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sorry about the blood loss. do you uh. want it back *holds out my red dripping hands awkwardly*

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could post like “taylor swift sleeps upside down like a bat and travis kelce feeds her mashed fruit insects and sugar water with a medicine pipette” and inevitably one of the internet’s venerable hall monitors will be like “excuse me? THIS isn’t true. Hmmmmm, i wonder if people would even believe this if the OP said it about a MAN” well i wouldn’t say it about a man because there aren’t any men who do that it’s literally just her. Duh

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#my god father coded

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me: do you guys like my evil thorned plate armour and bloodred cloak? is the ominous glow of my visor slit too much?

my manserpent minion: it'ssss sssslaying absssolute penisssss, ssssire

my shambling zombie: uuuu 👍

captured gnome i keep in a birdcage: golly gee willikers it's sure some scary!!!

my straight manserpent minion: looks pretty good boss

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#YOOOOOOOOOO it’s my request :) #like one of the only books I’ve read this year I severely need to read more #polls

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#!!!!! #my 11th grade English teacher gave me a copy #polls

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see 0 note flop posts aren't that bad when they're personal but 0 note fandom posts feel literally so bad. like if you don't wanna play toys with me anymore just say that. i'll pack up my super cool awesome things and go and i'll sit on the other side of the playground by myself and i won't even look at you. fuck

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boys: jacking off

girls: jilling off

non binary : ferching a pail of water

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me as a child: this "$4.99" sales stuff is idiotic, anyone can instantly round this up to $5 in their mind, no one is falling for this

me as an adult: oh wow only $4 (with some additional numbers behind it), that's great because if it was a single dollar more that would have been the last straw for me in my miserable life

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i took elvish in school and i fucking hated it. the teacher was like 700 years old and he'd like take us on field trips to sit on the banks of babbling brooks and watch the fall of sunlight through the leaves. my friends in spanish class were like conjugating verbs and shit and meanwhile i was in an old-growth forest being overcome with awe at the sight of a majestic stag. like uhh yeah mr autumnheart when are we gonna learn like any grammar "listen to the murmur of the wind in the treetops, and you shall find the grammar you seek" like fuck dude your pedagogy leaves much to be desired

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RPG’s be like

#video

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Look, we joke a lot, but really, "you were born evil, wretched, worse than the scum of the earth, and it took killing a god to make you salvageable, so now you'd better be grateful to that god and thank him 10,000 times a day for it and fill your thoughts with him 24/7 and abide by the letter of his every word, lest you suffer unimaginable torture for all of eternity" is a truly horrendous thing to believe about yourself and other people

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#real i was doing stuff on the weekend so it’s extended

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#I don’t have enough books to sort

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i hope everyone is ready to celebrate International Down With Cis day on April 4th.

#happy down with the cis day