bluezenzennie - Tumblr blog

bluezenzennie · 2 months

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PSA;

my life is in danger ( just kill me at this point )

Fuck every time I come here it's like I'm crying about something ain't it? I'm so sorry. I don't have much to say, only that I need serious help. A more personal matter however. I'll jump straight to the chase.

My mum and my family are being threatened due to borrowing money from loansharks ( something I was not aware of and my mother just came to me in tears of ). My family has been doing poorly financially ( my dad lost his job and with my own and my mother's numerous medical conditions we've had to sacrifice a lot. along with my brother's school fees )

I don't know when they want the money. She refuses to tell me. But I am beyond stressed out. They need R9800 ( $522 ) to leave her alone completely or they are threatening to come to our doorstep.

She doesn't wish to get the police involved because she does not want it to blow out in some way. ( for context, the reason our family is suffering so badly financially is because of a court case involving my dad )

If we can raise any amount to satisfy them it would be great.

Please, if there's anything I've had to beg for it's this. If you want compensation ( such as written pieces like requests or commissions ) I'm willing to do that too

Any amount helps. Even if it's just spare change, if we can accumulate it to the desired amount everything will be okay. Please also share this post.

My Ko-Fi Link ( ko-fi covers all conversions and you don't need an account. you can pay from any bank account or a paypal/stripe)

Writing Commission Prices:

1k - 2k words — $20

2k - 3k words — $32

3k - 4k words — $44

4k - 5k words — $56

5k - 6k words — $70

Commission Info

Anything helps. . . god I feel like I'm begging but I am. Thank you for your time.

Progress Bar

( $494 / $522 )

#urgent #signal boost #donations #fundraising #need help

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bluezenzennie · 3 months

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Like fresh strawberries mixed together with a plethora of raspberries, blackberries, cranberries - along with candyfloss and pomegranate! also also, chocolate covered strawberries

anybody else who wants to join the bandwagon? come with!

it’s been too long that I’ve wanted to start a tag game. here you go !!

tell me what you think prev’s blog tastes like and why. it can be based off theme, vibes, or what they post!!

(also feel free to tag me as many times as you want I want to answer this too!!)

@batshikns @breadsnorter @boeedie @rheeeeeeeesiees @kaiserkisser @rivermist606 @collidew1thesky @kiw-ee @creatorbiaze + open tags, I’m forgetfullll

#˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚|| Starlings : friends || - ⊹˚. ☼

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bluezenzennie · 3 months

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Hi love! I just saw your art on the other blog and wanted to tell you that I'm incredibly impressed by the progress you've made as an artist. Wow! Proud of you, dear, keep being awesome💙

Ah, you're gonna make me cry Kat :,)) I've been focusing a lot on progressing in my art journey as of late and it's been going really well! The characters that I've been drawing are inspiring me to keep going a lot, so I'm happy that you liked it!

I hope to inspire as many people as I possibly can as I grow and improve in my art!!

#˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚|| Starlings : Kat || - ⊹˚. ☼#lovely moots 💕#friends !#it's been a bit since I last was on the blog - I really hope that you are doing well Kat #and that you also remember just how proud so many people are of you ! you've been improving as well and I see it whenever I do come on here #to lurk for a bit. I'm sending so much love and positivity your way whenever you aren't feeling well :')) Sending lots of hugs too!!

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bluezenzennie · 4 months

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇-𝐔𝐏!*˚ .♡⋆ˊˎ -

𓆩♡𓆪 a Valentine's gift for you! Considering the success it had last year, I'm bringing back Valentine's match-ups for 2024 to set you up on a date with one of your favs! 𓆩♡𓆪 (edited rules as I didn't get the same sort of engagement as last year that I had expected)

｡･:*˚:✧｡how does it work?

♡ similar to ships, you send me a description of yourself (sexuality, personality, hobbies, likes/dislikes) and a fandom (or multiple fandoms!) of your choice from the list below. ♡ I'll tell you who would ask you to be their Valentine and why as well as the date they would take you on! ♡ like last year, the event will be run on a "first come, first serve basis" ♡ you can enter by sending your information to my ask box! ♡ please keep in mind that entries are one per person and not one per blog. This is to make it fair.

♡ enter now to receive a Valentine's date!

・❥・꒰ CLOSES 7TH FEB. ꒱ ・❥・꒰ 4 SLOTS LEFT. ꒱

｡･:*˚:✧｡fandom list:

𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍'𝐒 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐃:

✧ I will write for literally anyone

𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋:

✧ Any of the Dimitrescus, Karl Heisenberg, Donna Beneviento, Carlos Oliveira, Jill Valentine

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐖 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐘:

✧ Elliott, Sebastian

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍 𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐓:

✧ Alhaitham, Baizhu, Beidou, Cyno, Dehya, Diluc, Dottore, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Lisa, Neuvillette, Ningguang, Pantalone, Raiden Ei, Scaramouche, Thoma, Tighnari, Xiao, Yae Miko, Zhongli (more will be added as I progress in the game ♡)

𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐍:

✧ Any of the ainur/ elves, Aragorn, Faramir, Haleth

𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐀:

✧ Alucard, Carmilla, Hector, Striga

𝐇𝐎𝐖𝐋'𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄:

✧ Howl

𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐀 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒:

✧ Tomoe

𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐁𝐔𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐑:

✧ Sebastian, Undertaker, Snake, Ash/Angela, Charles Grey

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐒:

✧ Dominique, Johann, Noé, Olivier, Vanitas

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐓:

✧ Sherlock Holmes, William James Moriarty

𝐁𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐆𝐒:

✧ Akiko Yosano, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Golgo. Osamu Dazai, Sigma, Yukichi Fukuzawa

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐋:

✧ Loki

𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍:

✧ Brother Day

𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍:

✧ Aemond Targaryen, Daemon Targaryen

#WRITERS SUPPORTING WRITERS #GIVE KIA SOME SUPPORT Y'ALL

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bluezenzennie · 4 months

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drop this sunflower🌻into the inboxes of the blogs that make you happy! lets spread a little sunshine ☀️

love you so sooooo much my moon 🥺🩷

I love you so so so so so SO so much too, mi sol 🥺 I am so happy to have you with me darling, you mean so much to me. Thank you for being my other braincell and for being just who you are in general darling, you light up the world and leave it behind better 💙🫂💕

#˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚|| frog pond || ⊹˚. ☼#lovely moots 💕

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bluezenzennie · 4 months

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drop this sunflower🌻 into the inboxes of the blogs that make you happy! lets spread a little sunshine ☀

hope you're doing well!

Hi Kat, thank you so much, hon. I'm doing somewhat okay - at least right now, HRWJRJDJ. I'll get back up on the path soon and keep walking without small breaks, baby steps, yea? I hope that you are doing well too and that you're having a good day 🫂💕

#˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚|| frog pond || ⊹˚. ☼#lovely moots 💕

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bluezenzennie · 4 months

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drop this sunflower🌻into the inboxes of the blogs that make you happy! lets spread a little sunshine ☀️

Sillaya, thank you so much 🥹 gid I've missed everyone, I'm still coming back from a pretty bad mental health breach, but I keep remembering just how pleasant it is being here with you guys around. I really hope you're well, hon.

#˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚|| frog pond || ⊹˚. ☼#lovely moots 💕

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bluezenzennie · 4 months

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God this poem is so beautiful,

so, so very beautiful. The single words and sentences - the detailed descriptions brings tears to my eyes. It is beautiful, and I feel squeezes at my heart from the volumes within this poem, of how powerful the message behind it is.

It is to the descriptions of the beauty of all of you. You have the same beauty as the night, mysterious and full of so many different clouds and stars, that truly bring such life to the world and its earth. All your beauty is even more illuminated by the day, and the great clouds that it brings with it. The way you shine in the sun, it makes you look out of this world, and you are. You carry a grace that is so very unique to this world.

I would like to once more mention that I adore all of these descriptions

The descriptions of how people point and mock to how they run when the mocked stand up for themselves, from the detailed descriptions of the complete and utter beauty that you hold and carry with you.

Truly, you are indeed like clouds, delicate and beautiful, and when you need and want to be, you can be an entire thunderstorm. But they too carry beauty and grace do they not? Why it is feared, I will never understand.

You hold power, wisdom and so much strength.

Black people are beautiful and ethereal, and I truly wish more people would open their eyes and see the beauty all of you hold. I see you, and I adore you, and respect you and I share this poem of yours to the world because it needs to see it.

Thank you for this beautiful poem.

Again, us black women are descendants from clouds. Like… can we talk about it more? Ngewo’s soul is imbued within our ethereality.

How our baby hairs reside amongst the surface of our hairlines, outlining the cautious curls of cirrus. How the oppressive heat causes our slicked, ulotrichous buns to melt into undulatus asperatus clouds, ones that we cannot stand. Even some of our patterns resemble pannus with the way our seraphic ringlets of tousled curls drape and tumble down our scalp. Then our nubilous, gloss-imbued lips glint of noctilucence when the orphic maiden of the night accentuate the shine upon the billowy exterior. How our skin—

And our skin, oh our skin, something that is suffused with murky mysteries, charmed a plethora of cloud gazers; ones that gained the audacity to stare, point, giggle, and determine without an ounce of anthropologic consideration. And yet they’ll run when the hue of the clouds are darkened with what they deem as murder or violence. They’ll fear, they’ll flee, they’ll gossip and gulp, but they’ll never in their lives worship what the cumulonimbus clouds, or infamously known as “thunder clouds”.

Thunder clouds? How absurd… Please, respect our titles. It’s cumulonimbus. But it’s “too hard to remember”, right? Thunder clouds are more memorable for your kids, right? Allows them to acknowledge us as malicious, right?

It’s not our fault for having the ineffable passion of a supercell cloud. It’s not our fault for reacting volatilely after they, yes, they, clouded us with blatant illusions and ratchet assumptions. Yet we’re the villains for simply… being on defense? Befitting, it seems.

Tuh, they haven’t even seen the worst.

Pretty black girl, ascend with me, m’kay?

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bluezenzennie · 4 months

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Thank you for everything that you have done for the ainur community and overall Tolkien community here, darling. Thank you for creating such inspiring works and for motivating so many writers and artists to get out and share their works as well, and appreciate the works of others as well as appreciate your work so very dearly.

I, for one, have learned so much from you, and you manage to make entire universes feel so real.

Whether it be in your au's or canonverse content. You have this unexplainable, unique way of bringing universes even more to life than they were before. You simply are magic. 🥹

You have always been enough. Your writing has always been enough. Your work has always been enough, and the things that you create have always been enough. For the things that your hands, your mind, and words create carry such unique grace within them, I really can not put words to. We are all so proud of you for taking this step and for all that you have done.

Watching you grow and realize when things are enough and have been enough for quite some time. Is something that I, for one, feel so much pride about when I look at you. Despite everything, darling, you still got up and said "enough" when enough was and is enough. Whether it was with helping hands uplifting you and carrying you up to the sky or not. For that, I hope you are proud of yourself.

To the people who have been ugly towards Eden: I hope that you manage to find some sort of destiny in your life, other than being a chronically online, self-centered, petty asshole excuse of a pathetic human being. You should be so ashamed of yourself for what you have done and for what you have said to Eden, a LIVING BREATHING HUMAN BEING WITH A SOUL AND EMOTIONS.

A soul that you will not ever get to have the pleasure of experiencing to her fullest extent while she is here because of your bitterness and poison. You should learn to enjoy people as they are here. Especially ones like Eden, because they are an experience. Of a lifetime

Enough of that now.

I think I speak for most of us when I say that we are proud of you, darling. Proud of watching you grow the way you have been growing, and proud of the way you stay strong, even when it gets hard to. We can't wait to watch you grow more. You are such a beautiful and kind person, and if people do not see that, they do not deserve you. 💕🫂

You are gonna create great things darling, things that are gonna change lives, I know you will.

No words will ever be able to describe how honored, happy, and proud I am to be sharing valentine-cafe with you and how proud I am to be working with you the way I am. I look forward to this life with our friendship. You truly mean so much to so many and me, so please don't ever forget that. 🫂🥺💕

˚◞❀˳ a proper farewell

god that title sounds dramatic as fuck so let me just clear things up immediately: no, I'm not leaving tumblr, I will still be very manageable to reach and interact. what I am drifting away from is the tolkien fandom — and since this place, despite my hardships, has meant so much to me - I decided to give it a proper little farewell, to the people who made everything count. along with a little explanation for my decision while shedding light on my experience. ( I'll try to be brief )

I joined the tolkien fandom while writing for thranduil, it's here I gained my following in the fanbase and things went quite smoothly. however, upon beginning to write for mairon, then melkor and then later the ainur — I saw an increase in hate anons. something I have experienced before, natural of a multi fandom blog, but never to this degree. initially I assumed it was because I was simply growing larger as a blog, and perhaps that is the reason — but from what I noticed, I was battling with a bunch of chronically online people who simply could not handle my love for. . . "problematic characters"

I never understood it, really. I never saw other ainur blogs getting the hate I did - I guess I'll truly never know. had I done something? was my writing just not good enough? were my vibes off? over the time I've been called things like two faced, fake, a romanticiser of abuse, lazy for not filing out requests, been told I shouldn't write reader inserts, told to kms and other graphic incidents ( such as people sending death threats and actual gore to my inbox ). this branched from burner accounts to anons, and I could just never understand why me. a quick gander at the #clownon tag and you'll find some of the instances in which I've been harassed.

I genuinely thought my writing was the issue.

which demotivated me from writing for quite some time. could I have turned anon off? sure, but that would have meant that the anons I'd frequently interact with would most likely not come around anymore. it meant a decline in requests, it meant just a crippling factor to my blog in general, so I chose to ignore. but it got hard to eventually. I was bullied for liking a god with big wings just because for crying out loud.

I've tried to fake being okay. fake being strong and unwavering about the hate, but I just couldn't anymore. and that's okay.

it wasn't all tears and hardships though. I have made very good friends through the tolkien fandom, many of which I consider close. from @bluezenzennie to @kiatheinsomniac — @a-contemplation-upon-flowers , @cilil , @someoneinthestars and so so many more. it'd take me forever to tag and honestly my heart is squeezing so much listing these few down already. they made fandom fun, whether it was our silly little play fights or collabs or you name it. those of you that have spent time to tell me about your day on anon or send in the nicest of things. I haven't forgotten them, and I cherish them, but it's time for me to go

am I sad? fucking of course. a part of me found so much comfort here and in these characters. I've spent hours on end developing lore for aus or designing aesthetics for writing — just writing and pumping out content or blogs, everything and anything I could do. and while I don't regret those times - the way I've been treated in response hurts. which is why I've made this decision.

I'm growing as a person too. I'm writing a book now, I've got an oc blog to promote that book that I'm working hard on ( @valentine-cafe ) , things are looking good. does this mean I'm just gonna disappear? of course not. I plan on staying around, getting back into request writing ( for other fandoms ) and still interacting and supporting my tolkien moots and friends. will I be writing or creating content for tolkien? probably not. at least not in the foreseeable future. the characters I once loved and cherished have now been ruined for me. I've been made to feel embarrassed for loving manwe and namo to the degree that I have, and I don't see myself being able to write for ainur without thinking of all the shit I've gotten for doing so.

regardless, I'll be here still. and while I might not be your local valarfucker anymore, I hope to be your rose still 🩷 thank you so much for two and a half years, I love you all dearly

#Now if there are any clownons thinking: “I should bully eden” just know that you're gonna be dealing with many. many angry mutuals -#and friends of hers. me included. I will not be nice :))

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bluezenzennie · 4 months

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Hello, this blog will be made into a poetry blog. I no longer write for any fandoms on here. If you wish to see some of my other writing, go to mine and eden's oc x reader blog @valentine-cafe

thank you! I will also be changing up blog aesthetics, but if old posts are suddenly, mysteriously disappearing, don't question.

#˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚|| frog pond || - ⊹˚. ☼

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bluezenzennie · 4 months

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"I feel time

Looking out my window, watching me dance on the moon.

I'm an angel, I'm an atom, when nobody enters my room." - aurora, dance on the moon.

#aurora

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bluezenzennie · 4 months

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Let's all take a gander at this dumb fuck anon and then appreciate the fact that Eden, like she says, is even KEEPING tolkien content on her blog, and that she even gives you all a goodbye.

If ANYBODY else has anything to say, do it without anon you fucking cowards. How do you sit behind a screen like that and treat a human being, who has done SO MUCH for a community and a fandom and hate on them, for being who they are. You sit and wonder why so many people are leaving this fandom, yet you don't take the time to fucking look around and ask yourselves whether or not you're the problem. Maybe if you had some basic human decency you would still be having Eden as a consistent content creator in the fandom, but you've lost that chance and you know what, thank fuck that you have because none of you deserve her after the massive amounts of bullshit you have thrown her into.

You leave just like that? That's your goodbye?

˚◞❀˳ and this ☝️ is exactly why I'm drifting. for those of you that aren't aware I have been under CONSTANT harassment both on anon and via private messages. I've had death threats, hate towards my writing and general self, actual gore sent to my inbox and even told to kill myself. while being in this fandom I have gained a lot of friends but I've also felt extremely ostracised when it's come to things like this. I owe no one an explanation, I owe no one my time. I wrote and created content on here for free. you, along with every other shitty anon or burn account that has tried to get me down can simply go fuck off. you're lucky I'm still even keeping tolkien content on this blog.

I just fucking got back and this is the farewell I get. fuck off.

#clownon #Leave Eden be all of you

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bluezenzennie · 4 months

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HGNGHN I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH, JUST ALL MY MOOTS WHO SEE THIS AND FRIENDS, I LOVE YOU