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wit-craft · 5 months
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Black Friday is such a joke nowadays. “Don’t miss out on 30% off” don’t piss me the fuck off. People used to hit each other over the head for a microwave that’s how low the prices were. People literally died. We used to be a country
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wit-craft · 6 months
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every moment of my life that i'm not being punished i desperately crave punishment and not even in a horny way but the moment i actually face punishment for my actions i'm like wait what the fuck this sucks why would anyone want this
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wit-craft · 6 months
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This is my unethical polycule. The nonmonogamy is consensual and negotiated we're just evil in other ways.
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wit-craft · 6 months
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neither a morning or night person but a secret third thing (always tired)
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wit-craft · 7 months
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babygirlllll
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wit-craft · 7 months
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David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, 1997 - photographed by Mark Seliger for US Magazine.
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wit-craft · 7 months
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im gonna need to get real. and also a clue. and also a grip
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wit-craft · 7 months
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i have got to get weirder and more obscene
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wit-craft · 7 months
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this email could've been a wordless locking of eyes across the street
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wit-craft · 7 months
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I'm like if an eccentric genius was fucking stupid
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wit-craft · 7 months
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I’m done w diagnoses there’s nothing wrong w me. I’m just a bit peculiar and eccentric
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wit-craft · 7 months
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i love you foils i love you gothic doubles i love you clones i love you alter egos i love you twins and false identities and shadow selves and reflections and ghosts and eidola and puppets and masks and
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wit-craft · 7 months
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I love the phrase "they get along like a house on fire". It's perfect. You and me have perfect chemistry and it's setting off the carbon monoxide detectors. People are calling emergency services to get us to stop being so chummy. Someone died
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wit-craft · 7 months
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free him he did some of that but his haters are annoying
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wit-craft · 7 months
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is THIS your man? [shows an image of a malnourished injured exhausted man with big sad eyes looking up at the camera with blood smeared all over his face and mouth. and he is visibly trembling]
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wit-craft · 7 months
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long-distance relationship (i'm a ranged fighter and you're a melee fighter)
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wit-craft · 7 months
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people want doing the right thing to be like pulling the correct lever at the correct time but actually usually doing the right thing is more like holding a moderate weight at arm's length continuously for seventeen years
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