doubleappled

[doubleappled]

REPEAT: HE IS STILL IN THE FREEZER

And clearly still dissociating so hard, based on that expression.

(Why 3:10? WHAT DOES IT MEAN)

This made my head explode. No Ayo. No Ebon. No WORDS. Just pretty camera go zoom? SERIOUSLY THAT’S IT?

Teaser!!!!!!

Oh so we are really going to be inside his head this season!

I am gonna pass out

They didn’t need to do us like that with his eyes

The blue light??!!!! Hello???? He still in the freezer guys, he is still in the freezer

#the bear #the bear teaser #I need some safety socks #this feels PROFOUNDLY unsafe #June 27 here we come

[doubleappled]

CARMY NEVER WANTED TO CREATE A MENU WITH SYD.

AND WHY THAT IS THE CORE THEME OF THE SHOW

PART 1: THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIEVES

So, one of the bases of creating an efficient character arc is to give the character something they want, and something they need. In the pursuit of getting what they want, the theme of the show and obstacles will show them what they need. Most of the time, they need healing from an emotional wound that prevents them from growing into the ultimate version of themselves, capable of winning the challenges of the story. I will try to explore Carmy's wound and, more importantly, the lie that created that wound.

In 'The negative trait thesaurus" by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi, it reads:

"Wounds are often kept secret from others because embedded within them is the lie-an untruth that the character believes about himself."

When I started therapy (disclaimer: this is not professional advice; I am just talking from how I interpreted all of this), I was introduced to the concept of "limiting beliefs:" lies we have told ourselves about our own nature or the nature of the world. The most difficult beliefs to leave behind are those established in our early childhoods, and we told ourselves those lies to make sense of the world, to make peace with realities we were not equipped to comprehend yet. 

Some examples of lies people belive:

"I am too stupid to learn anything; my teacher said so" "It was my fault that I was molested." "I am a bad person for wanting a different life."

When people believe these lies, they will act accordingly, maybe attracting situations that hurt them but keeping the lie active in their lives. They may self-sabotage or create bonds with people who also believe the lie, even if it doesn't seem this way. 

In some cases, people may develop complete personalities or behaviors to prove the lie wrong, but deep down, they still believe in the lie. Carmy falls into this last category. This is where we find the most contradictory parts of his personality, how he can act shy and insecure in some instances and appear confident and even aggressive in others. 

Long post underneath.

THE RESENT OF A MOTHER:

We can only assume here because I think Storer is gonna let us know more about this soon, but I think I got an idea of this wound when I saw the only moment Carmy was alone with Donna on "Fishes."

I have a lot of things to say about Donna herself, but let's begin with the obvious: the conversation in this scene had little to do with the dinner itself. This was a woman stating that she felt alone and not valued, probably due to being abandoned by her husband and having to overwork herself at the beef to support her 3 kids, all while being a single mother. We don't know if this feeling of abandonment is something she has carried since childhood, but in the state of current womanhood, it wouldn't be uncommon. The work of women (especially mothers), particularly the emotional labor, is rather invisible and not valued at all.

But again, this is something she has used as fuel to resent her kids, who, at the end of the day, didn't ask to be here. Her anger has to go somewhere since she cannot direct it toward the people that ctually caused it. To get to the point:

THE BEARZATTO SYBLING DYNAMIC

Carmy said, "You are not alone; I am here with you." (This kind of comes back to telling Syd she was not alone at the end of the season.) This scene is about a kid trying to communicate to his mother that he loves her and trying desperately to connect with her, to get her to express her affection for him as well.

It tells me that growing up, he felt like he had to "earn" her affection. Donna likes to make her kids feel guilty about her unhappiness, so the kids feel that they are constantly walking on shells because they think their mother hates them, or at least that she resents them and that it is their responsibility to fix it.

In the scene, Carmy asked,

"What is so hard, Mom?"

I think what he was actually asking is, "What is so hard about being with us, to love us? What did we do to you that made you resent us this way?" He is asking because he wants to know, to finally understand. Why do you drink, Mom? Why do you yell? Why do you say such hurtful things?

When she answers, "Nobody makes things beautiful for me," you can see in his face the disconnection. He knows he can't do anything about that.

Then, a crucial part in the scene occurs when Donna calls him "Michael, " which indicates that the only one of her children who could make her feel happy was Michael, or at least that is how the other two kids felt. You can see the hurt in Carmy's eyes in the scene because this answer dismisses his effort to connect to his mother in his own right. She asks him to just leave. He offers to wait to connect with her. Then, it comes to the most chilling moment on the scene, the "we have a problem" using his full name, with resentment in every word. She hugs him while crying, kisses him, and then slaps him.

This is rejection. There is a book called "The Five Wounds of the Soul": wich are Rejection, Abandonment, Humiliation, Betrayal, and Injustice. I think Carmy's wound is rejection, for never earning his mother's love, particularly comparing himself to Michael.

Michael took responsibility for the Beef, finally giving their mom a break. It was Michael's job to make sure everyone was having a good time, to compensate for the discomfort that caused being in Donna's presence, to make sure all of them stayed as a family, which was Donna's intention, so Michael thought he had to make that happen for her. Therefore, Michael is the only one of her kids who succeeds and makes her happy. We know Donna rejects Natalie and Carmy. About Natalie, we can write another whole essay.

THE LIE THAT CARMY BELIVES

According to this scene, I think Carmy thinks that her mother didn't love him because he is not Michael; in fact, he is the most "not like Michael" someone could be. He was shy and stuttered and didn't have friends or girlfriends, comparable to Michael's ability to control every room he was in. Carmy was sensible and no macho alfa as Michael presented himself to be. Carmy left home and the family business, and both Michael and Donna expressed that they feel like he thinks he is better than them. Michael admitted later to admiring Carmy's work in Copenhagen, but Donna never did. carmy grew up having to live with the crumbles of Donna's attention that Michael left behind, wondering every day what was so wrong with him that made her reject him, and wondering what he could do to change that.

The lie that Carmy belives, could be sumarize this way:

I need to earn people's love. I need to always go the extra mile, doing the most possible at all times to earn people's love.

This all goes back to his trauma with Michael. It goes back to his career as a chef and how he became the best. He didn't need to succeed on a larger scale in the culinary industry to earn Michael's respect and love; he needed to be the best in the world, so he did that. He judges his own social abilities, comparing them to Miachae's. He left that promising career only because of Michae's death. He got the girlfriend Michael wanted for him (not saying it was the only reason, but it was there).

PART 2: WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS HAD TO DO WITH SYDNEY?

Well, what does a person who feels they always need to do the most? They do the most. I want to bring you back to the moments Carmy had to develop menu ideas with Syd on s1 and s2.

When Syd suggested items for the menu in s1, he gave her an inconclusive, not enthusiastic "maybe."

When she had to actually cook the thing for him to approve, he tried to make her feel small about it. He felt the need to remind her that she was "impatient and green," according to her previous bosses. He commented about her possibly ruining the flow by using time to cook her recipe. Yikes all around, but the core here is that he was treating her like an enemy, like competition, while she was trying to save the restaurant with what they had on hand to use the most efficient solution.

Then, when Carmy tries the dish and feels stunned by it, he has to make an ambiguous excuse on the fly and just finishes every chance of them using the recipe by saying, "is not ready yet"

And what does he do next? He goes to show the crew a recipe that is extremely complicated for the level they are operating at currently—they said so themselves. I think the recipe is a variation of Donna's butter chicken recipe. To put a nail on that coffin of his intentions to earn her love and approval at the end of it all.

But why does he do all this? Because he needs to be the hero, subconsciously, he is still that small kid begging for acceptance and love; he must go the extra mile. He cannot accept Sydney's help and partnership, because that will take away from him earning what he wants on his own merit.

In S2, he seems unenthusiastic about starting the menu in the first place. Then Claire comes along, and he tries to make it work with Syd and the menu, but I think he subconsciously thanks the universe for not having to go to his core wound. That is what self-sabotage is. That is why he bailed on the food tour with Syd, using such a stupid excuse as helping somebody else move out and never mentioning it again. He never asked her what she liked or what ideas she thought of. For most of the creative process, Syd is alone, working on her own creative crisis. The menu ends up being like two recipes they made in collaboration and then all of his family's traditional recipes. It is two of Syd's recipes and the rest of Carmy's. Then, desserts Marcus did on his own. The collaboration was superficial at best.

All of this creates the core theme of the show. The Bear was once a chaotic place (like their childhood home) that needs to evolve into an efficient, peaceful place built on love, support, and mutual collaboration like a functional family should be. Sydney is the member of this found family that forces Carmy to confront his core wound and learn he can actually be good enough while still accepting help. Therapy probably will play an important part in this theme, alongside with Carmy learning there was nothing wrong with him in the first place, that earning your parent's love is not something a kid can do.

Thankyou for reading. Gif and images are not mine.

#the bear meta #sydcarmy #this is insightful as hell and makes me so scared for s3

[doubleappled]

All of these are fantastic but this one is just 🤩 😘 🤌

https://www.tumblr.com/ellies-enrichment/749756689028382720/the-bear-text-posts

#the bear #thank you op #this has given my life meaning #some might even say purpose #we’re not gonna drop that ass

[doubleappled]

Folx, when I say I am OVER THE MOON for this fic… @sashafiercest nailed the ending to the WALL. Like, the wall itself will never be the same.

For weeks and weeks, I read along in her draft, and I loved literally every moment of it. I’d save it for myself like a treat, and allow myself to open her Google doc only after I’d done x or y, and reward myself with little bits and pieces of it as the day went on. It was such a privilege to see this fic being constructed brick by brick, with so much love and care and attention. Her Syd especially is so funny, whip-smart, incredibly realistic… I don’t even have the words. Just go read it.

And in case you were wondering… yeah, the thoughts pretty much just come out of her brain exactly (brilliantly) as-is and it is just a pure delight to behold.

IT'S OVER BITCH

#the bear #the bear fic recs #the bear is a love story #sydcarmy #the bear fic

[doubleappled]

I know "60s housewives who invented slash fanfiction" has taken on a life of its own as a phrase, but Kirk/Spock didn't really exist until the 70s and THOSE WOMEN HAD JOBS. They were teachers and librarians and bookkeepers and scientists and they damn well spent their own money going to conventions, printing zines, buying fanart and making fandom happen. Put some respect on their names.

[doubleappled]

This is what I crave in s3. More more MORE of this. Each precisely calibrated response, so understated, true to character, no drama, just pitch perfect.

I don’t know how they can film and edit this show in this kind of timeframe (we’re less than 8 weeks out and the actors are all going to Cubs games by day and screaming at each other in public parks by night?) but Storer, I hope you’re somewhere being brilliant tonight, and I hope the moon is smiling down upon you 🌖

The Bear 2.08 “Bolognese”

#the bear #the bear season 3

[doubleappled]

manifesting them kissing each other on the mouths

#not a spoiler but I wish it was

[doubleappled]

👀

ANOTHER ONE! Bear S3 Spoiler

It’s official, Claire is back! In the video, Claire and Carmy are shouting…Carmy is heard screaming “I’m sorry.”

As Claire is heard shouting, does this mean we will see a big character development? Will Carmy be able to be honest with her? Are they getting back together? Why are they shouting? Why is Richie’s messy ass there? Does Claire confront Carmy about his feelings for Sydney? I have so many questions and I can’t wait for s3.

#the bear season 3 #trying not to put spoilers in the tags #this maybe wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for #but I can’t wait to watch it

[doubleappled]

We’re the same, you and I! Hang in there for sure, sixteen year olds. The world needs you.

sometimes the best fanfics are written by middle aged adults with years of writing experience who simply know how to craft a good story. but also sometimes the best fanfics are written by a sixteen year old girl with something deeply wrong with her

[doubleappled]

Every time I see my name on a rec list like this, especially in such amazing company, my heart skips a beat. Thank you, @sitp-recs!! 💛

hey!

do you have any recs for underrated fics, say fics with less than 50 comments (this is just a number i pulled out of thin air, actual number doesn’t matter).

i feel like i’ve read most drarry fics with more than 100 comments.

bonus points if draco is still a bit of a dickhead and doesn’t included them as auror partners!

thank you!

Hi anon! I definitely got some recs for you, my heart belongs to hidden gems ❤️ I tried to focus on your preferences otherwise this list would get too long bc I got some Auror fics that would be a good fit lol I hope you enjoy these!

Between Two Fires of Beltane by secretsalex (E, 5k)

push and pull you down by M0stlyVoid (E, 5k)

Harmony (Left-Handed Melody Remix) by mindabbles (M, 6k)

Heart to Hearth by @jtimu (E, 7k)

Service Bell by @shiftylinguini (E, 8k)

The Page Eleven Wars by fireflavored (E, 8.5k)

Saltwater Stain by @the-starryknight (M, 9k)

Clear As Mud by scoradh (M, 10k)

The Taste of Magic by @romaine2424 (M, 10k)

Nothing Left to Burn series by @skeptiquewrites (E, 10k)

draco malfoy's substitute murder service by @oknowkiss (E, 10k)

Kissed by @potteresque-ire (M, 12k)

The Year of Non-Magical Thinking by whiskyandwildflowers (E, 13k)

Voices From The Fog by noeon (E, 13k)

With Hands Full of Dusk by @corvuscrowned (E, 15k)

The Years That Walk Between by Femme (E, 15k) - past Draco/Snape

Harry Potter and the Werewolf Consultant by 0idontknow0 (E, 15k)

Turn and Face the Strange (time may change me) by @punk-rock-yuppie (T, 16k)

A Truth Universally Acknowledged by @sorrybutblog (M, 19k)

Poor Unfortunate Souls by @doubleappled (E, 19k)

Unfinished Business by cupiscent (E, 20k)

We Might Be Too Old for a Bildungsroman by calrissian18 (T, 21k)

Let's Go Outside by cryptonym (E, 24k)

The Good Guys by Frayach (E, 26k)

Stain of Silence by brummell (E, 28k)

Sun Thief by BlackRose532, @floydig (E, 28k)

War Wounds by SilentAuror (E, 30k)

In Dreams by @moonflower-rose (E, 38k)

Unseen by RenVeree (T, 47k)

Truth to Materials by lately, @toomuchplor (E, 54k)

Reparo by Amalin (E, 85k)

#drarry reclist #fic recs

[doubleappled]

Hashtag every fic I’ve ever written and every fic I want to read

#I mean this is really very nearly true #if not sobbing at least laid verrrrrry low my friends

[doubleappled]

i think its beautiful that fanfiction was built upon 3 core principles:

do whatever you want forever

this is bad but what if it was good

they should kiss

#delightful

[doubleappled]

THE SIMPSONS parodies THE BEAR

bonus: Mayo Edebiri

#I didn’t realize this was real til I watched it #mayo edebiri #amazing

[doubleappled]

Beautiful reflection from a beautiful person. 💛

I was inspired by @lettersbyelise, who just shared their fandom anniversary.

I've had a very interesting journey in fandom over the past 8 years or so.

Teen Wolf's Sterek was my first ship and I became an avid reader, churning my way through an incredibly vast and beautiful ocean of stories. I didn't have any comprehension of the writers behind the stories.

When I became obsessed with Game of Thrones and Jondry I dipped my toes into writing for a fandom that had a tiny handful of stories. I met my first fandom friend and supporter, @owlsinathens and rediscovered my creativity.

I found beautiful stories to tell and a huge community of support, fests, betas and more in Drarry. I met @doubleappled, @tackytigerfic, @coriesocks, @diligent-thunder, Elise and so many more incredible people.

I escaped from hard things in my life. I explored things about my own hopes and dreams, strengths and weaknesses.

And now I'm at the stage where I'm letting that huge part of my life which fandom occupied, slowly slip away.

I've been orphaning my works bit by bit over the last year. Reflecting on them and thanking them for the things they helped me with when I need them to.

I'm releasing them back into fandom as a gift to those who remain to do with as you will.

The few I have left are the most special to me, but I'll let them go soon too.

Before I finish I'm going to complete At the End of All Things. And I'd love to commission a hard copy of Freedom to Be to accompany the beautiful copies I have of Dreaming Darkly and Who We Are in the Shadows.

Thank you to all of you out there and the incredible place we all create together to do something truly special.

xo

Q

#fandom thoughts #qsm you are a treasure #to quote wicked… #because I knew you #I have been changed for good

[doubleappled]

[doubleappled]

Whaaaat is happening!! Thank you for this incredibly sweet rec, op, and for giving this fic some love. Thank you thank you!!! 💛

Title: The Five Trials Author: DoubleApple | @doubleappled Pairing: Draco/Harry (background Ron/Hermione, background Lucius/Narcissa) Rating: Explicit Length: 11.7k Genre/Content: Harry POV, Post-Hogwarts, EWE, Humour, Courting Ritual Warnings: None Summary: Harry’s willing to go to great lengths for the chance to date Draco — even when those lengths come in the form of an 11th-century courtship ritual. Even when he’s pretty sure he’d rather die (again) than dance in public.

What I enjoyed: Harry is an absolute disaster. Hermione helps him find a courtship ritual so that he can ask Draco out properly, and the five trials he goes through are absolutely hilarious and mounted with embarrassment. So many times as I was reading this, I was saying under my breath, ‘oh no, Harry!!!!’ while laughing. Draco says this entire process is for the purpose of his parents, so that they can know Harry is a serious suitor, and there’s a scene where Narcissa and Lucius are watching the display put on. As soon as it mentioned they were in the audience, I was just like, ‘oh! This can somehow get even worse for Harry!’ Narcissa hugs Harry afterward while Lucius Steams and Judges from a distance, but Harry kills him with kindness. I like that kind of interaction between them. All in all, the fic is really sweet. Harry bumbling his way through such torture for Draco makes it clear how much he wants the guy. Draco enjoys himself through it all, whether it’s because he’s touched by Harry’s actions or laughing his head off. They have a fight toward the end because Harry’s hit his limit, but this segues pretty quickly into some steamy sex with an open promise that they will have much more. It’s great.

Read it here!

#drarry #drarry fic rec

[doubleappled]

carmy’s monologue from season one of the bear

#the bear #carmy berzatto #incredible to read the words written out like this #the stutters on the Is #the pacing #the ellipses #the ums and uhs #oof this scene is so damn good