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“you paint dreamscapes on the wall, I talk shit with my friends it’s like I’m wasting your honor” -> “you shit talked me under the table, talking rings and talking cradles” ///////:

#I sure as shit did #and it made me feral!!!! #😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 #it definitely got lost in all the other spiralling I was doing on my blog lol

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Unexpectedly getting angry at 1:30 am about how the reason MH knew what buttons to push to pull Taylor was because she’d probably confided what she was most hurt about losing in the demise of her relationship with Joe and his reaction was to twist that knife as deep into her back as he could 😵‍💫

(I’ve been on a loml all day and the “talking rings and talking cradles I wish I could unrecall how we almost had it all” is making me ill because with one person those were very real plans that seemed to have died an excruciatingly long death and with the other those were the tools of manipulation to get what he wanted knowing exactly how painful it had been in the first instance.)

#the ~womanhood of it all in this album is OOOOOOOOOOOOOF #loml

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taylor dating someone who talks about her in public i'm not used to this. i need to be sedated

#yup yup yup. #i know this is just normal #but the whole thing is that it isn’t normal for he because she’s never had this in her life #and I’m trying not to make too big of a deal of it with the parasocialism of it all #but it’s just very nice to see her be so appreciated and in turn able to exist in the world freely #i can’t even imagine how much her brain has had to rewire itself in the last year

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travis calling taylor his significant other unfortunately very cute ok goodnight

#for most people I’d be like ‘well duh’ #but given ~everything for Taylor #it is unfortunately very warmie to hear he be acknowledged in public like this ❤️ #(girlie has just always wanted to be someone’s significant other ok goodnight myself)

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The way TTPD has 31 songs and there are no skips for me unless I really can’t stand to have my heart crushed at a given moment that is WILD

#like there are skips on Midnights for me that would get me put in fandom jail lol #let alone other albums #it’s just wild to me how i have immediately gotten this album on a spiritual level lol #she made this album specifically for me as a 1989 and evermore stan #(im kidding)

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taylor’s voice on ttpd is absolutely unmatched

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Many of the songs on TTPD are about both one muse and all the muses because the through line is that they all hurt her in very specific ways. The All Too Well of it all of The Manuscript is the original sin, the first act that broke her by someone she loved*. Once you finish the album with The Manuscript, it reframes the rest of the album, because you realize that first betrayal of her trust and her faith has informed the way she’s moved through life since — and why the lines between these muses/situations are so blurry. Because the actions are specific to people, but the betrayal and the outcomes are rote; they repeat themselves over and over in different places and times. It’d almost be funny how completely predictable these men are if it weren’t so utterly devastating and earth shattering.

The story of The Manuscript hangs like a spectre throughout the entire album, illuminating why the things she felt and wanted were so painful to lose beyond the obvious, and why she felt like she had to keep settling or hurting herself in the aftermath. So TTPD is about each of them and all of them and they cannot be disentangled. What a tangled web we weave indeed.

#*i’d argue that the wcs situation would really be the first thing that did this #but i think the difference she’s painting in this album is that she genuinely loved Jake and believed him until she didn’t #the end result between jg and jm is the same (she felt used/something happened to her she felt deep regret about) #but the way they got there was different #the tortured poets department #the manuscript #i have a whole tangent about this about loml lol

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My best laid plan, your sleight of hand, my barren land, I am ash from your fire -> And all of those best laid plans, you said I needed a brave man then proceeded to play him until I believed it too and it kills me

#hoax #the black dog #lyric parallels #not saying these lines are necessarily about the same person but they are recurring themes etc #(also not not saying it lol)

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on a heavier note re: the manuscript I’m thinking about “he said since she was so wise beyond her years everything had been above board” vs “you said if we had been closer in age maybe it would’ve been fine” 🙂

#prev #i was saying this earlier #but i think there’s a lot that she reframed/repressed about that time #that she’s only begun to really reckon with in the last few years #and realizing that the person she at one point thought could have been one of her great loves #actually hurt her as badly (and in not dissimilar ways) as one of the people she’s come to hate the most in this world #which is why wcs is going to end up being one of the cornerstones of her work

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Tell my why listening to TTPD unlocked a key emotional weakness/vulnerability that I had been living around without noticing directly for all of my 34 years????

taylor has a knack for this

#im in this picture and i dont like it

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Sorry I went back to the manuscript and then atw10 and the way he says she’s so mature so everything is above board but then when leaving her says he wishes she were older, then maybe it’d be fine. And all of this paired with an album intertwining stories of two different men who said/promised one thing to her then went and did another and im just going to go throw up now

YEPPPP YEAH it’s crazy and upsetting and and and

#🥴 #men are trash pass it on

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#so you’re saying she planted the Easter eggs for the anthology 25 years ago #just kidding

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realizing things about i can do it with a broken heart

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wait i just noticed the connection between “you fire off missiles ‘cause you hate yourself, but do you know you’re demolishing me?” and “i’m queen of sand castles he destroys”… i feel sick

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taylor: my bf has blue days and suffers from mental illness. i have depression and feel like im gonna die.

people: oh i feel bad for him :/ did you say anything else? no? okay 👍

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SAFE & SOUND (2012)

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“life was always easier on you than it was on me” 🫠

#something something I know my pain is such an imposition