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“I hate who steals my solitude without, in exchange, offering me true company.”

#friedrich nietzsche #solo dates #coffee date #coffee lover #books

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“When I stand and contemplate my fate and see the path along which you have led me

I reach my end, for artless I surrendered to one who is my undoing and my end.”

#of love and other demons #gabriel garcia marquez #garcilaso #garcilaso de la vega #leh india

[happilyaloof]

winter sun|Mussoorie

October ’23

#mussoorie #India #winter sun #landour #bakehouse

[happilyaloof]

Often sitting by myself, I assume power in solitude. It is this peace, this selfish peace that gives you company, whilst actually dreaming of better company. As abstract as in the mind, or an unforgettable face sits across the table. An anecdote plays out in front, or a regret builds up.

A wish remains. A wish to be secluded within you.

As it all comes down to y̸o̸u̸ two.

#Mussoorie #landour #cafe #pensive #solitude #table for two

[happilyaloof]

It was a lone voice in the middle of the ocean, but it was heard at great depth and great distance.

-Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera

#love in the time of cholera #gabriel garcia marquez #istanbul #turkey #ocean #sea

[happilyaloof]

Do I wish I belonged to aristocracy?

Because if you could get sentenced to a lifetime stay at a grand hotel in Moscow, for merely holding a title in the aftermath of the 1917 revolution, it still sounds good to me. Like Count Alexander Ilyich Rostov, I already have a similar lockdown routine sans the hotel, if nothing else! 😅

More than the novel, it’s the author I’m in awe of. He taught you world history, art, drama, even french lessons, all in this one elite book. From works of Tolstoy and Dostoevsky to the study of American films and music, from Tsar to post revolution Bolsheviks, from Louvre to London, Amor Towles’ vast knowledge with which he has backed his stories within the story, is par excellence. I have come out more informed, more polished I’d say.

It is a long read but elegantly written, focusing on the very charming Count Rostov and his life inside the hotel. All the while achieving a great balance of every bit of information and its effects, from his life that he left outside, in a mutating Russia.

It’s one of those books that has so many memorable characters that they become immortal, so many memorable quotes and moments that you can’t choose a favourite. However, what I can choose is this book, as now one of my favourites. It’s truly an experience.

Looking forward to the TV show based on it, that’s currently in the works.

#a gentleman in moscow #amor towles

[happilyaloof]

My heart knows not whether to weep or to rejoice, for the world of emotions we carry within ourselves. It’s haunting either way. There is always an urge to experience it all, bringing forth our unimaginable potential on display.

Set on the most scenic island in Ireland during the Irish Civil War, where the islanders may be oblivious about who is bombing who and why, but enjoy the attacks, nonetheless; two friends somehow find their own nonsensical extremes to go to, against and for each other. This brilliant piece of cinema never did once try to connect any backstory or big reveal to any of their farcical attempts. Never did once try to justify. Because, is there ever a justification, really?

And, although characters like Dominic and Jenny (a miniature donkey) who either are too simple or too silent to get noticed when the main characters are brooding, are the ones who moved me the most. So much so, you want to go embrace them and tell them, ‘’No, it was you. ‘You were the nicest of them.’’’ Their stories absolutely shatter you if you can manage to stay with them. There is Dominic, a young boy, living on a thread of hope to find goodness in people. Whereas, Jenny is the best pet one can have. I can still feel tears forming in my eyes thinking about their innocence and their performances, of course.

Every performance beautifully ranges from fitting comedy to heart breaking tragedy. It leaves you affected in a way, you’re bound to relate to and reflect on each of the portrayals later on.

‘’Some things there’s no moving on from. And I think that’s a good thing.”

Photos: tumblr

#banshees of inisherin

[happilyaloof]

Sharada (1957)

Love is like water. It cannot be restricted to just one form or shape. And to explain this flow, it took a risk of showing people those changing forms through real relationships in this brave film.

It worked in terms of a successful film, also making it the one that got accepted by the audiences, despite being so ahead of its time. I believe, it was because its bold storyline knew it had a shield of unquestioned reverence in those days, towards devotion. Under its protection, it found a way of expression in all its sincerity.

A similar experiment, if tried today, won’t be possible, as we are moving forward only in time; but moving away from the world, into our very own.

#meena kumari #raj kapoor #indian cinema #sharada

[happilyaloof]

Torn between letting go and the fear of letting myself go, I realised I needed freedom from both. Freedom from proving self-love through living a nonchalant, carefree life, and freedom from dwelling on perpetual patterns of pain. It’s become a constant struggle to choose between liberty and strategy, since neither of the two feels natural. The liberty comes from a place of following the herd into giving more importance than asked, to the latent rebel in you, often leading to irresponsibility. I find strategy, on the other hand, acceptable as long as it acts as planning, in the normal course of events. But it seems I’ve been walking on eggshells, too scared to give the reins of my life to Life itself. Not letting it run into mistakes of the past again, as if my hands on the reins could control it.

Losing hope is one strategy I used to free myself from those calculations. It’s not nihilism, as I did not yet lose my meaning and rather, felt placed right between possibilities and indifference. However, there was no promise that I won’t be scared anymore. I was, when all I wanted was to be able to breathe knowing it won’t all go away once I’ve shut my eyes to soak in the little progress I made; when I just wanted to be able to lower my guard, for once, and relax.

I do wonder how I gave away so much of power to a thing, that it could even make faith whimper in a corner. What used to be one of my strengths, became my vulnerability. I may have kept it hidden from myself, and I may have been embarrassed to tell my faith that I let fear win, but never ever was it lost on me. It held its ground and there was a renewed strength I found, where I could see faith working for me in more ways than one.

A choice will always have to be made, but letting go of the rigidity of my ideas of how things work or should work, provides a certain stillness now. It is somehow so freeing to have accepted the stillness as a part of growth, that I don’t feel the need to fervently keep moving in order to reach somewhere.

I have also understood to an extent that the mind is ever forgetful and these realisations don’t last long until they are treated as reminders to regulate their flow.

Ashhvairya

#29 #faith #choices #stillness #letting go #realisations #vulnerability #liberty #responsibility #nonchalant

[happilyaloof]

“..soul longs for deep dark forest greens, a gray-laced sky; foggy wisps traveling by.”

-unknown

#forest #dark woods #stormy weather #fog #darjeeling #india #deep forest

[happilyaloof]

30 Apr 2023

Desdemona

#othello #Shakespeare #clint dyer #national theatre #london #new delhi #desdemona #emilia #national theatre live #theatre #film #books #evening #cassio #iago #Giles Terera #rosy mcewen

[happilyaloof]

Taking a charcoal in my hand, I want to draw a man. No picture in mind. I don’t want him to look a certain way/ but to think a certain way.

I breathe into him and bring him to life. To read my thoughts some other time/ just feeling them would do today/ to carry them.

Art studio, light grey walls, high ceiling and huge glass windows, open. A white mattress on the floor, a sheet and us underneath, exchanging teardrops. The flow of a poetry, running through his fingers. His words know no other language. His gaze writes my name. The winds fly in, night and day, as strong as his crave. Blowing out the candle flames, taking with it all measures of time away.

photos-gardenbicycle, angiradhar

#art studio #grey walls #big windows #charcoal #teardrops #candles #flames #time #poetry #winds #flying #words #night readers #late nights #dreaming #breathe #thoughts #glass windows #short prose #white sheets #mood #aloof #him #fingers #flowing #high ceilings #lovers

[happilyaloof]

The evolutionary solitude that starts with first of the Buendía race, develops hermetically through passions and tragedies. It ends with awakening and love.

Got my hands on this classic. It’s a bit difficult to read as many of the main characters have the same names. Grateful for the family tree that they’ve provided to keep referring to.

It’s taken me back along with it, to the history of time itself.

Time passes but it passes in a circle, in one big and gradually, bigger family. Family grows not only in number but also in the intricacies of their emotional drama, right from where they began at primal of those feelings.

Losing count of the years, you discover the recurring inevitability of religion, war and technology, and the futility of it all at the same time. The natural balance between two sides of the world that’s been achieved is so remarkable and so life-like; it’s beautiful to read.

The story has everything for a literature lover but can’t say the same for story lovers.

The end of the book felt like the end of a world to me. The fictional, isolated world of Macondo, which only I had an access to.

#one hundred years of solitude #gabriel garcia marquez

[happilyaloof]

I doubt for it to be a hair-raiser. Because it actually is more fun than intense.

What makes it a murder mystery then? Well, there are deaths. Yes, there are more than one. Not really a spoiler since the title, that I have to mention is so intelligent, tells you already that every Cunningham is a killer!

Narration is such that you’d find yourself chuckling even amidst all the killings.

If you’ve watched and liked Knives Out, you’d be able to picture the family reunion, its gothic wooden interiors and also the chuckling, throughout the read.

The book has sections full of chapters dedicated to study each member/killer of the family, out of which I give full marks to the author for his smart humor (and should I add, his efforts?) to describe the wife-Erin Cunningham. It takes one whole chapter, i.e., chapter 9, with one full sentence to say, “I don’t want to talk about it.” Cracked me up!

I’m not much into suspense thrillers but I enjoyed this so much. Can’t wait for it to have Now A Major Motion Picture written on its cover soon. Iykwim 😄

#benjamin stevenson #everyone in my family has killed someone

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photo by Kjetil Karlsen

I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete.  I found freedom.  Losing all hope was freedom.

- Chuck Palahniuk

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antoni benavente, thomas irving, david van dartel, kjetil karlsen, persephone michou, kate kirkwood, henry gilpin, abigaël coeffier

phases magazine

#dark and stormy #dark sky #phases magazine #deep woods #dark forest #photography #mood #antoni benavente

[happilyaloof]

🗒️ Dec 18, 2022

I cried a little while reading Jordan Peterson’s Beyond Order last night. In one of his rules, he was talking about how a client in all his naivete could not believe that someone who claims/claimed to love you may want to hurt you. Genuinely hurt you, intentional hurt since they know your weak points and all the triggers.

Because we have been brought up with the belief (religious or other) that people are only good, it comes as such a shock that even facing the evil yourself you don’t want to believe it. You find justification for them and their behaviour, suffering unconsciously with trauma yourself as a result. Sometimes turning into disorders.

No matter which corner you hide this revelation in, it has shaken your view and living oblivious to it to match to your dogmatic beliefs rather than experiential knowledge is only causing perpetual suffering of the same kind.

I’d still like to believe in the good in people. Suspicion is tiresome. I’d trust them, but not in my innocence. I’d trust them knowing fully well their potential to hurt, trust them to keep my faith strong and learn courage along the way.

#jordan peterson #beyond order #rules #12 rules for life #books heal