xxlovelynovaxx

[xxlovelynovaxx]

I'm naming my dick Big Cumbus

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Adding ours since we meant to a while back!

1. Depends on the distance, usually not further than I could vocally communicate, and the one exception is the companion that is technically a system member.

2. Not sure? I can like, imagine them in daydreams same as imagining an external person, if that counts.

3. Not really, I've physically proxied for them (they communicate what they'd like me to do, and I do it for them) and very rarely I can feel like... an external nonphysical sense similar to touch/pressure to like, indicate what they want me to do, as if they used an invisible psychic hand to touch my body, but it's purely mental/emotional.

4. Yes plural and... it's hard to say exactly. Besides having an external body and never occupying ours, our companions just... feel like they're in a further "orbit" than our headmates, so to speak? A valence shell of a different energy level. Unfortunately it does come down pretty much to vibes for us... although tbf there's also just... asking a given headmate or companion, they usually know best which one they are ^^

And ofc some can be both, it's just... not been as common for us, and usually if it is the case it's that a companion chose to join the system. It's very rare, unless we were to specifically construct a body for a headmate, that a headmate would choose a vessel like that, and if they did they might end up forming an external system themselves with whatever consciousness/es might already be there

I'm Interested In The Overlap Between POSIC+ Experiences And Headmate Manifestations in Plural Systems

For anyone in the POSIC+ or delusional Companion communities, especially with Companions you talk to on a regular basis, I'd like to ask a few questions:

1. Can you mentally communicate with your Companion(s) even at a distance or when not in the same room?

2. Have you ever interacted with your Companion(s) in imagined/visualized/spiritual forms outside of their physical "body." (In daydreams, seeing them externally like imaginary friends, astral projection, etc.)

3. Have you ever had the sensation of your Companion(s) controlling your body, either fully or partially? (For example, maybe while holding them, you'll find your arm moving to a position they want to be in, and it might feel like they moved. Or maybe you type for them online and have a sensation of not being the one typing.)

4. Are you Plural in some way in addition to being POSIC? If so, how do you differentiate between communication with headmates and with your Companion(s)?

Any additional information you'd like to add beyond these questions would be great too!

Huge thank you to anyone who wants to participate! 💖

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Saw a post saying basically not to abuse medical professionals and like.

Medical professionals have extreme power over their patients. They literally hold people's lives in their hands. Is what you're calling "abuse" actually abuse, or is it self-defense against your abuse of a vulnerable marginalized person?

Well, this is the profession that exists primarily to gatekeep medical care and knowledge (at least under our current legal and political systems, given that if you have the knowledge but lack the paperwork you can face criminal charges for practicing medicine), which has a culture of hero-god worship built up around it and treats any criticism of extreme violations of patient autonomy and medical abuse as heretical and hysterical anti-science ravings.

This is them saying "don't expect us to help you do the most basic aspect of our jobs if you 'mistreat' us, we're not martyrs".

You signed up to deal with people in extreme pain, who are dying, who are in survival mode and like drowning people may accidentally hurt others no matter how badly they wouldn't normally want to, and you claim that if they "really can't help it" that's one thing, but these are the same people claiming that people are either too quiet or too dramatic to be in pain, that let people die because they don't take very serious symptoms seriously until it's too late because they think their judgment is infallible and patients don't know shit about their own bodies, and so on.

Doctors are just fucking medical cops. All I can see when a doctor says this shit (or a nurse or most other medical workers, though I'll admit that there are exceptions) is people accusing my (impoverished disabled neurodivergent queer) ass of abusing my abusive (middle class not queer abled neurotypical) mother. All I can think of is how an abused child or a battered spouse is called abusive the one time they hit back, or even say something mean, or even fucking disobey whoever is considered the "authority" in a given situation.

While this is vague-ing a post, it isn't really at anyone in particular. I'm making my own post about this on my own blog because I have medical trauma* as a result of deeply ingrained systemic abuse, primarily perpetrated by medical professionals.

*If you think trauma makes people LESS reliable narrators on the oppression that caused it, you've bought into sanist psychiatric bullshit and need to check yourself/ves. You might also consider that if the vast vast majority of a marginalized group of people share similar stories of the same type of trauma, the problem isn't actually the fucking "insanity of trauma" and that the problem is actually that fucking bad.

Abuse arises out of hierarchical power imbalances. Patients may be able to hurt medical professionals - especially physically. And I'm not saying there are never entitled people seeking medical care that treat people in general like shit. Some patients may even be able to do lasting harm. But in the vast majority of cases, patients are categorically incapable of abusing medical professionals. If you think otherwise, especially as a medical professional, it's most likely because you're unwilling to examine your own power, privilege, role in upholding deeply harmful ableist systems, the harm you've already done, your own limitations, biases, flaws, fallibility, and bigotry, and the way your own ego gets in the way of acknowledging your complicity in structural ableism.

And you know what? You've been taught at every turn to reinforce and reify those things. It's still your responsibility to deconstruct those and stop hurting vulnerable people, though.

So anyway, don't worry, you're not abusing medical professionals. Even you acting in self defense being called "abuse" is just classic victim blaming. It's the exact same thing that happens to all victims of abuse - while I have complicated feelings about this mnemonic, it is basically DARVO, and sometimes it's also the bullshit concept of "reactive abuse" being weaponized against victims, if they have the bare minimum decency of recognizing the abuses of medical professionals as such.

Don't abuse patients. Don't abuse disabled people. Get over yourself and recognize that you did sign up for a job that is sometimes dangerous, that sick, injured, and dying people don't owe you worshipful gratitude for often failing to do the bare minimum of your damned jobs, and that any actual abuse you face is not from fucking patients, but from your bosses/jobs. Organize, form unions, and actually use them to get better working conditions instead of just to cover your asses while you play Malpractice: The Game, but as a patient who has only been made sicker and had my quality of life ripped from me by 99 percent of you, stop fucking crying "abuse".

You're half a step from calling it "reverse ableism".

#vent post #anti phys

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Hey! Here’s a little five page comic I did about boot blacking and kink. I had a lot of fun with it, and talked to some really cool people.

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.

[xxlovelynovaxx]

all my advice about using real athletes to learn drawing bodies beyond hard abs, and my particular pref being wrestlers, also applies to women btw. you can draw women who r strong and not an hourglass shape. fucking do it.

kris statlander, rhea ripley (look at her SHAPE), willow nightingale, ruby soho, these r just four off the top of my head that have obvious musculature and different body types. skye blue and julia hart have more slim cheerleader style bodies as well, i REALLY wanted to put emi sakura who is fucking STOUT (adoring) in this post but i couldn't find a good demonstrative pic, the list goes on

DRAW DIFFERENT BODIESSSSSSSS

#ref

[xxlovelynovaxx]

A lot of leftists are half a step away from outright saying "People who can't work are bourgeois."

If you can conceive of "working class" and "owning class", might I note that anyone who is not "owning class" and is unable to find/perform work is dependent on whoever/whatever they can find to support them because of the fact that we live within capitalism, making them infinitely more vulnerable to abuse, including from those who are "working class."

This includes and is not limited to:

Disabled people

Children

The elderly

Single parents who don't have the income for childcare and need to stay home

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Tell me when you get bored. A story about doses. [x]

I posted this on twitter and had a variety of aggressive ableism thrown my way.

This is a story about changing what I can in spite of what I cannot for the comfort of my loved ones. The thing that others find to be hurtful about me is that I like to spend time in silent solitude. People who love me often feel hurt that I tend to solve my own problems instead of leaning on them.

When we spend too much time together, people find my neutrality to be concerning, and it becomes too much for people to be unable to read me.

To show the people I love that I enjoy their company in ways they can understand, I pool my energy together to be high-energy, peppy, and social. Since this is not my natural state of being, it takes effort, which can only be expended in small doses. I amplify the things people like in me while filtering out everything they dislike about me when I am in their company.

I change my behaviors for those I love, but at the end of the day, I cannot change my neutral state of being, which is the thing that they want most out of me.

This is a story about me accommodating people in the best way I know how, not the other way around. I would truly appreciate it if people don't misconstrue this anecdote as me asking for dismissal of hurtful behavior when in reality, people find hurt in the fact that I simply exist, and I must change for them.

[xxlovelynovaxx]

It makes me happy when they listen

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Top-Tier Villain Motivations

They will be safe. It doesn't matter who else or what else burns as long as They will be safe.

I will be safe. The hunger and the cold will never touch me again.

Fuck any bitch who's prettier(/cooler/better-liked/better at making dumplings) than me.

Yes, Master

Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. LOVE ME!

I know the terrible things these so-called "heroes" will do if I don't stop them (<- is absolutely wrong)

I don't want a better future, I want a better past!

No other way to get performance art funded these days

#ref

[xxlovelynovaxx]

People tend to throw out the phrase "extremely specific kinks" as though that inherently implies something transgressive, but in my experience, the overwhelming majority of extremely specific kinks are so innocuous that you could see them in public and not even clock them. For every person who can only get off to having their nipples electrocuted, there are a dozen who are volcanically aroused by seeing their partner wearing one specific pair of socks.

[xxlovelynovaxx]

[xxlovelynovaxx]

my name's cougar but my friends call me mountain lion and my mama calls me puma and today's my first day at big cat high. i'm so nervous i hope they don't realize i'm not panthera >ܫ<

[xxlovelynovaxx]

the phrase ‘this is my first time being alive’ has done wonders for me recently. Yeah, I don’t know how to navigate this situation! It’s brand new to me and I’m learning on the fly, aren’t humans such wonderfully adaptive creatures?

[xxlovelynovaxx]

people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem

[xxlovelynovaxx]

I dislike how clumsy it is to share Twitter threads but here is a portion from a guy I follow (for his trans porn and monster fucking content at that) echoing a sentiment that aces, traumatized people, people with low libido, etc. can fully relate to. The rest is here and it’s absolutely worth the read.

[xxlovelynovaxx]

A list of blog posts on things (mostly trauma related) that I think should be talked about more. Please note that all links are from my personal trauma website. (There are no pop ups or anything like that and it is a safe site to use.)

Advice

Creating and Enforcing Boundaries

Embracing Your Inner Child

Grounding Techniques

How to Listen to Someone Talk About Their Trauma

How to Talk to a Loved One About Your Trauma

Importance of Validating Your Feelings

Making a Self-Care Box

Navigating Sex After Trauma

Navigating Traumaversaries

Tips and Questions for Finding a Therapist

Trauma Around the Holidays

DBT Skills (More coming soon)

Pros & Cons

Urge Surfing

Wise Mind

Informative

Are They Trying to Manipulate Me?

Forgiveness and Healing

Grooming in Adult Relationships

Hypersexuality and Sex Repulsion

Parentification Trauma

Trauma Bonding

Trauma Imposter Syndrome

Triggers

Self-harm

The Validity of Anger in Your Healing Journey

Victim Blaming

Was it Bad Enough?

When a Third Party Is Used to Get Around Your Boundaries

Who You Were Before Trauma

Why Childhood Abuse is Never Your Fault

Why Do I Love and/or Miss My Abuser?

Why People Stay in Abusive Relationships

Why Survivors May Delay Reporting or Don’t Report At All

PS: I am always looking for more ideas of topics that you’d like to hear about. Don’t hesitate to let me know any suggestions or things you’d like to see discussed more. 

#ref