godlizard

[godlizard]

Thinking about this cis dude on Botched who lost a bet and had to get breast implants. Ended up absolutely loving his boobs and kept the implants for like twenty years. Only reason he was on Botched was bc you need to replace some implants bc the chance of rupturing gets higher with time. The doctors were like “these implants are great but we can remove or replace them if you want us to” and he was like… Nah. I like these. You would not believe the amount of pussy I get from these.

It was just nice to see how a cosmetic surgery improved this dudes life. Cis men can have boobs. Cis women can have no boobs. People can do whatever they want with their bodies.

The reason so many people end up with botched surgeries is bc the surgeons are bad not bc the patients wanted to change their bodies. Cosmetic surgery can go “too far” but it’s the surgeons responsibility to advise on both the medical and aesthetic aspects of the surgery. Botched as a show has its flaws but it’s also great bc the surgeons genuinely want to help the victims of bad surgery. Lots of people come in bc they wanted a simple cosmetic surgery but it went poorly. The surgeons don’t demonize the patients for wanting to change their bodies, only condemn the bad surgeons. They don’t just remove the bad implants, they give them good implants and lifts and do whatever is needed to make the patients happy and healthy.

Lots of people come in with giant breast implants that have stretched their skin and have caused vascular issues. Sometimes the patients want bigger implants than their bodies can safety have. The doctors will give them as close to what they want without hurting them. Sometimes the patients that come in choose to keep the implants that are hurting their bodies.

Plastic surgery addicts often come on the show and despite looking strange, if the implants/injection aren’t dangerous the doctors won’t do anything. Lots of people come in to “fix” surgeries they don’t like but aren’t necessarily “botched” and the doctors will refer them.

This was a post about gender and surgery and then became a rant about plastic surgery. We gotta stop getting mad at people for getting cosmetic surgery for any reason. Even if people have “too much” cosmetic surgery. Lip filler and face filler can still be gender affirming surgery, even for cis people. Even if you think their butts are too big or their boobs look fake. Even if they’re rich and famous.

Also, lots of the surgeries end up so bad is because they’ll go to other countries and get cheap surgeries by quack doctors or even try to do injections at home. People have body dysmorphia and go to great lengths to fix it only to make it much worse. We should feel bad for these people instead of laughing at them.

#the wild part was that the surgeon who gave him the implants lost a bet to him so he got them for free #but the dude he lost the bet to was going pay for the implants as part of the original bet #so he ended up making bank of this deal #I think anyone who wants breast surgery should get paid for it too

[godlizard]

Being the Gay One in the family is fun because you Have The Knowledge and ppl just trust you. Was shopping w my straight sister for a gift for my niece and there was a cute heart shaped purse. My sister said something along the lines of “I don’t want to force gender norms on the baby” and I was just like… what’s gendered about a pink heart shaped purse? It’s cute and my niece is 1 years old she will be stuffing the purse with smushed bananas.

There is nothing gendered about clothing or accessories. My niece likes the color pink but she also likes sharks. This does mean anything other than she’s fkn cool.

[godlizard]

my sister and I both agree that one of the best parts about china was how there's food everywhere. And not just, like, bags of chips, but real hot, cooked, tasty food. You hike to the top of a mountain and there's a guy with a cart selling chicken skewers and freshly steamed corn on the cob. When you hike to the top of a mountain in america, what do you get? Nothing. An uninterrupted view of nature. Where did we go wrong as a country

#went on a grueling hike in china and at the top was a dude selling skewers and ice cream #oh and apparently a fkn ski lift #hiking in America is a gamble on whether or not you’ll be a suspect in a murder after stumbling on a dead body

[godlizard]

So I don’t have a funny reaction to anesthesia other than being sleepy however after getting surgery I did have a bunch of dreams about slamming a penis with a hammer and it exploding. Then when I woke up and went to the bathroom I left the room super angry that they shaved me.

[godlizard]

I don’t believe in ghosts but if I was walking around an abandoned asylum at the dead of night I would be freaked to shit. I grew up in a small town with a “haunted” house and ppl were often dared to go inside and it was just full of crackheads and raccoons. Like I’m scared of tetanus and rabies more than spirits. Spirits won’t stab you. Crackheads will stab you.

#it’s important to note that this house was next to an abandoned fiberglass factory that was constantly producing smoke #I lived in a meth town #and 90% of the meth users were lovely people #but this was also The South so sneaking into abandoned houses was just breaking and entering and would get you shot

[godlizard]

Watching Saltburn when I ate the most disgusting salty pasta imaginable. 5D experience.

#that salt mf burned

[godlizard]

Nacho’s three weed smoking girlfriends

#has this been done #bcs

[godlizard]

The only bad thing Nacho Varga ever did was make Jimmy throw away his ice cream cone :(

#nacho varga im in love with you

[godlizard]

Favorite bit in bosbas is when Lucy rly thought she was a snake charmer. Like she had full confidence she could sing to control snakes. Pure coincidence that she didn’t immediately die a horrible death

#the hunger games #tbosbas #lucy gray baird #when The Audacity of This Bitch saved said Bitch #icon behaviour

[godlizard]

Literally so sick of this 9-5 bullshit I want to be a crocodile

[godlizard]

Think it would be funny if Klaus being immortal has nothing to do with his powers and God just hates him that much. Like we know from his stint in the afterlife in s3 that heaven is consistent from timeline to timeline. He wasn’t even born in the Sparrow timeline and his mom died before she gave birth but they still remembered his many deaths. So even if he can’t see ghosts in the s4 timeline he can still piss off God for other reasons.

#klaus hargreeves #the umbrella academy #tua

[godlizard]

If I ever quote a tumblr post I lie and say it was a tweet to save face

[godlizard]

Imagine if instead of Vanyas book Five found a copy of Twilight

#tua #the umbrella academy #what instead he finds like a cookbook or something

[godlizard]

The Gang Commits Voter Fraud:

During the 2020 election the gang decided to get serious about the future of our country. Dennis “future millionaire” Reynolds votes for Trump. Dee votes for the 3rd party candidate, immediately sparking loud debate. Mac votes Biden because he’s gay. Everybody assumes frank is voting trump but is probably voting Kanye. The biggest upset of all: Charlie doesn’t care. Classic court case episode in which Charlie is accused of voter fraud bc he submitted four ballots: one for trump, one Biden, one third party, and one for write in “frank reynolds” the rest of the gang took it upon themselves to vote for him. After Charlie attempts to defend himself the case gets thrown out bc each ballot has a different birthdate bc no one remembers Charlie’s bday.

#iasip #it’s always sunny in philadelphia

[godlizard]

I need a new obsession I’m bored with everything

[godlizard]

Norman from paranorman is Klaus Hargreaves if his dad wasn’t a little bitch

#tua #the umbrella academy #paranorman #klaus hargreeves #imagine me but I wasn’t obsessed w tua

[godlizard]

Imagine a member of Destiny’s Children just vibing to Gloria Gaynor in 78’ and then just being like.... hold up

#tua #klaus hargreeves #the umbrella academy #destiny’s children #lmao wait until they hear the Backstreet Boys #there’s gonna be music historians thinking Beyoncé was apart of a cult before she was even born #did life imitate art or did art imitate life