butchdanvrs - Tumblr blog

butchdanvrs · 3 years

Text

Today I... Pictured I Was Driving Home To You

rating: Teen & Up

pairings: Carol Danvers/Reader

word count: 1.8k

content/info: alcohol usage, drunkenness, mutual pining, possible unrequited love, fluff, nb friendly <3

Every time you thought you had it. Every time you thought you were good. Every time you thought you could move on and that feelings would fade.

Every thought, every time-you were wrong.

Carol Danvers had you. And she didn’t even fucking know it.

Every time you shared a kiss with someone you wished it was her.

Every time hands landed on your hips or waist; you wished it was her.

Just the sight of her made your heart race and blood pound in your ears.

You had it bad for her-but you already knew that. Really it was more than that.

For what felt like forever, this unknown feeling would twist in your stomach along with stealing your breath away and you didn’t know what the fuck it was... until you did.

You were in love with Carol Danvers.

Hopelessly, stupidly, deeply in love with her.

Your eyes are on her long enough that you’re grabbing another drink-some unassuming and pretty looking cocktail that’ll get you on the way to being fucked up if you have more than one.

After an hour of dancing your clothes are sticking to your skin, and heat washes over every inch of you as you down the cocktail-too consumed in your own mind with thoughts of Carol.

If it wasn’t her eyes, it was her smile; if it wasn’t her smile, it was her voice; if it wasn’t her voice, it was the way she moved and the energy she exuded.

You were so past whipped it was almost fucking pathetic.

And it was-is pathetic. Because Carol Danvers had no interest in you.

You were only ever spared a close-lipped smile, a wave, a polite and friendly hand on your shoulder… nothing else, nothing more.

You ached for more.

You wanted her to look at you. To smile at you-one of those big, bright, wide and cheerful smiles that fucking melted your heart.

You wanted her to touch you, in more than a friendly or polite way. The touch of a lover, filled with intimacy and cherished thoughts and intent.

And you needed her to see you-to see you out on the dance floor, to look at you as being more than a friend.

But for now, you’ll settle with agreeing to dance with a cute stranger-the music flowing through your every movement and keeping you occupied.

So no, you don’t care really, when someone pulls you into them, wordlessly asking for a dance. You just smile and start dancing-not minding much when they get a little too handsy and participate in a little bit of mouth on mouth.

You’re feeling warm and like you’re floating, so yeah, you let a few people kiss your neck-too needful of the person you want the most, but are scared you can’t have in the back of your mind.

The night rolls on quickly and slowly all at once, and as it gets later and later the crowd dissipates.

Then it’s nearly 2 am and she’s still here, and you’ve pathetically counted each time her eyes fall on you-which is easier to see now than in the middle of dancing bodies high on alcohol or pure adrenaline.

By the fourth look you head over to her, head still floating and stumbling a teeny bit.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” She smiles-and you swear it’s different from the ones she usually gives you. Whipped.

As you try to sit on the barstool next to her, your thigh slips and you grip the edge of the bar-your body feels like it’s on fire when Carol touches you; a hand soft and strong on the middle of your back, anchoring you.

“Enjoying yourself?”

Her eyes crinkle a little bit, the corners of her lips twitching upwards like she’s trying not to laugh at you.

The realization of how drunk you’ve gotten sinks deep into you and makes your cheeks burn with embarrassment.

“I… I gotta go home.”

“Where’s your ride?” You shrug absentmindedly, and then scoff once you realize-your ride is gone.

“...I forgot I made a dumb choice and wanted to stay when they said they were leaving.” You groan a bit, cursing the decision.

Even though your body feels loose and light while your mind grows heavy, you’re hyper aware of how close Carol is to you.

You can almost still feel the warmth from her hand when it was on your back.

God, you had it so fucking bad for her.

You’re both silent for a short moment, watching each other, and time feels like it’s stuck, or maybe you feel like you’re stuck-stuck in her reach, stuck in her gaze.

But you break the moment, blinking a few times and looking away as you unnecessarily narrate your actions. “I’mma call a cab or somethin’...”

Her hand falls on your arm as you start reaching for your phone, and it stops you right in your tracks.

“No, come on. It’s 2 am in the city, let me take you home.”

The skin of her hand touches the skin of your arm and you can’t help but shake your head “yes”, watching her with-no doubt-wide eyes as she steps down off the stool.

Time freezes again, and you linger in a moment that you wish could last forever.

Stepping outside is easy, the smell of colognes and perfumes mixed with sticky liquor and sweat is replaced with smells of the city-exhaust fumes and aromas from a Chinese takeout place two blocks down.

The ride to your place is mostly quiet but not uncomfortable, soft tunes playing from the speakers on a low volume along with a comfortable silence was a big relief-after such a loud night with the bass so deep and heavy you could feel it bumping in your chest.

It’s like a cool breeze of air against your skin when your body temperature is rising. Or when you have a drink and it fizzes in your mouth, filling an unsatisfied craving.

Again, time plays a game with you as it seems to skip over itself, because one minute your head is lolling back onto the headrest and next thing you know, you’re walking to your front door-with Carol right beside you.

Your heart flutters at the consideration she shows, helping you get inside because she can tell you’re struggling with the lock on the door… and with taking off your shoes.

A groan of relief as soon as you hit your bed-the small part of your brain that’s not intoxicated cringing at the fact that you’re in your bed… in sweaty and boozy clothes random people grinded up against.

You don’t even realize you’d closed your eyes until you hear footsteps, panic rising quickly in your throat until you remember that Carol was there.

Carol Danvers was in your apartment with you.

Carol. Freaking. Danvers.

Carol Danvers was bringing you a glass of water to drink.

You hate to admit that you grumbled a bit like a child when you were given it, but drank most of the glass anyway because it was refreshing and most definitely needed.

She helps you put the glass on your nightstand to prevent it from falling and the feeling of her fingers against yours makes you feel a little jittery with nerves.

Now you’re wide awake, toes fidgeting under the sheets at the end of your bed as you watch her.

”Carol… can I tell you something?”

She’s listening, you can tell, brown eyes looking into you as if she can read your thoughts like an open book. It almost makes you backtrack-the words never mind it’s not important sitting on the back of your tongue.

“I-… Thank you for taking me home.”

She smiles and your heart aches as you sit up, willing yourself to summon a little confidence, a little bit of bravery.

But Carol’s still looking at you, eyes still searching you while you fidget with your fingers, heart beating a million times a minute when she asks, “Was there something else?”

You nod jerkily, your throat tightening, “I...I love you. I’m in love with you. A-And I have been for a while now.”

Your eyes blink back nervous tears, and there’s only a few milliseconds of silence before you’re talking again-feeling a weight come off of you that pushes you to keep talking until it’s all gone and no longer suffocating you.

“I should’ve told you a long time ago, I know, and ‘m sorry that I’m dumping this on you now but… I just- I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you. I don’t want anyone else. Just you.”

Your eyes are flitting all around her face, nervously trying to read it and gauge her reaction. It’s only ten seconds later but feels like forever, the anticipation and anxiety of the moment of waiting for her response sat in your throat like a thick ball of regret about to manifest itself in tears.

“I’m sorry… I’m drunk, I shouldn’t have said anything, sorry. Just forget I said anything, okay.”

A hand on your shoulder stops you from turning your back to her, making you flinch as you look up at her. You’re still so terribly embarrassed and are dreading her reaction-expecting a negative one.

Instead, she steps closer to you, her head nears yours and your heart leaps a little in your chest at what she does next-her lips planting softly on your cheek in a small and sweet kiss.

You think for a second that you probably hallucinated it, wanting so badly for something to happen that your alcohol-induced brain conjured it up just to trick you.

But you know it was real when you realize her lips linger, and then she leans back, her hand slowly leaving your shoulder to rest on your cheek, her thumb rubbing it almost affectionately as her lips twitch upward, her eyes shining in the dark.

“Hey, tell me again… when you’re sober in the morning.” Her hand slyly moved from your cheek, fingers grabbing your chin softly and letting go of it as you nod somberly.

“Can… Can you stay with me? Please?”

She smiles warmly, an almost tender look on her face that makes your heartbeat a little faster-not able to help the feeling of hope coursing through your veins. Hope blossomed and bloomed in your heart so quickly you felt like you could burst.

“I’m not gonna leave you by yourself, princess. Get some sleep... I’ll still be here when you wake up. Okay?”

You nod softly, whispering a small “okay” in response. On the outside you’re silent and sitting still, but on the inside-the weight on your shoulders is gone and the tension in your muscles loosened in relief.

For the first time, with Carol, you allow yourself to feel hope as you fall down into your pillows, squirming until your sheets are tucked over your shoulders and under your chin-falling asleep comfortably but delighted about what’s to come.

#marvel fanfiction #carol danvers imagine #carol danvers x reader #carol danvers #captain marvel x reader #carol danvers fanfiction #carol danvers fluff #carol danvers fanfic #captain marvel #captain carol danvers

55 notes · View notes