Realizing how deep your trauma goes can be an unsettling experience, but finding out is the only way I can unlearn all the wrong things I was taught.
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I’m beginning to wonder if I even actually exist at all…
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Observing my feelings from an objective point of view will prove harder than I ever could have imagined.
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I was told yesterday that I am very good at change. But the thing is, I’m not. I don’t like change at all. But I know if I want anything within myself to change, I have to be willing to do the things that scare me.
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I’ve decided to do what I want to do, not what I think everyone else wants me to do.
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I always have this feeling, this thought, buried deep within me, that I’m suppressing everything unique about myself. That I’m trying so hard to seem…normal. But what even is normal? What’s normal to you is not normal to me, and yet I’m trying so hard to achieve it. It’s exhausting trying to be everyone’s version of normal at all times.
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We’re all just figuring this out as we go
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Inspiration can be hard to come by, but when you find it, hold on and don’t let go. Run with it and see where it can take you.
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If I never express my anger for the things wrongly done to me, can I ever reach true acceptance? I feel like I’ve been stuck in a perma state of dissociation, and somehow managed to trick myself into believing I’ve moved on. But can you truly have moved on if you’ve never held space for your feelings to exist? If you’ve never allowed yourself to actually grieve?
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I’m envious of the people who can react so strongly. The people who have such strong principles and will fight tooth and nail for them. I’m lukewarm at best, unable to voice my opinions or fight for what I feel is right.
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Do the hard things. Do them until they become easy.
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Sometimes, we need to take a step back in order to rediscover ourselves.
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I am the sum of all things done and said to me, so how do I subtract all the things I don’t like?
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Keep showing up for yourself, even, and especially, when it seems too hard.
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Do I have what it takes to move forward? Or should I find a new path instead?
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A lot of life is tricking your brain.
-N.G.
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Maybe I like being a degenerate.
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