cloudyshatterglass

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Dying from self esteem issues is probably something I should take up with my therapist

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

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Lost a bet

Why are you trans: wrong answer edition. Tell us why you're trans, wrong answers, though :)

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Just doing my part, nothing to see here

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The correct way to get dressed is sock, pant leg, shoe, sock, pant leg, shoe.

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Cloisyshayywdvlass

close your eyes and type your url

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Me, searching for a tumblr username: *Looks out window* It's cloudy.

Me: *Knocks over glass vase* Oh

Me: ...

Me: Oh wait yeah that could work.

Me: I'm a fucking genius.

#tumblr users

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Furthermore, if he ever grew a beard, it would double as his pubes.

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if you’re lgbt tag this with your gender/sexuality and your favourite kind of chips

#Pansexual #Demigirl #SOREY BUT I LIKE ANY KIND OR DORITO #ALL OF THEM #BARBEQUE RANCH ORIGINAL SPICY THERE ALL MY FAVOURITE #Wait I'm a Pan Demigirl- #I'M A PANDEMIC?!

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Paul: Please Emma I said I'm sorry.

Emma: ...

Paul: Please speak to me Emma, I'll do anything

Emma: ...

Paul: Please I'm begging you, anything is better than the silent treatment.

Emma: ....

Emma: 🎵Get your cup of roasted coffee🎵

Paul: NEVERMIND, I TAKE IT BACK. STOP IMMEDIATELY.

#tgwldm #team starkid #starkid #paul tgwdlm #emma tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals

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No offense to the friends of Mara out there but if I was Adora I would've curb stomped Catra until she actually choked on a hair ball of something.

#i don't hate her #in fact i kinda like her #that would not stop me from feeding her to a dog girl or something #she ra #Catra

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The wind tussling the waves below, as you stand shakily on a small rescue boat drifted far out to sea. So far, that you've not the faintest clue as to where you are. After hours of wating, starving, standing and holding on to the small flicker of hope that someone would find you, your legs give way and you suddenly plummet into the ocean blue, cold dark water surrounding you in all sense of the word. You know you wont survive, but you hold out for as long as you can anyway.

You hear a voice suddenly, as the water around you starts to feel suspiciously warmer.

"Annie, are you ok?" It asks. Your name may or may not be Annie, you can't seem to remember, but for now you're more concerned about the voice as it continues. "Annie are you ok? Are you ok Annie?"

You open your eyes and they immediately widen in shock, you almost reflexively inhale but you fight the urge. There he is, Michael Jackson, wearing an atmospheric diving suit. He never died, he's been here the whole time.

He is upset that you've found him, he makes it clear that this meeting is absolutely not a Thriller. He tells you to Beat It.

You want to ask him how he got down here, but your lungs wouldn't be able to handle it. He seems to understand your silent question though, your eyes asking for you, 'Who did this to you?'

He was silent for a while, before answering, "Dirty DiAnna!" He said, or more accurately sang, looking up to the surface, probably deep in the midst of a flashback.

There is so much more you want to know, but you run out of air faster than you thought you would. The last thing you hear before your vision fades to black, is the reminder that Billie Jean is not his lover, and the kid is not his son.

You wake up on land, sweet dry land, knowing you would have to keep the whole experience to yourself. No one would ever believe you.

#Michael Jackson #shitpost #bad jokes #why did i even post this

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Joey Ritcher, looking at the TTO casting list: Umm... it says I'm playing like...half the cast?

Jeff Blim: Yeah.

Joey: I can't do that?

Jeff: Yes the fuck you can.

Joey: Two of these characters literally appear in the same place at the same time?!

Jeff: Now that sounds like a YOU problem.

#trail to oregon #Starkid #team starkid #Joey Ritcher #Jeff Blim #jeff blim #joey richter #incorect quote

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He started playing some fucking Dhar Mann video and I don't know how much more of this I can take.

Ok so I'm waiting in line for the vaccine and some guy just started playing Alvin and the chipmunks reboot on his phone? Like unironically? He has earphones in and I don't think he realized they're not connected, and that this entire section of people can hear Alvin shouting at Theodore for using his skateboard money to by candy.

#Please he's staring so intensely at the screen i think this one's personal

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Ok now he's just going through his phone gallery and playing every video he finds out loud, which leads me to belive that Alvin and the Chipmunks episode was downloaded to his gallery. I'm learning so much about him.

Ok so I'm waiting in line for the vaccine and some guy just started playing Alvin and the chipmunks reboot on his phone? Like unironically? He has earphones in and I don't think he realized they're not connected, and that this entire section of people can hear Alvin shouting at Theodore for using his skateboard money to by candy.

#He's literally playing a jingle bells christmas time cable company advertisement #HE FUCKING STARTED PLAYING ASTRONAUT IN THE OCEAN DEAR GOD #He switched to some Christian song now??? #Now it's some boy band country song and im a little concerned

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Ok so I'm waiting in line for the vaccine and some guy just started playing Alvin and the chipmunks reboot on his phone? Like unironically? He has earphones in and I don't think he realized they're not connected, and that this entire section of people can hear Alvin shouting at Theodore for using his skateboard money to by candy.

#None of the nurses are telling him #i think they like it

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Janus, with a baby Virgil strapped to his chest: Want Three?

Patton, at a store with a baby Roman strapped in a pouch on his chest: You know what’s cuter than one baby?

Patton, spinning around to show the person he’s talking to a baby Remus in a pouch on his back: Two babies!

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The raccoon is actually 3 squirrels in a trench coat, they are : the Green brothers, and Steve

imagine this. i am walking to the grocery store. a racoon bites my nuts off. this is the future the liberals want