Tumgik
venting402 · 2 days
Text
I was in therapy for one of my classes and during my last session my counselor said I was doing great at managing my anxiety :)
honestly taking the step to say some thing was wrong was nerve wracking but it was a necessary leap I had to take and I found some helpful advice from researching it
0 notes
venting402 · 2 days
Text
WIP Wednesday
I haven't done this in a while and my goal is to finish Part 2 of Reach for the Moon by the end of this month. Hoping this will keep me accountable and motivated!
Tagging (just so you can read, you don't have to participate if you don't want to): @soft-girl-musings @writefightandflightclub @musing-magpie @venting402 @marc-spectorr
Pairing: (Platonic) Steven Grant x Southeast Asian Fem!Reader, (Unrequited) Marc Spector x Southeast Asian Fem!Reader, (Slow Burn, Romantic) Jake Lockley x Southeast Asian Fem!Reader
Tumblr media
“I don’t think I’ve seen this set before,” Steven mused as you placed the kettle back onto the stove. “When did you get this?”
Heat licked at your cheeks, your heart pounding as you looked down at the cup. The warmth of the tea burned your fingers slightly as you held the teacup in your hands, and if you pulled away, you wondered if the flowers burned onto your skin like a brand that would never heal.
“Marc got it for me for my birthday before I went to Singapore,” you answered quietly, your voice low. “I don’t remember where he got it, but he said he knew someone who knew where to find tea sets.”
A dull ache grew in the depths of your chest as you remembered your last birthday before you left for Singapore. Your parents took you out of town to celebrate the Friday before your birthday, and that weekend, your mother cooked your favorite noodles (“for long life,” she would always say) and your father commissioned one of his coworkers to bake a special cake for you. You celebrated one day with your family, and another with your old childhood and college friends. It was a wonderful sendoff before your departure, but you could not help but feel nostalgic at the memory. 
One day, you lamented to Marc how much you wanted a matching tea set. A few times you traveled with your parents as a teenager to Singapore where you admired your aunt’s tea sets that she displayed in their china cabinet. You remembered how much your mother pestered your father to buy any matching dinnerware whenever there was a sale at her favorite department store, especially when there were tea sets. While your family did not have much when they immigrated to the United States, your mother would tell you that her parents collected china and other sets as family heirlooms. She wished she could have taken it with her to New York, and you wanted to help her create a collection here. 
A few days before your birthday, Marc dropped by your place with a gift box wrapped beautifully with a blue bow on top. Your parents were in the kitchen eavesdropping as you opened the gift on the living room floor with Marc at your side. 
“Marc, it’s beautiful,” you told him. You held the ceramic delicately in your hands, sighing in awe as you turned it over. The blue floral design was nostalgic and intricate. “They look just like the ones that my aunt and uncle have back home.”
He smiled gently at you, his arms warm as you hugged him. “I’m glad you liked it. Happy birthday, kid.”
14 notes · View notes
venting402 · 2 days
Text
this reminds me of the post of the woman’s husband who pays her to show love whereas she’s verbal about saying she loves him 😭
WHAT DO YOU MEAN- sorry, what do you meeean Simon literally cannot utter the words I love you?
I mean, yeah he can. But it felt empty.
So he normally did it through actions, helping you carry things, morning coffee, buying a dvd version of that movie you liked to have backup ‘just in case’
He shows it through touches, kisses on the nape of the neck on sleepy mornings, trapping you like a oversized dog in your own bed (didn’t hear that from me)
“You’re late.”
“Im so sorry sir, my dog-“
“I thought you were allergic?”
He likes this. He thought it was right. He never thought that you needed to hear the words.
“Do you love me?”
Screaming silence all expect for the car radio that hummed through the air, your eyes glassy and mascara threatening to run.
“Simon, please-“
“I…give me a minute.”
He tried to pretend he didn’t hear you muffle back a cry- it was stupid, you had both gone to Kyle’s engagement party and the couple had been showering each other with compliments and ‘I love yous ‘ as if they weren’t the most sacred saying. It got to you.
“I…started using that scar ointment ya got me, to-to help ‘em fade, still stinks though. I, um, I wash my clothes with the lavender scent things you like because I like the way you smell- it-it makes me feel like I’m home- I…fuck- okay, I wake up a lil later when you’re over because you like cuddling and I would rather be with you than outside in the rain- I try to make sure your favorite creamer is always full in the fridge so ya don’t wanna leave me in the mornin to get coffee an there-there is no one I would rather be with and I’m sorry I can-Im sorry that im the way that I am and I’m sorry in not good enough-“
“Simon.” You cut him off, the red light he had stopped at green by now but it was so late in the night no one was there, tears streaked your face and his eyes were wide as a deers, “I love you too.”
(Anyway….thats all! <33)
4K notes · View notes
venting402 · 3 days
Text
you ever get surprised by your own recurring issues. like come on man. I thought we were past this.
48K notes · View notes
venting402 · 5 days
Text
58K notes · View notes
venting402 · 6 days
Text
32K notes · View notes
venting402 · 8 days
Text
Gonna re reblog this during finals but still gonna spread the luck
so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
1M notes · View notes
venting402 · 11 days
Text
mercenary!ghost x fem!reader masterlist all contain nsfw (18+) or at least suggestive content. please read cw before engaging. this collection of pieces is considered dark and includes dark themes and content. continue reading at your own risk.
notes about reader: reader described as curvy -> as always, the reader is a character herself, but i’ve tried my best to give little to no physical description and no native country of origin
a collection of stories about ex-lieutenant simon "ghost" riley and the pretty little thing he traps in his cage.
Tumblr media
not a meet-cute -> a ghost finds a little bunny to take home
red to black -> whatever poisons him is contagious
what's mine is yours -> aren't we something?
notes about this collection: this isn't meant to be a happy story or a happy ending, and ghost isn't portrayed as a good person. it's about two people who are crazy (to a fault) about one another, and the weight of a trauma that never leaves. this collection criticizes military service and mentions murder + violence. please read at your own discretion and do not continue if any of this would be triggering for you. (although i am not responsible for what you do on the internet and this is your final warning).
Tumblr media
if you would like to know when i post something new, please turn on notifications for @bi-has-written.
no taglist. it updates when i get thoughts, which lately has been frequent.
back to complete masterlist
368 notes · View notes
venting402 · 12 days
Text
Tumblr media
87K notes · View notes
venting402 · 17 days
Text
netizens are desensitising gruesome things that are taking place in Palestine.
even the internet’s reaction to graphic things such as - pictures of injured children, civilians stuck under rubble, dead bodies of families in their destroyed homes etc. is beyond underwhelming.
DO NOT NORMALISE GENOCIDE.
BREAK THE STIGMA.
#save palestine
Tumblr media
29K notes · View notes
venting402 · 17 days
Note
okay it has been the longest time since I've asked for a request but I freaking LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE!! So I have a Simon riley request. You can really run off with my idea and write it however you want but Ive had an idea in my head about Simon and the reader adopting because reader or Simon can't have kids and I want to know how he'd handle a kid who's probably been thru some stuff to end up in the foster/adopting system.
ANYWAYS ILYSM keep up your amazing work 😍😍
(no cause I actually screamed omg thank you so much for your kind words they truly mean the world to me <333 )
Adoption! Simon Riley Who had zero doubt on that he wanted children with you, even though he was terrified of failing them he wanted to try
Simon Riley! Who took you to all of the doctors appointments and the testing and the trails and never once mentioned how expensive it is
Simon Riley who was probably the only person a bit more crushed than you when the doctor told you both that it wouldn't be possible to have children of your own.
Simon Riley who let the matter go under the radar for a few months before you walk into the bedroom, tablet to chest
"i'm gonna say something and I need you to be open to it."
He blinks a few times as he sets his book down on his lap, "Should I be scared?"
"No. But..." You hold out the tablet, showing him the adoption application you had half filled out, "I mean there's thousands of kids who-who need a family an-and-"
"Finish it up, why don't ya- lemme get the bank statements, yeah?"
Simon Riley! who would rather go back on deployment than have more people walk through his home while making judgments on if it was 'child friendly'
Simon Riley! Who sat up with you every time you were waiting for an update, watching easy going bake shows on the sofa with the laptop email service open on the coffee table in front of you
Simon Riley! Who was a little bit disgusted when the agent sat you both down with the files of children in need, because he did have half a mind to just take them all
"Now I know you both told me you were looking for a baby, and I understand that however the waitlist for that is incredibly long and ultimately it is the mother's choice in that situation," The agent's eyes go to Simon, almost as if to say 'no mother would ever choose that' and she pushes the file to you, "And I always push for the adoption of some of the older kids. There's no pressure."
Your eyes narrow to the folders in front of you and you gulp down, hands shakily going to the folder in front of you and pulling it to your lap, all the while you could tell Simon was just still a little confused by the statement the agent had made before. However, you humored it, flipping through the photos and the tragic backstories that made your eyes water, until you open one that caught your attention, two children sat in the photoinsteadd of one.
Name: Macey-Ann Adams
Age: 11 years
Name: Taylor Kate Adams
Age: 24 months
"Si..." You didn't tell that your voice was muffled by a bit of tears and you hold the file over to your husband, who looked over the pictures, taking you slight interest. So he lightly takes the file and then looks up at the agent.
"These two?" He speaks as softly as he was able to.
The agent looks at the file and then a frown appears on her face, "Macey, she...she's a troubled girl, on her fourth foster home, and she's jumping schools, I would not recommend her."
with a shuttered breath you breath out, "But...but she's just a kid- can...can we meet her and Taylor?"
Simon Riley did extensive research as soon as he got home, finding the articles from the local newspaper on the two girls who were so severely abused by their father that they wouldn't look the police officer in the eye
Simon Riley who was beginning to think it wouldn't be a good idea until they met the girls at the local park
Simon Riley who saw so much of himself in that little girl it made him almost puke
Simon Riley who got over himself when he saw your beaming face as you held Taylor, helping her get the cherry blossom from the tree
Simon Riley who would be lying if he said he wasn't estatic when you were approved for the adoption
Simon Riley who tried to get to know Macey but the girl was quiet, self suffiecnt, she was him
"You're taking Taylor." Macey mutters as she sits on the swing, watching you with her baby sister
Simon squints against the sun and sits down in the swing beside her, and then he looks to you, a smile on his lips for a moment, "Not jus' her."
To that the eleven year old looks at him, a frown on her face, "What? People want babies. Taylor is a baby."
There was a long silence and Simon looked down at his boots, "You like trampolines?"
Macey blinked, "I do."
"Gonna buy you a trampoline for the backyard when the court says it's all over."
Another pause, "You're taking both of us?"
"Figured you'd wanna stay with your lil' sis."
"I-kinda....thanks, Mister Riley."
"Simon. You can call me Simon, or...whatever you wan, and' we gotta get a move on your sister was wan'n a ice cream."
Simon Riley! Who takes careful care in helping Macey unpack
Simon Riley! Who takes the girls shopping every weekend until he thinks they have everything they need
Simon Riley! Who loves his girls more than anything else in the world
( I hope this is good and honestly this is so cute I may write a more in-depth one shot type of thing. Comments and feedback make my day! annnd yeah! that's it <33
345 notes · View notes
venting402 · 17 days
Note
imma request more bc that adoption one actually sent me to the heavens and back..
so i have a similar idea that i wanna throw out there but have it be Dad!simon riley and foster/adopted!reader. Have like, their interactions when reader has to first meet simon, and simon is able to bond with reader bc hes traumatized too
it can be like a headcannon style or a one shot, whatever idea striked you.
like actually can i be you? like you write SO GOOD so QUICKLY my writers block could NEVER
(I'm actually a Tomato right now I'm blushing so much in my school library what- thank you so much!! your words will live rent-free in my head for the next seven to eight weeks ngl
Ahem ahem I have a new thingy- Adoptive dad Simon! lil blurb (700-1000 words i think) & foster!care reader (i don't think I used gendered pronouns but if I did please remind me)
For the record, you never thought yourself to be a problematic child, sure you were a little unruly and you lived by your own rules but to be honest any person in your situation would be the same. A child whose childhood was ripped from you the second your father grabbed a beer bottle and the rest you preferred to keep locked away under a lock with a key you kept away. So you sat in your social workers office for what you thought was the billionth time in the month, hands mindlessly fiddling with your hoodie string and eyes staring out the window.
Birds. You always wondered what it would be like to be a bird, it must be nice, to be free like one at least- no matter how cliche the thought you enjoyed it.
Only for it to be ripped from you as you hear your named hissed from the workers, Margi's, mouth. With a grumble you turn to look at her from across the oak table, trinkets from her perfect life adorning it, and her perfect little family in a golden frame, staring at you- made you sick.
"Seventh school, seventh! Are you trying to have to move counties again?" She snipped at you, her voice dull as she typed something into her computer.
"Maybe I am."
Margi gives you a look, a frown written across her face, "What does that mean?"
"The Wilsons, Adams, Johnsons, Kievs, they all suck and they were mean."
"They were mean?" She mocked your voice and then scooted her chair to face you fully, "I'm trying here, kid, I'm trying. But you-" she shuttered a laugh as if she just found your mere presence unbearable, "You make it so hard, you're goin to Douglas county."
A look is etched across your face as you take in the news, Douglas was forty miles away, so the news was a bit shocking. "Wha-"
"There is a single man-"
"No."
"Yes. You'll sleep here and he's picking you up in the morning."
--
It was stupid, Price had told him he needed to find purpose in his life and that fostering might fulfill that- well...he didn't realize his captain meant dogs and cats and somehow he had passed to be a foster parent. For reasons that are beyond him. So there he was, four foster kids deep- all adopted within two or so months and then going to their new homes. He wouldn't lie, he didn't like any of them but he was sure to be as kind as possible, as...open as he could (which is close to none) but according to the children he did a great job.
Somehow.
There was a new one, problematic from the file, a story reading a bit too close to his own that he almost didn't want to take it up for the sake of his own mental clarity. However, it was urgent, and there was a need and the solider in him urged him to go on and fulfill it. So that is why he was now standing in the police station at six in the morning an hour away from his home.
A brief conversation with the social worker and a few police officers that had encounters with you, all warning him with the banter of your antics and that if he had any common sense he'd 'slap some sense into you' All of that he just responded with a glare and changing the topic.
Then they brought you out your lively hood packed into a small and tattered black and blue duffle bag and clothes a bit worse for wear, looking exhausted upon all of that. Simon made eye contact with you for a moment, it almost seemed like a stare-down- until the social worker cut in-between you both.
She motions to you as she introduces you to him and she then motions to him, trying to take your bag to hand to him but you had an iron grip, "Mister Riley-"
"Simon." He interjected, giving the worker a look, "Call me Simon."
You bite back a smile at how flustered Margi became by his correction and after a few more warnings of how you like to run away and skip school and everything you had a tendency to do you sit on the bench in the building. A good forty or so minutes passed and you wouldn't lie you were hungry so as soon as 'Simon' came over you chirpped up, following as he had motioned for you to do.
"Could we get some food?"
Simon stayed quiet until you reached the truck, letting you put your duffle bag into the back and then stopping you from getting in the front, checking your height against his chest and then with a breif motion of the hand told you to sit in the back.
Alright. You thought, not a big talker.
"Diner okay?"
"There's a good one down the street-"
Simon hums and grabs his phone from his pocket as he buckles up, holding it back for you to take, "Put it in the gps, yeah?"
A faltering silence as you stared at the phone, which was new, normally your foster parents wouldn't let you touch anything of theirs- much less a piece of technology. An unlocked piece of technology.
--
"Can I get juice?" You ask quietly as you look over the menu, subconsciously looking for the cheapest option.
"Mmhm, what else?"
To that you look up, "An...and pancakes?"
"An' eggs."
"What?"
"An' eggs," he said again, looking up from his menu, "Growin, need protein."
"I don't...like eggs." You see his blonde eyebrows furrow to your words and you mumble on, "Not alone, I like potatoes and eggs but eggs alone make me gag."
"Then get potatoes an' eggs."
Darn, there goes pancakes. So when the waitress comes back over she gets Simon's order and then yours, and you ask for the potatoes and eggs, only for when she left Simon to be staring you down.
"Have you ever been told you're scary?"
"All th' time. Though' you wan' pancakes."
A moment and you blink, "You said to get eggs and potatoes."
"Get al' three."
"But that's expensive."
"Ah, yea- 20 dollar's for a meal tha' gonna make you full an' happy is expensive," He dully replied, and then your expression he did his best to soften his expression, "Kid, is okay, yeah? Don' feel bad."
You sniffle as you see the waitress come over with your juice and his very boring black coffee, "Can I actually pancakes?"
"I'd be offended if you didn't."
(anywaaay that's it! hope you liked it! <33 ps. i love feedback and comments it truly makes my day!
205 notes · View notes
venting402 · 20 days
Text
Indelible kiss.
König x Fem reader.
König insists he wants to keep your relationship in secret, what a surprise when someone catches a glimpse of your lipstick on his neck.
Warning: grammatical and spelling errors.
Tumblr media
It was supposed both were training at the same hours, just a coincidence, no one would dare to think about something else, after all, König is your Colonel, he's so serious and professional all the time and he never showed any kind of affection or favoritism for you. He treats you in the same way he treats the rest of the team.
So, why would someone suspect you and him? No one would imagine what happens in those late hours of the night, the gym is actually empty, no one is exercising at these hours.
In fact, no one was awake, except for you and him.
- Don't leave König, stay here.
Both are in your dorm, the door is closed and locked, you prefer to prevent, he doesn't want to be caught.
König leaves every night, just in case someone goes to his dorm and doesn't find him there.
- You know I can't stay Meine Liebling...
He's laying on the bed while your body rests over his. His bare chest is warm and always smells good, you love his perfume, it is addictive, you're looking at him with pleading eyes.
- Soon or later someone will know about this, please just for tonight my love!
- Nein, mein kleiner Engel (my angel) we can't let them know, not yet.
He caressed your body with his big hands, you love to feel his hands on you.
You would like to let everybody know about what happens between you and König, but he insists he prefers to keep it in secret, he thinks it's better when no one poke up the nose, he always has the feeling that people will try to separate you from him because he's probably not good for you.
On the other hand, you think it's better and more enjoyable if everybody knows about it, they will be happy for both of you, your team is like your family, you think it is unfair to hide your relationship from them but since König refuses you've been thinking about other ways to let them know love is in the air.
You already tried, you accidentally forgot a shirt in his dorm, you also left your underwear mixed in his dirty laundry, you put your perfume in his clothes, you even gave him innocent compliments in front of the team, you stole some of his clothes and wore them around the base. You don't know if some of those ideas have worked because no one has tried to ask you.
So this time you will try something else, everybody knows you always have lipstick on, wine or cherry, those are your colours. You're sure everyone knows it.
One of the things König loves the most about you, is that too, your beautiful lips always with those pretty colours.
- Ahhh... Okay, but before you leave can I show you something?
- Of course you can, go on.
You stood up and walked to your desk, you took the lipstick and went to the bathroom, then you went back to the bed and turned on the lamp of your nightstand.
- Do you like it?
- Schatz, you look beautiful, is it new?
You nodded in silence, the way he stares at your lips causes you something hard to explain in words but the feeling between your legs and the butterflies in your stomach are proof enough of how much you enjoy this moment.
You started to plant kisses over his chest, escalating to his neck and face.
- Schatz, I love when you kiss me like this but I really have to go back.
*a kiss on his lips* - okay, go *another kiss* - sleep well baby *another kiss* - I love you...
He kissed you once more and he got out of your bed and dressed up quickly, then he left.
König always gets up early and runs to the shower, this time he was really tired, he woke up a little bit later than usual, he tried to be quick but then, he had a problem, your lipstick is hard to clean.
He tried hard, his skin was irritated.
- Scheisse (shit)
He muttered while looking at himself in the mirror of his bathroom when a familiar voice calls him out of his dorm.
- König, Man, are you ok? We're late... Can I come in?
Horangi always goes to knock at his door and both go to the common area together.
König ran to put his shirt on and unlocked the door.
- Ja, come in.
Horangi opened the door and closed it, König is pretending to be busy fixing his hair and his belt, until he remembered he doesn't have his hood on.
Horangi already noticed the absence of the hood and handed it to König
- Where's your head today colonel?
- I don't know, I got up at the wrong side of the bed.
Before he could put the hood on Horangi noticed a red spot on his friend's neck, that's not a mosquito or spider bite, it's a kiss, a red kiss, the lipstick colour looks familiar to him but he can't remember where he has seen it before.
- What the...? (He muttered)
- What?
- No, nothing, are you ready?
- Ja, let's go.
Both left the room. You were in the common area talking with Roze and other people who were there, nothing special or interesting, you were thinking about how silly you were, you planted kisses all over and forgot that König is always hiding his face and always wears long sleeve shirts.
König and Horangi appeared a few minutes later, you noticed Horangi was observing you a lot, König was giving some instructions for the day when Horangi went to your side and spoke almost in a whisper.
- I know what you did last night.
- What are you talking about?
- I saw your lipstick on König's neck.
You blushed, you really weren't expecting it could work, you looked at him as if you saw a ghost, you obviously couldn't see his face but Horangi is smiling with mischief, you didn't say a word and neither did him, the day continued normally, it was until the meal time, as soon as you appeared in the dining hall's door, all eyes were on you. You sat at the usual table with Horangi, moments later König arrived too, all eyes on him, you feel guilty you know his anxiety will increase thanks to you and your mulishness. Poor könig, he sat and instantly asked why everyone was observing him.
- What's going on?
- Nothing colonel, I think everyone wonders why you have a very familiar red lipstick on you.
You hit horangi down the table, König didn't say nothing, but you can see his eyes, he's shocked.
- Sorry Man, perhaps I mentioned it to the wrong person, now everyone knows about you and y/n.
König sighed and continued eating a piece of apple under the mask. At night you weren't expecting him, you supposed he would be angry, but then he opened your door.
You were looking for your pajama pants, you felt too guilty, you didn't want to see him angry. Then a pair of hands were placed around your waist, warm kisses were placed on your shoulder then your neck.
- Are you not angry?
- Nein, I can't be upset, it was an intelligent move, you knew someone would notice it.
- I'm sorry König, In my defense I never expected it worked.
He laughed, you love when he does it, for you It's a reminder of how happy he is when you're around.
- It was also my fault, I forgot to put my hood on.
Did he... what? You looked at him, you can't believe what he said.
- How is that possible?
- Meine Liebling, you left me exhausted last night... I admit I like the fact that now everybody knows you're mine.
You're blushing, your face looks like a red apple, he doesn't say anything else and kisses you. This man will be the death of you.
584 notes · View notes
venting402 · 22 days
Text
3 Times Jake Lockley Tried to Kill You and 1 Time He Saved Your Life
Part 1 of 4 - Knife
Tumblr media
Miniseries Masterlist || Main Masterlist || next
Pairing: Jake Lockley x f!reader
Summary: Jake has been hired to assassinate you - the daughter of Chicago's most powerful and corrupt man
Or: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Word Count: 2.5k
Content: nsfw, mdni, more below the cut, READ the warnings. Dead dove - you will get what is warned!
There is no non-con in this fic, but it's dark in the sense that the reader IS in real danger from Jake. Violence, language, stalking, blood, knife play, also actual knife use - like for its intent - stabbing, danger, sexy dreams, glove kink, masturbation, not beta'd
☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚
The second time Jake saw you up close, he darkly chuckled to himself at how easy of a mark you were.
Everyone in his line of work knew who you were - the beautiful daughter of the most powerful man in the city. And your father had endless enemies.
Including the one who hired Jake to take you out. Jake's boss was a lot of things, but he wasn't stupid. To assassinate the most powerful mob boss' only daughter required someone removed from the situation. Someone professional. Invisible.
Jake wasn't stupid either. There wasn't enough money in this city to lure him into crossing your father.
No, this was plain, old fashioned revenge. So maybe Jake's boss was stupid - this was personal, for Jake anyway.
So tonight, as he saw you walking out of a club with your girlfriends, your inept bodyguards flanking you, he sneered.
You had style - that, Jake had to admit. Your dress fit you like a glove, but landed an inch or so longer than your obvious minions’ skirts. The girls around you were trying too hard. You didn’t have to.
They flocked to your power and your money (or your father's), but the attempt was desperate, at best.
But you held yourself with a self-assurance and something Jake had no idea he was interested in until he'd started tailing you: class.
Your eyes shone as your laughter rang out into the night. You must’ve been a little tipsy, if the glow of your cheeks was any indication.
The bodyguards - who Jake mentally referred to as Dumb and Dumber - ushered the small group of you into a waiting car.
Jake thought about it: driving you. Using his day (or night) job to get close to you. Too complicated. You had a faithful driver, well paid, who had shuttled you around the city practically all your life. Then, of course there were Dumb and Dumber and the other girls to...dispose of.
So no driving. Not this time.
You rarely ventured out alone, but Jake had discovered your quietest moments. You lived in a hotel, actually - one of your father's - in a penthouse, with, at least, adequate security.
So, no home invasion. That made Jake feel like a creep anyway, and he wasn't a creep. He was a professional.
He found the easiest access to you would likely come during one of your early morning jogs in the park, or while you liked to shop or run errands during the day.
In fact, he walked right by you just yesterday.
That was the first time he saw you up close.
You were even more beautiful up close.
Yesterday, he simply wanted to see if Dumb and Dumber would notice how close he got. He was also checking out the lack of security cameras in the park.
He had to do this right. And even then, he would flee afterward. He hated this city anyway.
Fucking Chicago. Every horrible thing in his life went wrong in this city. New York never treated him so poorly. And besides, the alter in his head preferred life across the pond. So, finishing this job would be the perfect excuse to never return.
So the next morning, he arrived in the park before sunrise. Sure enough, you came jogging round the corner, an unsafe number of strides ahead of Dumb and Dumber. Or...it was only Dumber this time. One bodyguard? Seriously, this was too easy.
All it took was a gloved hand around your mouth and a knife to your ribs to get you where he wanted you, into the dense thicket, away from prying eyes.
You struggled, but Jake’s experience won out. He used the tip of his knife to inflict the slightest twinge of pain.
"I can make this almost painless," he breathed on your ear.
You whimpered, angry with yourself for going limp in his arms as you felt the pinch of pain in your ribs.
However, you're weren't stupid either. If he wanted to kill you, he would have dragged that blade across your jugular with your mouth still covered. You would bleed out silently and he would have plenty of time to escape before your bodyguard found you.
His annoying poke to your ribs and striking up a conversation meant he wanted something else and that's why you shuddered. This was a kidnapping or an assault. Or he was a sick freak who wanted to play with his food first.
He whirled you around and pushed you up against a tree, crowding in front of you, with your mouth still covered.
The tree's bark scraped against your bare legs, but cold, dark eyes which - under different circumstances, might have captivated you - momentarily distracted you.
Distinguished nose - mouth set in a thin line, strong, square jaw with a beard - well kempt. Dark brown curls peeked out of a flat cap. He almost looked like something out of the 1930's when you really thought about it.
Which...given the circumstances, why in the hell were you thinking about his looks?
Finding your courage, you tried to speak against his gloved hand. He positioned the knife at your throat - finally a more useful spot - and breathed against your cheek. "Scream and it'll be your last word, doll."
You nodded quickly, trying to blink back the moisture in your eyes. Your father was going to end this asshole, but you might suffer mightily first.
Slowly, Jake removed his hand, keeping it close to your mouth in case you got any ideas.
"Why didn't you just cut my throat?" You gasped, your chest heaving, drawing his eyes momentarily down to the fit of your sports bra and your chest, glistening with a light sheen of sweat.
"Are you offering suggestions?" One dark eyebrow shot up, almost comedically.
"It would be the quickest and quietest way," you confessed, shrugging one shoulder. "I'm just trying to see what I'm in for. You want me to beg or something? Cry? Just tell me and get it over with."
Jake chucked.
Oh. So he was a condescending asshole. Awesome.
Still, he didn't taunt you or threaten you, which probably meant ... damn it.
"Aw hell, you're a pervert then?" You scoffed. "I'm not a virgin, if that's what you're hoping."
That puzzled your captor, but only for a moment. " - no," he scoffed. "That's not something I have to...coerce."
You rolled your eyes, but made sure to keep still because that knife tip was starting to dig into your throat. "I'm sure you're a real catch. Just get this over with. My bodyguard will be here soon."
The corner of Jake's mouth curled. "Trust me, I'm not worried about him."
You shivered slightly, realizing he'd done his homework. "What do you want?" You managed, a little more desperately than you were hoping to sound.
"Revenge," he evenly responded
You locked eyes and saw honesty there.
You slightly nodded, swallowing hard as his breath ghosted your cheek.
"W-what did I do to you?"
Jake's eyes darkened as he pulled the blade from your throat and positioned it right over your heart.
"Your father killed my brother."
Wetting your lips, you whispered, "I'm sorry. I-I don't know anything about that."
"'Course you don't," Jake sneered. "But your father does."
"So I have to pay for your brother's life with my own?" You hurriedly reasoned. "You think that will make my father suffer the way you have? There's no way. I don't even think he loves me." Your voice was now dripping with panic, but Jake started to admire the way you fired off protests.
"Nice try," Jake scoffed. "Everyone knows you're daddy's pride and joy. You're the only way to his heart."
"Then do it," you spat. "I hate all this Criminal Minds villain discourse bullshit. Just put us both out of our misery."
"Villain?" Jake huffed. "I'm the villain? Your father has corrupted this entire city! And you benefit from every cent and every life he takes. You're the villain - both of you."
"Then what are you fucking waiting for?" You hissed, jerking against him, causing the knife to slip and slice your chest.
"Shit!" You cried out, your hands flying to cover your wound, which was only superficial, but still hurt like hell.
The gloved hand clamped back over your mouth as the knife tip dragged down your sternum to just under your ribs once more. Without hesitation, he pushed the blade into your abdomen.
You screamed into his hand, tears streaming down your face. Your body flamed with searing pain as you went limp in his arms.
"Shhh, shh, sweetheart. It's only enough to slow you down. You'll live. Promise."
And he fucking left you there.
With his knife inside you.
Oh your father was going to crucify this asshole.
☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚
You spent hardly any time at all in the hospital - the wound was so insignificant. Still, you were stabbed so it warranted medical attention and your father was furious. He attempted to double security around you and forbade you from leaving your penthouse.
You indulged him for a day or so but you weren't one to be caged. He'd made your life enough of a living hell. You felt scared all the time, always a pressure point for him - a bargaining chip for his enemies.
You didn't tell him about the bouquet of tulips you received from your attacker, with a note that read, 'Did you keep what I left inside you?'
The next day, gardenias arrived with another note. 'I'll show you how to use it sometime.'
Okay, so maybe you were stupid. Because instead of turning the notes over to your father, or even the police (not likely), you kept them to yourself.
The most intriguing thing about this mystery man was how he was managing to get these flowers and notes past your (obviously shit) security.
You dreamed.
He's pinned you up against the tree. His gloved hand applies pressure to your throat. The tip of his knife blade traces lightly over your bottom lip, before he drags it down the smooth column of your throat. He trails down your chest, raking it between your breasts before slicing right through your sports bra. Your breasts spring free and his eyes darken. He grazes your nipple with the blade - the cool metal electrifying your peak, making it go stiff.
His grip on your throat loosens as he pushes gloved fingers up over your jaw and slips his leather clad digits into your mouth. His eyes find yours again as you obediently suck without being asked.
He pushes his fingers to the back of your throat, gagging you, which makes him smirk.
Then he surprises you by taking his hand out of your mouth and pushing the hilt of the knife into your palm.
"Hold this for me, baby," he instructs, roughly shoving his sopping wet glove - wet with your spit - into your tight leggings, slipping them between your already soaked folds.
Your hand shakes as you realize you have the power - you have the knife and you can get away. You can hurt him back, like he hurt you.
Without another thought, you jab the knife into his side, even as his gloved thumb circles your clit.
"That's my girl," he pants as blood pools and spills through his crisp, white dress shirt. You yank the knife back out, puzzled, but your brain is starting to short-circuit from the wildest fingerfucking you've ever experienced.
You try to whisper his name, wondering if he'll be okay, but you realize - you don't even know his name. You have no inkling whose fingers are stuffed inside your cunt, even as you grind down on his palm, riding his glove like a toy.
You woke up covered in sweat, slick heat pooled between your legs even as your belly filled with shame.
Without another thought, you reached into your nightstand drawer for the knife he left inside you.
You yanked your nightgown aside, gently running the cool metal over your nipples, just the way he'd done in your dream.
You shoved your fingers into your mouth, just like he had, and once they were sopping you slid them into your silky panties and rubbed your clit furiously.
"Oh god," you moaned, writhing, carefully scraping the knife across your other nipple before a nasty idea formed. You used the knife handle and pushed it down over your clit with two fingers of the opposite hand stuffed inside you.
You felt wrong - disgusted with yourself. The man wasn't being sexy - this wasn't some fantasy of a dangerous man in the woods. He had no interest in you. He threatened you - stabbed you, for fuck's sake. Who knew what else he was capable of? He could've taken advantage of your body or sliced your throat.
And now he'd sent the flowers and messages. So he was probably a stalker. This would escalate and be dragged out, just like you'd wanted to avoid.
He was probably watching you right now.
...which, to your utter shame made you feral.
You moaned so loudly, you were sure your bodyguards would rush in.
"Can you see me?" You panted, repulsed with yourself, but so close, rubbing the blunt end of the knife faster and faster over your clit as you shoved your fingers as deep as they would go.
One more thought of that horrible man plunging his knife in you and your back arched euphorically as a powerful orgasm wracked your body - as good as any with your array of top-of-the-line toys.
As you lay there panting, wondering how you would rid yourself of this shameful new obsession - masturbating to a man who wanted revenge against your father - who attacked you and honestly, showed no real interest in you - you decided you needed a way to reach him.
He was able to get to you somehow, by sending you flowers and notes.
So the next day, you instructed your staff to return a wrapped, sealed box to whomever delivered flowers, and you paid handsomely to make sure the box got back to the sender.
It may never make it to the mystery man, but you had to try.
☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚
"I told you - you can't come back here," Jake scolded the young delivery boy.
"Sorry, mister. That lady gave me a ton of money to bring this to you."
Fortunately, Jake had met up with this little idiot on a street corner and not near where he lived, nor near his car. He also used a false name.
It was risky enough sending things to you, but you got under his skin.
He knew this was all a bad idea. His boss wanted you dead and Jake wanted his revenge for Randall.
But here he was, behaving like a pathetic stalker, sending you flowers and creepy notes, bypassing your security.
And now you sent something back?
Jake pulled the lid from the box and almost choked. It was his knife. Something had...dried on the handle, along with what he could only assume was still your blood on the blade. And there was a handwritten note.
'I came on it.'
next
☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚☾ ⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚
Jake Lockley-Centric stories
Moon Knight Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Follow @ivystoryupdates and turn on notifications to never miss an update
202 notes · View notes
venting402 · 22 days
Text
könig is quiet and all, stays in a mans place and doesn’t speak unless spoken to etc etc, but i just know his approach with people he’s attracted to is so assertive. he’s always been a little off-putting but he’s learned how to make it work for himself. picturing him with shy!reader that isn’t used to such blunt and blatant… flirting (?) (his idea of flirting is just stating observations he makes about you and staring into your soul until you fold)
he’s so the type to tone it up once he realizes how flustered you get, just because he finds amusement in watching you squirm and struggle to hold his intimidating eye contact. he’ll go out of his way to make every interaction you have with him uncomfortable for you, invading your personal space and speaking to you in a tone of voice that has your knees all wobbly once he leaves, all because you asked him a simple question. he’d tease you extra hard, pointing out the way you stumble over your words whenever he’s near you, so easily overwhelmed by his domineering presence and undivided attention.
he can be such a weirdo, sometimes relying on shock factor by saying dirty things to you, just to toy with your emotions and confuse your cute little head. you never know if you’re being too sensitive, or if he was never taught proper social skills. doesn’t he know some things are inappropriate say to someone?? :( it’s even worse that your body always reacts positively to it, heat flooding your tummy at his suggestive words.
and he finds it adorable that your coping mechanism for his antics is to pretend that you’re disgusted by him, scrunching up your face at the innuendos he makes and scoffing at the subtle touches he gives you. but you both know you secretly enjoy the attention. he’ll constantly test your boundaries, seeing how far he’s able to push the limits before you snap. you’re his favorite form of entertainment…
you try to convince yourself to get over your little crush now, because if him just talking to you is enough to get you all worked up, you know you couldn’t handle actually being with him!!
649 notes · View notes
venting402 · 23 days
Text
the lamb experiment
a body is given. and it cannot be taken back.
Tumblr media
pairing: ghost (+ tf141) x curvy!fem!reader word count: 6.3k summary: the 141 are not known for their pliancy. in an effort to take back control, they send a lamb to slaughter.
cw: (18+) mature language and content, suggestive language and content, dark!tf141, military criticism, unhealthy power dynamics, graphic descriptions of violence + gore + torture + murder, themes of dubcon (but reader is consenting), piv, cumplay, fear play, size kink, praise kink, curvy!reader with hair long enough to hold
Tumblr media
You don't think you've ever been the object of anyone's affections, not really. Although you are blessed with many gifts, even physically, you do not see yourself that way when you look in the mirror. How you feel inside betrays you when you look in one, and instead of staring too long, you always turn away.
This time, you stare. Because her ass looks nice, and her skin looks soft, and her face isn't disagreeable.
This reflection almost terrifies you. In front of you lies a woman you do not know.
She looks good. Your clothes are a size too snug, and it squeezes all the parts of you that normally you attempt to hide. Your thighs, the cinch of your waist, every curve you cover up with your uniform normally is on display, and instead of your hair in a standard bun, it lays free. You are anything but the soldier you always see, and just when you think about running, there is a knock at the bathroom door.
You open it, straightening out your outfit, and you look down shyly when you see the face on the other side of the door.
"It's...a little tight," you say, tugging at the waistband of your pants, but the woman tuts, crossing her arms over her chest as she steps back to look you up and down.
"It's as it should be," she responds, very matter-of-fact. "Now follow me. Need to debrief before your flight."
Her name is Laswell. You have not been graced with any other name, and you suspect it is because she wants you to call her Laswell and nothing else. She is blunt and intelligent, and there is no room for anything but the truth with her. If you answer her with a lie, she waits until she hears what she knows is expected.
When you sit, she spreads a few files out in front of you. Four manila folders, three packed with documents and pictures, one with documents only. You reach for one, eyeing the labeled name.
MacTavish.
You open it, and you're overwhelmed with the information. You see a man with pretty blue eyes and a military history that would put your old squadron to shame. Flicking through the pages, there are numerous confirmed kills, no small list of disarmed explosives, reports written by others and himself that even at a quick glance exude something impressive, utmost intelligence and extensive knowledge. You take note of his unique hairstyle; shaved sides of his head and tuffs of dark waves that run down the middle. You acknowledge how much you like when it gets a little long, falling in curls over his forehead.
The next file is equally as large. You flip it over, and you tilt your head to the side when you see a picture of him. He isn't posing, but his stature is one of confidence, and he's gorgeous. A strong facial structure, dark eyes. He keeps his hair short, and his skin is dark, and as your eyes roam lower, you notice the strong muscles of his forearms as he grips a rifle. His skill sheet is no less impressive than his sergeant counterpart. He has been in so many dangerous situations, and he comes out with nothing but scratches; and he seems to be deadlier with nothing but his hands than any small firearm could be.
Kyle. It's fitting.
You look away from his pretty face to their commanding officer. There is a picture of him with the other two sergeants, and you notice how he stands taller than them, but just as broad, and you think military fatigues suit him well. He wears his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and you can see the expanse of his strong arms and his large hands, and you take note of his carefully sculpted beard and the hat he wears. When you flip through the history, you are overwhelmed with the amount of ops he carries under his belt. This man is a war machine. You suspect there is a number on his head somewhere, in some distant country, and it makes you shift in your seat when you realize this isn't someone easy to kill.
He does the killing. And that's all that matters to the Crown.
John. That is the one that has to matter most.
"He's the one who calls the shots." Laswell's voice cuts through your heavy thoughts. She takes the last folder and opens it for you, and immediately you notice the lack of photos here. "But this is the glue."
Ghost. That is the name that sits on the official documents, but there is a dirty sticky note pasted next to it with Laswell's chicken scratch.
Simon Riley.
"His name is redacted," she says simply. "And so is his face."
"He has no face?" You ask, and when you realize how you worded it, you think it a stupid sentence, but Laswell only stares.
"Not one that matters," she responds. You look back down at the documents. He is tall, and you observe that he's most skilled with a sniper rifle, although he doesn't lack confidence or efficacy in any other form of combat. Hand-to-hand, smaller firearms, rifles, he uses them all with a terrifying accuracy, and you pull the papers closer to you as you read more.
"The glue," you murmur, not quite understanding. "And what am I supposed to be?"
"The solvent. The hammer. Whatever the fuck I need you to be."
The thing that breaks it apart. The thing that tears. The thing that makes them bleed.
And so you lie. It is what you do, what you are taught. Laswell is good at it, and you are a fish to water with it. You lie until it comes as easy as breathing, you learn to pretend until it is all you know, and when you create your second life, it is easy because it is the only one Laswell tells you to know.
You are a soldier, and you do as you're told. When your orders are to forget who you were and become something else, you do it, because that is how it works. And you know what you are in Laswell's eyes--you are a weapon, and you gave your body to the state, and she can do what she pleases with it.
And you know, really, what she expects you to do.
It isn't spoken of. She never says it out loud. But when you study the files she gives you, you notice there are more details that what is necessary. You learn more about them, in ways that feel intimate, that feel secret.
That John's favorite color is red. That MacTavish likes a traditional meal. That Kyle has a sweet tooth and likes jazz. That Ghost downs two fingers of Kentucky bourbon to unwind.
They are things to help make them agreeable, you think, but agreeable in what way is up to you.
But red looks good in lace. You've been told the stomach is the way to the heart. Chocolate is supposed to be an aphrodisiac. And alcohol is the perfect enabler--and armed with this information, you will divide and conquer.
Break and tear apart. Separate. Sever the bond. That is your mission, that is what you've been told to do, and you will do it because that is what a good soldier does, and this is all you are.
Laswell's pet. Her pretty little soldier. The hammer to her nail, the bone for her dogs, the string that will mend the ones snapped by her own puppets.
She wants control, and she isn't stupid, and neither are you. When you look in the mirror again, you understand why she picked you. No matter how far her men stray, they cannot change what they are at their core.
Men.
And men are fickle.
You suspect, you hope, even these ones are. They are not gentle, and Laswell makes sure that you learn well why it is they need supervision. She shows you pictures, videos, eyewitness statements of their spiral into violence.
It's not that they weren't war criminals before, but they were her war criminals. Unsanctioned ops, sure, but they toed a line that was drawn for them. But then the red tape became too much, even if there wasn't very much of it for them.
They began to ignore orders. When they were told to stay put, a sergeant would slip off, and under the guise of protecting them, all four would end up in a firefight. And when this became a frequent excuse, they stopped coming up with them. They simply showed up in manila folders like the ones you held, enemy casualties sometimes in the hundreds, and they did not appear even when required.
Debriefing? Their connection was bad. A hearing in front of their superiors? They're on a mark, and they cannot move. And then it was just silence. The occasional response to real crisis, and then back underground, until all Laswell could get from them were limbs taken off the enemies they weren't allowed to kill just yet.
They knew how to disappear. They knew how to hide. They knew how to stay put, come back up overground, and then scurry back underneath where no one would find them.
But that wouldn't do. Not for the CIA, not for SAS, not for either of their governments who soon realized they had let loose a group of soldiers-turned-mercenaries who hold valuable secrets that could put their politicians at the forefront of Congressional hearings, NATO violations, and then in the right mess of breaking off relations with a numerous amount of countries they already held fragile relationships with.
The 141 is a liability. They need to be the ones pulling the reigns again, no matter the cost--and they tell Laswell to do it, and to spare no expense and to pull back the curtain on what she believes might be crossing even the lines she has drawn before, to go beyond it.
She draws this line around you. A circle, a fence, wrapping around you as she molds you into what she needs you to be. She is honest. Not always kind, but honest, and because she is, you want to succeed.
Finally, you can be of use. Finally, there is something that will give you purpose. Even if it hurts, even if it kills you, you want to give her what she needs, because it isn't fair.
You have already given them everything, and you have nothing to show for it. So you paint your face, and you zip up the tight pants, you lie and you learn and you listen, and when she tells you that they will not be gentle, all you reply is, "I won't be either."
Men are fickle. And they fucking deserve this.
You are wearing red when John sees you for the first time. It is in your hair, a bright red scarf that keeps it out of your face, and you know he looks right at you and not through you when your eyes meet.
When he eyes the open door of your room later that evening, you pretend not to notice his gaze when he drinks in the sight of you in red lingerie.
It is the first morning you are with them that Johnny wakes to the smell of something in the rec room. You stand there, at the stove, stirring a wooden spoon in a warm pot, and when he steps in, you turn to see him, and you smile. You exchange no words, but when you hold a tasting spoon out to him with a soft potato and a spoonful of wonderful broth, he can't help the way he closes his eyes. There's a beautiful woman cooking stovies in the rec room, and when he opens his eyes, you are looking right back at him.
And then it's the music that plays in the evening that catches Kyle's attention. They are trailing back to their rooms after drills, and he catches sight of you in your room, and he can hear Ella Fitzgerald, and when you look over your shoulder, he is there, and he doesn't shy away.
And then--fuck--it is so easy.
Wherever you go, they follow. Unconsciously, you suspect, but they do, and you live the lie, and it feels fucking euphoric. You know you've won when you run your knuckles down John's cheek for the first time, and he keens, nuzzling the side of his face into your hand and chasing after your touch.
They are animals. You watch them when you join them on ops, rifle in front of you as you follow them, and you keep a neutral face as you observe them wreak havoc. They kill and they maim, and they sleep like the dead at night, as if the heinous ways they kill do not bother them at all. John points, and Kyle pulls the trigger. John nods his head, and Johnny detonates, nothing but a dull reflection in those blue eyes. John clicks his teeth, and Ghost sweeps.
He sweeps, and he kills, and if it wasn't so fucking terrifying, you would have admired the way he did it. The elegance that he took on an entire room of moving targets, how he never let himself be pinned down in one spot. Whenever someone gets too close, he goes hand-to-hand, and it's fucking brutal the way he finishes them off. He keeps throwing knives in his boot, and they sink into eye sockets as if running through tender meat. He puts blades through their mouths and doesn't let them go until the light leaves their eyes.
You hate that it makes you warm. That there is something deep in your belly, that twists there, that tells you that you like it. When he turns around and meets your eyes, wringing the blade out of someone's neck and letting them drop on the floor at your feet, you don't flinch. You simply kick them to the side and step over them, and Ghost watches as you lick over your teeth as you pass by him.
Insatiable. Fucking hungry. He eyes the sway of your hips, and when he finds his next target, he uses his hands again just because he needs to feel flesh under his gloved hands, needs to tear it apart. And when he feels you watching him again, he grunts as he stands to his full height. He's a fucking bear, and you leave him with a hint of a smile before you turn the corner.
You are not sure if you are pretending that day.
They ravage, and then they go back to their beds, and they wash the blood from their clothes with ease--and the worst part of it all is that you do it, too. You come out of the same places that they do, and your face is splattered with their targets. Your jeans have flecks of brain matter, your hands are dirty with someone's singed flesh. When you finally stand in the light back at their base, all John does is sit you in front of the bathroom mirror and wipe at your face with a warm towel.
He tells you how good you've done. How special you are. How he has never seen a woman keep up with them so easily, fit into their pack like she was meant to be.
He says that you belong, but he doesn't say to who. You wonder, for a second, if he means that you belong to them all.
When you report back to Laswell, you tell her this. What you don't tell her is what you've had to do to gain this status. You don't tell her about the blood you spill. You don't tell her about the bodies you see or the men that lose their faces or how worked up the boys get after an op and how it takes them hours between your legs to lose the adrenaline.
You don't tell her this because this is for you. It's all for you.
They tell you things you aren't supposed to know. When you're in their beds, they talk, and you listen. Kyle tells you about the man they are keeping in the cellar. That he's been there for 29 days, and he hasn't said a word, but that Ghost will be next to speak to him, and he will talk then.
Kyle tells you that it is a mercy that Ghost hasn't visited him yet, but they are done playing nice. When he says this, you have the image of Ghost standing over a man who pulled a gun on you in your head, and you remember watching him with a sickening relief as he pressed his thumbs into the man's eye sockets and pushed they were nothing but squished matter. You squeeze your legs together; and this time, you don't feel bad about it.
Johnny begs for you, his bonnie lass, to keep close to him on the next op because you strayed too far today. He fucks you to make you say yes, his lips on your ear as he tells you to promise him that you'll do as he says, and that if you promise, he'll let you come. So you promise, and he fucks you boneless, and the next day, you are glued to his hip when you raid a foreign embassy for nothing but answers.
You know they know. They don't say it out loud, but you know that they all know where you go at night. One night, you are kneeling under John's desk, kissing the pearly tip of him before taking him down your throat for what feels like hours. The next, you are letting Kyle bend you over his desk, rattling it against the wall as he tells you how pretty you are. And in the morning, you are pressed against the shower wall, Johnny holding your wide hips in his hands as he fucks into you, begging you, bonnie, please--give it to me, tha's it, right there, ye can do it, good girl--
Good girl. That's what you are. You're a good girl, and you do as you're told. You smile, and you keen, and you give them big, soft eyes, and you let them have the illusion of control. Maybe they think they're pressuring you. Maybe they think they scare you. Maybe they think this is why you get on your knees for them or let them pool your pants at your ankles or allow them to have you whenever they want, but the reality is that you want it, and you need it, and this is working.
They don't even realize you've fucked them into submission because they're too busy showing off.
A domino effect. You expect them all to fall once you have the captain, but there is one chess piece that does not move willingly.
Ghost.
He is an unmovable object. He stands still and rigid, and he is a statue that refuses to be pushed or pulled in any direction but one he deems. Even in the middle of the nights, when you notice he is awake, he never joins you when you drink his favorite bourbon outside. He doesn't ask for a cigarette when you smoke one, even though you never actually take a puff of it. He passes by you, and he doesn't look at you, and you are invisible.
You want to be content with what you've accomplished, but it isn't enough.
This is the glue. He is the glue, and without him, everything falls apart, and you cannot fail. There isn't room for it. And maybe you feel bad for preying on the parts of Ghost that you think he prefers to keep hidden, but you need to catch him before he gets too far away.
A kitchen accident. A knife that plunges too deep, that draws blood and makes you cry. You are in the bathroom, tears coming down your face, blood in the sink, and your hands are shaking as you try and patch yourself up. You are loud enough to draw the attention of the lieutenant whose door is only just across the hall, and when he sees you there, he doesn't leave you.
One moment there is nothing, and the next, he is behind you, a pervasive warmth at your back, and you whimper when a gloved hand wraps around your injured hand. Wordlessly, he turns the faucet on, running your hand under the water, and you hiccup, looking away and breathing deeply.
He wraps your hand in his room. You sit on his bed, and he works to cover the wound, and you know he has done this before. Soothed another's tears, quieted soft cries, covered up cuts and bruises and things that will scar.
He kneels in front of you, and when he stands to his full height, you tip your head back to look up at him. You think you will meet a soft gaze, but he glares, and he seems angry. When you open your mouth to speak, he tsks, and your tip trembles as you close it.
"Y'can fool the others," he says lowly, finally. "But not me."
You frown, confused. When you sniffle, he snarls.
"I know why y'r here," he murmurs. "Isn't the first time Laswell has sent one of her little...toys."
You clench your jaw. For a moment, something envious rattles you. You aren't like anyone else. You are certain no one has accomplished what you have, that no one has gotten this close to rock the fucking boat or pet the beast. He doesn't get to demean the progress you've made like this, even if he's figured you out, because you aren't going anywhere.
Not until you get everything you need.
"Excuse me?"
"Y'r a spy. You're CIA's whore, and I don't like y'here, puttin' y'r bloody nose where it don't belong," he kneels, his voice low and gruff, and he reaches over and grips your chin hard. "Y'may have fooled them. In their fuckin' beds...in their heads--" He draws you closer, and you swallow. "But y'r not in mine."
You meet his eyes. They are dark, and they are meant to scare you, but the feeling that runs through you isn't one that terrifies you. He is a magnet--and you can feel the field of his presence, and it has you. This is supposed to be your show. They are men, and they are stupid, and you hate them, and Ghost should be eating out of the palm of your fucking manicured hand, but there he is, spitting against his mask, and it is you that aches to see what is underneath the cotton.
"So, little lamb..." Ghost rumbles, and it is with his entire chest that he speaks. "Wot is it you're here to do, eh?"
You shake your head, "N-Nothing. She...all she told me was that this was a joint operation...CIA and SAS--"
"Y'r on the piss, I know that," he hisses, clicking his teeth. "Joint operation," he laughs, but it is without humor. "Is that we're calling this now? Being barracks bunny for the 141?"
"Fuck you," you snap, shoving his hand off. "You're a fucking bastard, and if you think--"
"If I think wot, eh?" He stands, and you choke as he grips you by your throat, lifting you off of his bed and forcing you against the wall. You grip his wrist, but it is useless, because he's a brute, and you are nothing to him. He holds you there on your toes, and you grip him tighter, but he doesn't budge. Even digging your nails into him doesn't make him flinch. If anything, he seems amused. "Wot kind of trainin' she make y'do, eh? Did ya have to practice? Who'd y'shag to get y'r stripes?"
"Eat shit," you spit, and he snickers. There is fire in your eyes, venom on your tongue, you are a fighter, and when the world is so quiet, fighting feels good, and he knows this feeling well. He understands what it means to be nothing and then something, what it means to worthless and then useful in the eyes of government and government alone.
Because you are useful, but only to Laswell, and only as this, whatever this is. Whatever you are. Pet, prize, toy--it doesn't matter what the name is today, but it will stick tomorrow, and you wonder, sickeningly, if that is your destiny.
To be unknown. To be used. To be the property of what you do not know. To be given, to be taken, to not know and to be content with not knowing.
To accept it because it is still better than whatever you were before.
He sees this. He looks into your eyes, he breathes in, and he hums, and when his grip loosens just enough, you put your toes on the ground, and you lean in, and there you are.
One and the same. Bitten, chewed, spit out, two people who are products of their suffering and the culmination of their sheer fucking will to live, even if the living is miserable.
Maybe that is what it is. Maybe it's what's broken that will put you together. Ghost is the glue, you are the solvent, and you will make it so.
Because I can't fail, I can't do it, I won't go back, I can't go back--
"I'm here for me," you whisper. "I'm here for me, and no one else--" You gasp, and it isn't a lie, not really. You are here for you, this is for you, even if it is at the downfall of someone else. If you need to step on necks to get ahead, you will.
Ghost is the last piece. The last one you need to move. He is stuck, but now you know what it is you need to do, you know how to set the game into motion.
"Ghost," you breathe, and it's soft, it's quiet. You meet his eyes, and you lean close, and he feels your breath on the front of his mask. "It's not what you think."
"You're a lamb."
"I don't wanna be a lamb."
"It doesn't matter what y'want, y'are a lamb," he growls, and you whine, and he hums, and you can see the crinkle of his eyes, and you know he must be smiling. "Tha's wot y'are, and y'can't run away from tha'."
You blink, and he stares, and there is understanding. You are prey, and you belong, but you don't know where. But then you remember you are a soldier, and it isn't your job to know. Your job is to lie still and let them have you.
And to not tell my handler how much I like it.
"It's what they made me," you whisper, and when there are tears in the corner of your eyes, he is gentle. He smooths his hand down your throat, rubbing a thumb over your trembling lip, and you know that he understands you. "It's not what I wanted."
"It's never what we want," he murmurs. "Never."
You hold your breath when he cups your face with a big gloved hand. Dark eyes on soft ones, and you wonder what it would be like to have him. He doesn't keen the way John does, doesn't kneel the way Johnny kneels, doesn't follow and listen without objection the way that Kyle does. No, he's a brick wall, and you need to be what knocks him over. You need to shake the foundation, split it in two.
You need to sever the fucking bond and do your fucking job.
"So when can I have what I want?" You ask him softly. "When...when is it my turn?"
He tilts his head to the side, curious, and you slide your hands up his forearms, over the muscle of his biceps. He is everything you cannot have.
And he is everything that you suddenly realize you want.
Forbidden. Unrelenting. The oxygen to a raging fire. He isn't the glue, he's the catalyst to whatever the fuck you bring to the experiment, and even though you know this will be disaster, you want it. You want it so badly.
Destruction tastes so good. Control is victory. Sex is power, and you want him, you want this, you want him to have you, to own you, to make you see what he sees, because it will be familiar because you are the same.
"Y'r a soldier," he says lowly. "Not about what we want. 's about what they want."
"Fuck what they want," you groan, looking away, and then a few tears slip down your face. "Fuck what they do with us. If I die for them, they only tick some fucking statistic. It means nothing. So why can't I do what I want with the time I get before...before I'm just...before I'm nothing again?"
And there it is. The mirror you hold up. The common ground. The level playing field. The two paths that cross, this is it, I have it, I have it, I fucking have it, I have him, he's mine--
He kisses you. You don't get to see his face, but his lips are there, a precious amount of skin that you're blessed with seeing until your eyes are closing.
His bed is warm. He fills it well, the breadth of him almost too much for its size, but it doesn't matter because he fucks so well. He eats your cunt because he's hungry, your thighs on his shoulders shaking as he laps at your wet folds.
He does this different. John is soft and slow, Kyle takes his time, and Johnny is always eager and sloppy. But Ghost watches. He slides his tongue in soft motions, watching, and when your thighs twitch and shake, he does the motion again. He flattens his tongue and drags it, and when you whine and arch your back, he revels in the way you move. He drinks what you spill, he fucks you with his tongue, and this is different because this isn't just attraction.
There is something about him. Something underneath the layers he covers himself with, under the mask, something that you can see that others cannot even though he doesn't take those layers off.
You know this is true when he's inside of you. His mask hasn't come off, but his mouth is on your ear, and he groans, and he talks, and you feel like he spoils you this way. Ghost never talks. You wonder often if maybe he has a limited amount of words, and he never says more than he has to lest he runs out of them. His eyes speak, and it's more than enough, but now, he talks, and it is a gift, and now you know.
He cradles your head as he fucks you, and he kisses you until you can't breathe, and then when he talks, it takes everything in you not to beg for more.
"Such a nice cunt...'s so nice..."
"Fuck--y'feel me, luv? Right there--" And he presses his palm down on your stomach, and you cry when he grabs your face and forces you to look at him, because he's cruel and he's mean, but his cock feels so good--
And you think it can't get better, and you think he can't go any deeper, and then your thighs are wrapped around his waist, and he's leaning over you, and you think you're forgetting your name.
You forget yourself. You forget the reason you're here. It's so hard to think when you're not yourself, when your mind is in the stars, when everything feels far away and so close all at the same time. There is a place for him inside of you now, and you know that even though he will ruin you, even though he already has, you will never be rid of him.
You've severed the bond. You've made your own.
When he kisses you again, and when he grinds his hips down so nice that your clit aches, you know suddenly what it feels like to have real control. The feeling that Laswell chases, the feeling she wants so fucking badly that she's made your body a weapon, your cunt a tool, your brain the hivemind that will make her every wish come true, you understand now.
You will make the sky blue, the birds sing, but you did not realize the power you held until you had Simon "Ghost" Riley buried so deep in you, that you aren't sure you're even really here anymore.
You gnaw on his arm, your tongue tracing the tattoos there. You taste sweat, and you swallow it, and you go numb thinking about having more of him inside of you. You want to bite and eat and take as much of him that he will let you--no.
You will bite and eat and take as much of him that you want, because he's yours, and you get whatever you want.
Your fingers grasp the cotton of his mask, and your grip is enough to pull his lips off of you, and when your eyes meet, the gaze is different. He's desperate. For once, there is something disorderly there, and he pants, and he wants something from you, and finally you have something to give him.
You fuck it out of him. You lay him on his back and let him look at you, and you fuck him because it feels good, because you want it, too, because it's all that matters. You cry into his mouth, sob, "please--! please, please, please--"
And he tugs on your hair in response, guiding your hips as he loses his composure, "'ve got you...y'r mine...'s olright, yeah--nggghhh, fuck, luv, th's it..."
You do want it. You do need it. You need them, but you want Ghost the most, because he is the piece that does not move. He is not willing to do anything except for the sake of his pack. Ghost is impenetrable, even your pretty cunt isn't enough to change his mind, but that isn't what this is.
This is mercy. Ghost, he is the product of all of his misery. You, you are the result of every man to ever betray you, the outcome of your unwavering desire for revenge. You are the same, somehow, and he knows this, and that is why can't help himself. That is why Ghost is underneath you, that is why he bares his mouth to you and lets you lick into it and allows you to taste the forbidden fruit.
Because he thinks you are him, and he thinks you think so, too, and all he's ever wanted in his life is just for someone to see him the way he saw himself.
When he comes, he paints your cunt and fills you, and you collapse, your body on fire as you come down from a high that takes your breath away. His big hands cradle you against his chest, and you don't move, too afraid to let go, and he kisses your face when you whimper. You can taste yourself on his tongue, and when he pulls out, you gather it up on your fingers and suck. He groans, and he kisses you, and then he sinks back to his knees because he doesn't hear the ringing in his ears when his mouth is on your pretty pussy.
You're just a lamb, it's all you are. Handpicked by Laswell to head into the lion's den, a scarred animal that has no one to protect her, straight to slaughter.
He knows what it feels like. He knows what it feels like to be used and forgotten, to have nowhere to go, to be backed into a corner with no way out, and he pities you.
Ghost pities you because there is nothing behind your eyes except fear. But it's a lie. You're so good at it now. It's a lie, and you tell it so well, and you're warm inside. Not from taking the last moving piece, but from the satisfaction of knowing you have done what others cannot. What others never could.
It's late when you finally settle beside him. He leaves you when you ask for something to eat. You watch him slip clothes on haphazardly and leave, the door swinging shut behind him as he shuffles to get what you need.
To provide. To protect. To shield. Ghost is good at those things, you knew he would be. A man does not nurse a brother back to health without it, does not protect his mother and defy his father without being good at being a dog.
He's a good guard dog. And when he goes, and the door is closed, you smile because the dog is mine, all fucking mine--
You reach for your phone, and you pull up the only contact in it. You type a simple message, and then you send it, and for good measure, you shut the device off, tossing it into the pile of your discarded clothes.
>> we have joy.
You are good at pretending. You can tell a lie without blinking. You have been taught to be this thing, and you do it well, because you are a soldier, and this is your mission, and you cannot fail, and you didn't fail.
When you see Laswell again, many weeks later, she is not surprised to see you covering up with long sleeves and keeping your hair down. One tug on the collar of your shirt, and she gets glimpses of the love bites that have marked bruises all across your skin. She lets you go, tells you to sit, and she smirks.
You smile back this time.
Men are fickle. And they fucking deserve this.
"Good girl," she takes out another manila folder, but it's different this time. When you open it, you have schedules of upcoming ops, intel the boys are working, evidence of their reckless abandonment of order in favor of the chaotic success of getting the job done. You have seen this first hand, you know what they do and how they do it. But now there is another factor, another subject, right in the middle of it all. It is you.
Laswell takes a seat, spreading out the papers, and you meet her eyes. This time it's different. This is the truth, and you want to feel bad for your betrayal, but you don't. The fact of the matter is that you and Laswell, together in this room, have more power at your feet than you know what to do with.
A lamb to slaughter, and yet you sleep with the wolves.
"Alright," she says. "Now let's get to fucking work."
1K notes · View notes
venting402 · 24 days
Text
Tumblr media
☁︎ — Gaz my beloved <3 u know that man is a pussy worshiper; f!reader, nsfw 18+ (MDNI)
Tumblr media
Just the mere thought of you tested every ounce of Kyle’s self-restraint. Nevermind the years of training wherein he learned just how crucial it was to have patience and control himself—this man would give up everything if it meant he could live between your legs. 
He’s typically on his knees within seconds of walking through the door when he returns home. No matter how long he’s gone or why he left, he kneels and works his mouth like there’s no sweeter prayer; like he’ll cease to exist if he doesn’t taste you. There was no question that the man worshiped the very essence of your being.
Some nights he would be so desperate to feel you cum that he would do everything he could to make you lose yourself hard and fast. But that wasn’t the norm. No, Kyle was a man who loved to see every minute detail—every little reaction—that he could coax out of you. There was no sweeter agony than his determination to turn you into a mess. He knew exactly how to touch you. He knew exactly where to place his mouth and when to back off.
You could always tell straight away when you’d end up with a night of teasing and begging. Kyle would spend minutes rubbing and squeezing the pillowy skin at the top of your thighs before he even thought about touching you anywhere else. He loved to hear the way your breathing grew deeper, loved to watch your legs spread without being asked. If you were lucky, he’d brush his fingers over your panties as a fleeting promise of more. 
He didn’t often grant you that luxury.
No, oftentimes Kyle would hold your legs apart by the underside of your thighs and simply enjoy himself. He’d litter kisses over your thighs, starting at your knee and slowly—by God, did he always go so slow—working his way to the dip where thighs met pelvis. His tongue would dart out occasionally to lap at sweat-slicked skin. Teeth grazed old hickeys and love bites, planting new ones wherever he deemed necessary. He’d do that for long and arduous sets of two on each side until you either begged or squirmed enough. 
He loved it when you wore lighter-colored panties so he could see the fabric darken with evidence of your desperation. It was only then would he lean in to place a wet kiss on your clit through the fabric (and maybe even a second if he was feeling generous.) Long, slow licks with the flat of his tongue covered your panties as if he was trying to taste your slickness off of the fabric. It was almost aggravating; not enough friction to be pleasurable, but just enough to make you need more. 
You’d beg him for more, to take the restricting garment off. “C’mon, Ky…take ‘em off, please,” you’d whine. All he would offer in return was a dismissive “mm-mmm” against the fabric that ever-so-slightly vibrates your clit. 
And he’d do that until he had his fill, until he decided he needed to taste the real thing. He’d tug the thin material down your thighs and off of your legs before his hands return to keep you propped open. He’d take a moment to admire—no, to assess—the state of you.
And of course he wouldn’t give you exactly what you wanted quite yet. He’d lean in just enough to brush his lips over the apex of your thighs, letting the anticipation stir as you grow needier and wetter. His hands would move inward, thumbs spreading your lips apart as his fleeting kisses trail closer. Sometimes his tongue would dart out to collect the slick that coated your entrance, other times he would plant kisses around your hole until you pleaded for more.
The teasing was relentless, almost endless on some nights. It never became easy to deal with when he tormented you with those gentle touches, but, Christ, was it always worth it when his mouth finally connected with your pussy and gave you that hot and wet friction that you needed more than air.
Kyle knew you wouldn’t last long if he completely devoured you—could probably time it if he really wanted—and sometimes he’d grant you that. But, typically, he’d take his time and let you really feel his tongue as it lapped slow strips from your hole to your clit.
Then his hands would slide slowly upwards, taking your hips in his grasp, his thumbs pressed gently into the dip of your hipbone. That was his way of keeping you in place while he worshiped you; he wanted to make sure you felt every little movement of his mouth over your sensitive flesh.
Sometimes it was seconds later, sometimes it was torturous minutes away, but he’d always give you what you wanted. The flat of his tongue lapped hungrily at your clit as he sucked just hard enough to make your toes curl.
Perhaps the best part about his devotion was how much he let you know he loved it too. Aside from the wet sounds your cunt and his mouth made together, Kyle was never one to shy away from moaning at your taste. 
He loved to speak right into your cunt, letting his breath hit your core and watch as you twitch in response. “Christ, you taste so damn good, love. All f’me, innit?” And when you could barely form words because of him, he accepted a breathless but affirmative grunt as an answer. “That’s right, yes it is. Pretty li’l cunt is leakin’ for me.”
He didn’t care if his words were muffled or his praise was lost between groans and sloppy wetness. As long as he could let your pussy know how much he loved it, he would.
He’d slip in a finger or two if you asked for it, but he preferred to make you cum with nothing but his mouth. He liked to see how wet he could get you and feel you clench and throb around his tongue. To him, there was no greater sense of accomplishment. It was an addictive high. So much so that he never left you with just one orgasm; two was the absolute bare minimum. But Kyle wasn’t one to do the bare minimum. 
He was so knowledgeable of your body that he seemed to know your limits before you did. He knew when he could get another one out of you before you crashed for the night. Even if it felt like you had nothing else to give, he somehow always coaxed another one out of you.
It helped when that sickly sweet tone of his encouraged you to keep going. “You can gi’me one more, yeah? Just one more, baby.” Greedy, that’s what he was. “I know you can do it. Just give me one more. Just one more time, alright?” Greedy, but damn good at getting your body back to that peak.
He’d hold you down tighter if you squirmed too much, but, truthfully, he loved feeling your thighs tense around his head when you got sensitive. Plush skin would cover his ears and drown out the rest of the world—leaving only him and your sweet pussy.
You can barely recall a time when your legs didn’t tremble as he’d pull his mouth away. Of course, he never left his prize without a set of departing kisses that trailed back down to your knees. It was a wonder he didn’t always smell like you—his face was an absolute mess every time; slick and coated with his saliva and your cum. 
You bet he’d keep his mouth on you all day if you’d let him. 
116 notes · View notes