dillapidateddenizen

[dillapidateddenizen]

lol i hate today’s era of absolutely zero nuance takes. a friend didn’t behave exactly as you’d wanted them to? cut them off. a guy didn’t text you back instantly bc he has his own life? he’s just giving you breadcrumbs. doing something makes you uncomfortable? don’t do it anymore. someone isn’t instantly available for you? disinterest. just absolutist statements that often don’t apply to the multilayer situations of everyday life. like. stop. literally just stop it

#individualism #capitalism #community #therapy #mad theory #neurodivergence #this is why disability theory and mad theory are so important! #too many people perceive healing and the health professions without a critical eye and then thoughtlessly replicate the same arguments that #caused the suffering in the first place #i am neurodivergent but i wouldnt say it is something wrong with me #i think it is the expectations and structures of society that took my natural obsessive tendencies and made them disabling #this type of therapyspeak just further emphasizes hyper individualism instead of legitimately analyzing and healing from that baseline #i think this is also why so many leftist americans overvalue buddhism and animism whithout fully understanding said religions #the baseline perspective of interconnectivity is healing from hyperindividualism without you having to be educated on the full scope of the #culture/religion you are borrowing from #We need nuance and we need community!

[dillapidateddenizen]

thinking about kim with a high half light stat, but even higher volition. man who needed the survival instinct boost early in life, changed priorities/skill build as he matured and valued self control, but wtf does he do with all the points in this other skill now.

tfw ttrpg problems when you're like man why tf didn't i spec these points elsewhere, and now u can't get them back and it's messing with yr build progression :/ tfw metaphor for trauma and the way our experiences irrevocably shape us.

#disco elysium #neurodivergence #trauma #game mechanics #kim kitsuragi #half light and volition my beloveds

[dillapidateddenizen]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#unfortunately relatable #neurodivergence #people pleaser #perfectionism #hidden rules #bullying

[dillapidateddenizen]

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

#death mention #food mention #obsessed with exchanges like this lol

[dillapidateddenizen]

“Dogs don’t know what they look like. Dogs don’t even know what size they are. No doubt it’s our fault, for breeding them into such weird shapes and sizes. My brother’s dachshund, standing tall at eight inches, would attack a Great Dane in the full conviction that she could tear it apart. When a little dog is assaulting its ankles the big dog often stands there looking confused — “Should I eat it? Will it eat me? I am bigger than it, aren’t I?” But then the Great Dane will come and try to sit in your lap and mash you flat, under the impression that it is a Peke-a-poo… Cats know exactly where they begin and end. When they walk slowly out the door that you are holding open for them, and pause, leaving their tail just an inch or two inside the door, they know it. They know you have to keep holding the door open. That is why their tail is there. It is a cat’s way of maintaining a relationship. Housecats know that they are small, and that it matters. When a cat meets a threatening dog and can’t make either a horizontal or a vertical escape, it’ll suddenly triple its size, inflating itself into a sort of weird fur blowfish, and it may work, because the dog gets confused again — “I thought that was a cat. Aren’t I bigger than cats? Will it eat me?” … A lot of us humans are like dogs: we really don’t know what size we are, how we’re shaped, what we look like. The most extreme example of this ignorance must be the people who design the seats on airplanes. At the other extreme, the people who have the most accurate, vivid sense of their own appearance may be dancers. What dancers look like is, after all, what they do.”

— Ursula Le Guin, in The Wave in the Mind (via fortooate)

#ursula k. le guin #she always gets it

[dillapidateddenizen]

Finally, I have waited long, but it is here.... DNDads yuri my beloved ❤

#dndads #s3e1 dndads #season 3 dndads #dungeons and daddies #trudy trout #kelsey grammar (not that one) #krabapple pie #trusey #grout? #talking fish? #idk their ship name lol

[dillapidateddenizen]

doodling some kim bases bc i wanted to dress them up like a little doll (and for also for a different fightful art reason wink wonk) and well

#image described #image id #kim kitsuragi #disco elysium #disco elysium role swap #genderbend #HOT

[dillapidateddenizen]

Wizard Fact #42: The real reason you're not supposed to stick a fork into your toaster is because you might stab one of the wizards in there

#wizard posting #dont stick anything metal in your toaster! the wizards hate it!!! #unreality

[dillapidateddenizen]

I know you said no pets but would it be ok if i brought a flaming skull

#unreality #flaming skull #<- tag for when i talk about flaming skull

[dillapidateddenizen]

#image described #image id #neurodivergence

[dillapidateddenizen]

Bro, you ok? Bro, humans aren’t separate from the ecosystems around us. We’re a part of them, bro. Bro, we’re never going to have absolutely zero effect on ecosystems, because we live here, bro. Bro, I never said it had to be a bad effect. We don’t have to immediately be perfect either, bro, sometimes doing what you can is what you can, and its way better than nothing. Bro what do you mean humans are a plague. You’re starting to sound a bit like an ecofascist, bro… Bro?

#constantly thinking about this #y'all should listen to more indigenous scholars if you are struggling with this #maybe engage with some animists #or read up on evolution and recognize yourself in our cousins #the universe is inherently connected with itself #we are part of nature; it is in us #humanity dies not need to die for our family to survive #we have coexisted for millennia and will continue to do so #nature and humanity is not a dichotomy; it is a group and sub group #im begging you to please engage with the world around you! see how our animal friends steward the land #see how we are the same and different! #just because we are different from our cousins doesnt mean we're separate from them #environmentalism #nature #ecofascism

[dillapidateddenizen]

nothing makes me go "ooooh we are NOT the same" quite like reading some post about how people talk with their parents about their interests. what do you mean you told your father about stevebucky. what do you mean he asked further questions

#genuinely baffled everytime #how are you so confident in your interests #why would your parents care #nothing would be so mortifying to me as talking to my parents about what im interested in #to lay yourself bare before your parents and it be nothing is alien #my parents will only know me post death and even then their knowledge will be limited or skewed

[dillapidateddenizen]

sorry she's in the brain

#disco elysium #genderbend #harry du bois #harrier du bois #kim kitsuragi #trilateral scheme is hilarious #but also #UNDERCUT ON BUTCH KIM OHMG OHMYGOS OHMYGKS HOLY SHIT FUCK

[dillapidateddenizen]

𝓘 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓬𝓪𝓹𝓲𝓽𝓪𝓵 𝓛 𝓲𝓼 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓫𝓪𝓫𝓵𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓯𝓾𝓷 𝓽𝓸 𝔀𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮, 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓵𝓸𝔀𝓮𝓻𝓬𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓺 𝓲𝓼 𝓪𝓵𝓼𝓸 𝓪 𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻.

Cursive Letters [Explained]

Transcript

[A graph with 10 ticks on both the X and Y axes. The graph contains cursive uppercase and lowercase Latin letters. X axis is labeled "Looks cool" with an arrow pointing right and Y axis is labeled "Easy to tell what letter it's supposed to be" with an arrow pointing upward. From top to bottom, left to right, the letters are: C, B, P, K, d, X, R; M, N, c, O, x, t, y, L; D, W, a, Y, o, i; H; A, b, j; p, h; w, Q; m, u, k, g; E, I, l, q; f, J; U, V, T, e; n; v, F; G; r, S, s, z, Z.]

[The alt-text is written in cursive characters.] Alt-Text: I think capital L is probably the most fun to write, though lowercase q is also a strong contender.

#xkcd #cursive letters #image described #image id #this is the most correct a person could be #xkcd you understand me

[dillapidateddenizen]

legitimately why is the hobocop ending so cinematic and awful

#death #hobocop #homelessness #houselessness #disco elysium #harry du bois #harrier du bois #kim kitsuragi #this ending is so meaningful honestly #harry was radicalized by the trash and he dies in it the very same day #it highlights the cruelty of capital but also the importance of accepting help #harry doeant have to sleep in that dumpster #kim offers to sell his spinners for you #people give you money when you ask #but harry isnt willing to accept that help #he is hobocop and hia own self image of him being trash and being unwilling to lean on others kills him #you cant eat pride #but its also called mutual aid for a reason #you are a part of it and should take advantage of the help people want to give you #kim being preaent matters here #he knows that you sleeping in the trash is bad #but kim is all about respect #he reapecta your choice to take risks deapitw the fact that it mighr kill you #he understanda the need for control and for that respect #its something hes been denied his whole life #if harry wants to sleep in the trash deapite the help offered kim will let him because the disrespect of forcing harry is too great a sin #(i also want to acknowledge that you still have options even if harry is not aober in your run. kim will give you the #spinners. joyce will give you cash. lorry drivers and stashed money are available. you can sell all the things you own #the hobocop fate is avoidable only if you reach out to others regardless of the circumstances #an excellent indictment of capital and a hopeful push for community and mutual aid)

[dillapidateddenizen]

Qntm, as always, did an amazing short story with this exact concept exploring the horror of uploading a brain.

Can someone explain to me why the idea of "uploading your consciousness into a machine" is so popular???

Like... you know that the machine isn't YOU, right?

It's like. You know the ship of theseus? It doesn't really matter which boat is the REAL boat. The truth of the boat lives in the crew, not the wood

So like... You're still gonna die. There's just gonna be a thing that your loved ones can talk to when you're gone.

Worst case scenario your grieving family goes into debt paying a subscription fee to maintain denial and prolong the natural grieving process to pretend you aren't while the ghost of your voice reminds them how much you loved to buy Pepsi Cola Brand Soft Drink

Best case scenario you've made a brick that IS sentient, that THINKS it's you

Like

Why would you do that

#Suicide mention #death #horror #brain upload #science fiction #sff #i highly recommend reading qntm's other writing as well #it's all excellent!

[dillapidateddenizen]

sorry she's in the brain

#disco elysium #genderbend #harry du bois #harrier du bois #kim kitsuragi #everyday i am thinking about butch lesbian kim and failgirl harry