gaymayonnaise

[gaymayonnaise]

the most selfish thing my mother will ever do is bring me into existence. i will never forgive her, not even with my lifetime of her apologies.

#words words words #spilled ink #mothers

[gaymayonnaise]

its like listening to this song for the first time. i know all the lyrics word by word, every melody, every note. but its always the first time ill hear it.

#words words words #spilled ink #mitski

[gaymayonnaise]

i was once told im going to consume myself from the inside out but thats just where i put all the jealousy and all the rage and all the stress and hatred of me and my mother and her mother and the mothers before them and suddenly my mother speaks to me and there is a lump in my throat. i was once told by my mother she was happy i dont feel the need to bite as she had to and she tells me she tried her best to keep it inside her but when i say i inherited nothing of it i can’t look her in the eye

#words words words #spilled ink #poetry #original poetry #inherited rage #mothers

[gaymayonnaise]

i am going to cry! i am going to cry and you are going to tolerate me!

#words words words #spilled ink

[gaymayonnaise]

I just hope that no matter how many times this world tries to harden me and turn me into a cold person, I hope I remain soft. May I still be compassionate. May I still be full of love. May I still be soft and sees hope in everything. And to never become something that once broke me.

[gaymayonnaise]

going back home and seeing the chipped corner of the desk and the pink hairband around the curtain and the stain in the carpet and the uneven white paint on the door and the uncomfortably empty room and the absence of a child it raised and the presence of the person who left it

#thoughts #poetry #immigrants #immigrant children #childhood