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I love that you added this info bc it’s even funnier knowing Al is such a proud carnivore and he apparently doesn’t brush his teeth so he still wouldn’t be able to compare it to anything but butter.

Has anyone copped the idea that Alastor’s attempts at flirting are mainly stating weird/creepy facts about the human body?

Alastor: “Darling, did you know that the human brain has not the substance of a sponge or gelatin, but the consistency of melting butter?”

You: “… Why can’t you ask for my number like a normal person?”

#Lmao

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Who else has read Anthology of Summoning and wants to discuss with me???

#Hazbin hotel #helluva boss #I’m waiting for Crimson Part 2 I need to know what happens fucks sake

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More Alastor in Love things:

• Pouts bc you won’t eat ppl with him

• He’s upset if you can’t dance but finds a strange, all-encompassing delight just spinning in a circle with you and/or letting you stand on his feet while he does most of the work (you figure out how he balances with you standing on his hooves bc I’m not gonna)

• Adores you using lingo from his time period — even if you do it incorrectly, and are embarrassed about it, he feels a swell of love for you

• “Static-ed” when you told him rather dreamily how much you love the vocal effect on his voice and wish you could listen to him read you the phone book

• Our deer will present bouquets to you while wearing specially-made gloves to avoid them dying — heart eyes when you say you’d love any flowers he gave you, even dead ones

• Taxidermy craft dates don’t @ me — it’s up to you if you prefer these to the hunting dates

• You get irritated or angry and threaten to kill someone (ofc you don’t actually mean it, it’s the heat of the moment) and Alastor fans himself/praises and encourages your viciousness

• Reads to you at bedtime and lets you cuddle him, he might even stay there and hold your hand in his own after you’ve fallen asleep

#hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #alastor hazbin hotel

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IM WRITING THE SNAKE-Y LUCIFER SMUT I SWEAR

#Just… sending an FYI #T-T writing takes time #Will delete

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The Blitzø/OC idea I’ve had for a little while:

It’s not fleshed out or anything but I like the idea of Blitzø falling for a human bc it’s canon that the imps find humans unattractive. And B is hypersexual so actually working off a relationship where he’s not into his intended initially and then develops an attraction later on is compelling to me.

I wish I could draw bc I just have this image in my head of Blitzø strolling along with a girl in a bright yellow sundress and just talking her ear off about horses whatever while she grins and laughs. Idk idk idk.

#blitzø x reader #helluva boss

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Has anyone copped the idea that Alastor’s attempts at flirting are mainly stating weird/creepy facts about the human body?

Alastor: “Darling, did you know that the human brain has not the substance of a sponge or gelatin, but the consistency of melting butter?”

You: “… Why can’t you ask for my number like a normal person?”

#hazbin hotel x reader #Hazbin hotel #Alastor #alastor x reader

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Alastor: “I could kill you if I wanted.”

Reader: “Yeah…? So could another human being. So could a dog. So could a dedicated duck. You aren’t special.”

#alastor x reader #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #indifferent reader is my fav #also Luci pops out when you mention a dedicated duck and Al’s eye twitches w pure frustration

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I need to complain about HB just a little more but it’s under the cut you’re welcome.

I hate how hard they try to make Stolas sympathetic and UwU — why tf can’t Viv just learn how to write character development and have him go from a depraved, spoiled royal prick to less of a depraved, spoiled royal prick bc he develops feelings for Blitzø over time??? Why do they have to make him a victim and shove it in our faces so fucking hard?

I would be neutral to “hey I could ship this” if they didn’t force this so hard that I’m choking on it. Christ.

BlitzFizz 5ever sorry Ozzie. At least those two were naturally sweet childhood friends that could’ve become more and I believed it. At least BlitzFizz has chemistry!!!

TBH I ship Blitzø with p much everyone BUT Stolas at this point I s2g.

#And I don’t hate Stolas #I like his design I like his voice/VA work #I like the idea of him being a good dad to his daughter #but omg enough trying to retcon and make him less of an asshole for this fucking ship pls for the love of GOD

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Alastor to Reader: “I love you. It’s ruining my life.”

#Shitpost #alastor x reader #ooc but the concept itself is glorious #Al is just ‘I’m in love and it’s excruciating’ #he asks himself if this or being shot to hell by a huntsman is worse #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #Forgive me ttpd really isn’t my bag outside of this song

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Oh Helluva Boss has a trailer for its next 5 episodes

*watches it*

More Stolitz sop… yayyyy

#😐 #It’s not a surprise it’s just confirmation of how boring HB is gonna remain #Octavia has a VO calling Stolas out and I’m just like #cool but the show is just gonna villainize her for calling Stolas out for being a shitty dad and husband #and then she’ll probably take it back bc it’s *not really her dad’s fault* yuck #If this makes you mad ignore me

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I never know how to say this without sounding condescending but when it comes to social media you can simply choose not to be around people who make you unhappy.

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How do we feel about Naga!Lucifer? This blog is for monsters, remember, so I’m into it but idk how many of you are.

#hazbin hotel x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar

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Sonofabitch I have a smut idea brb

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Do you want more flangst or more spice today? I’m in the mood to ramble.

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Reader gets super stressed from ruling Hell and Lucifer asks what he can do for her. She commands him to go full demon mode on her in bed:

“Use me like a stress toy and I’ll relax” essentially.

#lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #this has been brewing in my mind for a lil while

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So im going to open anon msging again in case its of interest

#I have no compunctions that I’m never gonna get hate again #but I miss talking to the nice ppl #forgive a girl her loneliness