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夏休みが終わったら by: もてぃま

**permission to upload this was given by the artist**

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in the labyrinth, the catipede will help you find your way

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My little Marimo （　´∀｀）☆

I actually got this a while ago and I coulda swore I posted.anyways meet Mochi (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

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グリズリーパンダ まどかマギカ　ルミナス

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more of the space cat thing idk

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maow

#my art #whatever

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I've always been fascinated by people who disappear. This is something I often strive for in miniscule ways. Quite often it does seem as though I am invisible to others. I'm fine with it, though. In fact, I enjoy it.

Abandoning everything that once made me feel comfortable and entering a different plane of existence away from people who once thought they knew you intrigues me. The hardest obstacle in doing so is the fact that people care about you more deeply than you are capable of knowing. The solution that I've come up with is to be an extremely terrible person. There's a large number of people that have given up the idea of me, and it was most likely easy for them to do so because they no longer cared about me. How can you possibly care for someone who has done or said something awful to you repeatedly?

I admit, hitting this breaking point for the other person can be challenging and emotionally exhausting. It requires a lot of planning and perseverance. It also definitely requires a level of sociopathy. Being sociopathic, I always find it interesting and almost amusing that no matter how many times you tell people that you aren't a good person and are not trustworthy, they still refuse to believe you and give you the benefit of the doubt. But after reaching their breaking point with you, they are always in the utmost shock to find out that you are seriously a terrible person.

I almost always give a warning to people if I find that they are starting to deal with me on a regular basis. I show early warning signs. I try to do them this favor. Except nobody really listens, until it is too late and feelings are hurt. It would be a lot easier if people would listen to my warning and back off before they find themselves deeper into this mess.

People get so offended, and I suppose I can understand why. They are perfectly entitled to their opinions, and really it hardly matters to me because once I have reached the breaking point of the individual, I probably won't ever speak with them again. They always give you this strange speech before they go, about you having a lot of problems and often mentioning that you will most likely regret your behavior in the future. I've been at this since childhood and have yet to feel a string of remorse for any case. From my point of view, they were the ones that refused to listen to the warnings given and so just up and walked from the frying pan into the fire.

I'm not really into having friends or anything. Honestly, it's just emotionally exhausting to keep up with friends. For the most part, it's just me agreeing with whatever they are saying. It feels so one-sided, but since I really have no argument against what people say due to apathy, there hardly ever results in a long, meaningful conversation. This whole life just feels like one big blur. It feels like everyone I meet is stuck inside this strange bubble, and I am outside looking in. I observe people and their behavior and study it to no end, but I cannot relate to any of it. I feel no connection to anyone. It's all just a farce. And so I become apathetic and bored and find myself playing mind games with everyone that is naiive enough to trust me in the slightest.

And I'll probably continue this behavioral pattern for a long time. And I really genuinely do not care lol.

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The bed of four seasons-Spring.

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