goateesassypants

[goateesassypants]

Bizarro Horror is in the house.....Carlton Mellick III is one of the best authors in Bizarro

It's difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead. Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees. When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs.

#horror books #extreme horror #splatterpunk #splatterpunk horror #bizzaro

[goateesassypants]

Working on my library room! Still got some ideas and boxes of books to unpack and go thru. What to keep and what to send on for others to enjoy is hard. I am in love with this room ❤️📚❤️📖❤️📚

#library #extreme horror #splatterpunk horror #splatterpunk #horror books #horror

[goateesassypants]

I am so far behind on updating my reading. I always do this. I start something and never keep up with it.

Nikolas has been killing it with his short stories. This is one of his best so far! Read it......It's good shit!

Based on a true story from the life of the author's uncle, Dog Days is a tale of revenge and the horror man is capable of. Returning home to find his house ablaze and his dogs trapped inside, Lee Melvin learns that it all has something to do with a good deed he'd done one night. Like a redneck John Wick, Lee will stop at nothing to punish the person responsible for the deaths of his two Dobermann pinschers and the harm he's caused others.

#extreme horror #splatterpunk horror #horror books #revenge #nikolas p. robinson

[goateesassypants]

Sew Sorry by Aron Beauregard and Daniel J. Volpe

I didn't realize how far behind I was in posting some books. I have read so really great reads and this one ranks up there towards the top. When I heard that these two were teaming up to write a book together I was so excited!! Two of my favorite authors and they knocked it out of the park!

YOU GET WHAT YOU EARN Henry’s mother has enough money to live more than comfortably. But the only comfort she can concentrate on is her bizarre obsession. She can’t help but constantly seek out the donation bins on the darker side of the city. The only problem is, she isn’t putting clothing into them, she’s taking it out. Until one frigid night when she accidentally unveils her selfish secret to everyone. After the revelation, the layer of shame left lathered on Henry becomes backbreaking. As Halloween approaches, macabre ideas manifesting in Henry’s head spark a series of events that will lead to sins far worse than stealing. Garrison is hungry and cold. The only thing in his sights is finding a way to turn a dollar and his next foul meal. His own perseverance knows no bounds. His diabolical deeds are hidden in the shadowy alleys. He aims to survive, no matter who he has to trick or turn out in the process. But after burning too many bridges, he finds himself on an island. Alone, save for the salivating teeth of vengeance. When a tarnished teenager and heartless hobo collide, the streets will run red. Rich or poor, we all rot the same.

#aron beauregard #daniel j volpe #extreme horror #splatterpunk horror #must read #horror books #sew sorry

[goateesassypants]

Hamster's Ball by R. J. Benetti

Benetti = Fucked Up! What in the actual fuck did I just read???

Hamster's Ball is a coming-of-age story filled with depravity, revenge, perversion, blood, jism, and hamsters. It's a story that is sure to offend and sometimes make you laugh.

#splatterpunk horror #extreme horror #what the fuck did i just read #r. j. benetti #hamster's ball #godless.com #31 days of godless

[goateesassypants]

Left To You by Daniel J. Volpe

AMAZING!!! FUCKING FANTASTIC!!

OMG this one was sooooo good guys. Volpe outdid it with this one. Volpe went straight to being one of my all time favorite writers with this story. He is putting out some of the best stories. This is Splatterpunk but with a raw and emotional side to it.

Go get it, read it!! Volpe always has signed copies of his work available. Just hit him up on what ever social media platform you use. Sign up for his newsletter so you know all the shit he's doing first.

What would you do to save a loved one? Robert’s mother, Helen, is ravaged with cancer. Every day could be her last, and Robert dreads losing the last member of his family. Robert’s friend and Holocaust survivor, Josef, tells him an unholy story and leaves him a way to save his dying mother. But, as with everything in life, the salvation comes with a steep price. Will Robert accept what’s left to him and save his mother? Or will the cost be too high, weighing Robert’s soul down to the depths of Hell?

#splatterpunk horror #must read #horror books #extreme horror #daniel j volpe #left to you #fucking read it #holocaust #auschwitz

[goateesassypants]

The Seeing Eye Dog by R. J. Benetti

I have no words for this weird as fuck short story......No words

Walking to work can be a lonely experience... especially when everyone else works from home and you come across a crazed blind woman who has a strained relationship with her dog. Warning: Some of the contents may offend.

#splatterpunk horror #extreme horror #r. j. benetti #the seeing eye dog #fucked up #what the fuck did i just read #weird as fuck

[goateesassypants]

Palmetto by Ania Ahlborn

Thank you Nightworms for the amazing box! It came with two books which were this one and Kristopher Triana's A Cold Place For Dying. These two books were special editions published by Thunderstorm exclusively for Nightworms. If you are not a monthly subscriber to Nightworms you are missing out on some great reads. In my opinion the best monthly box out there.

Ahlborn is a favorite of mine. She wrote Brother and Seed which are both excellent reads! Go read them as well.

Kim Devland nearly has it all. A great marriage. A baby on the way. All that's missing is a house--one idyllic enough to fill the Norman Rockwell-shaped spaces in her mind. So when Kim's husband, Eddie, books a property tour of a home Kim has been eyeing online, it's love at first sight. Far too expensive for them to afford, Kim and Eddie, make an offer anyway...and score the deal of a lifetime. The house is suddenly theirs, and Kim sees it as destiny. The house is where they're supposed to raise their baby, joyful and free and full of nothing but the best memories. But homes--especially the perfect ones--are never what they seem. Before Kim and Eddie are even moved in, something begins to squirm beneath Kim's skin. Something portentous. A warning. Don't buy this house. But she ignores her misgivings. As if sensing its mother's foreboding, the baby begins to squirm beneath Kim's skin as well. Twisting. Writing. But Kim ignores that too. Blinded by the idea of storybook happiness, Kim barrels headlong into a dream that quickly proves to be anything but and unwittingly seals her family's diabolical fate. Paying homage to Ira Levin's Rosemary's Baby, Ahlborn's Palmetto takes the classic story of wanting it all and asks: how much would you sacrifice to have what you desire? And, watching your dream become a waking nightmare, how loud would you scream?

#horror #horror books #ania ahlborn #palmetto #bugs #nightworms #thunderstorm books

[goateesassypants]

Where Dreams Come True by Nikolas P. Robinson

I want to go to Disney World. Maybe....Maybe not. Not 100 percent certain after this one.

Amy's expectation of a relaxing summer of housekeeping at a theme park hotel is shattered as guests and staff alike are overcome with carnal desires that cross all lines of decency. Can she escape with her sanity intact? Can she even make it out of the hotel?

#where dreams come true #splatterpunk horror #extreme horror #splatterpunk #nikolas p. robinson #sex

[goateesassypants]

Unbortion by Rowland Bercy Jr.

If you like Spaghetti, sausage, and parmesan cheese it will never be the same for you after reading this one! Fucking hell.....

It was alive, confused, and pissed! It could not understand why it was violently separated from its host and left to rot. Following an undeniable call to pursue the one who abandoned it and seek revenge the quest for retribution had begun, and nothing or no one would stand in the way.

#splatterpunk horror #extreme horror #splatterpunk #horror books #horror #rowland bercy jr. #unbortion #spaghetti

[goateesassypants]

Some Saturday Humor

#saturday humor #extreme horror #splatterpunk horror #funny #horror humor

[goateesassypants]

31 Days Of Godless

Get in on this fucking epic 31 Days Of Godless!! Everyday in the month of October Godless.com will be releasing a new book. There are some awesome releases come out! Get your money out and go check it out. Best place to ever hit the internet!

Godless.com Go Now!!

#godless.com #splatterpunk horror #extreme horror #horror books #31 days of godless #fucking epic

[goateesassypants]

Some Humor......

#sick sense of humor #splatterpunk humor #horror humor

[goateesassypants]

The Lusty by Kevin Sweeney

The SeVlln Sick Sins is a sick ass series by Sweeney. There are 7 books in the series and they are all fucking fabulous and funny as fuck. Sweeney has a way with humor and horror. One of the best that there is!! Another author that is in the category of Bizzaro.

WARNING: EXTREME HORROR, GORE, VIOLENCE, SEX If the Marquis de Sade had lived in the time of FaceBook and TikTok... A necrophile, an incestuous mother and son, a woman who wants to have sex with every animal on Earth, and a hit-man who rapes his targets to death... Four of the dark web's most notorious perverted porn stars have been abducted by a religious maniac and his cult. He tells them that they can only be saved by indulging in the sin of lust, because, as he puts it, "In excess shall ye find salvation." And every moment of their horrifying ordeal is being filmed for the dark web's premier social media site...

#kevin sweeney #bizzaro #extreme horror #horror humor #the lusy #splatterpunk horror #splatterpunk

[goateesassypants]

Full Metal Octopus by Carlton Mellick III

Been a little bit since I have been here. So.....Let's dive into the world of Mellick. For any of you that have not read his work. You should!! Mellick is more of the Bizzaro category but still worth every minute you will spend with your face in his books. And there is quite a few!! Pick anyone, you can't take a wrong turn. Here is his latest work.....

.Welcome to Grub Town, the most corrupt city in America. A place where gutter punk mermaids swim in sewage-filled canals, fairy prostitutes hang in birdcages on every street corner, and yakuza elves run everything behind the scenes.

Eliot is the most beautiful fairy in all of the city with his dazzling emerald green butterfly wings that make everyone who sees them fall instantly in lust with him. But it's more of a curse than a blessing. Forced to hide his wings in public in order to avoid the constant sexual harassment, Eliot only finds solace when visiting his friends at the Snake Pit lamia strip club or getting tattooed by the dark and mysterious half-octopus woman named Oona.

Oona is the best tattooist in the city, but she is a frightening woman three times Eliot's size with nine-foot tentacles that could choke a man to death in seconds. But despite this fact, Eliot is desperately in love with her. He's so infatuated with the octomaid that he gets new tattoos from her each and every week just to be closer to her, addicted to having her artwork permanently embedded into his skin. But when Eliot accidentally murders the only heir to the elf yakuza crime family in Oona's tattoo shop, they are forced to go on the run together, hoping to avoid the wrath of the most dangerous man in town. With everyone in the city out to get them, they can only rely on each other if they have any hope for survival.

Like if Quentin Tarantino played with Monster High dolls, Full Metal Octopus is a return to Mellick's pulpy gritty bizarro style previously seen in The Cannibals of Candyland, Armadillo Fists, and Clownfellas.

#carlton mellick III #bizzaro #fiction #full metal octopus #splatterpunk horror #splatterpunk #horror books #must read #extreme horror #funny

[goateesassypants]

Some of my sick sense of humor.....

#splatterpunk #horror #funny #sick sense of humor

[goateesassypants]

Horror Humor.....

#horror humor #extreme humor #birthday cake #barbie #humor #sick sense of humor