dizzdain

[dizzdain]

No one will love you as much as I did, and now everyone seems to love me more than you ever did, so what's the point?

#bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd vent #trauma dump #trauma dumping #trauma #venting #vent post #tw vent

[dizzdain]

Zior Park - BYE BYE BYE 

Everybody is leaving I can feel nothing This room is empty Why are you still here? Are you coming with me? Are you leaving like all of them?

Everybody is laughing I can hear nothing Your words are empty Why are you still here? Are you coming with me? Are you leaving like all of them? Like them

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye

Can you be my friend, not a fan Girl, can you stay when I'm in pain Honestly, I'm numb and dumb, you see? You can leave whenever you want

Girl, can you prove your loyalty I'm just checking If you're the same like them, I'd say again Bye bye bye bye bye bye

My dad once told me, "trust nobody, Be a fisherman, keep your net hidden You'll be fine if you have the bait Nothing's free, you always need to pay

Use them all, don't be friends with them son Use your brain, do not follow your heart" I thought he was a cold blooded dude But now I get why he said all that

Everybody is leaving I can feel nothing This room is empty Why are you still here? Are you coming with me? Are you leaving like all of them?

Everybody is laughing I can hear nothing Your words are empty Why are you still here? Are you coming with me Are you leaving like all of them? Like them

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye

All my sacrifices, do you think that they know this? All my favors and blood, do you think it was worth it? I felt like a tool for them, Lord he might get it 'Cause he's the only friend who knows my secret

Hello, are you listening? I know, don't look at me like that Look around, now you are the only person I can talk to I have another meeting with the devil here after you (after you)

Prove me that you're better than him I hope you get a solution for this circumstance Truly, I want you to stay here

Everybody is leaving I can feel nothing This room is empty Why are you still here? Are you coming with me? Are you leaving like all of them?

Everybody is laughing I can hear nothing Your words are empty Why are you still here? Are you coming with me Are you leaving like all of them? Like them

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Trying to disconnect from all these hypocrite cartels

Keep me awake in this system One eyed asleep, to keep distance Masked up they all so attractive Friends and enemies all look the same

Just like all these flaws covered up in tattoos Cover up there thoughts hiding all of there truth The sunday smiling faces eating up my value Oh, I am to scared to go to church

God how am I supposed to love my neighbours When they all just bunch of mannequins trying to cage my soul

Everybody is leaving I can feel nothing This room is empty Why are you still here? Are you coming with me? Are you leaving like all of them?

Everybody is laughing I can hear nothing Your words are empty Why are you still here? Are you coming with me Are you leaving like all of them? Like them

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye

[dizzdain]

It's funny how I built a totally imaginary person based on a real person that I know, and on top of that, I fell in love with that delusion. I can't even recall ten nice things he has done for me, and if I could, it would be because my bar is so low. Besides, the bad things still drag the good things by miles. He doesn't even treat me nicely like one of his friends; he treats his friends much better than me. Yet, I'm still here, begging him for attention.

Why am I so stupid? Why do I feel like I can't move on? Time will heal me, and I know that, but I easily get carried away, and I can't think straight. Consequently, I end up begging him for one more chance.

Why am I so obsessed with this person whom I barely know? Deep down, I know I love what could be—I love the idea of him, I love the way he could treat me, the way I built him in my mind. However, he rejects me, and because of that, I become even more clingy.

#bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd vent

[dizzdain]

On a romantic level, I don't love you, but in a romantic way, I don't love anyone. Actually, I don't feel like I can connect with people.

I just want to be loved by anyone, and I think this can only happen if they are attracted to me. However, this doesn't make people get closer to me or need me at all; it just makes me clingy—clingy with people who I don't feel like dating. I want you yearning to date me, but I don't want to date you, yet I keep chasing you, trying hard to make you fall in love.

You are not my ideal or dream boy. Why am I doing all of this? For what? I don't want you to be the father of my kids. To be honest, you'd be a terrible parent. I don't even know if I want kids. I just really want you to plead for me to give you another chance, and I would give one and another one, and others more because I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be single. I need you, but don't worry, I don't need you to stay by my side all of your life—just enough until another person comes my way. If he or she is better, they can stay with me and finally leave you because, as I said, I don't love you romantically. I just want you.

#aromantic #aroace #bpd thoughts #bpd #bpd vent