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it was you
you
you’re the reason i can’t sleep at night
why i lose my breath the moment you cross my mind
my chest clenches and suffocates me
similar to a pair of hands slowly crushing my throat
seeping the energy of life out of me and blowing it away in the wind
that’s what you do to me
you
the person i adored so unfathomably
the person i loved so dearly
the person i cherished most close to my heart
but no
you weren’t just a person
you were my best friend
you were the girl i would have toppled entire nations for
you
you could ask me to bring you the sun from the sky and i would be set ablaze from fulfilling my mission to you
and who are you now
you’re the reason i can never trust anyone ever again
you’re the reason i can no longer open up to someone
you’re the reason i will choose to walk this earth alone
you
why you
it was you who broke my soul
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i lost everyone
they were never really mine
our friendship was always on borrowed time
i loved everyone
but they didn’t love me the same
and now they’ll forget my name
i miss everyone
the memories sting my eyes
i’ll be alone until i die
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cosmic coincidence.
that was what i tell myself whenever i think of life. whenever i think of the ambiguity of my experiences. people. events. love. friends. every moment that's happened is just cosmic coincidence. there was a chance for it to have never happened at all and yet it did. and i drew the short straw in having consciousness during these cosmic coincidences. some are warm, inviting, comforting. most i've found are cold, hollow, and uncaring.
if our souls are in effect our life bar, we start at some. each dot ticking away at your health. affecting your well-being. affecting your life. affecting how you move. breath. think. feel. bits and pieces are ripped and torn and removed. broken. a long rest doesn't recover. this is an ancient curse. the spell is unbreakable. some find it overbearing and give up. maybe hoping to start anew. most of us trug along. what else is there but to finish the quest, finish the story?
life could be what we make of it. i understood a long time ago that this quest was one i'd be experiencing alone. ripped and tattered. bruised and battered. i move forward. although i'm always thinking of those cosmic coincidences.
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somewhere along the way our paths intertwined
it was a happy little accident
time eroded it and it became unraveled, maybe forever, but certainly sudden
the pain is still lingering, maybe forever, but i know for certain that it was one of my favorite accidents
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One day
When it’s all said and done
The days wasted away with you
Were always the most fun
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you're not even worth my time
but i miss you so much
i just wish you were mine
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