#having the audacity to make me BLUSH #oli talks #again I just redownloaded this app I have idea how old these asks are

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Thor is one letter away from THOT

This has burned a hole in my inbox and my brain thanks

#woody #I have no idea how long ago you sent me this #oli talks

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Ah, the frigatebird… nature’s whoopee cushion

What do you think is the most punchable bird? Physically I think an emperor penguin probably.. they’re built like punching bags y’know.. ? In terms of attitude I think any ratite could take a punch apart from a kiwi (it would just crumple)

The optics of delivering a killer right hook to an ostrich are fucking brilliant

#you’re so right turkeys have similar attitude problems to most ratites #please know I’m also excluding cassowaries from that list bc I don’t have a deathwish #yeah this is a joke I’m joking I would never harm an animal #oli talks

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The transition from child to adulthood is marked by no longer being able to eat an entire bar of chocolate in one siting, but easily eating an entire loaf of bread

#i redownloaded tumblr to make this post bc I’m RIGHT #*slaps tummy* I can fit so much bread in this bad boy #shut up oli

[tomatology]

seriously wondering if we can call the uk a democracy anymore. we have a prime minister that less than 0.3% of the population voted for, we have a new king that we have no say on, people are getting arrested for protesting against the monarchy under the excuse of ‘offending someone’ and we are effectively having a day of mourning forced upon us for the funeral with important hospital appointments cancelled and people even getting kicked out of holiday lettings for the day. this reads like a dystopian world where a dictator has died, not something happening now in a supposed democratic country

#uk politics #oUt 0f REsPeCt

[tomatology]

He just likes nature, ok?

#stranger things

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people are absolutely EVIL about the boundaries of “picky eaters”. no, they do not have to try it. yes, they can know they don’t like it without having eaten it before. no, they probably have not suddenly grown a taste for the food they’ve said they hate. no, they probably are not going to like it in the Special Way This One Place Cooks It. yes, you are being a bad friend if you try to “trick” them into eating it anyway

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