velociraptor-longing-for-muffin

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

@b00ksmart-d3vil what are you doing to my tumble feed‽‽ there’s so much Hannibal now! I didn’t ask for this!

#help

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

Holy shit this is so cute

Unown Pokemon Key Caps made by RoyalKeycaps

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

This is such a good habit to have

I am a chronic turn signaller. People will be like “there’s no cars around.” Wrong, I’m

1. letting pedestrians know.

2. I’m doing this in case I missed a car or person somewhere, or

2b. I’m gonna be stuck at this intersection til a car or person shows up

3. It makes it a habit

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

BLEOWWWWWWWW

ⓘ This user will meow at you!

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

If you're not from Argentina, please read this carefully

I have no words to describe the pain I feel. after 40 years of democracy, my country elected a party whose only goal is to be a colony once again, to sell the country to Elon Musk, to the USA and the UK, to have our sovereignty impugned and erased.

I remember the video of USAmerican congressists calling Argentina an "important asset for the United States". I remember when we told all of you to be vigilant because this was gonna turn into a genocide.

Tomorrow, the Mega DNU (Decree of Necessity and Urgency) is going to overrule most of our constitutional rights, and yesterday the Omnibus Law was presented to congress, including measures that make it illegal to gather in public without permission (state of siege), and make it so that protest is a crime. We will have to pay for the bullets that kill us, and cops will have absolute legal immunity to hunt us.

Word for word, a dictatorship. Fascism.

We've already gone through this many times, but I want to see worldwide protests about this. I want the UN to intervene. I want the world to make noise.

What worries me is this is not an isolated case. With many genocides going on worldwide, if the world fails Argentina, this will be the blueprint for all of the world.

Make no mistake, what happens here will happen everywhere there's natural resources and sovereignty. If not through overt genocide, through an extremely libertarian far right that wins elections by manipulating people, funded by Elon Musk. A second Operation Cóndor.

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

Today me and my boyfriend got looked at weirdly in a cafe cause he said “why are you humping your hand? That’s so weird!”

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

I think it could be fun to just post reviews of various albums and other things like shows and stuff in here. Hm..

Or I can keep saying random silly things >:3

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

Meow I haven’t posted on here since I went to college. Um….hi?

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

…..when the subreddit r/insex actually happens to you

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

This fic is legitimately good, the characters feel right and I can hear their voices when I read it. Great job so far, @notapossum !

Itty Bitty Imps chapter 1:

Summary:

Classification AU:

Blitzø didn’t have a great childhood, he had to grow up really fast and take on a lot of responsibility to help his family. And now he’s a successful assassin, a badass.

Fizzarolli’s always been an icon, always had to be perfect, had to be funny, had to entertain…otherwise he was a failure. He made a lot of sacrifices to achieve this level of perfection.

Is it any wonder they cheated on their classification test? What would people think if they knew what they really were?

Notes:

⚠️ READ ME! ⚠️

This work is an Age regression /Classification fic. So there will be things such as Diapers and their usage, pacifiers, cribs, bottles, exc.

But there will also be cursing and talking about sex when characters are out of headspace, and it also mentions some trauma. (Any future trigger warnings will be added to chapter notes if needed.)

Age regression itself is not sexual, it’s a coping mechanism.

If you have a problem with any of this, you can click away.

-

-

chapter 1: Blitzø’s secret

Blitzo:

“I’m just saying, the classification thing is kinda pointless, it has never benefitted anyone.” Loona says.

“What about littles? They can’t take care of themselves.” Millie argues.

These two have been debating this since they got back from a mission. Blitzø had no idea what started it, but he was curious to hear their opinions on the matter.

“Who says they can’t? Most of them aren’t even like that eighty precent of the time, In fact, some of them are adopted by assholes who force them to be little all the time.” Loona argues.

“That’s actually true.” Moxxie says. “I wouldn’t say it benefits no one, but it doesn’t really define who you really are or what you’re good at. I mean, I was classified a babysitter initially. As you can see that absolutely determined my future.” Moxxie says sarcastically.

“Well, I don’t know, Mox. You certainly are good at stopping anything fun from happening.” Blitzø says.

Moxxie growls at him while loona laughed.

“Well, I was classified a guardian with caregiver tendencies.” Millie says. “I’d say that suits me pretty well.”

“Well, yeah. But I was labeled a caregiver.” Loona explains, which surprised M&M. “Yeah, exactly my point. The stupid center made me re-take it over a hundred times.”

“I don’t blame them. I’ve seen you kick a baby.” Moxxie says.

“What was your classification, Blitzø?” Millie asks.

“Oh, I’m a Neutral.” Blitzø answers softly.

“There’s no way that’s true.” Moxxie says.

Blitzø raises an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s just- that’s too normal for you!” Moxxie explains.

“As hard as it is to believe, it’s true.” Blitzø says. “I can give you the stupid papers to prove it.”

Millie looked over Blitzø suspiciously. “You cheated on the test, didn’t you?”

“Oh please, why does everyone always assume that?” He asks. “It’s not like i could’ve just found someone selling the answers outside the building or some shit, even if I wanted to. I wasn’t exactly mr popular, so I didn’t have a lot of connections.” Blitzø explains.

Past, Blitzo:

“Why are you guys so worked up about this? It’s a fucking personality test. There’s no right or wrong.” Barbie, his twin sister explains as they’re walking to the classification center. It was finally time for them to find out what kind of freaks they really were. 

Blitzo scoffs. “Yeah, sure, just a personality test unless you’re classified a caregiver and people think you’re ‘too soft’ for jobs that make you any kind of actual money.”

“I don’t think YOU will have to worry about that.” Barbie says, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, and no one will hire you if you’re classified a little.” Fizzarolli explains. “You’d have to be adopted…and if you’re like Blitzo, you just wouldn’t get adopted at all-“

Blitzo punches his boyfriends arm.

“Hey!” Fizz shouts, rubbing his arm. “I meant IF you were a little.”

“Bitch.” Blitzo calls him.

“Is that any way to talk to your boyfriend?” Fizzarolli asks.

“Yes actually.” Blitzo says. “It’s the best way to talk to my boyfriend.”

“Even when he has…this?” Fizzarolli asks, holding up a piece of paper.

“Oh…paper.” Barbie hesitates. “Cool?”

“It’s all neutral test answers.” Fizzarolli explains. “I copied them on my arm so I can pass the test with no complications.”

“Wow, that’s impressive. I was just going to copy all her answers.” Blitzo says, pointing to Barbie.

“You what?!” Barbie asks.

“Why would it matter? We’re twins. No one would question it.” Blitzo says.

“Listen. We share everything! At least let me keep my own personality.” Barbie says.

“You don’t want her answers anyway, Blitzo.” Fizzarolli says. He looks to Barbie. “You know, you can use them too if you want, barbecue.” Fizzarolli says.

“It’s okay, I’m not really worried about it, I’ll probably be neutral anyway.” Barbie says.

“Yeah, cuz you’re so basic.” Blitzo says. Barbie punches his arm. “Ow!”

Fizzarolli laughs.

“Prick.” Barbie calls her brother.

“Where did you get these anyway?” Blitzo asks, ignoring his sister.

Fizz shrugs. “I know a guy, had to fuck him to get it though.” He answers.

Blitzo takes the paper and reads over the answers, not reacting to what Fizzarolli just said at all.

Barbie didn’t either, just kept walking.

Fizzarolli waits a few seconds… “Oh my god, Blitzo! I didn’t actually fuck him, I paid him! With money!” He explains.

“To be honest, I wouldn’t blame you if you did fuck him.” Blitzo shrugs.

“Well, it wouldn’t kill you to be a little jealous, I can fuck other people, you know?” Fizzarolli pouts, arms crossed.

Blitzo takes Fizzarolli’s face in his hands. “Oh, I know you can, but everyone knows you’re obsessed with me.” He says seductively.

“In your wet dreams, bitch.” Fizzarolli and Blitzo kiss deeply, Blitzo sticking his tongue down the jester’s throat.

“Geez, Come on, fuckbirds. We’ll be late.” Barbie says, rolling her eyes.

Fizzarolli and Blitzo agree. And the three of them head inside the building.

“Alright, here goes nothing.” Barbie says.

“Good luck, sis!” Blitzo says.

Barbie nods. “You too, don’t get caught.” She mumbles violently at him.

Fizzarolli whispers. “At least change two or three answers, even if you get five present of something else, no one will really care in the future, we can’t make it too suspicious.”

Blitzo nods and gives his boyfriend a thumbs up before following Barbie to the testing area.

Present, Blitzø:

Moxxie checks the time. “Oh wow, we should really get going if we’re going to make dinner.” Moxxie says to Millie.

“Where you two going?” Blitzø asks.

“It’s called none of your business.” Moxxie says angrily.

Millie rolls her eyes.

“Wow, okay. Hint taken.” Blitzø rolls his eyes.

“Is it?!” Moxxie asks. “You’re not so good at taking hints.”

“Come on, sweetie. Let’s just go. See you later, boss.” Millie says as she and Moxxie walk out.

“Well, guess it’s just us then.” Blitzø says to Loona.

“Yeah, sorry. Actually, I have to go too, Tex invited me to a party tonight.” Loona says.

“Oh.”

“Don’t follow me.” Loona warns. “I’ll See you later, don’t wait up.” Loona walks out, closing the door behind her.

That was fine…Blitzø wanted to be alone anyway.

What was moxxie’s fucking problem anyway? He defended their relationship at Ozzie’s. If anything, they should be grateful that he followed them!

‘Hey, everybody! This guy's a total disgrace!Some nerve you got to comment on a relationshipLast I checked, your love life is a pile of shit!‘

Like Fizzarolli was one to talk, when was the last time he was in a real relationship?

Blitzø drove himself home.

Maybe it’s not such a bad thing that literally everyone he hangs out with is busy.

Blitzø goes into his closet to get out a box full of his little gear: Pacifiers, Diapers, toys, exc.

He could indulge his little self for a while.

#helluva boss #age regression fanfic #helluva boss fanfic #helluva boss fanfiction #little!blitzo #little!fizzerolli

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

HAH! Take that Stockfisch!

#chess #stockfish #im so cool

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

Ah okay!

Five songs I actually listen to:

1. Drastic Actions — Bad Religion

2. Origin of Love — Hedwig and the Angry Inch

3. Honeybee — Steam Powered Giraffe

4. Supermassive Black Hole— Muse

5. Analyze — Thom Yorke

@soviet-space-ace tagged me in a challenge so here it is. didn’t want to have all of the reblogs here because the original post was relatively long.

five songs I actually listen to:

a wolf at the door — radiohead

i want the one i can’t have — the smiths

people ii: the reckoning — ajj

source decay — the mountain goats

pictures of you — the cure

nominating @velociraptor-longing-for-muffin

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

@leastparanoidandroid

romanticizing your life is such a powerful tool and it’s a shame that it’s mostly used by people on tiktok to justify the purchase of expensive breakfast smoothies when there are few better ways to force oneself through unpleasant shit than imagining a cinematic backstory for your extremely quotidian suffering

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

*laughs in aspiring translator*

When people ask me why they should pay a human translator instead of using google translate I show them this picture:

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

CHEESE PUFFS YAYYYYYY’N

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

AHHHHHH IM IN SCREENPLAY HELLLLL

#i hate honors classes #screenplay

[velociraptor-longing-for-muffin]

Hehehehehehe I get to go to choir with pretty boy today!!