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zigmenthotep · 4 days
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I wish online retailers like Amazon and Etsy had a "Yes, this is a sex thing," box you could click in your search to disable the secret safe search filters.
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zigmenthotep · 5 days
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All you have to do is fake it 'till you make it... into a comfy grave!
*High-fives all the taxidermied corpses of tourists I abducted from Hollywood Boulevard by posing as a budget-priced guide to the stars' homes*
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zigmenthotep · 6 days
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Always remember that there are no rules to fiction. If you want female dragons in your fantasy world to have huge throbbing ovipositors, they can. And the genuineness of portraying an honest artistic vision will always be better than just bottoming to "Tradition" with another Tolkien knockoff.
If there's a voice in your head telling you what dragons can and cannot do or be, slit that bitch's throat. Dragons aren't real, they can be whatever you want them to be.
"Oh but historically..."
STFU. Historically we've taken dozens of unique mythological creatures from different cultures and just shoved them all into a single box marked "Dragon," then taken the least interesting aspects and shoved them together into an overpowered DeviantArt OC and held it up as some kind of fact of fantasy.
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zigmenthotep · 6 days
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I don't know what's worse, that I've reviewed four of the "Cursed Dick" games, or that I wrote one of them.
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me and my friends made a venn diagram explaining what schnasty games are like
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zigmenthotep · 7 days
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By the way, just a periodic reminder that I—and by associated this account—am violently pro-sex work and pro-sex worker, and depending on how broadly you define it could be considered one.
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zigmenthotep · 7 days
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Writing Hack: Introducing some subtle variance like this—or the clamshell e-reader from It Follows—helps establish that your story takes place in a world like ours, but not ours.
imagining a world where askjeeves won out as the most popular search engine so people having arguments online end up saying stuff like "literally just ask jeeves about this, it's not hard"
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zigmenthotep · 8 days
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Fun Fact: The sexiest thing you can do is ask someone* if you can taste their drink, and then kiss them.
*with standing smooch authorization
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zigmenthotep · 9 days
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*Sending my friend pictures of dogs with jobs to encourage her to be productive despite being in puppy headspace like it's a totally normal thing to do*
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zigmenthotep · 10 days
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I've never been more pleased to get an obscure reference.
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zigmenthotep · 14 days
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Just my thoughts on the matter: having Clown Month in July puts it in direct competition with Art Fight. And on top of that, the first week of August is already International Clown Week, so moving to August—when, let's be honest, nothing else is going on—would be a thematically appropriate move... also an extra month to come up with prompts.
hello!!! i was wondering about this today, and, will there be a clown month in 2024 as well? if so, will it be in the summer months as well? ty :3
I do plan on doing Clown Month this summer! Not sure which month yet, maybe july again like last year?
Which would mean that I need to start working on the prompt list... now?! How is it already April, where did the time go?
If anyone has any prompt ideas, or prompts from previous years you'd like to see again, feel free to throw them at me!
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zigmenthotep · 14 days
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I dunno, most of the time it just feels like a way to stretch yourself even thinner with no guarantee of success.
"This person has a secret onlyfans!" "This artist does NSFW commissions!" "This author writes porn on the side!" I cannot begin to tell you how swag and awesome that is.
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zigmenthotep · 14 days
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Okay, serious question: Does Ermac use they/them pronouns?
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We are many, you are one. We will destroy you.
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zigmenthotep · 14 days
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Oh honey, we all are.
FUCK dude i just ate some spicy sausage 🥵 my mouth is BURNIN can someone please reply with some milk
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zigmenthotep · 14 days
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God, the old internet was fucking wild. You young people missed out.
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zigmenthotep · 15 days
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I got out a deck of tarot cards while talking to a friend and she asked if I was going to read her, and without looking up I replied "Oh honey, I don't need cards to read you," and that might be my sassiest comeback ever.
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zigmenthotep · 16 days
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For all the enby doms—or “Dombies” as I just realized should be the colloquial term—I have compiled a list of gender-neutral terms for you sub(s) to call you.
Captain
Boss
Chief
Regional Manager
Heavyweight Champion of the World
Team Leader
社長
Grand Inquisitor
My Liege
Your Grace
Unspeakable One
Sheriff
Senpai
Professor
Omniscient Narrator
As for actually getting a bratty sub to call you boss, senpai, or sheriff... well let me know if you figure out that one.
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zigmenthotep · 16 days
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Oops! All Fresno Nightcrawlers™️
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