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Thought Dump #1

I'm either on the brink of death or a break through, a rebirth into something new. I'm either already dead or I am about to be born. I exist right on the paradoxical line between life and death. What separates them but a breath? How do we know that every night we fall asleep we die and rise anew the next morning as a completely different person? How do we know? How do we know anything? The only thing that is absolutely clear is that we are here and at some point, maybe in 50 years, maybe in 2, maybe in the next hour or minute, we will die. But we don't know when. The only constant is that we are here and we are aware that we are here. And we don't know what to do with that. We didn't choose to be here, we just showed up. And we don't know where we are going just as much we don't know where we came from. In the time between birth and death, the only thing we know for certain is that we are here. Why? Well, see that's another thing altogether. There are many questions, and some answers. Are any of them satisfactory? We spend the time in between birth and death trying to figure it out. Some of us make our meaning, we construct our why only for some unforeseen tragedy like divorce, bankruptcy, death of someone you love, failure, disease, to deconstruct it. As soon as that happens, we begin to reconstruct it all over again. It seems we are driven by this madness to find out why we are here, to make some sense of our daily lives. Ultimately, this frantic searching gives way to the dawning acceptance of the truth that we knew all along; there is only the fact that we are here until it becomes we were here. Until it becomes we again, death births us again into the unknown until we know that we are known. Maybe we are already known. Maybe we were known the entire time and we played hide and seek with ourselves because we needed something to do in the here and now. Like children do when they wait for their parents to return from the grocery store. Like someone sitting in the lobby room of a hospital waiting to be noticed, to be seen. We must do something while we wait. Children amuse themselves while they wait. They get lost in time. They aren't aware of time when they play. They become play and time ceases to exist. They aren't thinking of the past, they aren't thinking of the future. They are totally consumed with that present moment. The person in the waiting room, if they are good to themselves, will get lost in the wonder that is all around them. The sights and sounds of people moving to and fro. The buzzing of the lights, the shuffling of the feet, the sterile stench on the air, the hum of the computer monitor, the intoxicating laughter of a child, the beauty of a woman's face, the pain on another face. And so they too become one with the moment, at play in the present, they are beyond time. They have entered into what IS. They become what they truly are---eternal. Suddenly they've found it, what they were searching for all their lives but as soon as the bell rings, they return to hiding again from themselves and pick up again the old search. It's the game they must play, hide it and find it again. Again and again and again....

#seek truth #existentialism #existential crisis #poetry

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“In Him we move and have our being”

Whenever you find yourself in a place where you cannot see past the darkness, remember you started out as a single-cell organism that multiplied over and over again into a complex and beautiful human being. You made it here against all odds. You were the one that made it out of millions. That’s no accident. That’s no coincidence. That was intentional. That was purposeful.The Creator specifically wanted to bring you into existence. The world, the universe, your family, your friends, would not be the same without you. You add something to the universe that NO ONE else that has ever existed before you, nor will exist after you, could. You have something unique to contribute. You are as unique as a singular work of art. And its needed. It is desired. The Creator would have a permanent vacuum where you should be, if you were not here. You hold within you immeasurable amounts of eternal love. You are loved with eternity. Look around and don’t get caught up in the magnitude of it all. Instead, think about how in a single atom in your body, there exist endless bounds of life force. The stuff of the universe, found so far away, that it cannot be measured resides in you. No, you are no mistake. You are the whole reason. All that you see, hear, taste, touch, smell, is for you. All of it says, I am a part of you and you are a part of me. Your Creator loves you. And even if you were not  here in the flesh, you never cease to be in Him. 

#existence #purpose #love #creator #god #humanity

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Relational Love

We've lied to ourselves as a society that all we need is someone similar to us. That’s actually a quite self centered definition of compatibility because we're basically saying, I want to date/marry myself. Everyone you meet will have both compatibility and incompatibility. The beauty and difficulty of human relationship is that no two people are exactly alike. Just like there's no two finger prints that are exactly alike. God designed each of us uniquely. Part of the journey of getting to know someone intimately is discovering that special uniqueness. It is both a joyous and a painful journey because each one of us has been tainted by sin so inevitably, we will discover the ugly when we're discovering the fullness of a person. But that's love. Love is always selfless and outward toward another. If compatibility just means marrying someone that is like us, which is what it's become in our society, then there's no real effort to love another soul. It's really just self love. True love will require that we leave the safe zones of self interest, and venture into the unknown of another person which leaves us vulnerable. It may seem a scary prospect but true love is not possible without it.

#true love #relationship #godlydating #godlyrelationships

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The Truth About Being Perfect

"To the degree you have compassion, you are perfect"

This is a quote from my professor this morning that struck me with these thoughts. Suddenly it became clear to me why so many are embattled, embittered, and inevitably defeated and discouraged by 'perfectionism'. Perfectionism is at the core, a misconception of sin. Sin is understood by most perfectionist as an outward behavior, or action that transgresses the law. So, therefore, if I can control my outward behavior or action to not break the law, then I can in affect stop sinning and become "perfect". The bible doesn't teach this external conceptualizing of sin. The bible teaches that sin includes action, but it also much more than that. Sin is in our human nature. It is the propensity of our hearts and the corruption of our minds. Jesus repeatedly denounced, criticized, and warned against the 'righteousness' of the Pharisees which concerns itself with cleaning the outside of the cup while neglecting the inside. The Pharisees thought they had developed a system of 'perfectionism' by adding hundreds of taxing laws to the Torah (law) or Old Testament instruction whereby they could make themselves perfect. Jesus consistently taught that such a system is ultimately insufficient and unsatisfactory to make one perfect or to keep God's law. Sure someone could by extreme will power refrain from outwardly doing actions that break the law but Jesus taught that sin begins in the mind and in the heart. He said, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment. But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment" (Matt. 5:21). Here, Jesus actually makes the keeping the law HARDER by saying that if one is angry with his brother, he has already committed murder. Why? Because sin begins in the heart/mind. Before one commits the outward action of murder, he harbors malice, hate, and anger in his heart toward the one he murders. The act of murder is a manifestation of the anger that is born and nurtured in the sinful nature. He goes on to do the same with adultery, teaching that infidelity begins in the mind as lust. The question that begs to be answered is this: how can anyone change his/her own heart/mind or nature? Jesus' teaching is designed to bring us to the conclusion that we cannot, by our own will power or strength, keep ourselves from sinning. For what we need in order to completely keep God's perfect law, is not mere behavior modification, but a new heart and mind---what we need is transformation beginning from the inside out. When we realize this, we realize our need of a Savior. We recognize our unworthiness, our total depravity, and this brings to the feet of Jesus.

Furthermore, now that we have established that the true nature of sin is much deeper than mere action or non-action, we need to understand what 'righteousness' or 'perfection' really means. We now know it is not simply doing or refraining from doing an outward action, but more than that, Jesus teaches that 'righteousness' is not about rule keeping at all. Continuing His teaching, He says in Matt. 5:48 that "...you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect". Many who have heard this verse have interpreted it to mean a mere keeping of the law outwardly. Jesus was actually challenging and reinterpreting this understanding of keeping the law because it constituted the "righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees". He prefaces the entire teaching of Matthew 5 by saying "For I say to you, that unless your righteousness exceeds the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven." (Verse 20). So by this we know its not by legalism that one attains righteous perfection. So what exactly is righteous perfection and how does one achieve it? First let me start by saying that God's law IS righteous and it IS perfect. Also, keeping God's law IS righteousness and it IS perfection. But upon further reading in Matthew, Jesus provides us with the true meaning of perfect righteousness. Verses 43-47 prefaces or contextualizes verse 48 which we have already seen commands us to be perfect. Jesus defines 'perfect' for us: 

"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? HE Do not even the tax collectors do so?" (Matt. 5:43-47)

Here again, Jesus begins by saying "you have heard it said..." which points to the teaching of the Pharisaical system of outward compliance and obedience, and replaces it with the law of love. It is unconditional love and compassion shown towards those who hurt us, those who spitefully use us, and those who we consider enemies that constitutes perfection. It is this kind of self-sacrificing love that makes us sons and daughters of God. Why? Jesus says because this love is the love of God. This is how we can be perfect like our heavenly Father is perfect in that "He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust".

We are indeed called to into perfection. But that perfection has little if anything to do with just the correction of outward behavior. Perfection is manifesting the unbiased, unmerited, unabashed, unconditional and compassionate love of God. This cannot be achieved by "doing", it only be made possible by "being" connected to the only One who can take our heart of stone and give us a heart of flesh---a heart that feels compassion, a heart that selflessly loves. It is easy to stay in our selfish little worlds and just focus on refraining from eating meat, or showing up to church, or whatever other outward action we think makes us perfect. It is easy to love those who reciprocate that love, to treat with kindness those we call friends and family---but it is much more difficult to do so with those who hate us, hurt us, and spitefully use us. So while Jesus actually makes keeping the God's law HARDER in the sense that it requires us to love our enemies, His transforming love makes it feel like a burden that is easy and yoke that is light.

And this is how we can find true peace and freedom; by being like our Father in heaven who loves indiscriminatingly. By being connected to Him we can be free from the despair, disappointment, and imminent failure of trying to be "perfect" by checking off our list of rules. He can make us love like Him, and as a result of this transformation, we will keep His perfect law as well as transcend the "righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees" which only leaves us feeling empty and taxed. God's law of perfect love sets us free from such legalism. It is truly better for every one; he who loves and he who receives the love.

Footnotes:

#god #love #perfect #religion #jesus #freedom

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Morning Thoughts

I think one of the greatest mischaracterizations of God is the idea that He arbitrarily asks us to give things up. This must, without exception, lead to the conclusion that the punishment for disobeying is punitively arbitrary. I've found on this journey with Him that usually by the time you FEEL the need to give it up its because He has brought you to the place where you SEE the need to give it up. We confuse pursuing with asking. At this point, He does not need to ask. You can see for yourself that it needs to be given up. So then whatever choice that follows is not made out of compliance to arbitration, but out of the capacity of free will to assess and choose a distinctive path. It is not punishment that disobedience brings but the consequences of a choice you made. He never leads us to give up that which if we could see with untainted eyes, we wouldn't want to give up ourselves. We must choose our good and we must choose our bad and then, we must live. Love desires your well-being even when you don't but it will not force you into submission.

#morning thoughts devotional God Love God has to let this play out

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 "After one extraordinary rendition of "A Love Supreme," Coltrane stepped off the stage, put down his saxophone, and said simply, "Nunc dimittis." - "The Call" by Os Guinness.

Nunc Dimittis- from the Song of Simeon a canticle sung in Christian liturgy taken from Luke 2:29-32 which means "Now let thy servant depart in peace, for my eyes have seen thy salvation". Coltrane felt that his life was lived to the full expression of its giftedness. He had accomplished perfection with his gift and had given it back with his whole being. He had been saved by A Love Supreme. Guinness writes that, "Coltrane felt he could never play the piece more perfectly. If his whole had been lived for that thirty-minute jazz prayer, it would have been worth it. He was ready to go". 

It is only right that I devote this first blog post to the man from whom I first came to know the phrase "A Love Supreme". His life and journey to discover this Love has inspired me. Os Guinness in his book "The Call" gives some insight into the circumstances surrounding one of Coltrane's most well known albums, "A Love Supreme". Coltrane had been struggling with heavy drug abuse and addiction when he found peace, solace, and sobriety at the precipice of his musical talent. Coltrane himself called it a "spiritual awakening". The result was this album. Not only did it mark a change in the music Coltrane created, but it marked the beginning of a new man. A man who had encountered Love. A man who was saved by Love. Thereafter, Coltrane's music took on an increasingly spiritual element. Friends and relatives describe Coltrane as a searching man. One who was ever pushing the limits of what his saxophone could do. What was he in search of? Clearly he was blessed with an extraordinary gift but yet it was not enough. What drove this man? What had he encountered that awoke and enlivened his music and his heart? He writes these words in the liner notes of "A Love Supreme": "At this point I would like to tell you that NO MATTER WHAT...IT IS WITH GOD. HE IS GRACIOUS AND MERCIFUL. HIS WAY IS IN LOVE, THROUGH WHICH WE ALL ARE. IT IS TRULY--A LOVE SUPREME" Almost as if overcome by the power of that realization, his writing suddenly changes to all caps. Coltrane recognized, that he moved, lived, and had his being in the God of love who had given him being and talent as gifts. Thus, to be play was to be. It was to express God's Love. After this turning point, Coltrane would often tell people that he had dedicated his gift to the service of others. He believed his gift was given in Love, so it could be given back, in Love. He recognized this as the nature of the Almighty. To be gracious, to be merciful, to give, and to Love. His talent gave way to A LOVE SUPREME. A lesson learned from his journey--we are all in search of Love. We all need to give the gift that was given to us in service to others. This is Love. This is God. 

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A man hanging on a cross does not have to say much

Mark Finley

As I listened to Finley say this I was struck with what seemed to be a novel thought. Love is as much an action as it is an idea. It is as much a Person, as it is a concept. Self-sacrificing Love speaks for itself.